• An Embarrassing Encounter With the Female Kind
    146 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Archonet;26985969]THE MESSIAH! THE PASTAFARIAN THE TABLET OF NOODLES TOLD OF! *Bows*[/QUOTE] Ramen!
[QUOTE=phobia-_-;26986125]They were the same age[/QUOTE] The dad was as old as the daughter? Does not compute.
Hide in your room forever.
[QUOTE=Foobar;26986131]He was spanking her, not beating her, sorry for confusion lol[/QUOTE] Spanking is abuse as well. All physical pain and/or damage inflicted on a child is child abuse. Automerge :argh:
[QUOTE=Foobar;26986131]He was spanking her, not beating her, sorry for confusion lol[/QUOTE] For wanting to kiss someone? That's still horrible. Also emotionally.
[QUOTE=NIGHTHAWK365;26986148]Ramen![/QUOTE] Oh right, the tablet of ramen noodles, I apologize.
[QUOTE=Fatfatfatty;26986166]Spanking is abuse as well. All physical pain and/or damage inflicted on a child is child abuse. Automerge :argh:[/QUOTE] I guess when I spank my kid for breaking shit, and he/she knows what he/she is doing is wrong, I'll be sent to prison for child abuse.
[QUOTE=Foobar;26985988]When I was in the 7th grade, my dad had a close friend who would invite us over for dinner: cakes, pies, crawfish, fried fish, etc... One evening, after some really tasty gumbo that their mother had cooked, their daughter invited me to watch a movie with her in her room. After about halfway through the movie, the girl asked me, "Do you want to kiss?" Seeing as I didn't know what was going on, I cocked my head and said, "What?" After a few more minutes of watching the movie, the girl turns to me again, and asks the same thing. At this moment, I'm fretting, because I didn't want to, and the whole girl thing was still gross to me at the time. I tell her, "I need to go use the bathroom." Unfortunately, the restroom was adjacent from her room, and she didn't want me to go. She looked at me and kind of barred my way from her door. After a few minutes of me trying to leave, she falls to the ground and latches on to my leg. At this point, all my sensors were in panic mode, and I was trying to flee. Finally, I convinced her that I was just going to the bathroom, I walked out her door. I bolted towards the kitchen where her dad was. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath, my face was burning, and I kept stuttering. After the story was related to her dad, he went to her room. I could here smacks in her room and her crying. She goes to my school now, she doesnt even look at me.[/QUOTE] are you gay or something
If she starts hating you because of this, she's not worth your time anyway. Accidents happen. No one died, so I don't see a reason to be stressed about.
[QUOTE=HendoV2;26986207]are you gay or something[/QUOTE] I would assume he is.
[QUOTE=HendoV2;26986207]are you gay or something[/QUOTE] No, I didn't reach puberty yet, and I was still in the "girls have cooties" stage.
In addition, WHY DOES NOBODY SEE OR PRAISE THIS MAN? HE HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER'S NOODLEY APPENDAGE! ALL MUST BOW TO HIM!
[QUOTE=Foobar;26986131]He was spanking her, not beating her, sorry for confusion lol[/QUOTE] I guess that's okay then [editline]January 1[/editline] Hot
[QUOTE=Foobar;26986258]No, I didn't reach puberty yet, and I was still in the "girls have cooties" stage.[/QUOTE] Probably still are, seeing how most of FP is a bunch of whiny ten year olds. Also, I'll bet my avatar is exactly how you reacted when she asked to kiss you. [editline]26th December 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=thekinglichs;26986309]Hot[/QUOTE] Avatar fits.
[QUOTE=Archonet;26986310]Probably still are, seeing how most of FP is a bunch of whiny ten year olds. Also, I'll bet my avatar is exactly how you reacted when she asked to kiss you. [editline]26th December 2010[/editline] Avatar fits.[/QUOTE] Yea lol, something like that
[QUOTE=Foobar;26986202]I guess when I spank my kid for breaking shit, and he/she knows what he/she is doing is wrong, I'll be sent to prison for child abuse.[/QUOTE] Psychological punishments (no TV, being grounded etc.) is a better alternative, you don't want your kid to fear you. [highlight]You are hurting a defenseless child[/highlight]
[QUOTE=Soda;26986137]steps 2 become friends with grl: 1. practice self control(this is an important part to stop you from SNEEZING ON HER) 2. stop being shy. also, don't be self-depreciative. you really should be able to suppress any sneeze. practice[/QUOTE] I love how facepunch's girl tips are 'Don't sneeze on her'.
Or you could, you know, tell her it was an involuntary contraction of the nasal cavity. Or just an accident.
[QUOTE=neos300;26986593]Or you could, you know, tell her it was an involuntary contraction of the nasal cavity. Or just an accident.[/QUOTE] Yes but she already knows that. The problem is, its probably not nice to have someone else's spaghetti strewn all over you. Unless, of course, you're into that kind of thing.
Say your sorry then
[QUOTE=Foobar;26986258]and I was still in the "girls have cooties" stage.[/QUOTE] In 7th grade?
This is usually where you grab a paper towel or something and sneeze into that.
[QUOTE=Trumple;26985552](clearly it doesn't want to reproduce)[/QUOTE] I lol'd so hard when I read that. Anyways, that sucks so bad man.
[QUOTE=Fatfatfatty;26986166]Spanking is abuse as well. All physical pain and/or damage inflicted on a child is child abuse. Automerge :argh:[/QUOTE] How the hell is spanking child abuse? There's a little something called [i]discipline[/i] that parents have to teach to children. Apparently you haven't received any in your life.
Spaghetti strikes again Never a good thing with a lady friend
[QUOTE=Fatfatfatty;26986419]Psychological punishments (no TV, being grounded etc.) is a better alternative, you don't want your kid to fear you. [highlight]You are hurting a defenseless child[/highlight][/QUOTE] "Go to your room, no TV!" *Child goes to room and watches TV, turning it off whenever the parent comes within earshot* Great parenting huh I was spanked as a child and apparently you weren't, I don't do stupid shit and you're arrogant.
You have obviously displeased the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Say 11 prayers to his noodley appendage and all will be well.
[QUOTE=johan_sm;26986219]If she starts hating you because of this, she's not worth your time anyway. Accidents happen. No one died, so I don't see a reason to be stressed about.[/QUOTE] Exactly. Just bring it up in light joking conversation later.
[QUOTE=Foobar;26986131]He was spanking her, not beating her, sorry for confusion lol[/QUOTE] Sounds like the beginning of a porno
You should have asked if she had ever seen Lady and the Tramp in a seductive tone of voice, then slowly licked the mess off of her cheek.
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