Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark

[toaster468]

Attempt to index nil value "Joke".

Best I could do V:v:V

[Johnny on Flame]

coderssexlife.c:(.text+0x1c): undefined reference to `girlFriend'

[gparent]

[QUOTE=swift and shift;34569294]i hate that i need to do this, but sit down and let me teach you comedy 101.

that type of joke has already been made in this thread. it's funny the first time because it was an unexpected response. it's [I]not[/I] funny the second time because we all laughed the first time and now we're over it.[/QUOTE]

That's exactly what I thought when I read your PHP joke.

Humor is different for everyone, that's another thing you need to know about comedy.

[Agent766]

Wow, I made an OP! That's a first! After... 5... years...

find / -type f -exec  bash sed.sh '{}' \;
sed.sh: if [[ `file "$1" | grep -E "ASCII text$" ` ]] ; then cat "$1" | sed s:\\w:a:g ; fi

Not mine.

[Map in a box]

If you feel so bad about it I can remove you from the highlights, if you wish.
(:v:)

[supersnail11]

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language

[editline]7th February 2012[/editline]

C++ is a write-only language. I can write programs in C++, but I can't read any of them

[voodooattack]

$ alias please=sudo

[robmaister12]

[QUOTE=voodooattack;34598774]

$ alias please=sudo

[/QUOTE]

Usage: please -K | -L | -V | -h | -k | -l | -v
       please [-HPSb] [-a auth_type] [-c class|-] [-p prompt] [-u username|#uid] {-e file [...] | -i | -s | command}
Example:
    please make me a sandwich

[Rollodes]

[QUOTE=Ehmmett;34600960]ShowLoco's security[/QUOTE]

The ticker brought me here and I got nervous for a second with what you said. :tinfoil:

[DrLuke]

#define nop() __asm volatile ("nop")

int main()
{
   while(day)
   {
       nop();
   }
   for(;;) work();

return 0;
}

[icantread49]

[QUOTE=Goodthief;34554172]
"Programmers are !good at making love"[/QUOTE]

that's !true

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=icantread49;34624290]that's !true[/QUOTE]

that was a !good one

[Ziks]

this is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!getting old

[ralle105]

I like varargs...

[Xystus234]

This thread is full of it.
[URL]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1161573[/URL]

[Unknown]

[QUOTE=Ziks;34625337]this is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!getting old[/QUOTE]

I have to ask, did you check the number of ! or is it just dumb luck that they cancel one another out?

[Darwin226]

[QUOTE=Ziks;34625337]this is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!getting old[/QUOTE]

It would make more sense if they were before the "is"

[Contend]

Person: "Would you like to see a movie or go bowling?"

Programmer: "Yes."

[sp]Because "or" is inclusive[/sp]

[swift and shift]

[QUOTE=atl101;34631754][sp]Because "or" is inclusive[/sp][/QUOTE]

thanks for that because i didn't get the joke without it

[marcin1337]

void * GetProgrammer( void )
{
int Programmer = 1337;
return Programmer;
}

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=marcin1337;34632079]void * GetProgrammer( void )
{
int Programmer = 1337;
return programmer;
}[/QUOTE]

Either I'm missing something or you're trying to return an int even though you declared the function as a void.

[Lexic]

[QUOTE=DrLuke;34632146]Either I'm missing something or you're trying to return an int even though you declared the function as a void.[/QUOTE]

void*. Technically pointers are ints, so he's pointing at an unspecified region of memory that starts at ram address 1337.

[editline]10th February 2012[/editline]

(isn't c great?)

[marcin1337]

[QUOTE=DrLuke;34632146]Either I'm missing something or you're trying to return an int even though you declared the function as a void.[/QUOTE]

programming scrubz

[ralle105]

[QUOTE=Darwin226;34630853]It would make more sense if they were before the "is"[/QUOTE]

this not is getting old?

[sir whoopsalot]

[QUOTE=DrLuke;34632146]Either I'm missing something or you're trying to return an int even though you declared the function as a void.[/QUOTE]

Laugh about it as much as you want but I've actually seen someone do this and wonder why his code wasn't working.
We all collectively decided to shut the hell up.

[Darwin226]

[QUOTE=ralle105;34648592]this not is getting old?[/QUOTE]

not is, also knows as "isn't"

[swift and shift]

what do you get when you cross a cat and a dog?

[sp]catdog sin theta[/sp]

[acpm]

today im going to be working with source engine shaders and learning hlsl and all that

[editline]12th February 2012[/editline]

oh wait, this isn't waywo

[editline]12th February 2012[/editline]

still applies

[Map in a box]

I keep thinking HLSL is Half-Life shader language. It's annoying.

[marvincmarvin]

[csharp]
//Here's another little piece of advice
__asm {
push FUCK; //You take some fuck
push SHIT; //then some shit
}
//You've got a fuck shit stack
//A fuck shit stack
[/csharp]