Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark

[Jookia]

[QUOTE=ichiman94;36100035]They told me C++ sucks, I make their lives return 0.[/QUOTE]

Success?

[sakroit]

public class ytinifnI
{
bool randomvar = true;
int wastevar = 1;

while (wastevar < 10)
{
if bool randomvar = true;
randomvar = false;

if bool randomvar = false;
randomvar = true;
}
}

1/0 = ytinifnI

[backwardspy]

[QUOTE=sakroit;36106992]public class ytinifnI
{
bool randomvar = true;
int wastevar = 1;

while (wastevar < 10)
{
if bool randomvar = true;
randomvar = false;

if bool randomvar = false;
randomvar = true;
}
}

1/0 = ytinifnI[/QUOTE]
By what insane stretch of the imagination is this anything close to resembling a joke? Unless of course the joke is kinda meta; and about the post itself.

[robmaister12]

[QUOTE=sakroit;36106992]public class ytinifnI
{
bool randomvar = true;
int wastevar = 1;

while (wastevar < 10)
{
if bool randomvar = true;
randomvar = false;

if bool randomvar = false;
randomvar = true;
}
}

1/0 = ytinifnI[/QUOTE]

'ytinifnI.randomvar' is a 'field' but is used like a 'type' - line 9
'ytinifnI.randomvar' is a 'field' but is used like a 'type' - line 12
'ytinifnI.wastevar' is a 'field' but is used like a 'type' - line 6
A namespace cannot directly contain members such as fields or methods - line 16
Invalid token '=' in class, struct, or interface member declaration - line 9
Invalid token '=' in class, struct, or interface member declaration - line 12
Invalid token '10' in class, struct, or interface member declaration - line 6
Invalid token 'while' in class, struct, or interface member declaration - line 6
Type expected - line 6

[gamingrobot]

A programmer walks into a foo

[Cyrix]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Recursion
Recursion who?
Knock Knock...

What did true say to false on Halloween?
"BOOOOOOOlean"

Those are the two corny jokes I've thought up before.

[ScottyWired]

-snip two years and 12 days later and even I don't get it-

[manolis]

camcole1

[Se1f_Distruct]

useful

[gamingrobot]

A programmer walks into a foo, he orders 1.38 root beers. The bartender informs him that he is ordering a root beer float. The programmer replies "Make it a double".

[Darwin226]

Related to the last one but not really a programming joke.

If you get root beer in a square glass, do you get beer?

[mrtilepy]

[cpp]void setFriends(Person[] friends) throws NullPointerException {

}
[/cpp]

[ryansworld10]

Just because something has a type of coffee for a name doesn't mean its all fun and games.

It says "Hello World!" but that doesn't mean the world cares.

[Tinker Toy]

An array of chars walks into a bar and orders a&#12891;&#11991;&#54459;&#12801;&#38627;&#54498;

[MrOats]

Windows '98

:trollface:

[ichiman94]

DLL hell is not a joke.

"It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?"

[Johnny on Flame]

"Yo momma so fat that the recursive function that calculates her mass overflows"

[calzoneman]

-nope, fp refuses to link images correctly-

[AlienCat]

You know you are a bad programmer when the console says "Goodbye, world!"

[DrLuke]

[QUOTE=AlienCat;36385696]You know you are a bad programmer when the console says "Goodbye, world!"[/QUOTE]

Goodbye, AlienCat!

[pepin180]

A woman asks her programmer husband:
-Go to the shop and buy a loaf and if there are eggs, buy a dozen.
a few minutes later her husband arrives home with twelve loaves and say "they had eggs"

edit:
oops, i think i read it here :tinfoil:

[Falcqn]

<Wizarth> As long as I'm not an std::vector

[True Valhalla]

tr { transform: rotate(180deg); }

It seems the tables have been turned.

[Cockman]

A programmer walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Eyyyyyyyyy, look what we have here?"
They started discussing politics and then it happens. Pow! Right through the door! Haha wow! Holy crap!

[Smashmaster]

[QUOTE=pepin180;36388431]A woman asks her programmer husband:
-Go to the shop and buy a loaf and if there are eggs, buy a dozen.
a few minutes later her husband arrives home with twelve loaves and say "they had eggs"

edit:
oops, i think i read it here :tinfoil:[/QUOTE]

Wouldn't that be 13 loaves?

[Goz3rr]

[QUOTE=Smashmaster;36439030]Wouldn't that be 13 loaves?[/QUOTE]

if (hasEggs)
    return 12;
else
    return 1;

[Smashmaster]

[QUOTE=Goz3rr;36439039]

if (hasEggs)
    return 12;
else
    return 1;

[/QUOTE]

Nope. That's not how it's written.

buyLoaves(1);
if (hasEggs) buyLoaves(12);
return;

Also, this implies that he makes two stops at the cash register.

[Cockman]

A little long joke one of my professional programming friends who program for a living and hobby.(they are experts, and this joke is very witty, so if you don't like very smart jokes, don't even bother reading the following, because it's that good.)

A programmer enters a sauna. He has an erect penis (please bear this in mind).
Another programmer enters the sauna, and they begin to discuss polymorphism and how interesting of a concept it is. Then one programmer bluntly asks "Is your penis.....ahem..(straightens chesthair)...erect?"
The other programmer is shocked....he is disgusted. An argument ensues, and the programmer kills the other programmer with a hand-made nail he quickly assembled from a broken pipe near the tub in defense. I guess you can say the programmer had a little "for" loop! Hhehe.

[Zyx]

[QUOTE=Cockman;36444260]A little long joke one of my professional programming friends who program for a living and hobby.(they are experts, and this joke is very witty, so if you don't like very smart jokes, don't even bother reading the following, because it's that good.)

A programmer enters a sauna. He has an erect penis (please bear this in mind).
Another programmer enters the sauna, and they begin to discuss polymorphism and how interesting of a concept it is. Then one programmer bluntly asks "Is your penis.....ahem..(straightens chesthair)...erect?"
The other programmer is shocked....he is disgusted. An argument ensues, and the programmer kills the other programmer with a hand-made nail he quickly assembled from a broken pipe near the tub in defense. I guess you can say the programmer had a little "for" loop! Hhehe.[/QUOTE]

Nope. Not getting it.
Guy A kills guy B with a hand-mad nail in self defense, because B asked if As penis was erect right?
Now, does A or B have a little "for" loop? And what does it mean anyway?

[flayne]

[QUOTE=Cockman;36444260]A little long joke one of my professional programming friends who program for a living and hobby.(they are experts, and this joke is very witty, so if you don't like very smart jokes, don't even bother reading the following, because it's that good.)

A programmer enters a sauna. He has an erect penis (please bear this in mind).
Another programmer enters the sauna, and they begin to discuss polymorphism and how interesting of a concept it is. Then one programmer bluntly asks "Is your penis.....ahem..(straightens chesthair)...erect?"
The other programmer is shocked....he is disgusted. An argument ensues, and the programmer kills the other programmer with a hand-made nail he quickly assembled from a broken pipe near the tub in defense. I guess you can say the programmer had a little "for" loop! Hhehe.[/QUOTE]

How can you have a hand-made nail? What did an iron mold just happen to be right next to him along with some molten iron?