• Facepunch Medical Thread V1 (I don't need a doctor it's not that bad)
    2,432 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Craptasket;31429233]One of my testicle is larger than the other two. [editline]30th July 2011[/editline] help[/QUOTE] It means one of your testicles has began to dominate the other 2, Generally this means that your testicles are starting to rebel against you and are looking for a new leader. You can solve this issue either with violence or politics. But i personally would recommend violence since it works much better. I say you punch the big one really hard so the smaller ones wont start shit with you.
[QUOTE=Yzooo;31444851]I think I may have a serious case of the fats, any cure people?[/QUOTE] On the topic of being fat, I just remembered about doctors experimenting with a cure for type 2 diabetes. The study was "They put 11 people — nine diabetic men and two women who averaged 227 pounds — on a 600-calorie-a-day diet that consisted of weight-loss shakes and starch-free vegetables." You'd probably want to do some exercise along side it, not too much though since you might die from exhaustion with that little food. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gJ4K6MUfXCk/Tc3M0aJt4cI/AAAAAAAAAFA/fqrAP_FevEk/s1600/the_more_you_know.jpg[/img]
I'm on a quest to find an experienced doctor. How do I proceed?
What is restless leg sydrome? It's the complete opposite to what it actually sounds like. When I heard "Restless leg syndrome" I was thinking, "What, you do the russian break dance uncontrollably?"
[QUOTE=Chekko;31445951]I'm on a quest to find an experienced doctor. How do I proceed?[/QUOTE] [url]www.facepunch.com[/url]
The iron bar coming out of my leg hurts a bit. What should I do FP????
I have a urinary tract infection What do I do?
[QUOTE=SCopE5000;31430805]I sweat whenever I eat, even ice cream.[/QUOTE] It could be something with your blood sugar. Pay your local doctor a visit. I mean, you have cancer.
[QUOTE=PILLS HERE!;31450484]I have a urinary tract infection What do I do?[/QUOTE] eat cranberry shit and take UTI drugs
[QUOTE=Contag;31450677]eat cranberry shit and take UTI drugs[/QUOTE] I've been drinking cranberry shit for a while, and I still feel like I have to take a piss whenever I try to sleep.
[QUOTE=PILLS HERE!;31450484]I have a urinary tract infection What do I do?[/QUOTE] You need IV interferon. Just in case we will do a blood panel to confirm Lupus and do a Lumbar Puncture to check for infection. We need to do an inter cranial echo to check for micro tumours and start draining blood because your body can't process iron. Finally we will need to get an MRI, CT and PET scans of your joints to rule out rheumatoid arthritis. I'll warn you, you might have large cell lymphoma so we will blast your immune system.
I don't know what UTI drugs work the best. [editline]31st July 2011[/editline] Automerge :(
[QUOTE=PILLS HERE!;31450737]I don't know what UTI drugs work the best. [editline]31st July 2011[/editline] Automerge :([/QUOTE] antibiotics should do fine, fluoroquinolone is what people I know have used in the past if it doesn't go away you need to get an antibiotic drip because those bastards are being persistent.
[QUOTE=Contag;31450768]antibiotics should do fine, fluoroquinolone is what people I know have used in the pastif it doesn't go away you need to get an antibiotic drip because those bastards are being persistent.[/QUOTE] I'll try taking some ciprofloxacin in pill form. And if for some reason that doesn't work, I'll get myself reexamined by another doctor and make sure it's actually an UTI and not something else.
[QUOTE=PILLS HERE!;31450831]I'll try taking some ciprofloxacin in pill form. And if for some reason that doesn't work, I'll get myself reexamined by another doctor and make sure it's actually an UTI and not something else.[/QUOTE] Hopefully it's not chlamydia, gonorrhea, or interstitial cystitis. [editline]1st August 2011[/editline] (pretty rare though, probably just your usual uti)
Whenever its completely quiet, I hear a very loud high pitched *peep*, but while it sounds very loud, I can still easily hear soft things. It's as if this sound goes away when I hear something. is this normal and if not what to do?? [editline]31st July 2011[/editline] also last time I did a blood check because the doctor didnt really know what could be wrong with me. test came out fine, nothing weird. does this mean I'm probably clear from things like leukemia and diabetes, not that I'm afraid of having them, but I wonder if those things get checked as well in regular blood testing
Now this is definitely a thread I can get into, I do plan on going to medical school after I graduate from college (After I graduate from high school).
[QUOTE=Yzooo;31444978]When should I start seeing results?[/QUOTE] When you can see your toes.
"i have ocd and synthesia i suffer so much fuck" all this thread will be [editline]31st July 2011[/editline] I pooped blood
[QUOTE=iPope;31450726]You need IV interferon. Just in case we will do a blood panel to confirm Lupus and do a Lumbar Puncture to check for infection. We need to do an inter cranial echo to check for micro tumours and start draining blood because your body can't process iron. Finally we will need to get an MRI, CT and PET scans of your joints to rule out rheumatoid arthritis. I'll warn you, you might have large cell lymphoma so we will blast your immune system.[/QUOTE] Interferons are supposed to strengthen the immune system by triggering the release of protein kinase R, yet you want to blast his immune system. This would only neutralize things and we'd be back where we started. I elect that we do plasmapheresis on his penis instead.
I just visit the closest pokemon center, heals me right up
I have Exploding Head Syndrome. What do?
[QUOTE=BrQ;31453652]Whenever its completely quiet, I hear a very loud high pitched *peep*, but while it sounds very loud, I can still easily hear soft things. It's as if this sound goes away when I hear something. is this normal and if not what to do?? [editline]31st July 2011[/editline] also last time I did a blood check because the doctor didnt really know what could be wrong with me. test came out fine, nothing weird. does this mean I'm probably clear from things like leukemia and diabetes, not that I'm afraid of having them, but I wonder if those things get checked as well in regular blood testing[/QUOTE] Yes, they do. Your white blood cell count is checked. (If you had leukemia, your white blood cell count would be elevated.) It's also very easy for them to check your blood sugar for signs of diabetes or insulin resistance. So yes - you are clear from leukemia and diabetes. There are very obvious abnormalities in the blood that would indicate those two conditions, and they'd certainly notice if things weren't normal.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;31460289] So yes - you are clear from leukemia and diabetes. There are very obvious abnormalities in the blood that would indicate those two conditions, and they'd certainly notice if things weren't normal.[/QUOTE] Not entirely clear from leukemia though - my understanding is that it can be difficult to detect via a blood test in some cases.
[QUOTE=Contag;31460352]Not entirely clear from leukemia though - my understanding is that it can be difficult to detect via a blood test in some cases.[/QUOTE] They'd probably ask BrQ to come back for more tests if he had an abnormal white blood cell count, though. But you're right. An elevated white blood cell count can be indicative of a lot of things, not just leukemia, so I can see why it would be hard to diagnose a person from a simple blood test. If his white blood cell count is normal, you can say pretty much definitively that he doesn't have leukemia...or any number of infections that could cause an elevated white blood cell count, too.
I'm sure there's been leukemia which isn't indicated by an elevated wbc count in blood tests.
My jaw doesn't open wide enough to do the things I want to do with it, how do I make it open more [editline]31st July 2011[/editline] wow guys I mean eating large hamburgers you wierdos
help! i cant feal my arms..... and my legs are gone
[QUOTE=thenecronlord;31461618]help! i cant feal my arms..... and my legs are gone[/QUOTE] what? That's a sign of good health.
[QUOTE=shrinkme;31461655]what? That's a sign of good health.[/QUOTE] ok then. [editline]31st July 2011[/editline] oh wait but im koko for caca puffs
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