Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark
1,291 replies, posted
[code]/* no comment */[/code]
[QUOTE=mobrockers2;38883928]Too sophisticated for me, I don't get it :c.[/QUOTE]
Destructor of worlds. [sp]Or destroyer, if you'd like it to sound more awesome.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Chris220;38884208]Destructor of worlds. [sp]Or destroyer, if you'd like it to sound more awesome.[/sp][/QUOTE]
Oh I got that part, I just don't understand the comment part, which I assume is a key part of the joke.
[QUOTE=mobrockers2;38885028]Oh I got that part, I just don't understand the comment part, which I assume is a key part of the joke.[/QUOTE]
[url=http://ghostbusters.wikia.com/wiki/Gozer]Gozer[/url] - destroyer of worlds and spawner of the giant Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.
[QUOTE=Deco Da Man;38886651][url=http://ghostbusters.wikia.com/wiki/Gozer]Gozer[/url] - destroyer of worlds and spawner of the giant Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.[/QUOTE]
God damnit, why do I always forget those things :c
[QUOTE=Deco Da Man;38886651][url=http://ghostbusters.wikia.com/wiki/Gozer]Gozer[/url] - destroyer of worlds and spawner of the giant Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.[/QUOTE]
Who summoned me?
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI
[QUOTE=mobrockers2;38686257]It's called 'fence' or cardinal sign in Dutch.[/QUOTE]
I nearly punched my sister for saying: "Is C [I]hekje[/I] a programming tool?".
[QUOTE=ToXiCsoldier;39116678]I nearly punched my sister for saying: "Is C [I]hekje[/I] a programming tool?".[/QUOTE]
But you instead helped her increase her interest in programming, right?
A programmer walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve gays in this bar." The programmer responds in a sexual undertone, "I like your muscles". The bartender becomes infuriated and quickly equips his shotgun pointed directly at the programmer's head. "Any last words?" the bartender asks the doomed programmer. "I'm gay!". The bartender pulls the trigger and blows the programmer's head into millions of bite-sized pieces. The bar is entirely saturated with blood and coated with brain fragments. The bartender then says "..what a fag."
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Worst joke I've read." - Swebonny))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=Cockman;39248645]A programmer walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve gays in this bar." The programmer responds in a sexual undertone, "I like your muscles". The bartender becomes infuriated and quickly equips his shotgun pointed directly at the programmer's head. "Any last words?" the bartender asks the doomed programmer. "I'm gay!". The bartender pulls the trigger and blows the programmer's head into millions of bite-sized pieces. The bar is entirely saturated with blood and coated with brain fragments. The bartender then says "..what a fag."[/QUOTE]
Other than the fag is a programmer, how is this programming-related?
[QUOTE=Cockman;39248645]A programmer walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve gays in this bar." The programmer responds in a sexual undertone, "I like your muscles". The bartender becomes infuriated and quickly equips his shotgun pointed directly at the programmer's head. "Any last words?" the bartender asks the doomed programmer. "I'm gay!". The bartender pulls the trigger and blows the programmer's head into millions of bite-sized pieces. The bar is entirely saturated with blood and coated with brain fragments. The bartender then says "..what a fag."[/QUOTE]
Yet another excellent example of a truly smart joke[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1160557&p=36444260&viewfull=1#post36444260"].[/URL]
He's obviously trolling, just report and move on.
public static int getRandomNumber()
{
return 4;//Chosen by a fair dice roll. Guaranteed to be random.
}
[QUOTE=Megolas;39293373]public static int getRandomNumber()
{
return 4;//Chosen by a fair dice roll. Guaranteed to be random.
}[/QUOTE]
Older than time itself.
Still, had to be mentioned
[QUOTE=Megolas;39293529]Still, had to be mentioned[/QUOTE]
In case anyone here happened not to read XKCD?
I'm such a shit programmer. Every program I compile is a joke. I mean, they're all just shitty one-liners.
[QUOTE=Darwin226;39117259]But you instead helped her increase her interest in programming, right?[/QUOTE]
Not yet, i rather keep my "Family PC-Expert"-Title to myself :)
"A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, "I know, I'll solve it with threads!". has Now problems. two he"
"Save the environment: use [I]continuation[/I] passing style!"
[QUOTE=NilsFG;39353084]"A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, "I know, I'll solve it with threads!". has Now problems. two he"[/QUOTE]
This is genius.
I'm sorry if this isn't tied in with programming well enough, but I nearly bust a gut while reading.
[URL="https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/ed.msg"]https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/ed.msg[/URL]
There are some other great jokes [url=http://www.gnu.org/fun/humor.html]here[/url]
[URL="http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/declarations.html"]http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/declarations.html[/URL]
[URL="http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/helloworld.html"]http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/helloworld.html[/URL]
[QUOTE=Z_guy;39419693]I got inspired and wrote this piece of art
[cpp]#include <iostream>
#define asDF static
#define aSDF const
#define aSDf sizeof
#define aSdF namespace
#define ASDF struct
aSdF asdf{
typedef void AsDF;
typedef char asdf;
asDF aSDF asdf Asdf=1<<5;
asDF aSDF asdf aSdf=Asdf+1;
asDF aSDF asdf asDf=(Asdf<<1)+aSdf/3-3;
asDF aSDF asdf asdF=~(asdf)((Asdf-4)*6);
asDF aSDF asdf ASdf=(aSdf<<2)-aSdf+1;
asDF aSDF asdf AsDf=ASdf+1;
asDF aSDF asdf AsdF=Asdf/4+ASdf;
asDF aSDF asdf ASDf=(aSdf+4)*3;
asDF aSDF asdf ASdF=asDf+asDf-Asdf+2;
}
aSdF Asdf{
asDF aSDF asdf::asdf asdf[]={
asdf::asDf,asdf::AsDf,asdf::AsdF,asdf::AsdF,asdf::ASDf,asdf::Asdf,asdf::asdF,asdf::ASDf,asdf::ASdF,asdf::AsdF,asdf::ASdf,asdf::aSdf};
}
aSdF aSdf{
ASDF asdf{
::asdf::AsDF asDf(aSDF ::asdf::asdf*asdf){if(asdf!=Asdf::asdf)asDf(asdf-1);std::cout<<*asdf;}
};
}
asdf::AsDF main(){
aSdf::asdf asdf;
asdf.asDf(&Asdf::asdf[(aSDf(Asdf::asdf)/aSDf(asdf::asdf))-1]);
}[/cpp]
[sp]It prints "Hello World!"[/sp][/QUOTE]
Oh dear god, my sides. Did you write this using the normal operators and then use search/replace or can you actually keep track of all of that?
[QUOTE=Rayjingstorm;39419970]Oh dear god, my sides. Did you write this using the normal operators and then use search/replace or can you actually keep track of all of that?[/QUOTE]
It kind of evolved, the first version was pretty readable, I just named things weird.
Then I started obfuscating it more and more.
I could keep pretty good track of it until I added the #define's, after that it just became a mess.
It's February again :D
The thread name now matches the month!
I'm gonna get wrecked for saying this...
Why do sin and tan work? just cos.
[QUOTE=bobiniki;39436436]It's February again :D
The thread name now matches the month![/QUOTE]
Give it a year, and itll do it again, I swear! Some people think I'm conspiring, but I say nope!
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Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark
