• Shit You'd Like To Confess V6: i don't actually eat as much ass as i say i do
    757 replies, posted
May I ask why, exactly?
That's a fair point, I guess I was looking at the full scope of what speedrunning had to offer rather than what I'd would or should get out of it.
Yeah, so was I. I was looking at games I had a fair shot of achievement in but then realising I'd never push myself to that level made me not want to bother anymore. But it was a bit of fun on the journey, all those moments of runs dieing and then getting a run you're happy with is a good feeling. Speedrunning should start as a hobby always, and then naturally you'll figure out how far you want to take it
Why what? Why did I stop taking medication? It did nothing for me, never worked, I've tried every medication you can imagine, all types of combinations, and they often led to more issues (several suicide attempts) than they resolved (none). Why am I unable to keep a social life? Because I hate being in the physical presence of people, I hate talking in general (not just to people, but just the entire action of speaking is something I hate), and I absolutely hate physical contact. Haven't touched another person in as long as I can remember, don't shake hands with people, don't hug family, etc. Why do I hate being in the physical presence of people? I get easily agitated, and generally don't like talking about myself, I hate being touched, or even having someone in my space. I get really uncomfortable in any social environment where I have people close to me in any sense. Why have I given up? Because the majority of my life I've been depressed, and it's constant, every time I met someone I actually connected with I did something suuuuuuper stupid to ruin it (which is also part of why I don't like socializing). I've tried a lot of different things in terms of socializing, but I usually just end up becoming my old reclusive introverted self because change = SPOOK. Not sure what else I can cover here, exactly.
I'm a huge god damn slut that loves exhibitionism, but I secretly wish I could be in a monogamous relationship and actually believe that someone loved me.
I personally found speedrunning to be really fun when I find a game that I really liked playing, but doesn't have an extensive speedrunning community already based around it. It's alright to have some people trying their hand, but not enough such that the game is already blown wide open - this means you get the fun of glitch-hunting, routing and optimising a run you made yourself instead of just following a guide someone made and hoping you get an arbitrary position on the leaderboard. Well, that depends on what you find fun in the first place, but for me the satisfaction of pulling off a run - that I'd designed like 75% of - near-perfectly massively outweighs the desire to get a world record. It's basically getting more bang for your buck on games you already love and getting to "complete" them all over again.
As unlikely as it seems, someone probably does care about you for more than your body. Love is difficult for everyone especially considering after how it's been painted by culture as everyone will meet their soulmate and live happily ever after. It's simply not the truth, some of us may never actually find love but it will only drag you down if you let it. Life is something great shared but it isn't the only thing to it. You gotta find the rest and give life purpose. Keep trying though you just might end up with someone at some point but also make sure you're doing other things that make you happy.
Well, I do enjoy the stuff I do, and I do find comfort with people that I do think care about me for more than my body, it just happens to be with several someones. I don't know. I just don't see how someone could think I could fulfill everything for them? None of my partners to me (and granted, I haven't been with any of them longer than 2 months (maybe 3 for one???) would satisfy everything I want out of a partner. I don't think it is wrong to be polyamorous, or a fault in anyone's character, I just wish I could be monogamous. Maybe it is just society ingraining their stupid morality on me, but it just seems like I'm not a good enough person for any of them, and always wish I could be better/more.
No that diamond was intentional, your reply was really helpful for putting what seemed stupidly impossible into a better perspective for how to try and start rather than thinking it'd be pointless to start.
Sometimes I feel tempted to try fapping 60+ times in a row and test if I could survive it or not.
only 60+? weak try this one on for size https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/57909/af6d4992-f553-47f5-ab43-bc3b19656998/image.png
When brushing my wisdom teeth I sometimes end up triggering my gag reflex since its really sensitive for some reason. Gagging while brushing your teeth is not fun.
considering there are 86400 seconds in a day, on the 28th you would need to nut 3.7 times a second
i nut 7 times a second
demonstrate
Every damn time someone here starts talking about how many times he faps a day my manhood is severely compromised
Mind is racing and now I'm questioning if I actually exist again
Once I got a loan phone when mine was broke. I took some 'pictures' with it to send to a friend, and then the phone stopped working and wouldnt charge, so I had to hand it back without being able to take the pictures off. They were crossdressing pictures from like 6 years ago, so it was always funny imagining someone thinking 'oh yeah' and taking the pictures without realising. Thats more funny to me than embarrassing at this point looking back
I know sometimes couples have their spats rarely, but this one with my folks was the scariest. I felt very terrified of being in the middle of all this bitterness.
can relate, my parents don't often get into arguments, but they get very toxic when it occurs to the point everyone's silent afterwards, and it feels eerie
Why the fuck do I always have a crush on someone that will never want me
It may be because you have self worth issues, you mask them by striving towards a goal that is unattainable. All so, if you fail you tell yourself it would have never worked out to begin with. Success is a difficult thing, some of us wouldn't know what to do with it when we get it. Most of us are dogs chasing cars, we don't know what we'll do when we get it but we want it regardless. This is just a theory, sorry if it offends you in any way. You may very well be a stable individual. You may be able to see an entire life with this person planned out to a T. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist.
I mean I'm not worth shit so you're not wrong lmao
I suggest reaching out to someone. Take stock of your faults. Then think about the things you're good at, I'm sure there's something. Think of the cause of these feelings, try your best to understand that your past does not dictate your future. I wish you luck, as I do to everyone in here.
After months of loneliness, I installed tinder a week ago, got a match 4 hours ago. Haven't wrote anything yet. What's wrong with me?
A braver man than I to even get as far as you have. Somewhat related. I have only been on one date in my entire life and it ended in one of the worst ways I can imagine, in the emergency room. It was setup by my older sister, with one of her long time friends who apparently had a crush on me. I was 15 years old and so was she. We went to a movie theater and saw ?something? I don't remember the name of the movie so it was probably really boring. We then walked a nearby mall, just checking out stores, she was pretty edgy (not that I really had a problem with it, I kinda found it cute) so we spent a lot of time inside spencers and hot topic. I couldn't really make any conversation, we didn't share any interests so I just listened to her talk for a few hours which wasn't bad, she had a lot of jokes. Stopped by a relatives house and had a barbecue. So it was a pretty okay day at that point but then I came down with some serious migraine. One of the most vivid memories from that night was I was sitting in the back of my friends car while he was driving us to an arcade where we were gonna hang out with some other people, I yelled at him to pull over quick and before he could slow down to pull over I had the window down and started throwing up. Migraine intensified tenfold and got taken to an emergency room where they gave me some sort of pain reliever that put me to sleep nearly instantly. Docs didn't figure out what caused it. Apparently she stayed with me the whole time, til I got dropped off at my house. I honestly couldn't remember because by that point I was delirious. and that's basically how it went, all in all it wasn't bad, except that last hour or so. We talked quite a bit later by phone/text but I ended up finding out about a week later that I'd be moving from Louisiana to south Texas and neither of us wanted a long distance relationship. So at least the date didn't go too well cause it would have sucked to lose my first girlfriend a week after getting with her. I have not asked anyone to a date, nor accepted an invite (I have only been asked twice more in no unsure terms, and maybe a few more times vaguely like the "you wanna go eat somewhere" type.) and I don't really think I ever will but that's for totally different reasons related to my fear of intimacy. this post ended up longer than what I intended and I've been meaning to delete it because I didn't really feel like posting it but if I put this much effort in I might as well.
I finally managed to apologise to my ex for being a shitty boyfriend after a couple years of stewing She didn't accept it, which I can hardly blame her for, but she acknowledged it and I feel immeasurably happier for myself
Each time I've had sex was a mistake that fucked up friendships and I wish I was still a virgin
i had some weird burnout a few years ago where I tried super hard to find dates, hurt myself over it, never found anything and then just... I dunno? I haven't bothered since. I think I was so over it that it legitimately burned out in my head. I havent bothered to look for anyone in years and its been a passive thing, not an active thing. It's like I came to terms with being single indefinitely.
Ah shit. My dad's in the hospital, and I'm getting all my information secondhand from someone who has no idea what they're talking about so I'm playing a dangerous game of telephone with an idiot. Something super bad with his heart, two arteries near/in his heart are at serious risk. Something something ?embolism? Doctors said that he shouldn't even laugh or he'd risk death. They're gonna try lowering his blood pressure today then operating on him tomorrow. He's been complaining that he got sores on his feet and a pain in his chest and I TOLD HIM FOUR FLIPPING DAYS AGO AND EVERY DAY SINCE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. What if he had died in his bed? His excuse was "I'm scared if they tell me it's something bad.", I'm so annoyed I don't know what to do. He's gonna have heart surgery tomorrow and I'm disconcerted and nothing more, I can't afford the day off work to go see him today so I'm feeling disappointed in myself. I don't know if I'm in shock or if I don't care though, and that kind of scares me.
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