Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark

[Dromlexer]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/8NFIwoC.png[/img]

Old gold

[Tamschi]

[URL="https://www.jitbit.com/alexblog/249-now-thats-what-i-call-a-hacker/"]Who knows if this is real[/URL], but the coffee thing is gold :v:

[suXin]

[QUOTE=Tamschi;49196755][URL="https://www.jitbit.com/alexblog/249-now-thats-what-i-call-a-hacker/"]Who knows if this is real[/URL], but the coffee thing is gold :v:[/QUOTE]

Want to point out that the original script is called "coffee-blyat.sh"

[Tamschi]

[QUOTE=suXin;49196886]Want to point out that the original script is called "coffee-blyat.sh"[/QUOTE]

That makes sense, I was wondering why they were in English [URL="https://archive.is/2Wu1G#selection-649.0-659.440"]:v:[/URL]

[Cyberuben]

[QUOTE=Tamschi;49196755][URL="https://www.jitbit.com/alexblog/249-now-thats-what-i-call-a-hacker/"]Who knows if this is real[/URL], but the coffee thing is gold :v:[/QUOTE]

It is obviously fake. There are way too few reasons in his "array of excuses", the story claims the coffee machine receives a lot of gibberish in binary while the script shows two simple text commands. Plis, it only says "sys brew", where does it say what it should brew?

[Antianan]

[QUOTE=Cyberuben;49197846]It is obviously fake. There are way too few reasons in his "array of excuses", the story claims the coffee machine receives a lot of gibberish in binary while the script shows two simple text commands. Plis, it only says "sys brew", where does it say what it should brew?[/QUOTE]

The scripts are already proven to be fake, still it's hilariuos they actually took their time to implement all that stuff.

[cartman300]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/W3tvETX.png[/img]

Safe memory allocation in C

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=cartman300;49205587][img]http://i.imgur.com/W3tvETX.png[/img]

Safe memory allocation in C[/QUOTE]

Yeah, but what is that thing around the code?

[Perl]

[url]https://arithmetic-as-a-service.appspot.com/[/url]

require "net/http"
require "json"

[Fixnum, Float].each do |class_name|
  class_name.send :define_method, "aaas_eval" do |str|
    path = "http://arithmetic-as-a-service.appspot.com/api/?#{str}"
    JSON.parse(Net::HTTP.get(URI.parse(path)))["value"]
  end

  %w[+ - / *].each do |op|
    alt = "_#{op}"
    class_name.send :alias_method, alt, op
    class_name.send :define_method, op do |val| 
      if caller.to_s =~ /\/lib\//
        return self.send alt, val
      end
      self.aaas_eval("#{self}#{op}#{val}").to_f
    end
  end
end

puts 10 / 3 + 2 * 5

PS G:\home\romet\prog\justfuckmeup> ruby why.rb
13.333333333333334

enjoy nightmares

[MaximLaHaxim]

-snip-

[Dromlexer]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/cmdr2pt.png[/IMG]

[Hellspawn]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/0sETZ5t.png[/IMG]

[Jcw87]

A friend of mine was looking though an old game maker project, and was telling me about some of his horrible variable names

[quote]
4:17 AM - anonymous friend: haha when I need to temporarly hold a ID of a instance I call the variable ED
4:17 AM - anonymous friend: cuz it doesn't last long.
[/quote]

[DrTaxi]

hey guys we should all stop making fun of php and java

[url=http://blog.aurynn.com/86/contempt-culture]it's misogynist[/url]

[inaba]

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;49349929]hey guys we should all stop making fun of php and java

[url=http://blog.aurynn.com/86/contempt-culture]it's misogynist[/url][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]It’s 2015, and I saw a presenter at a Python conference make fun of Java. How would that feel to people trying to move from Java into something else? I wouldn’t feel welcome, and I’d have learned that the idea that the Python community is welcoming wasn’t true.[/QUOTE]

I dunno, I'd feel more welcome by that.

I Googled the author of the article just for fun, and to be honest, they looked just like I imagined.

[inaba]

[QUOTE=Amiga OS;49351022]Rotund with blue hair and pubes?[/QUOTE]

Well seemingly not as ritund anymore

[t]http://catpanic.eu/upl/2015-12-19_21-47-27.png[/t]

I do wonder what would happen if you told them that [URL="https://github.com/aurynn/salt-base"]master[/URL] is a sexist term

[Gufu]

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;49349929]hey guys we should all stop making fun of php and java

[url=http://blog.aurynn.com/86/contempt-culture]it's misogynist[/url][/QUOTE]

Java and PHP devs are in NO way a minority. Even then, most people who make fun of the Programing languages, know those languages, because IT IS their languages. You can't make fun of a programin language without knowing much about it. Then not only you couldn't make the joke, you couldn't even appreciate it. No one legitimately hates programing languages or people who write in them. Except IBM COBOL, but that doesn't count.

[Tamschi]

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;49349929]hey guys we should all stop making fun of php and java

[url=http://blog.aurynn.com/86/contempt-culture]it's misogynist[/url][/QUOTE]

At least there are [I]some[/I] sensible ideas there, I expected worse.

[krail]

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;49349929]hey guys we should all stop making fun of php and java

[url=http://blog.aurynn.com/86/contempt-culture]it's misogynist[/url][/QUOTE]

do people actually say 'php developers are retards' or 'java programmers are stupid'?

I don't think I've ever seen someone expressing actual contempt for other developers based on what they code in

'php is stupid' is an entirely different beast. I mean, what if php really is just bad? just saying it's stupid isn't very constructive but its still an opinion and that doesn't automatically equate to a personal attack on its users

and I agree that we could lose some of the tribal mentality of languages, software, operating systems etc, but what the fuck does this have to do with minorities and women in STEM???

[DrLuke]

In the end it doesn't matter what language you use as long as you have fun doing cool things.

[vladka24]

-snip-

[Arena]

[ERROR] addons/life/lua/init.lua:37: Tried to use invalid object (type Genitalia) (Object was NULL or not of the right type)
 1. __metaindex - [C]:-1
    2. SetSize - addons/life/lua/init.lua:37
        3. PerformLayout - addons/life/lua/parts/sh_geni.lua:270
            4. unknown - addons/life/lua/parts/sh_geni.lua:270

Yeah.. it's bad, I know.

[Antianan]

[t]http://cs629524.vk.me/v629524461/3cef5/oQ0xVkAU5XI.jpg[/t]
When you decided to implement a binary tree, but it's christmas

[cartman300]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/vkGfO5Q.png[/img]

[Fourier]

that joke was so fast I missed it

[Fourier]

That made me giggle. Isn't that word actually something about "unity / oneess"?

[inaba]

[QUOTE=Rocket;49408064]ubuntu is a south african bantu word that roughly translates to "can't afford a real operating system"[/QUOTE]

I thought that was the definition of Fedora

[DrTaxi]

[url=https://media.ccc.de/v/32c3-7130-the_perl_jam_2]The Perl Jam 2.[/url]
I won't spoil it. Suffice it to say that you don't need to know Perl to laugh at it.

[Dromlexer]

[t]http://i.imgur.com/kjkHHcO.jpg[/t]

New raspberry pi case

[DaCool]

[QUOTE=Dromlexer;49411539][t]http://i.imgur.com/kjkHHcO.jpg[/t]

New raspberry pi case[/QUOTE]

Needs watercooling.