Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark

[DarkShadow6]

[QUOTE=Extinct;35221353]Doesn't really belong here but am I the only one to name my variables long penis or int elligent?[/QUOTE]
Yes.

[Map in a box]

[QUOTE=Extinct;35221353]Doesn't really belong here but am I the only one to name my variables long penis or int elligent?[/QUOTE]

You haven't seen any of Garry's code yet have you

[DarkShadow6]

[QUOTE=Extinct;35221353]Doesn't really belong here but am I the only one to name my variables long penis or int elligent?[/QUOTE]
Because I can come up with nothing, here's some from my friend.
[quote]
MagiSun (popinman322) (7:20 PM):
long penis = 0
DarkShadow6 (7:20 PM):
Yes yes
I know it's so funny
MagiSun (popinman322) (7:20 PM):
short stamina
DarkShadow6 (7:20 PM):
Ahuaheuaheuahe
MagiSun (popinman322) (7:21 PM):
byte hisDick
DarkShadow6 (7:21 PM):
i am so
stealing these
*yoink*
[/quote]

[Deco Da Man]

[QUOTE=Rayjingstorm;35220341]:psyduck:[/QUOTE]

[img]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/1179448/gifs/Zl1S4.gif[/img]

[stringy]

[QUOTE=Deco Da Man;35225062][img]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/1179448/gifs/Zl1S4.gif[/img][/QUOTE]

sry, I keep forgetting the emotes were removed, and when I do remember I'm just lazy :v:

[I Am A Rock]

There are 10 types of people in the world.

Those who understand binary, those that don't, and those that thought this was a base two joke.

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=I Am A Rock;35380238]There are 10 types of people in the world.

Those who understand binary, those that don't, and those that thought this was a base two joke.[/QUOTE]

There's 10 types of people in the world.

People who think this joke still is funny and the rest of the world.

[backwardspy]

[QUOTE=DrLuke;35389427]There's 10 types of people in the world.

People who think this joke still is funny and the rest of the world.[/QUOTE]
I know what you're trying to get at but technically you could apply that to absolutely any joke on the planet :v:

[Number-41]

C++ Programmer's valentines card:

"Can I be your friend, because I'd love to access your privates."

[backwardspy]

[QUOTE=Number-41;35396356]C++ Programmer's valentines card:

"Can I be your friend, because I'd love to access your privates."[/QUOTE]
you can access my private member any day ;)

[cwook]

Bumping this for 12210 base 4.

[長門有希]

Posting this here because some guy on the FP Programmers Steam chat asked me to:

Fire... I was always fascinated by it. How it gives us heat, how it looks, how quickly it can get out of control.
However, people were alarmed by my fascination, and tried to cure me of it. At time, I believed that they did.
Years later, I became a programmer. I pretty much forgot all about my passion. At this point, I was just focused on my job, and on supporting my family.
However one day I was just buing some supplies for my job, when something caught my eye. It was.. nothing special, yet the moment I saw it, I knew I needed it. So I bought it, and after I touched the box, it all turned into a dream.
I only regained control as I was standing in front of my house which was on fire. And yet, even through I could hear the pained screams of my wife, I just stood there, unable to move. The sound of sirens got closer and closer. Somehow I knew this was my fault, yet I did not try to escape my fate. With all might I looked down. [sp]In my hands there was a box that read: "Nvidia Geforce 580GTX"[/sp]

[Overv]

GPL

[1cebabe]

I know it may not be a joke, but it always shines a light of optimism while programming and makes me giggle

#define ever ;;

int main()
{
    for(ever)
    {
        ...
    }
}

[sim642]

[QUOTE=vombatus;35902125]I know it may not be a joke, but it always shines a light of optimism while programming and makes me giggle

#define ever ;;

int main()
{
    for(ever)
    {
        ...
    }
}

[/QUOTE]

or just

#define forever for(;;)

int main()
{
    forever
    {
         ...
    }
}

[Number-41]

LabView

actually it's not funny at all when you have to use it, I tell you guys it's the antichrist

[IMG]http://img.thedailywtf.com/images/201104/labview.jpg[/IMG]

[Digital Spit]

Guys I gotta share...

If loving you is ROM I don't wanna read write. (Like be right?) haha?

[editline]23rd May 2012[/editline]

Oh and

There are 10 types of people in the world...

Those that understand binary...and those that don't.

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=Digital Spit;36074621]
There are 10 types of people in the world...

Those that understand binary...and those that don't.[/QUOTE]

Wow seriously?

[Cockman]

I have a joke.

if(diarrhea){
buttplug.apply();
}else if(!diarrhea){
this.relaxandnothavediarrhea();
}

I am really funny. Programming is hilarious. It's a very funny topic. Super funny. I'm laughing very hard right now.

[Darwin226]

[QUOTE=Cockman;36082947]I have a joke.

if(diarrhea){
buttplug.apply();
}else if(!diarrhea){
this.relaxandnothavediarrhea();
}

I am really funny. Programming is hilarious. It's a very funny topic. Super funny. I'm laughing very hard right now.[/QUOTE]

Please don't be offended by this but you sound very young. Try posting normally like other people do because you don't really want the people to get the wrong impression from you.

[Peachy]

Import Speech.Phrases.Jokes();

[AlienCat]

void myFunction()
{
    //Do something

ERROR END OF FILE NOT FOUND!
ERROR YOU ARE MISSING A SEMICOLON!
ERROR INVALID USAGE OF VOID IN void nextFunction()!
ERROR EVERY POSSIBLE ERROR OTHER THAN YOU ARE MISSING A "}" IN THE END OF THE FUNCTION!

[dajoh]

int main()
{

main.cpp(3): fatal error C1075: end of file found before the left brace '{' at 'main.cpp(2)' was matched

[Murk]

A programmer walks into a coffee shop.

The floor is covered in garbage.

[swift and shift]

[QUOTE=Murkrow;36086897]A programmer walks into a coffee shop.

The floor is covered in garbage.[/QUOTE]

a hipster programmer walks into a coffee shop

he buys a $8 vente mochalattefrappaccino with whipped cream and hazelnut syrup, 50% full cream milk, 25% low fat, 25% no fat to go and plugs his macbook into the power, connects to the free wifi and sits there all day

[AlienCat]

Two program codes was walking over the street. A car ran over one of them.
The other program code said "Come on now, Visual Basic code, lets move on."

[willer]

I told my girlfriend I was using std::AIDS;

I dunno why, she immediately dumped me and ran away.

[Number-41]

I guess she couldn't find your package

[AlienCat]

New stupid joke!

Two (male) programs was looking for a nice (female) program.
Program A said: "You have no chance! She is mine!"
Program B asked: "Why?"
Program A answered: "I have been profiled."

[ichiman94]

They told me C++ sucks, I make their lives return 0.