• Ask a Janitor Anything.
    979 replies, posted
How's it going with the teacher?
Q: Do you consider yourself to be the eyes and ears of the institution you work at? A: Janitors know more about what kids are doing and saying than their own parents or counselor. Nearly all the janitors I have worked with, or talked to are modern day philosophers in my book. If you ever have the chance, talk to your local janitor. Q: do you sneak around like solid snake under a cardboard box after school? A: No, but I do sneak around sometimes, staying in the shadows when the GED students take there late night classes. They never caught me :smug: Q: What was your worse day as a custodian or computer technician in your school? A: Halloweens and April fools day are the worst days. For both. Teachers would report fake tech problems and say April fools. Of course I know they don't have a problem, but they can complain to the school board that i'm not doing my job. And Halloween kids throw candy all over the place. Gum sucks. Q: You see a kid smoking bud in the bathroom, would you join him knowing you would be safe? A: I usually wait until after school hours. Even if it was safe, i'll just hold on to his J until after school. Q: Do you hate kids who drop their rubbish on the playground? A: Not anymore than any other person who drops trash anywhere. Although, I do put a stricter enforcing behind it. We only have one Earth. Q: Do you have a good bin-to-child ratio? A: Yes, we have a trash bin in every room, on both ends and middle of the halls. About 7 big trash bins in the lunchroom. Q: I regularly do rather illegal activities on my school computers, including getting into staff accounts and using them to browse youtube, running .bat files that fuck up the computer, deleting shit that annoys the IT guy...And I've never been caught or even approached. Why? Is he building a case up against me? Or he is really that much of a dumb shit he can't connect the dots? A: They are probably just idiots or they probably don't have a dedicated server to log in all activities. Not many schools do that. But, they do set up a strict firewall. If you can get into a teachers/admin account, they are probably just horrible tech people. Q: What's the strangest thing you've ever seen someone looking at on the computers? A: Hentai, tentaclel porn. I knew who it was too. It was one of the teachers sons. Q: Have you blocked the ability to execute .bat files? A: Yes. Only for the student accounts. Q: Do you record every single keystroke, including passwords people enter on websites? Have you ever used this information to get back at someone you hate? A: Nope. Q: What should I do if my Computers teacher has repeatedly said I'm above and beyond his capabilities, and all we're doing this entire year in a 100 hour course is making a website, a few slide shows and a few flyers using Microsoft Office? I would play games / browse Myspace/Facebook when I finish, but he has some gay monitoring software that he's constantly watching from his desk. How do I disable this software? A: Do more advanced work for extra credit. It will also look good if you are going to apply to a college. You need to get your hands on to an admin account. manage to find the server domain database. Shuffle through all the teacher accounts until you find hers, and delete it. It should take a couple hours judging by what you've told me about your tech team. Q: What is the best way to clean my lcd monitor screen? A: You can buy some specific cleaning material for it at best buy. DO NOT use windex/window cleaner. It will fuck it up, even if it is glass. It will leave a resado on it that when light hits it, you'll see a rainbow reflection. I find that, warm water on tissue paper works fine. make sure to let the paper dry rinse and dry for 3 minutes. Its difficult for water to cry on glassy surfaces or matte surfaces. Q: How was your date with Amy? Also, how was the movie last night? On a scale of 1 (worst. movie. ever) to 10 (Holy hell, this should win a shitload of Oscars), how well was it? A: It was great to be honest. The movie sold so she suggested that we have dinner at her house. She made the best felafel I have ever had. We watched Joe Dirt and I thought of you guys. Q: Do any of the science teachers ask you to go and pick up a pound of marijuana for medical studies? Is your favourite janitorial snack an Abba Zabba ? A: No, and Yes i have tried Abba Zabba. Awesome candy. Q: Are you usually the last person inside the school before you lock up or are there other janitors working at the school? Also if not, have you ever stay in the school overnight? A: I'm the last and yes, winters get really brutal here and I live far away from the school. I have slept in before. I usually get a couple of gym mats, stack them, and I keep spare sheets in my office. I go to the boiler room and turn up the heat to 75 degrees and sleep in principles office. He has a HDTV in there. Q: How's it going with the teacher? A: Good, she put her hand on my lap when watching the movie, but thats as far as it went. She said she had a great time, but isn't that what they always say?
Do you do any groundskeeping, or do you have gardeners and stuff for that? Also, if you do tend to the outdoor areas, do you have any relatively big machinery? Out my highschool we had a tractor/digger thing and a steamroller for the cricket pitch.
Well at my school there were kids who smeared their shit literally on the wall and toliet, what would you do in that position?
Have you ever seen women undressed in the womans bathroom? If so what did you do?
Q: Do you do any groundskeeping, or do you have gardeners and stuff for that? Also, if you do tend to the outdoor areas, do you have any relatively big machinery? A: Yes, during the summer I do landscaping with a couple of students. I give them a portion of my paycheck to help me out. During the summer, the school rents out huge industrial lawn mowers, weed wackers, regular lawn mowers, gasoline, and trash bags. Q: Well at my school there were kids who smeared their shit literally on the wall and toliet, what would you do in that position? A: Suck it up and clean it. Q: Have you ever seen women undressed in the womans bathroom? If so what did you do? A: I told a story about it on page 16. or post #629
Have you ever a man undressed in the mans bathroom?
[QUOTE=Suttles;20323370]Have you ever a man undressed in the mans bathroom?[/QUOTE] Yes.
[QUOTE=GhostxNote;20323328]Q: Well at my school there were kids who smeared their shit literally on the wall and toliet, what would you do in that position? A: [b]Suck it up and clean it.[/b][/QUOTE] Eeeeew :v:
What was it like
just read all 18 pages of this. good times. good luck with amy mate.
[QUOTE=GhostxNote;20322843] Q: How's it going with the teacher? A: Good, she put her hand on my lap when watching the movie, but thats as far as it went. She said [b]he[/b] had a great time, but isn't that what they always say?[/QUOTE] :ohdear:
Ever had kids stay after to do community service for you? If so, how much did they fuck up?
[QUOTE=GhostxNote;20323328] Q: Well at my school there were kids who smeared their shit literally on the wall and toliet, what would you do in that position? A: Suck it up and clean it. [/QUOTE] what does it taste like?
[QUOTE=Septimas;20315877][U][B]I strongly think this is a troll thread from the way he shows himself avoiding every single possible way to show that he actually is a janitor. Blur your face in the janitor uniform, and i may have incentive to believe you.[/B][/U][/QUOTE] Yes, i'm sure that it is many trolls life goal to pretend to be a janitor on facepunch [/sarcasm] Q. seeing as you manage some computers, did you ever rick roll anyone at school? One time me and a couple of friends set the homepage of all the browsers to the really annoying rick roll that moves around the screen and when you cross it out popups show the lyrics, luckily, the teachers assumed the students where going to the site on purpose, so they got in trouble XD
You are my hero.
Seeing's how we're coming back from vacation on Monday, will you be able to reply to this thread from the school? Assuming you're not too busy cleaning up after those sick fuckers who shit everywhere
Has anyone ever played a prank on you?
Q) How'd you like Shutter Island? I went and saw it last night with my girlfriend and thought it was wonderful. However; I was disappointed that it seemed to be advertised as a ghost/scary movie.
Q: ever found any shotguns, shell casings or anything gun related in your school while cleaning? if not, what would you do if you found gun related stuff?
Do people fuck in the Bathrooms?
Have you ever needed to... ahem "Relieve yourself" during your daily stint as a janitor?
Maybe one day we can be father and son.
Q: what does it taste like? A: I dont know, but I could imagine bitter. Q: seeing as you manage some computers, did you ever rick roll anyone at school? One time me and a couple of friends set the homepage of all the browsers to the really annoying rick roll that moves around the screen and when you cross it out popups show the lyrics, luckily, the teachers assumed the students where going to the site on purpose, so they got in trouble XD A: Yes, I have pulled pranks on kids before. There was this kid in particular who always gave me shit. One day i found out where he sat and logged in to the computer next to him. Fired up word and wrote in pt 72 font. I HATE JEWS. The kid next to him was indeed Jewish and told the teacher. The kid got saterday school for 4 months straight, waking up at 7am -3pm. Q: Seeing's how we're coming back from vacation on Monday, will you be able to reply to this thread from the school? Assuming you're not too busy cleaning up after those sick fuckers who shit everywhere A: Yes I will find time, but don't think i'm ignoring you guys if i don't respond after a while : ( Q: Has anyone ever played a prank on you? A: Plenty. There was one time where this student hid a hot dog in my office. I couldn't find it anywhere. Found out it was in my computer. Janitor related, I think half the shit I clean up are pranks. Q: How'd you like Shutter Island? I went and saw it last night with my girlfriend and thought it was wonderful. However; I was disappointed that it seemed to be advertised as a ghost/scary movie. A: The movie sold out so she suggested that we have dinner at her house. She made the best felafel I have ever had. We watched Joe Dirt and I thought of you guys. Q: ever found any shotguns, shell casings or anything gun related in your school while cleaning? if not, what would you do if you found gun related stuff? A: I have never found a gun in school before. I have found other weapons but no sign of guns. I did find a necklace with a 12 Gauge Shotgun shell as the Charm attached to it. I would tell the police. Q: Do people fuck in the Bathrooms? A: I'm not sure about sex, but i have walked in on one blow job. Q: Have you ever needed to... ahem "Relieve yourself" during your daily stint as a janitor? A: Yes. Q: Maybe one day we can be father and son. A: Someday.
Q.) Ever steal anything from your school?
Are there a lot of people at that school which are into tentacle porn? :tinfoil:
Ever yell at a teacher?
Vintage, Legacy, Standard, Casual or Highlander?
[QUOTE=Hoboharry;20325807]Are there a lot of people at that school which are into tentacle porn? :tinfoil:[/QUOTE] Yes, we all want to know...
How many times have you been called to clean up something during a class like a kid throwing up on the floor or bleeding or something?
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