Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark
1,291 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Mega1mpact;41574554]I was messing around with javascript and it's just pants on head retarded
[code]js> ({}+{}+"")
"[object Object][object Object]"
js> {}+{}+""
"NaN"
js> []+{}
"[object Object]"
js> {}+[]
0
[/code][/QUOTE]
[url]https://www.destroyallsoftware.com/talks/wat[/url]
-snip-
[img]http://i.cubeupload.com/oHNIPH.png[/img]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywWBy6J5gz8[/media]
I didn't know what I expected
That was quite the spectacle.
[editline]5th August 2013[/editline]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROalU379l3U[/media]
I personally prefer this one
[QUOTE=Map in a box;41728775]That was quite the spectacle.
[editline]5th August 2013[/editline]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROalU379l3U[/media]
I personally prefer this one[/QUOTE]
I was confused at 1:36 when #1 rotated. I was like THATS FAULTY
I didn't declare $i because I wanted to keep it minimalistic.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/z5XAasD.png[/img]
[url=http://www.cise.ufl.edu/~manuel/obfuscate/westley.hint]Not really a joke but it's very cool none the less.[/url]
I just stumbled upon this video:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4RRi_ntQc8[/media]
I'm not sure if it was posted anywhere before but it made me laugh. :smile:
I think I would prefer Bogosort.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/ev33Mz0.png[/img]
[QUOTE=Mega1mpact;41827792][img]http://i.imgur.com/ev33Mz0.png[/img][/QUOTE]
Took me a while to get this but when I remembered what ALSA is, it got a chuckle out of me.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/AeBCUQx.jpg[/img]
[editline]14th August 2013[/editline]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/ktvNtTo.png[/img]
The best part of UDP jokes is that I don't care if you get them.
[QUOTE=Dorkslayz;41871601]The best part of UDP jokes is that I don't care if you get them.[/QUOTE]
I it. don't get
Sitting in the computer science common room at uni and my friends getting really annoyed at his C++ code thats not working. Ask him whats up and he just grumbles at me.
"What did someone put a 1 in your sign bit or something?"
Never have I seen such a look of sheer hatred on his face.
C++ is great, friends can touch eachothers' privates!
on a similar note;
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
[img]http://puu.sh/48Am4.png[/img]
A QA engineer walks into a bar. Runs into a bar. Crawls into a bar. Dances into a bar. Tiptoes into a bar. Rams into a bar. Jumps into a bar.
-snip- Joke must have been made before.
[QUOTE=Mega1mpact;41574554]I was messing around with javascript and it's just pants on head retarded
[code]js> ({}+{}+"")
"[object Object][object Object]"
js> {}+{}+""
"NaN"
js> []+{}
"[object Object]"
js> {}+[]
0
[/code][/QUOTE]
[img]http://puu.sh/6uCsd.png[/img]
or alternatively
[img]http://puu.sh/6uCRA.png[/img]
[QUOTE=Uglehs;41739419]I didn't declare $i because I wanted to keep it minimalistic.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/z5XAasD.png[/img][/QUOTE]
If I ever date a woman who can program, I will remember this.
Threaded programming was created in 1801 with the invention of the automatic loom.
Why do Java developers wear glasses?
Because they don't C#
[QUOTE=bobiniki;44498440]Why do Java developers wear glasses?
Because they don't C#[/QUOTE]
Sorry to break it to you, but:
[QUOTE=Matt-;39563363]Why do Java developers wear glasses?
Because they don't [B]C#[/B].[/QUOTE]
No idea if this has been posted yet, though I'm sure it has: [url]http://james-iry.blogspot.com/2009/05/brief-incomplete-and-mostly-wrong.html[/url]
Some of my personal favorites:
1972 - Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that shoots both forward and backward simultaneously. Not satisfied with the number of deaths and permanent maimings from that invention he invents C and Unix.
1987 - Larry Wall falls asleep and hits Larry Wall's forehead on the keyboard. Upon waking Larry Wall decides that the string of characters on Larry Wall's monitor isn't random but an example program in a programming language that God wants His prophet, Larry Wall, to design. Perl is born.
1991 - Dutch programmer Guido van Rossum travels to Argentina for a mysterious operation. He returns with a large cranial scar, invents Python, is declared Dictator for Life by legions of followers, and announces to the world that "There Is Only One Way to Do It." Poland becomes nervous.
1995 - Brendan Eich reads up on every mistake ever made in designing a programming language, invents a few more, and creates LiveScript. Later, in an effort to cash in on the popularity of Java the language is renamed JavaScript. Later still, in an effort to cash in on the popularity of skin diseases the language is renamed ECMAScript.
1996 - James Gosling invents Java. Java is a relatively verbose, garbage collected, class based, statically typed, single dispatch, object oriented language with single implementation inheritance and multiple interface inheritance. Sun loudly heralds Java's novelty.
2001 - Anders Hejlsberg invents C#. C# is a relatively verbose, garbage collected, class based, statically typed, single dispatch, object oriented language with single implementation inheritance and multiple interface inheritance. Microsoft loudly heralds C#'s novelty.
2003 - A drunken Martin Odersky sees a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup ad featuring somebody's peanut butter getting on somebody else's chocolate and has an idea. He creates Scala, a language that unifies constructs from both object oriented and functional languages. This pisses off both groups and each promptly declares jihad.
One day in the future, Java's garbage collector will become so good it will delete itself
[QUOTE=Uglehs;41739419]I didn't declare $i because I wanted to keep it minimalistic.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/z5XAasD.png[/img][/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/ovzfsum.jpg[/IMG]
Now i get it.
Not really a programming joke, but still funny :v:
[IMG]http://anticache.img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/forlackofabettercomic-comics-winrar-258418.png[/IMG]
I feel strangely compelled to buy WinRAR now.
Guess I'll need a new avatar.
Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark
