Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark

[Freezebug]

Why do java programmers wear glasses?

[sp]because they can't C# (See sharp)[/sp]

[Gmod4ever]

[QUOTE=Rocket;47573138]<Response to joke>[/QUOTE]

Hey, guys, I just heard this great joke!

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Because they don't [i]C#[/i].

[Gmod4ever]

Why are C# developers always so tired?

Because they don't [b]Java[/b].

[Deco Da Man]

Why'd the programmer get cut when he put his hand in the coffee tin?

Because Java#.

[editline]bhalhrglhblahblhalrg[/editline]

blarghblahrlghalrhglbhahrlgkillmenowblahrlghblahblhalrhglahblhblarg

[Fourier]

Hey, what happens when balloon touches cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[dexon]

[img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDnTItuW8AEhiW7.jpg[/img]

[Kwaq]

[QUOTE=Amiga OS;47605248][IMG]http://u.cubeupload.com/chrishind10/1429996836078.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

meemacs XD

[Stonecycle]

[QUOTE=Kwaq;47615948]meemacs XD[/QUOTE]

C-M-(flaps to takeoff)-(50% throttle)-r becomes a tiresome chore before a normal person C-x C-c out of there. Then again, a normal person wouldn't be using Emacs to begin with.

[editline]:wq[/editline]

nvi all the way! Vim can just stop existing for all I care.

[helifreak]

[QUOTE=Stonecycle;47617495]C-M-(flaps to takeoff)-(50% throttle)-r becomes a tiresome chore before a normal person C-x C-c out of there.[/QUOTE]

Emacs is the only choice for the serious developer.
[video=youtube;D1sXuHnf_lo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1sXuHnf_lo[/video]
How many editors do you know that can do this?

[Fourier]

[QUOTE=helifreak;47617817]Emacs is the only choice for the serious developer.
[video=youtube;D1sXuHnf_lo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1sXuHnf_lo[/video]
How many editors do you know that can do this?[/QUOTE]

is this guy fucking serious

[editline]28th April 2015[/editline]

so is this like, when your code compiles correctly, you get positive feedback from dildo?

what if there is error in your code? does it slowly stabs you? electrocutes your anus?

[DireWolf]

I anticipate the day where I can implement a function that returns a Rectangle object. Because then I can name it getRect()

[Exho]

local chance = math.random( ent.difficulty )
			
-- Our RNG Jesus, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy algorithms
if chance == ent.difficulty / 2 then
	local ore = table.Random( ent.goods )

[NoRegard]

I'm so glad we didn't decide to call Shelf 'Cis' or something

public void TriggerShelfChecking()
        {
            var fridge = _owner.CtrlTemp._bll.GetList("Køleskab"); //Get the list
            var newNotifications = _owner.CtrlTemp._bll.CheckShelfLife(fridge); //Call the ShelfLife-checking method
            DontAddDuplicates(newNotifications);
            AddNewNotifications(newNotifications);
            _owner.UpdateNotificationsAmount(); //The above methods can add notifications to '_owner', so we'll have to update the amount, so we can show that in the GUI
        }

[FalconKrunch]

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;47629468]I anticipate the day where I can implement a function that returns a Rectangle object. Because then I can name it getRect()[/QUOTE]

Oh god this reminds me of a teacher of mine who was talking about a parser with a database and a class factory for easily creating UIs.
Then when he was explaining how he wanted us to implement database access:

"So if you need an object from the database you can just write 'db', database, get, rect"
While writing 'db->get(Rect);' on the board. Half the class faints laughing, leaving the teacher flabbergasted.

[NoRegard]

every company ever
[img]http://unity-studios.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/10dec_google-1024x575.jpg[/img]

[saintsim]

Is it bad I laugh at these even if i don't get them?

[simssi]

The quality of posts in [URL="https://pay.reddit.com/r/csharp/"]/r/csharp[/URL] is just astonishing.

[URL="https://pay.reddit.com/r/csharp/comments/35jxok/how_to_increment_by_two_without_loop_in_c/"][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/6shNr6f.png[/IMG][/URL]

[NoRegard]

is it bad to just write increment twice? it's less space than a for loop I guess.
actually a for loop is not bad.
why not a loop.

[shodan]

[QUOTE=Simspelaaja;47701940]The quality of posts in [URL="https://pay.reddit.com/r/csharp/"]/r/csharp[/URL] is just astonishing.

[URL="https://pay.reddit.com/r/csharp/comments/35jxok/how_to_increment_by_two_without_loop_in_c/"][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/6shNr6f.png[/IMG][/URL][/QUOTE]

You can only do this with a loop it's the simplest way:

namespace CoolGreenlightGame1341
{
    class Score
    {
        public Int32 Value {get; set;}
        public Score(Int32 value) {
            this.Value = value;
        }

        public static implicit operator int(Score s) {
            return s.Value;
        }

        public static implicit operator Score(Int32 s) {
            return new Score(s);
        }

        public void IncrementByTwo() {
            Score bck = this;
            while (this <= bck + 1) {
                this.Value = this + 1;
            }
            // We incremented by two
        }

        public void DecrementByOne() {
            // Best way to do it!!!
            unsafe {
                Score bck1 = this;
                Score bck2 = this + 1 ;
                while (bck2 != bck1) {
                    this.Value = this + 1;
                    bck2 = this + 1;
                }
            }
        }

        public override string ToString() {
            return String.Format("You super coooollll score is {0}!", this.Value);
        }
    }
}

[DrTaxi]

why would you even waste time on writing this

[shodan]

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;47702600]why would you even waste time on writing this[/QUOTE]

[img]https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiling.png[/img]

[Goz3rr]

[QUOTE=Simspelaaja;47701940]The quality of posts in [URL="https://pay.reddit.com/r/csharp/"]/r/csharp[/URL] is just astonishing.
[/QUOTE]

Just FYI you don't have to use pay.reddit.com anymore, they support full site HTTPS now

also

[img]http://i.imgur.com/ylzkgdj.png[/img]

[Cold]

[quote]If java had true garbage collection, most java programs would delete themselves upon execution[/quote]

[Rohan]

[QUOTE=Amiga OS;47730161][url]http://www-01.ibm.com/support/knowledgecenter/SS9H2Y_6.0.0/com.ibm.dp.xi.doc/json_jsonx.html[/url][/QUOTE]

[url]http://www.xscript.dk/samples/MIPro_2.htm[/url]

[Aflito]

I'm new to programming, starting college at Computer Science, one of my first creations is a calculator to tell me when it's gonna be the year of desktop linux.

In Java:

package lista1exercicios;

import java.util.Scanner;

public class NewClass  {
    
    public static void main(String[] args) {
     Scanner scanner = new Scanner(System.in);
          
     int anoatual;
     System.out.println("Let's get started, type in the current year:");
     anoatual = scanner.nextInt();
     anoatual ++;
     System.out.println("The Desktop Linux year it's: "+anoatual);
   
    }
}

[helifreak]

Is the joke that you are using java?

[Antianan]

[QUOTE=Mega1mpact;47702121]You can only do this with a loop it's the simplest way:
[/QUOTE]

But now i need to increment by 3 :(

[shodan]

[QUOTE=antianan;47778203]But now i need to increment by 3 :([/QUOTE]

Easy!

Score s = 100;
s.IncrementByTwo();
s.IncrementByTwo();
s.DecrementByOne();

[Antianan]

[QUOTE=Mega1mpact;47778432]Easy!

Score s = 100;
s.IncrementByTwo();
s.IncrementByTwo();
s.DecrementByOne();

[/QUOTE]

I'd better do it this way:

Score s = 100;
s.IncrementByFive();
s.DecrementByOne();
s.DecrementByOne();

perfect

[Goz3rr]

[img]https://i.imgur.com/3K26ZNh.png[/img]