Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark

[HeatPipe]

[QUOTE=JohnnyOnFlame;44717214]What the fuck are you doing? Did you even checkout her origin yet? Thousands of people have forked her already.
She's a pretty open girl.[/QUOTE]

It's all funny until you find that too many guys were commiting and SHA-1 collision occured.

You don't even imagine the pain.

[Goz3rr]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/ZHv8NaB.png[/img]

[Swog]

-snip-

[Darwin226]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;44791875][img]http://i.imgur.com/ZHv8NaB.png[/img][/QUOTE]

Is Minecraft not coded in English?

[Goz3rr]

[QUOTE=Darwin226;44792387]Is Minecraft not coded in English?[/QUOTE]

It's obfuscated, so if you were to look at the actual sources everything would be random letters. MCP and Forge are english though

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;44792411]It's obfuscated, so if you were to look at the actual sources everything would be random letters. MCP and Forge are english though[/QUOTE]

Don't they have a modding API (aka just the sourcecode)?

[Pangogie]

[QUOTE=DrDevil;44792773]Don't they have a modding API (aka just the sourcecode)?[/QUOTE]
I don't think so... Pretty sure they've been "working" on that for 2 years now.
Anyway, we should probably get back to the funnies.

[alexgrist]

But, it's Java not English.

[Darwin226]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;44792411]It's obfuscated, so if you were to look at the actual sources everything would be random letters. MCP and Forge are english though[/QUOTE]

Soooo... where's the funny?
The way I see it, they are indeed at a disadvantage since the tools are in English.

[shodan]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;44792411]It's obfuscated, so if you were to look at the actual sources everything would be random letters. MCP and Forge are english though[/QUOTE]
There has been a deobfuscater out there for ages.

[Goz3rr]

[QUOTE=Mega1mpact;44796617]There has been a deobfuscater out there for ages.[/QUOTE]

Deobfuscating function/variable names is impossible

[shodan]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;44796621]Deobfuscating function/variable names is impossible[/QUOTE]
They were replaced with the names hardcoded in the deobfuscator. The deobfuscator only worked with certain versions of the jar so everytime a new one came out you had to wait for it to be updated.

[Tamschi]

I don't know what is stranger, that that was actually merged or that it suddenly blew up like that a whole week later.

[Tamschi]

That's satire though, they still haven't unlocked C-plus-Equality either :v:

[DrTaxi]

[QUOTE=Tamschi;44926301]That's satire though[/QUOTE]

Which not everyone appears to have realised.

[Ott]

[url]https://github.com/lukecarbis/django/commit/b501634d258891110c3e70890643172399cd9dc0[/url]

[Ott]

[lua]
local ply = LocalPlayer()
[/lua]

[Prollgurke]

I don't know what caused this, but my daughter Ruby went off the rails a long time ago..

[TrinityX]

About the Feminist-Software-Foundation...

[url]https://github.com/torvalds/linux/pull/82[/url] :v:

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=TrinityX;45034170]About the Feminist-Software-Foundation...

[url]https://github.com/torvalds/linux/pull/82[/url] :v:[/QUOTE]

Finally the penis-driven patriarchy is stopped!

[Trech]

[QUOTE=DrDevil;45034353]Finally the penis-driven patriarchy is stopped![/QUOTE]
Yes! And they call this new future [B][url=https://gitorious.org/c-plus-equality/c-plus-equality]C+=[/url][/B]

[QUOTE][B]C+=[/B]

C+= (pronounced either C-plus-Equality, or See Equality) is a feminist programming language, created to smash the toxic Patriarchy that is inherent in and that permeates all current computer programming languages.

Note: This is a programming language written by and for FEMINISTS, not WOMEN. LEARN THE DIFFERENCE!
Philosophy

No constants or persistence. Rigidity is masculine; the feminine is fluid. I.e., fluid mechanics is hard for men 'because it deals with "feminine" fluids in contrast to "masculine" rigid mechanics'.

No state. The State is The Man. 'Nuff said. Hence, the language should be purely functional.

Women are better than men with natural language. Hence, the language should be English-based like HyperCard/LiveCode.

No class hierarchy or other stigmata of OOP (objectification-oriented programming). In fact, as an intersectional acknowledgement of Class Struggle our language will have no classes at all.

On the off chance that objects do mysteriously manifest (thanks, Patriarchy!), there should be no object inheritance, as inheritance is a tool of the Patriarchy. Instead, there will be object reparations.
Societal influences have made men often focus on the exterior appearances of women. This poisons our society and renders relationships to be shallow, chauvinistic, and debases our standards of beauty. To combat that, C+= is to tackle only audio and text I/O, and never graphics.

Unicode is the preferred character encoding due to its enabling the diverse aesthetic experiences and functionality that is beyond ASCII. UTF-8 is the encoding of choice for C+=.
Women are more social than men. Hence, social coding should be the only option. The code only runs if it is in a public repo.
Instead of "running" a program, which implies thin privilege and pressure to "work out", programs are "given birth". After birth, a program rolls for a 40% chance of executing literally as the code is written, 40% of being "psychoanalytically incompatible", and 40% of executing by a metaphorical epistemology the order of the functions found in main().

Programs are never to be "forked", as the word has clear misogynistic tendencies and is deeply problematic. Instead, programmers may never demand "forking", but ask for the program to voluntarily give permission. "Forking" will henceforth be called "consenting", and it is entirely up to the program to decide if the consent stands valid, regardless of the progress of the system clock.
[/QUOTE]

Hello World ! Pardon...Hello, feminists! in C+=

#consider <feminist_brevity_in_light_of_masculine_long-windedness.Xir>
#consider <iostream>
xe womain() //the alphabet "m" should be banned because it reminds me of the word "man"
OPENDIALOGUE
PrivilegeCheck().
sti::cout of_the_following "Hello, feminists!\n".
ENDMISOGYNY.

Bonus:

private == privileged
printf(); == yell();
class Foo{}; == social_construct Foo{};
#include == #consider
break; == leave;
if() == maybe()
for() == check()
while() == freeflowing()
sin(x) == biotruth(x)
div == unite
'y's are strictly prohibited when naming variables; only 'x's are allowed

:suicide:

[guac a moley]

My c++ code segfaulted and it started producing syntactically valid perl scripts

[guac a moley]

Legend has it that the reason Apple products are prefixed with i is due to Steve Jobs being unable to get over vi.

[Blakeguy25]

function Live()
	while( true ) do
		if ( math.random( 0, 99 ) == 100 ) then
			Productive = true
		else
			Productive = false
		end
	end
end

[AnonTakesOver]

[QUOTE=blakeguy25;45129550]

function Live()
	while( true ) do
		if ( math.random( 0, 99 ) == 100 ) then
			Productive = true
		else
			Productive = false
		end
	end
end

[/QUOTE]

Oh, I love [I]LUA![/I]

[Blakeguy25]

Lua*

[AnonTakesOver]

[QUOTE=blakeguy25;45129863]Lua*[/QUOTE]

That was the point.

[Number-41]

Does anyone know where I could find buttloads of football match data in text format? Preferably national teams. I already found the Github one but it probably isn't enough...

I also don't know how to scrape websites...

[DrTaxi]

[QUOTE=Number-41;45130974]Does anyone know where I could find buttloads of football match data in text format? Preferably national teams. I already found the Github one but it probably isn't enough...

I also don't know how to scrape websites...[/QUOTE]

You're in the jokes thread buddy

[Number-41]

Well shit, I was thinking why that title looked so unfamiliar :v: