Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark

[Goz3rr]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/qyfqzuo.png[/img]

[url=https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FeministHackerBarbie]#FeministHackerBarbie[/url]

[sepu]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;46529348][img]http://i.imgur.com/qyfqzuo.png[/img]

[url=https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FeministHackerBarbie]#FeministHackerBarbie[/url][/QUOTE]

[IMG]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B219NUKIIAEuDQV.png[/IMG]

Oh god

[proboardslol]

[QUOTE=oskramorir;46530477][IMG]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B219NUKIIAEuDQV.png[/IMG]

Oh god[/QUOTE]

god I would love to be ambidextrous and be able to code on two laptops at once

[Clavus]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;46529348][img]http://i.imgur.com/qyfqzuo.png[/img]

[url=https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FeministHackerBarbie]#FeministHackerBarbie[/url][/QUOTE]

I saw this version on my Twitter timeline yesterday:

[img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B209QsqCMAAocu4.jpg[/img]

[simssi]

[QUOTE=Prolifica;46547765]Put my theme on github, no idea if I did it right. :v:

[url]github.com/Prolifica/Facepunch-DeepDark[/url][/QUOTE]

[IMG]https://i.imgur.com/ZgntjD2.png[/IMG]

LGTM.

[FunnyBunny]

[URL="http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1642028/what-is-the-name-of-the-operator"]What is the name of the "-->" operator?[/URL]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/IZxrLhb.png[/IMG]

[DrTaxi]

[url=https://github.com/edankwan/penis.js]The most juvenile piece of code I've ever seen.[/url]

penis.setBalls('foo');
penis.setHead('bar');
if(B===D) alert('true');

[Stonecycle]

Not really a programming joke, but [url]http://bad.solutions/[/url]

[MattJeanes]

solutions is a TLD? the fuck?

[DrTaxi]

[QUOTE=MattJeanes;46645243]solutions is a TLD? the fuck?[/QUOTE]

[url]http://dumb.domains[/url]

[Goz3rr]

[quote]
std::string should have zero allocations because memory is expensive. Instead, it should use other solutions such as mongodb. That way, Chrome can easily handle massive amount of data and big data ready for 2015. Added bonus is that std::string is now async, which means massive IO, which is impossible with memory allocations because even mmap is bound by virtual space. C++17 is indeed actually working on embedding mongodb and node.js into STL because those should be industry standard and solve 100% of business problems that C++ is aimed at solving at. Already github pull request is made. All you need is 2 thumb ups and will get merged in. Just imagine, std::string is everywhere: network stack, user applications, kernel drivers... And now they all use mongodb. And they will be Actor model massively concurrent paradigm. This is new science Wolfram is talking about. Just accept the PR already.
[/quote]

So you're saying that std::string isn't web scale?

[FalconKrunch]

class Foo {
public:
  Foo();
  ~Foo();
private:
  friend Hookers hookers;
  Blackjack blackjack;
}

That realization when C++ classes get access to more privates than I do...

[Хум]

[QUOTE=FalconKrunch;46753099]

class Foo {
public:
  Foo();
  ~Foo();
private:
  friend Hookers hookers;
  Blackjack blackjack;
}

That realization when C++ classes get access to more privates than I do...[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Lemmingz95;41933078]
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.[/QUOTE]

[Funky Lambda]

[IMG]https://i.imgur.com/4t6x7i7.png[/IMG]

[Lapsus]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/rOMgcOl.png[/img]

[Rimply]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/LkFjoWl.png[/IMG]

[Funky Lambda]

[QUOTE=xDarkFieldx;46819695][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/LkFjoWl.png[/IMG][/QUOTE]

I had to steal that.

[IMG]https://i.imgur.com/Dl1dKqo.png?1[/IMG]

[Greenen72]

[QUOTE=Amiga OS;46821600][img]https://s3.amazonaws.com/pushbullet-uploads/udxZS-48bYESFgfVRkKcSGO0TtBk3GFuhSSHMm/45845029.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]

Reminds me of [URL="http://i.minus.com/ikq8hS.gif"]this[/URL] 100gb gif of (Overv?) using windows paint as an IDE

[Gmod4ever]

Anyone whose done anything semi-massive in object-oriented can't say it's completely wrong.

[backwardspy]

[QUOTE=Rocket;46964373][/QUOTE]
-Werror pls :c

[Darwin226]

[QUOTE=Rocket;46964373][/QUOTE]

Maybe if they started printing red squiggly lines along each cigarette.

[Grindigo]

[QUOTE=Darwin226;46966977]Maybe if they started printing red squiggly lines along each cigarette.[/QUOTE]

Imagine the time spent debugging.

[DrTaxi]

[url]http://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/4844334158[/url]

[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61LNBA2domL.jpg[/img]

This is an actual book on building compilers.

[DireWolf]

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;47078023][url]http://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/4844334158[/url]

[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61LNBA2domL.jpg[/img]

This is an actual book on building compilers.[/QUOTE]

Translation:

"A guide book for making your own compiler"
"Even fox-girls can understand"

[Clavus]

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;47078023][url]http://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/4844334158[/url]

[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61LNBA2domL.jpg[/img]

This is an actual book on building compilers.[/QUOTE]

They know their audience.

[Fourier]

In computer programming jargon, a heisenbug is a software bug that seems to disappear or alter its behavior when one attempts to study it.

[PaperBurrito]

Java is a bush. It would look okay to plant in your garden, and looks prettier if you shape it in a fancy way.

Python is a hedgebush shaped into a perfect cube with no branches sticking out.

C# is a hybrid thornbush with multicolored flowers. Everyone wants it in their garden but nobody likes planting it.

IBM Cobol is the Venus flytrap from 'Little Shop of Horrors'. Nobody wants it anywhere near them.

[editline]7th February 2015[/editline]

[QUOTE=mechanarchy;45505834]
I quite like this part, starting on line 7198. You'll need to scroll past the 24 levels of indentation:
[cpp]
if((player[i].skeleton.oldfree==1&&findLengthfast(&player[i].velocity)>1)||(player[k].skeleton.oldfree==1&&findLengthfast(&player[k].velocity)>1)||(player[i].skeleton.oldfree==0&&player[k].skeleton.oldfree==0)){
rotatetarget=player[k].velocity-player[i].velocity;
if(((player[i].targetanimation!=getupfrombackanim&&player[i].targetanimation!=getupfromfrontanim)||player[i].skeleton.free)&&((player[k].targetanimation!=getupfrombackanim&&player[k].targetanimation!=getupfromfrontanim)||player[k].skeleton.free))
if(((((findLengthfast(&rotatetarget)>150&&(i!=0&&k!=0))||(findLengthfast(&rotatetarget)>50&&player[0].rabbitkickragdoll/*currentanimation==rabbitkickanim*/&&(i==0||k==0)))&&normaldotproduct(rotatetarget,player[k].coords-player[i].coords)>0)&&((i==0||k==0)||((player[i].skeleton.oldfree==1&&k!=0&&animation[player[k].currentanimation].attack==neutral)||(player[k].skeleton.oldfree==1&&i!=0&&animation[player[i].currentanimation].attack==neutral)||(player[i].isFlip()&&!player[i].skeleton.oldfree&&(i==0||k==0))||(player[k].isFlip()&&!player[k].skeleton.oldfree&&(i==0||k==0))||(i==0||k==0))))||((player[i].targetanimation==jumpupanim||player[i].targetanimation==jumpdownanim||player[i].isFlip())&&(player[k].targetanimation==jumpupanim||player[k].targetanimation==jumpdownanim||player[k].isFlip())&&(i==0||k==0)&&(!player[i].skeleton.oldfree&&!player[k].skeleton.oldfree))){

[/cpp][/QUOTE]

Actual, uncensored footage of average GameTick.dmm
[sp]seriously BYOND is a massively unoptimized piece of shit used by edgy 13 year olds who can't into coding[/sp]

[NoRegard]

"This is why you shouldn't interrupt a programmer"
[img]http://img-9gag-ftw.9cache.com/photo/av0z0Bn_700b_v3.jpg[/img]

[Goz3rr]

[t]https://i.imgur.com/uCCuogh.jpg[/t]

[Exho]

Plug cause this is subreddit gets a little more action than this thread: [url]http://www.reddit.com/r/programmerhumor[/url]