• The SCP Foundation - "Send in the D-Class!"
    5,411 replies, posted
someone do [del]GTA[/del] Saints Row 2
Test #89 Name: Dr. Bellic Subject: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas After X amount of time playing the game Dr. Bellic started going out in the streets and punching pedestrians, as well as throwing them out of vehicles. He was also convinced that saying "Chittychittybangbang" would allow you to make vehicles fly.
Test #27 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Half-life 2 Details: After 20 minutes of gameplay, Dr.Tendo proceeded to retrieve a crowbar from Tech Locker ███ and proceeded to wander the grounds for several minutes, physically assaulting small animals with the crowbar while shouting "HEADCRABS!" Security personnel were dispatched to retrieve Dr. Tendo. Dr. Tendo physically assaulted security, shouting "DIE, COMBINE SCUM." Dr. Tendo now reports constantly hearing "Reload, Dr. Freeman!" from staff. Dr. Tendo is to be kept out of contact withany small animals. He is also to be kept out of reach or sight of any objects resembling masks or especially personnel wearing masks - so far, he has [EXPUNGED] several security personnel. Under no circumstances is Dr. Tendo to be allowed near crowbars again.
Test #28 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Pokemon Black Details: The game went smoothly, with Reese giving tips and Dr. Tendo appearing content, until Reese pointed out the number of pokemon in the game that were available to capture. At that point Dr. Tendo screamed and attempted to jump out of the bulletproof window we had installed after several previous incidents. Being treated for concussion and will receive therapy sessions to combat his constant whispering of the phrase "600, 600, oh shit, 600". Test #29 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Parappa the Rappa Details: After playing the game for approximately 15 minutes, Dr. Tendo was proficient at the game, in his words: "I'm chill as fuck at this game, yo". After 20 minutes had passed, we sent D-Class in to check on him. Using their mounted video cameras, we were able to see firsthand as Dr. Tendo got up, exclaimed he was "Rad to the shit, my homey g". He then attempted to start a rap battle with the D-classes. When he was unable to come up with a rhyme, he started "laying down some Dr. Seuss shit" and making up his own words. Notes: If Dr. Tendo is seen walking around the facility, do NOT attempt to remove his gold chain. So far, he has [REDACTED] over 18 scientists.
Test #96 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Saints Row 2 for the PS3 Details: After 30 minutes of gameplay, Dr. Tendo had proceeded to do insane acrobatics while punching staff in the scrotum and cussing in a strong english cockney accent. Dr. Tendo had to be tased to be contained. Dr. Tendo is currently contained in Solitary Confinement Cell [sp]__[/sp]. [I]We are currently making a list of games not allowed in SCP-XXX. This list will be on the notice board next to SCP-XXX by tomorrow. - Dr. [sp]_______[/sp][/I]
Test #30 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Nintendogs Details: Despite Dr. Bright being forbidden to use Nintendogs with SCP-XXX, various wagers including five tuppets of █████ along with the █████ of a little █████████-██-███ lead to Dr. Tendo playing Nintendogs. Dr. Tendo exhibited signs of both being a dog and an owner, from humping the legs of Agent ████ to requesting permission to take SCP-173 for a walk. [editline]7th October 2011[/editline] Test #31 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Hazard: The Journey of Life Details: Dr. Tendo repeatedly scoured the walls looking for secret doors and mind-puzzles. After around thirty minutes of running around, Dr. Tendo showed signs of extreme depression. Tendo recovered quickly, however, ending his state of mind with a contemplation of life.
Test #62 Name:Dr. Tendo Subject: Crysis Details: Shortly after play, Dr. Tendo reported that his brain was "[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] melting!". Shortly after screaming this, Dr. Tendo proceeded to fall upon the floor and convulse. Small amounts of blood appeared to be dripping from his ears. [I]Results aren't surprising in the least.[/I] - Dr. █████
Test #47 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Myst Details: After 2 hours of play time, Dr. Tendo proceeded to the on-site library and began to pull illustrated books off the shelves, open them, and stare intently at them for several minutes before declaring "This age must be broken." Dr. Tendo was later witnessed asking personnel if they knew where this world's "linking page" was located. Tendo's condition is not serious, and it is recommended that he be kept occupied in the library for the time being.
Test #48 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: DooM Details: After 1 hour of playtime, Dr. Tendo was reported to be running around the facility, attacking D-Class while screaming "RIP AND TEAR!". This condition is thought to be temporary, and Dr. Tendo should be kept in a locked room and supplied with food and water for the time being. [I]"Jesus Christ, I've never seen that much crazy before, and I've seen a lot of crazy."[/I] - Dr. █████" [I]"YOU ARE HUGE. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS!"[/I]​ - Dr. Bright [I]"My guts!"[/I] - D-2/105-382-118 I put in random D-Class numbers, sue me. :v:
Test #40 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Street Fighter 4 Details: After 20 minutes of play time, Dr. Tendo took off his shirt went to the medical cabinet, took the medical wrap and wrapped his hands and feet. He then proceeded to try to pick fights with people and when he got into a fight, he would do jumping knee strikes while yelling "Tiger Knee", a move that is in the game and sometimes he thrusted both his hands forward yelling "Tiger Shot". He was also fluent in the Muay Thai martial arts. It is recommended that no one tries to fight him. [I]Well at least he's asking - Dr. Ken[/I]
Test #94 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Details: After a few hours of playtime, Dr. Tendo proceeded to walk around the facility speaking in a heavy russian accent. He also proceeded to yell at people to "get out of here" but to select members of the hazmat personnel handling the SCP. At some point Dr. Tendo acquired an AK-74 sub machine gun and [DATA EXPUNGED]. [I] We've had multiple containment breaches at some of our living SCP and most of them are under going medical and/or re-cointainment procedures. Find this guy dammit before he fucks this facility over! Dr. Bob [/I]
Test #38 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Amnesia: The Dark Descent Details: [DATA EXPUNGED] [I] Dr. Tendo is to be given a full psychiatric evaluation and counseling in a room lit by a total of ██ candles. All precautions should be taken to ensure little to no shadows are present within the room, and that none of the candles burn out. No one is to go within a 5 meter radius of Dr. Tendo, and under no circumstances should the lantern in Dr. Tendo's possession be taken from his person. Dr. Tendo is to be provided oil to keep the lantern lit indeterminately. - Dr. ██████ Who the hell thought this was a good idea? Seriously. I've had to wipe this guys psyche more then my child's ass. - Dr. ██[/I]
Dr. Tendo must be going crazy..
Test #94 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Pac - Man Details: After a few hours of playtime, Dr. Tendo starts repetitively yelling waka while flailing his arms about. He eventually finds a plastic can of SCP - 500 and consumes the whole can then proceeds to conduct acts of cannibalism on various D class personnel.
Test #49 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: Depict1 Details: After successfully completing the game, Dr. Tendo displayed intense paranoia and distrust of all other personnel. Upon being told to return to his quarters, Dr. Tendo started off in the opposite direction. Shortly after, Dr. Tendo was observed stabbing knives into walls and attempting to use them to climb into a ventilation shaft; upon his third consecutive attempt, the handles snapped off, resulting in minor contusions on his back and several lacerations from the blades. Dr. Tendo was detained by security, and until this state of mind has worn off - or failing that, been wiped off - he is to stay detained, and away from any sharp objects.
Test #81 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: The Hidden: Source Details: [DATA EXPUNGED] [I]Dear God, he's loose![/I] - Dr. █████
Test #11111 Name: Dr. [EXPUNGED] Subject: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Details: Test seemed to carry through as normal, with Reese providing tips to the Doctor. After 2 hours, Dr. [EXPUNGED] left the testing chamber and proceeded to end his shift on time as always. However, The next day Dr. [EXPUNGED] was observed to have gone from Clean Shaven to A full thick beard overnight saying that all attempts to shave had been futile as it grew back within a hour
This entire thing needs to be compiled into a joke SCP and posted on the website.
So how about that Coolity SCP MC server?
[QUOTE=MasterFen007;32669438]Test #45 Name: Dr. LeFresque Subject: Amnesia: The Dark Descent Details: After approximately █ minutes LaFresques' heart rate and pupil dilation both increased and repeatedly shouted negative responses when scared (80% of the time these responses being 'nope'). After 2 (two) hours of gameplay LeFresque announced he had had enough and left the room, since testing he has been unable to enter places with less than 20% brightness and places with less than 2 (two) entrances/exits. [i]Further testing needs to be done on this game, it could have possible military or other professional applications[/i] - Dr. Buchanon.[/QUOTE] Late
Fuck everything, his is much better.
[QUOTE=finbe;32669005]This entire thing needs to be compiled into a joke SCP and posted on the website.[/QUOTE] Perhaps I'll write it and post it for consideration as to whether it's good enough to put on.
What would happen if SCP-073 were to try committing suicide?
Test #83 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: LSD Details: [DATA EXPUNGED] [I]-Oh god, oh jesus fucking christ, we have to stop testing... [/I]-Dr. ████
Test #XX Name: Dr. Bright Subject: Leisure Suit Larry Details: [DATA EXPUNGED]. [i]Restrict Dr. Bright from using SCP-XXX, and question those...ladies of the night as to how they got here.[/i] [editline]7th October 2011[/editline] Test #XX Name: Agent ██████████ Subject: Batman: Arkham Asylum Details: [DATA EXPUNGED] Notes: [i]We can't find Agent ██████████ to wipe his psyche. Just shoot at any gargoyles on sight. - Dr. Soft[/i]
[url]http://pastebin.com/BUGGzpaB[/url] Rough draft deployed. What do you guys think? [editline]7th October 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=latin_geek;32669846]Test #83 Name: Dr. Tendo Subject: LSD Details: [DATA EXPUNGED] [I]-Oh god, oh jesus fucking christ, we have to stop testing... [/I]-Dr. ████[/QUOTE] LSD isn't a game. As far as I'm aware, the console only runs games.
Test #154 Name: [DATA EXPUNGED] Subject: Mirror's Edge Details: ██████████ ██ █████ ███ ███████ █ ███ ███ █████████ █████ ████ fell down, to his death. Notes: [i]Cleanup teams dispatched. R.I.P.[/i]
[QUOTE=Strongbad;32669904] LSD isn't a game. As far as I'm aware, the console only runs games.[/QUOTE] [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LSD_(video_game)"]Oh really[/URL]
[QUOTE=latin_geek;32669953][URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LSD_(video_game)"]Oh really[/URL][/QUOTE] I stand corrected.
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