Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark
1,291 replies, posted
Not really a joke, but I found this in a programming article and thought it was hilarious.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/aCVfhEz.png[/img]
[thumb]http://carp.tk/$/1463164394.png[/thumb]
"Hey girl, are those pants .RAR? If so let me unzip them for you..."
[QUOTE=elevate;50311135]Not really a joke, but I found this in a programming article and thought it was hilarious.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/aCVfhEz.png[/img][/QUOTE]
You will find many more like these at [url=http://classicprogrammerpaintings.com/]Classic Programmer Paintings[/url]
[QUOTE=RighteousFury;50314688]"Hey girl, are those pants .RAR? If so let me unzip them for you..."[/QUOTE]
I don't really know if this has much to do with programming tbh.
[QUOTE=war_man333;50318302]I don't really know if this has much to do with programming tbh.[/QUOTE]
I mean he used zip to open a rar file, that takes some effort.
[QUOTE=gufu;50322185]I mean he used zip to open a rar file, that takes some effort.[/QUOTE]
I was really tired when I made that post, here's one that is more worthy...
"Hey girl, can I inject my SQL into your database?"
[QUOTE=RighteousFury;50322202]I was really tired when I made that post, here's one that is more worthy...
"Hey girl, can I inject my SQL into your database?"[/QUOTE]
Cringe aside, do you have anything [I]not[/I] creepy?
[url]https://github.com/canadaduane/house[/url]
Made my day
[img]https://i.gyazo.com/8671dfa3001e74b5a5d77974b99f0748.png[/img]
[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1sXuHnf_lo[/url]
Linked because it has a dildo in it
There really ISN'T anything emacs can't do
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/K4S8Dxk.jpg[/IMG]
*fourth picture of the dog getting euthanized*
Can we make this joke bannable yet?
[editline]---[/editline]
Ban time: Number of times this joke has been posted before, in weeks
[QUOTE=DrTaxi;50364725]Can we make this joke bannable yet?
[editline]---[/editline]
Ban time: Number of times this joke has been posted before, in weeks[/QUOTE]so a permaban then
If left-pad wasn't enough for you, try [url=https://github.com/const-io]const-io[/url], a set of JavaScript microlibraries for common mathematical constants. With makefiles! And unit tests! And code coverage measurement!
[t]http://i.imgur.com/Z8hizlg.png[/t]
[editline]---[/editline]
Step 1: Make a set of microlibraries for common mathematical constants.
Step 2: Wait until The Entire Internet™ uses it.
Step 3: Double all the constants for April Fool's Day.
Step 4: Watch as the web falls apart one Continuous Deployment™ at a time.
[editline]---[/editline]
Step 5: Write an article for a major newspaper on how you broke the Internet.
Step 6: Profit. Literally.
[QUOTE=DrTaxi;50396925][...] Continuous Deployment™ [...][/QUOTE]
I still have no idea how anyone ever thought that was a good idea.
[QUOTE=Tamschi;50397205]I still have no idea how anyone ever thought that was a good idea.[/QUOTE]
Well, I was making a joke. Continuous deployment generally requires that all tests pass (including, in a web context, integration and view tests in a development environment that's an exact replica of the production environment except it's not user-facing and doesn't use live data, A/B tests and gradual rollout), so if this happens to you you were doing CD wrong in the first place.
As we've seen with left-pad, this sort of thing will probably still break your build, but that's nothing to do with CD and your live site won't be affected.
It's not like the philosophy behind microlibraries (i.e. "you shouldn't have to remember how to left-pad, this is common enough that it should be in a library") is totally pointless either, it's just the slavish adherence to it (i.e. "...so clearly left-pad should be in its [I]own[/I] library") that's ridiculous. And you can bet that the sort of people who slavishly adhere to the microlibrary pattern also slavishly adhere to CD.
[QUOTE=derpyllama;50388829][URL="https://xkcd.com/1685/"][IMG]https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/patch.png[/IMG][/URL][/QUOTE]
What exactly am I looking at?
Photoshop has a Patch (as in clothes) Tool. You (free-form) select an area, then drag that selection somewhere else, and copy the content of this second area into the first (with some blur to make it fit in better, I believe).
What does FP prefer?
[IMG]https://facepunch.com/fp/ratings/wrench.png[/IMG] for
[code]
if (condtion) {
stuff;
} else if (condtion) {
stuff;
} else {
stuff;
}
[/code]
[IMG]https://facepunch.com/fp/ratings/information.png[/IMG] for
[code]
if (condtion) {
stuff;
}
else if (condtion) {
stuff;
}
else {
stuff;
}
[/code]
For the joke, I am asking because someone I work with codes like this :suicide:
[code]
if (condtion) {
stuff;
} else
if (condtion) {
stuff;
}
else
{
stuff;
}
[/code]
[QUOTE=DrTaxi;50397317]Well, I was making a joke. Continuous deployment generally requires that all tests pass (including, in a web context, integration and view tests in a development environment that's an exact replica of the production environment except it's not user-facing and doesn't use live data, A/B tests and gradual rollout), so if this happens to you you were doing CD wrong in the first place.
As we've seen with left-pad, this sort of thing will probably still break your build, but that's nothing to do with CD and your live site won't be affected.
It's not like the philosophy behind microlibraries (i.e. "you shouldn't have to remember how to left-pad, this is common enough that it should be in a library") is totally pointless either, it's just the slavish adherence to it (i.e. "...so clearly left-pad should be in its [I]own[/I] library") that's ridiculous. And you can bet that the sort of people who slavishly adhere to the microlibrary pattern also slavishly adhere to CD.[/QUOTE]
My problem is more with the security aspect. Think about what would have happened if [I]leftpad[/I] had been replaced with malicious code instead.
It seems that a lot of huge, widely used platforms try to publish external code into production with a ton of dependencies without any manual auditing. Sure, someone would have found it, but it would have been way too late at that point if the dependency updates and/or deployment are fully automated.
Considering npm doesn't even seem to support two-factor authentication, I consider it only a matter of time until things go even more wrong than they did before.
Totally, but that's a problem with being too trusting of external dependencies (and some bad npm design decisions), not the process.
[QUOTE=Tamschi;50402681]My problem is more with the security aspect. Think about what would have happened if [I]leftpad[/I] had been replaced with malicious code instead.
It seems that a lot of huge, widely used platforms try to publish external code into production with a ton of dependencies without any manual auditing. Sure, someone would have found it, but it would have been way too late at that point if the dependency updates and/or deployment are fully automated.
Considering npm doesn't even seem to support two-factor authentication, I consider it only a matter of time until things go even more wrong than they did before.[/QUOTE]
Isn't there a way to siphon dependencies you actually want into your own private npm packages? If so, I don't know why anyone would blindly trust that packages available on npm will always be there and will always be safe. That's fine for small-scale personal projects, but when you have some auto-scaling deployment it doesn't really seem safe...as we've all seen
[QUOTE=Trumple;50425979]Isn't there a way to siphon dependencies you actually want into your own private npm packages? If so, I don't know why anyone would blindly trust that packages available on npm will always be there and will always be safe. That's fine for small-scale personal projects, but when you have some auto-scaling deployment it doesn't really seem safe...as we've all seen[/QUOTE]
As far as I can tell, yes. You can either pay to get a private npm instance that you can control completely, or you can bundle your dependencies before distribution of your software, so you can review them yourself.
Quite obviously that's something many people including some working on large professional software [I]don't[/I] do though.
It's definitely on them, but in the face of to be expected stupidity I'd really prefer if npm slapped a few warning in that regard onto their pages. Especially since these are more often network services (possibly handling user data) than not.
(NuGet [I]kind of[/I] has the same problem in that auditing dependencies is difficult, but at least there you pretty much [I]have[/I] to bundle them before release.
I don't think I've seen any software that restored dependencies on first run or deployment so far, outside of 'compile it yourself from this repository' stuff.)
Anyone know Wlanguage?
[url]http://www.windev.com/wlanguage/[/url]
French:
[code]sChaine est une chaîne
sChaine = DateVersChaine(DateDuJour())
Info("Nous sommes le " + sChaine)[/code]
English:
[code]sChaine is string
sChaine = DateToString(Today())
Info("Today's date is the " + sChaine)[/code]
You can even write it in Chinese apparently!
[QUOTE=dexon;50447438]
[url]http://www.windev.com/wlanguage/[/url]
[/QUOTE]
Oh wow, a Flash-based PDF reader, power of Adobe Flash and Adobe PDF exploits combined?
Other then that, looks cool.
Though some languages would most likely be difficult to code in.
[QUOTE=dexon;50447438]Anyone know Wlanguage?
[url]http://www.windev.com/wlanguage/[/url]
French:
[code]sChaine est une chaîne
sChaine = DateVersChaine(DateDuJour())
Info("Nous sommes le " + sChaine)[/code]
English:
[code]sChaine is string
sChaine = DateToString(Today())
Info("Today's date is the " + sChaine)[/code]
You can even write it in Chinese apparently![/QUOTE]
[URL="http://www.windev.com/wlanguage/data/assets/downloads/publication.pdf"]Direct link to PDF[/URL] so people like me without flash don't have to go into the source to find the link.
Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark
