• Uwe Boll Movie Marathon : Gentlemen, prepare for shitness
    63 replies, posted
[code][b]Watched so far: Far Cry 2/5 POSTAL 2.5/5 Stoic 3.5/5 [/b][/code] Well, we're a few days into the marathon, but this is what I'm doing: [highlight]I'm going to watch every Uwe Boll movie I can get my hands on [/highlight] [img]http://terminallaughter.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/uweboll2.jpg[/img] That's right, supposed German Uber-Hack Uwe Boll, infamous for his game to film adaptations. Surely he can't be as bad as everyone says? My theory is that most people have just based their opinion of him on raging internet nerds, so I'll give him a chance. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It started with [highlight]Far Cry[/highlight] (2008) [img]http://www.reelcomix.com/admin/admin_images/121797544457512700.jpg[/img] Now if your memory is as good as mine, you'll think : Hang on, wasn't this set on a tropic island somewhere? And not in a FUCKING LOGGING FACTORY? Other than that, it's not godawful, as I was shocked to find out. The acting is decent, mainly from Til Schweiger (An Inglourious Basterd!) and there's some nice scenes by Boll. The story is, of course, utter bollocks, but you can't blame Boll for that. Overall it's a good dumb film to see with friends or when extremely drunk I guess, [b]2/5 stars.[/b] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Then, on the 23rd of November, it was the one we'd all been waiting for : [highlight]POSTAL[/highlight] [img]http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0019BI12I.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg[/img] OK, here's the thing about POSTAL : If you haven't played Postal 2, then there's not much point watching this (and even if you have played it, there's still little point) What really surprised me about this film was Uwe Boll's pretty funny cameo as himself, which I won't spoil for you: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z7UDHPWsvk[/media] This and the following shoot out scene (In which lots of kids are shot by Boll) are by far the funniest parts of the film, so if [sp]paedophile[/sp] jokes and child murder are your sort of thing, you might get a few chuckles out of it. Overall, the film drags on for far too long, and could have done with about 20 minutes cut from the end, but overall, it's nowhere near as awful as you may think, and is about a million times more entertaining than pretentious bullshit like [i]Juno [/i]or[i] Synecdoche, New York[/i] [b]2.5/5 (watch with friends)[/b] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On the 24th, it was [highlight]Stoic[/highlight], one of Uwe Boll's non-videogame translations and boy did it surprise me. [img]http://www.filmjunk.com/images/weblog/2009/06/stoictrailer.jpg[/img] Set in a small prison cell, four men play a game of poker that leads to increasingly violent acts on the loser. The film's dialogue was improvised and it really adds to the atmosphere. The directing is also solid and this is by far Boll's best film I've seen so far. It's not really one you'll watch with friends, mainly to due a [sp]graphic rape scene involving a broom handle [/sp] but it's definitely worth a rental and it makes it all the more difficult for me to go back to his game-to-film stuff, at least until a DVD of Rampage comes out. [b]3.5/5[/b] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [b]Tonight's Movie : House of the Dead[/b] Oh god [img]http://media.linkara.com/_images_/verticales/e/0/3/d/imagen_chris_coppola_0102_0.jpg[/img] Bonus fat guy comic relief in the form of Chris Copolla in both Far Cry and Postal! I'm starting to warm to this guy
Farcry looks like a good movie. Seen the trailer. Looks awesome. Maybe the best projects that Boll have done? Disagree if you disagree.
[QUOTE=tomatmann;18523797]Farcry looks like a good movie. Seen the trailer. Looks awesome. Maybe the best projects that Boll have done?[/QUOTE] What are you talking about
I thought Postal was kind of funny though.
[QUOTE=tomatmann;18523797]Farcry looks like a good movie. Seen the trailer. Looks awesome. Maybe the best projects that Boll have done?[/QUOTE] That movie was stupid in alot of ways. Uwe Boll gets good ideas from alot of works of art and ruins them with his mind.
[QUOTE=Nintendo-Guy;18523802]What are you talking about[/QUOTE] I haven't seen the movie yet. But the trailer looks good I said.
[QUOTE=jr059375;18523809]I thought Postal was kind of funny though.[/QUOTE] I only really found the beginning funny
Yo
[QUOTE=phill977;18523810]That movie was stupid in alot of ways. Uwe Boll gets good ideas from alot of works of art and ruins them with his mind.[/QUOTE] Hahahahahaha! You think Far Cry is art. Or any game Uwe Boll has made a movie out of.
[QUOTE=tomatmann;18523797]Farcry looks like a good movie. Seen the trailer. Looks awesome. Maybe the best projects that Boll have done? Disagree if you disagree.[/QUOTE] yeah a 2/5 would be Boll's best work.
Apparently his newest, Rampage (Not a game to film) is quite decent. The rest look utter shit. Oh god, Bloodrayne :psypop:
The Postal movie was pretty shit.
I'm [sp]not[/sp] looking forward to it
Actually, all of Uwe Boll movies sucks.
Postal was actually a bit good...
omg it's the nazi hunter
Oh god, I watched that farcry trailer and it ruined farcry for me. Also it was filmed in my city. I can't get the stench off of me! :byodood:
I liked Postal, it was random and it made me laugh, it had a lot of violence too and naked girls, count out the naked guys. All that I need (excluding the naked guys).
Postal was definitely his best film. I should buy Postal, but its impossible to find (I wonder why?).
If more games were about pointless violence then maybe Uwe Boll will finally start making some good movies.
Bloodrayne. :suicide:
You should do it and raise money and whatever you can get give it to him if he agrees to stop making movies.
[QUOTE=jcallan;18523789] [b]Tonight's Movie : POSTAL![/b] Set phasers to shit![/QUOTE] [img]http://episteme.arstechnica.com/eve/forums/a/ga/ul/638007918931/inlineimg/Y/Spider.jpeg[/img] Yessir. [editline]11:14AM[/editline] [QUOTE=quinaking;18524361]You should do it and raise money and whatever you can get give it to him if he agrees to stop making movies.[/QUOTE] He challenges critics to boxing fights, get a heavyweight boxer to make a bad review.
Uwe Boll huh? Or to be more specific, the "Hey, when I'm making a 'scary' movie, I use huge gun fights to scare the audience, instead of using things that are remotely scary"-guy.
Wait 'till you see Alone in the Dark...
[QUOTE=Blisster;18524526]Wait 'till you see Alone in the Dark...[/QUOTE] [url]http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/11343-alone[/url] So he doesn't have to go through that hell :ohdear:
[QUOTE=DarkSpirit05er;18524313]I liked Postal, it was random and it made me laugh, it had a lot of violence too and naked girls, count out the naked guys. All that I need (excluding the naked guys).[/QUOTE] Insecure
I liked the Postal movie.
The only two Uwe Boll movies i've watched are Far Cry and Postal, so i don't know much about how shitty his movies really are. Far Cry was crap, but still somewhat watchable. Postal was fucking hilarious though. Maybe you'll like it, maybe not, it depends a lot on your sense of humor.
[QUOTE=jcallan;18523789] [b]The story is, of course, utter bollocks, but you can't blame Boll for that.[/b][/QUOTE] Um...yes we can. He messed the story of the game up so yeah it is his fault.
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