• Empires and Revolutions - Forum based Historical RP
    32 replies, posted
Empires and revolutions – Forum based Historical RP I'm running an RP again, it'll be my last one. To any newcomers, welcome! Please don't hesitate to ask me about setting up your country and playing. A map of the world on January 1st, 1836 “I would venture to warn against too great intimacy with artists as it is very seductive and a little dangerous.” - Queen Victoria https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX0qN6QEvGg Hello gentlemen. I intend to host and run a game to the best of my abilities. Based off of the Victoria Paradox Interactive game and role-playing games from the Wurm Online forums it will allow for some interesting gameplay. (Bigger map) http://i.imgur.com/eCgeN.png You take control of any nation you please, and run it to the best of your abilities. Founding alliances and setting up trade links helps you and your ally to develop. Or you can always wage war and take what you need by force. Rules: 1. Send Personal messages with the nation you wish to choose. If possible read a bit about that country that you have picked and what it did in a few years preceding 1836. 2. After you have picked your nation, you can send in turns, which take the form of:  Military: (Invasions, wars, army reform, technology, etc) Diplomacy: (Deals with other nations, trade, diplomatic bullshit, espionage)  Economy: (Economic reforms and projects, budget, etc. Note that at this time, government intervention and industrialisation is small.) Internal affairs: (Politics, censorship, elections, social and political reforms, propaganda campaigns, etc) (Copy paste) Military: Diplomacy: Economy: Internal affairs: After this I will take in all the turns for processing and then make the next turn. 3. There is also a option for those who wish to be different, revolutionaries. You use the same country and turn format, but do it as the head of a underground (Hipster) revolutionary party. Your goal is to overthrow the regime and establish yourself as head of state, where you can then run things according to your will. (Depending on certain conditions, a civil war may happen. The revolutionaries can be funded by foreign players, and will grow in strength depending how incapable or capable the heads of state and parties are. A weak national ruler and a strong party ruler will see a revolution occur. There may be only one such party for each country though. But another can appear once that party is eliminated or becomes the new state. 4. The map will be edited to reflect territory changes. (Through diplomacy, war and colonisation. Grey is Terra Nulius until another player takes it over.) I will try to edit things to match changing conditions as I go along. But the general idea is you either run a country, or work as a party to bring it down. Interact with one another, that I encourage! Technologies, inventions, cultural movements and ideas will be partly affected by the player, but for the most part controlled by myself. So, lets begin. Remember to send PM's with your countries name (Or Revolutionary party with country it is in) and the game turn and date. List o playas:
Can we even send PMs through Newpunch?
Send it by discord or other means of communication such as steam, or alternatively write me a letter in the post until Garry gets Newpunch fixed up good and proper.
Wait what you can't even bloody pm?
Don't worry, Garry is capable of writing decent forum software, and I'm sure that one day he will
Yeah, there's a reason why PMs aren't a thing yet - see here.
Lemme get that sweet Sokoto Caliphate bby
Should I go for Japan or Mexico?
Ill be liberia
Picking Brazil for this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2H4x_WejC8 “I leave this rule for others when I'm dead Be always sure you're right — THEN GO AHEAD! -Davy Crockett” Events of the years 1836 – 1837: -The battle of the Alamo breaks out as Mexico tries to crush the Texan rebellion. The tiny force of poorly armed and surrounded Texans starve to death in a heroic siege and Santa Anna declares victory. -The Riograndese Republic declares independence from tyrannical Brazilian Empire to create a nepotist oligarchic republic. Peru and Bolivia then form a confederation to protect Peru and Bolivia from one another. -The US patent office issues numbered patents for the first time, including the colt revolver and one for the instant-strike match. The office later burns down later that year in an assumed unrelated incident. -Charles Darwin returns home from his voyage on HMS Beagle with a plethora of biological data for misrepresentation in the future. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Gudu -The Sokoto Sultan organises a great gathering and calls the emirates together to finish off the Bornu Empire. He also takes the opportunity to reform the army hierarchy, something that does not go down well with some of the emirs who refuse to carry it out. Regardless, like most traditional African armies, it is mostly composed of teenaged rapists and murderers. -Merchants and imams travel to see the Benin, Yoruba, and Oro peoples to conduct trade and convert the locals to the religion of peace, but many are captured by rebels or are driven away by the bigoted Islamophobic natives. Despite calls by the Sultan to bring all of the emirs together on “matters of state” where he has an interest in legal and social reforms, many of his disloyal vassals are reluctant to attend. -Sokoto invades Bornu and finally ends the Bornu Empire, building small forts to help secure control there. Further costly campaigning sees expansion up to the Logone river before a revolt breaks out in Gobir, partly from the army being busy and because the Gobir emir was insulted and declared war to defend his honour. Several others rally to his banner. -The Sultan tries to enact reforms in his personal lands, but attempts to provide schooling for girls and to build roads falls through. He does manage to establish a couple of schools in the newly acquired lands by the Logone river, and establishes a guild to regulate trade, but otherwise control over the new lands is limited and the residents ignore the Sultan for the most part. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -The year 1836 didn't see much change for China, for the peasants still toiled in the fields as they always had while the Emperor would carry out rituals to ensure a good harvest. Tributary states continue to send tributes with the exception of Britain, who instead sell the Chinese opium. -Tensions over opium sales continue to rise because of Britain banning the trade at home while hypocritically selling it to peasants in China. Many people rise up and blame foreigners for bringing drugs, but the British and the Merchants assure the officials that people have the right to destroy their own bodies and that they are doing no wrong. Talks of an “opioid epidemic” ruining the country are dismissed by the Merchants https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -The large and incompetently run Brazilian Empire has met with many crises due to the fact that after independence nobody really wanted to be part of a centralized and autocratic empire. Revolts break out in Grao-Para and in Rio Grande (the latter of which declares independence), panicking the Emperor who orders the army increased to 60,000 men and orders some steamships. -As rebels skirmish with Imperial forces, Pedro II also orders the construction of many state-owned coffee plantations to export coffee (while also buying out private ones) in return for real money. He issues an edict to spend this money on bridge and road improvements, and also appoints a railway construction board. They report that they would have to import locomotives, rolling stock, and talent to make up for the lack of all three in Brazil. -Taxes on slave ownership are also introduced, with the state offering to buy and free slaves from landowners. The landowners sell the slaves and then hire gangs to kidnap freedmen, often passing them off as ”slaves” to government officials. Embarrassingly, government plantations are forced to rely on slave labour as the coffee trade booms. Some slaves even participate in the trade themselves and criminal gangs grow rich. https://i.imgur.com/wxCb3yG.png Empire of Mexico – Trebgarta Capital: Mexico City -The Mexican army under Santa Anna marches into Texas and is bogged down in conflict as the cautious general lays siege to numerous places and arms slaves to rebel against the Texans. The Texans use the valuable extra time to gather volunteers and equipment from the USA and to train a proper army. They then defeat the Mexicans at Jacinto and win de facto independence. -Mexico opens embassies in the African nations of Italy and Portugal, issuing a proclamation granting homesteads to willing immigrants. Spain refuses Mexico permission and blocks the embassy until the Mexicans grant them preferential trade access. Some immigrants arrive later this year to California, where tensions rise between them and the white settlers. -In a last ditch attempt to win back the Texans, the Mexican government promises a constitutional convention and then returns autonomy to Texas, Yucatan, and Tabasco along with local militias. Other states begin issuing autonomy peititions while centralists protest and threaten to rebel. -An envoy is sent to Britain to help with diplomacy. He observes and is amazed by the London and Greenwich railway completed this year, later signing a treaty with Britain where they collaborate on tackling slavery and hope to lower tariffs. A few British envoys later travel to Mexico where they establish an equivalent of the Royal Mail which began operations this year in Mexico state and Hidalgo. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/424696799605817393/424763038462115851/800px-Flag_of_France.svg.png Kingdom of France – Malos Capital: Paris -The French Army continues their campaign to subjugate Algeria with mixed success. After calls to intervene in the country, the French now have to contend with the unruly natives who have declared jihad on the invaders and continue a guerilla war. With the intervention having failed to make the land peaceful, there are now calls within France to increase the level of intervention and fully colonize Algeria on the basis that true interventionism has never been tried. -The Arc de Triomphe is inaugurated to much fanfare by the government, helping to boost its popularity. Already criticized for being aimless and not knowing what to do, the government responds to the heinous charges by setting up a committee to tell them how to fix the economy. The commissioners (mostly canal owners and landowners) argue for the status quo and block the construction of any railways, arguing it would damage crops and ruin the canal businesses as it has in Britain. -At the same time, the government also funds a study which declares that the army could introduce British arms manufacturing techniques, but otherwise the army is considered unbeatable by an independent third party committee staffed by French nationalists. https://i.imgur.com/mgFLZm0.png Japan – .Del Capital: Edo -The Bakufu Shogun suddenly ends the policy of isolation from the world by opening the ports of Shimoda and Hakoda, shocking many in the government who predict disaster (in particular the Saga clan who lost their privileged position). Foreigners are no longer executed, and merchants may now trade freely. Immediately western missionaries take advantage and begin sneaking into the country. -The government also starts sending out students and diplomats to Britain to learn how to use forks, how to prepare tea properly, and advanced industrial manufacturing techniques. The British government agrees to help Japan modernise in return for trade concessions, and begins shipping over military advisors and shipbuilders. -A movement to reform education also begins, with a law now mandating that every district must have a temple school for the education of commoners. Additionally, some clans begin flirting with foreign military techniques and drill levies with muskets in the western style. Some of these clans aren't great fans of the Bakufu government and its preference for western animation, and so talk of plotting spreads. -With Russia encroaching, the Shogun orders some men to occupy southern Sahkalin and drive off Russian whalers, and later sends a diplomat to Viet Nam to establish an embassy for some reason. https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -Realising that their backwards and South American army is not up to scratch, the dictator asks the USA to send military advisors to help train the army and additionally asks for demonstrations of Springfield rifles and artillery pieces. The USA obliges and impresses the army, especially since the carbines could do well for the new cavalrymen now being drafted and drilled to bolster the ranks. -Colombia starts a protectionist trade policy to protect infant industries which currently don't exist, and then later the government tries to promote agricultural exports without much success due to lack of direction. Coca is domestically popular but difficult to export because it rots easily and nobody can purify it, and so instead opium poppies are planted with the hopes that exports will prove profitable. -Diplomats manage to secure some nice houses for themselves in London, Paris, and Washington hoping to observe the industrial developments there and to attract expertise to Colombia. An American company is asked to build a canal in Panama, but it instead offers to build a railway if the US also obtains a military concession and the right to change the results of elections it doesn't like. -After New Grenada is renamed Colombia, an office is established to boost the cult of personality around Simon Bolivar. They begin by erecting statues of the diminutive hero around the country and even go so far as to start building the humbly-named ”Pantheon of heroes” to inter his shrivelled body. Diplomats then go to Bolivia and Venezuela to ask them to recreate Gran Colombia. They selfishly refuse, with Bolivia instead joining Peru. https://i.imgur.com/75vl4wu.png United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland – Euskalduna Capital: London -Britain starts 1836 in the reign of King William, who is neither famous for his activities in Northern Ireland or at Hastings and instead has been reduced to signing legislation. Some of these acts of parliament which he signs are mostly to do with the construction of new railways, as quite suddenly with the completion of the London and Greenwich railway everyone wants to build one. -Despite the protestations of many landowners many new railways are approved connecting the growing industrial cities, and later a further act of parliament lowers taxes and tariffs to the great satisfaction of capitalists nationwide. The coal used to fuel this transportation revolution is happily mined by prepubescent children paid fourpence a day for their troubles. -Overseas the British involve themselves in helping other nations to open up and to modernise their backwards economies and militaries. The navy sends a number of ships to Japan to forcibly open them up, only to discover that not only had the Shogun already opened the country up, but that loads of prostitutes eloped with the British sailors and gave them numerous sexual diseases. At the same time, the British government also grants a devolved dominion status to Canada, Australia, and South Africa to please local elites overseas. Current player List: Malos – France Ruskie - Qing China Euskalduna - Britain Crossu88 - Colombia Native Hunter - Sokoto .Del - Japan Trebgarta – Mexico Firefox42 - Brazil If you haven’t already done so, please join our group on either discord or steam (or both). There will usually be people chatting in the chat room after each turn is posted, so please pop in for a visit.
I'm thinking of joining this, either as the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Prussia, Russia, or the Eyalet of Egypt. What do y'all think? Who wants a neighbor/ally?
test poast for formatting (ignore this) Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Gudu -The Sokoto Sultan organises a great gathering and calls the emirates together to finish off the Bornu Empire. He also takes the opportunity to reform the army hierarchy, something that does not go down well with some of the emirs who refuse to carry it out. Regardless, like most traditional African armies, it is mostly composed of teenaged rapists and murderers.
https://i.imgur.com/Lzytkwz.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i_jqEIv5JM “Don't be afraid! We won't make an author of you, while there's an honest trade to be learnt, or brick-making to turn to." - Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist 1837: -An economic crash comes in the United States when the speculative lending practices of the banks cause a property bubble to burst and precipites an economic crisis. In spite of this the banking system isn't reformed, setting a precedent for the next two centuries. -The telegraph system is patented by Samuel Morse, while Thomas Davenport patents the electric motor. Undettered, the British men Wheatstone and Cooke patent the telegraph. -The Liberals gain the upper hand in the Spanish civil war (the first of hopefully many to follow) over the Carlists, defeating them soundly at the battle of Aranzueque. -Charles Dickens publishes Oliver Twist, a book about an orphan boy who ends up in London in the hands of a child rapist and murderer who coincidentally happens to be Jewish. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -As the rebellion in Gobir spreads, the Sultan decides to cobble together an army of peasant levies and captured slaves which marches on Gobir and drives out the cowardly emir. Following this the rebellion collapses and the impressed Sultan gathers together the slaves to create a personal retinue schooled in islamic doctrine and Ottoman military practice. -Following the capture of execution of the Gobir emir, all of the tribes and rulers of Sokoto are gathered together and hold a big council where they decide to reform the country. They agree to create a system for raising levies in return for the lands of the Gobir emir, and are given free reign to raid southern tribes that the upper paleolithic revolution happened to pass by. -Having done this, the Sultan then moves his court to Sokoto and encourages the spread of new agricultural techniques such as crop rotation and legislates against overgrazing. More importantly he also manages to get all of the emirs to agree to the advanced legal doctrine of sharia law, which will be now applied equally in all parts of Sokoto from now on. -With peace returning to the land and the authority of the state restored, the emirs begin carrying out the reforms of the center, although it will take years to bear fruit. Until then, many are content to expand their control in the south and to seize apes for slavery from the unruly tribes there. Imans help to convert many of these slaves to the religion of peace, preparing them for a lifetime of devotion to militaristic expansionism. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -Bowing down wisely to many concerns within China, the Emperor bans the importation of opium. Much of it is turned in at "market rate compensation" by many merchants, but others refuse and hold out in warehouses. After a few months pass, most of the remaining opium is forcibly seized from foreign merchants and destroyed. -The British detachment complains loudly about the chinamen being harder to trick than the indolent hindoos and negroes, and at the same time a petition is sent by the Jews of London to parliament decrying the injustice. Despite compensation their losses are huge, for the market is now closed off. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -With rebellion widespread, the Brazillian army decides to campaign in the north. It is a protracted and difficult conflict, and to aid Brazil the British have sent military advisors and some weaponry. The Brazillians main advantage in the conflict is that they are slightly more white than their opponents, and so they seize the cities and drive the rebels into the hinterlands. -The coffee plantation prove a splendid investment, and despite the moral qualms of slavery (maximum working hours are introduced however, so it's fine), sugarcane plantations are now also being roped into the state-led export system. The funds from exporting sugar and coffee are used to convince British and American businessmen to move to Rio de Janeiro, Recife, and Niteroi to set up some textile workshops and metalworks. Undercut by foreign imports, lacking raw materials, and with transport costs high, these new industries struggle. -With less than one in ten able to read, education is seen as a priority and so the state begins setting up schools to teach basic literacy and arithmetic. Poorly funded, organised, and restricted to cities, they barely scratch the surface. Teaching children about how to use condoms for gay anal sex and a thorough understanding of Islam is but a distant dream. https://i.imgur.com/wxCb3yG.png Empire of Mexico – Trebgarta Capital: Mexico City -Having lost a disastrous war with Texas, the centralists are overthrown in a coup organised by Jose de Urrea and Vicente Filisola, who in collaboration with federalist governors enact a systematic purge of the discredited centralists. Once in power, President Vicente immediately restores the 1824 constitution and cargo cults over the US patent laws, business regulations, and judiciary system in the hopes that it will make a country of mestizo peasants into a superpower. -Curiously enough, British merchants begin popping up immediately afterwards to take advantage of the favourable business environment. Some travel to California to carry out mineralogical surveys while others help with the development and expansion of the postal service. Many new offices pop up, many staffed by British clerks and financed by nonchristian British financiers. To reduce postage difficulties, internal tariff controls are abolished. -Seeking to improve its worldly status, Mexico then establishes embassies in Berlin and Constantinople where they encourage non-anglo immigrants to move to California. The population slowly ticks upwards, and the natives of Nuevo Mexico and California begin rebelling, spreading far-right conspiracy theories about "demographic replacement" and committing acts of terrorism. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/424696799605817393/424763038462115851/800px-Flag_of_France.svg.png Kingdom of France – Malos Capital: Paris -Slyvain Charles Valee is put in charge of the Algerian invasion force and its many cannon, which he takes to Constantine and soon blasts his way into the city, in the process killing the leaders Abd el-Kader and Ahmad ibn Muhammad. After marching down the streets and declaring "Mission accomplie", Valee is informed that the Algerian forces (led by Sam Al-Haid) have fled into the countryside to continue the fight. -This does not discourage the French, who immediately reorganise Algeria into new administrative divisions and begin granting land to immigrants. Bertrand Clauzel heads these efforts, and has also taken it upon himself to encourage French nationals to move to the country to take part in the excitement. This includes the young Homme Éclair, who becomes famous and much admired in France for raping 478 Algerian women. His mistress's husband is killed in Japan by a rioting mob, and an angry Homme uses his influence to rile up public interest into demanding intervention in Japan. -Despite the major focus in Algeria (the inhabitants of which are now considered French with their swarthy skin and preference for Islam), some industrial efforts are made at home. Some licenses and favours are granted to various companies to explore the opening and expansion of coal mines in the north of France. The army also starts copying British manufacturing techniques, and soon they order new Paixhan naval guns with their exploding shells.   https://i.imgur.com/mgFLZm0.png Japan – .Del Capital: Edo -As the country rapidly opens up to outside influences and diseases, Dutch-studies is slowly overtaken by the British. The first model steam engines arrive in Japan and are demonstrated to the gobsmacked onlookers, along with a steamship and British firearms. A hot air balloon is demonstrated likewise, which ends up being attacked by angry peasants who mistake it for a dragon. -This openness has a price, for a group of pointy-nosed hangers-on tagging along with the British discover an arbritrage opportunity in the exchange rates, and before they are stopped they rob Japan of 70 tons of gold. In combination with cholera introduced by the British, this causes a crisis throughout the country and several peasant rebellions break out in addition to riots. -In late August 1837, a rioting mob ends up killing several foreigners including French, British, American, and Russian nationals. Tensions rise further when several of the clans begin calling their feudal levies in and arm them with whatever they can find. The Shogunate sends a token force to claim the rest of Sahkalin. https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -Although poor and backwards, Colombia begins an ambitious program of economic and military modernisation. They start by setting up an office to allocate land out for farming and to manage exports, discovering that opium is well received in South and North America. Another office is set up to invite businessmen to build a native textile industry, and soon there are several cotton weaving sheds in Bogota started up by hopeful businessmen. -The military receives the lions share of active investment, moreso after the dictator orders them to march on the estates of nobles he doesn't like and more or less robbing them. With the army paid some of the loot, the fun quickly goes out of control and soon large areas of land are being seized. The aristocrats begin organising armed resistance and seize several British ships as they start a rebellion. In retaliation, a British naval captain sails to the "Pantheon of Heroes" and breaks in, stealing the body of Simon Bolivar and taking it back home as a war trophy! -With the monies thus earned by requistioning, carbines are imported especially for the benefit of the new cavalry units in the army - now being used in the national requistioning campaigns. The terror is supported by the efforts of the propaganda office, who blame the aristocracy for the nations ills (rather than you know who) and support using the money and land for the benefit of man. And sure enough, that man is Jose Ignacio de Marquez Barreto. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/267342223736045568/425430295580246027/unknown.png Principality of Serbia - Joshuadim Capital: Belgrade -Boastful and proud, the prince of Serbia begins active investment into the armed forces (he issues a demand for 20,000 men to be armed and drilled) and invites numerous foreign nations to help develop the Serbian army. Despite constant whining, most of the European powers (including Russia and Austria) refuse to help, especially after the Ottomans send an envoy to Belgrade to timidly ask that the Serbians stop their aggression. -Ignoring the Ottoman envoy, Milos Obrenovic I instead travels around Serbia, giving rousing speeches about the oppression of the Turk (who currently occupy a fort in Belgrade). The already angry sultan Mahmud II is also upset with the 1835 constitution still being in place, and so the Sultan imposes trade and travel restrictions once more. -Mobs attack and loot Ottoman armories, and so the Turks blame the Serbs and mobilise. The Serb prince calls this an unwarranted insanity, demanding proof of wrongdoing while he busily procures armaments. The Turks then cross into Serbia, concurrently Belgrade falls in a single day after the Ottoman garrison blows up half the city with artillery. Later the garrison went to the city to take some women back into the fort. The Serbs grow enraged, moreso after it was revealed that their wives left willingly to sleep with the enemy.  https://imgkk.com/i/i7n_.png Federal Republic of Central America - Slendermang Capital: San Salvador  -This platypus of countries, the FRCA is an experiment in seeing how long groups of irrelevant central american peoples can live together in one country. Already with one civil war under its belt, this impoverished shithole has a bright history to look forward to. President Francisco Morazán starts by travelling around to visit regional capitals and dispense neccessary "gifts" to their elites. He also begins promoting a "Central American Identity" based largely on the fact they aren't Mexicans. -With some hands greased, he is able to just about get the support he needs to begin building bridges throughout the country (some of them even made of stone). He also passes a law allowing companies to build toll roads, a fact taken advantage of by nobody. Some merchants do however begin upgrading port facilities with some help from the government. -Diplomats are sent to Britain and France to try and establish embassies, with the hope that both will reciprocate (at least Britain does). After establishing an embassy in Britain, a few military advisors and some wealthy sorts become interested in the country and come to visit to remind themselves that there are countries worse than Britain. In the case of the former visitors, they get to observe joint training drills being held by FRCA between its subnational military units. https://i.imgur.com/2EY5hLR.png Russian Empire - Van Kaeo Capital: St Petersburg -The large and oriental Russian empire completed their first railway this year, an oversized toy railway for the self-indulgent nobility. Despite going over budget, the tsar orders the engineers to continue anyways and begin surveying a route from St Petersburg to Moscow.  -The tsar also orders a comission to look into new firearms for the army and one engineer invents the "Nagant rifle", a rifled-musket using a kind of hollow bullet that makes it possible to reload a rifle as quickly as a musket. This experimental weapon is not the only new thing, for the army has also established a modern officers school with drillyards modelled along modern ((western))) lines. No fears of war however, Russia's European neighbours inform the tsar they don't plan on invading. -There is also an increased interest in Alaska (and the Caspian and Lake Balkash to a lesser extent due to "challenging behaviour from the locals") despite the poor returns on the colonies, and many more Russians are sent to settle the area as far south as Oregon where they accidentally introduce cholera to the area. Soon Russian claims start conflicting with American and British claims. The vile bigoted natives meanwhile attack the squinty-eyed Russian settlers. Player List: Native Hunter - Sokoto Ruskie - Qing China Firefox42 - Brazil Trebgarta – Mexico Malos – France .Del - Japan New Colombia – Crossu88 Principality of Serbia - Joshuadim Crossu88 - Colombia Van Kaeo - Russian Empire Slendermang - Federal Republic of Central America
https://i.imgur.com/O2hfXqE.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdqBfMb3pX0 "The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again" - Nicholas Nickleby, Charles Dickens Events of 1838: -Racist Boer explorer Piet Retief and sixty of his men are massacred by King Dingane kaSenzangakhona of the Zulu after he promises to share land with the Boers and asks them to disarm as a sign of good faith (they oblige). A century and a half later the Boers repeat their mistake under similar circumstances when they end apartheid. -As Queen Victoria is crowned, the people of Britain issue a charter demanding universal suffrage and sign a petition. Despite receiving nearly one and a half million likes on Facebook, Parliament refuses to read the petition and instead says they will declare war on China, causing the people to riot. They back down on the war proposal, one of the wiser things parliament ever done. -Gerardus Johannes Mulder discovers proteins, paving the way for the advent of the bodybuilding community. -John Gould embarrasses Charles Darwin by telling him that he got his catergorisation of finches wrong. Darwin goes to refute him, and instead accidentally develops the theory of evolution. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -Impressed with his equivalent of a poor mans janissaries, the Sultan decides to create a permament standing army of twenty thousand of them, of which two thousand are cavalry. Despite poor equipment, training, and supplies, they are immediately set to the task of invading Benin after a mere two months preparation. The war with Benin goes badly as the vassals are unwilling to risk their levies, and many of the retinue die from horrible diseases that have yet to reach the male bathhouses of the west. The war grinds to a halt and only some small gains are made. -The Sultan realised his folly and ordered tens of thousands of muskets, with many villages quickly setting up little workshops to profit by it and to churn out poor imitations of 18th century muskets. To fund his gun-collecting hobby, the Sultan designates Khartoum as a place to sell slaves and sets about collecting prisoners of war and sending them overland (some travelled by the new stone roads being laid out) to be sold in Ottoman slave markets as a way of bypassing the islamophobic westerners. The Sultan later goes to Mecca (giving out alms along the way for PR purposes), along the way he visits and asks Muhammed Ali for help to modernise his primitive nation. -Sokoto becomes the worlds biggest Sharia-controlled law zone, for now there are courts being set up in even the smallest village now. Although appointed by local emirs, the judges do need some religious training and so they help to patronize a few legal schools, which mysteriously fill up with the descendants of converted jews. Despite what one may normally think of Sharia law, the harsh Hudud punishments of stoning (among others) has been on the wane in the Muslim world. Their revival still has a century and a half to go. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -With the opium trade banned and heavily suppressed in China, a potential major problem was nipped in the bud. However, many British merchants and businessmen manage to successfully petition parliament, who hold a vote on going to war with China. Due to the compensation paid out and the war being unpopular at home, the Whigs fail to gather support for an expedition to China. They nonetheless manage to gather enough support to send a few ships over with the hopes of convincing China that its unfair to ban drug pushers from a community that doesn't want them.  -As people have the right to do what they please with their body, it makes sense that China shouldn't infringe on the right of millions of people to become addicted to drugs which slowly destroy their bodies. If it doesn't hurt anybody else but themselves, then what right have you to intervene in the decisions of rational actors? Of course there are some who argue that opium would ruin China and cause misery for millions, but with individual rights at stake this argument shouldn't really be taken seriously. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -The Cabanagem rebellion withers away as the pressure mounts up. Patrolling units do the bulk of the work as they follow trails deeper and deeper into the country where they burn villages and force rebels to flee hither and thither. Some men of ability are promoted for their efforts in burning down villages and murdering children, and soon the rebellion is all but pushed into the fringes by an army now experienced and well capable of some challenge. -Some rebels are brought before a court, where a fairly typical judge orders the nearby town to pay to gather up jurors, and then having done so, accepts bribes from jurors to avoid service. The judge then forces the town to pay a fine for having provided untrustworthy jurors and promptly arrests many prominent townspeople, throwing the rebels out of jail (they later escape) to make room for the prisoners until they pay their bribes. It is in this context that Brazils school system is born, presided over by men of similar integrity. Money vanishes down every hole, but now more semi-literate people stumble out of schools, able to read internet memes scrawled on blackboards for money. -To encourage native industry, Brazil introduces protectionist measures whereby they raise tariffs on imported manufactured products and lower taxes for home industries. The effect is much weaker than hoped, for Brazillian business just expand horizontally much like their womens waistlines by hiring more workers instead of investing in machinery. The wealthy complain bitterly about the great indigity of luxury goods going up three percent and write numerous letters explaining why free trade is a good thing. Brazil also expands ties to Britain and America, where businessmen discuss the possibility of investing in Brazil.  https://i.imgur.com/wxCb3yG.png Empire of Mexico – Trebgarta Capital: Mexico City -Big guns win big wars, and with similar logic good guns win good wars, and so in turn the side with the best guns is morally right and deserve to win. Mexico thusly imports many quality artillery pieces from Britain. The army is also being prepared for war with constant drill practice sessions being held every thursday on the the Mount and Blade Napoleonic 4th Veracruz artillery training server. Nobody is quite sure who the war will be with though, but I'm willing to bet it's a neighbouring country. -As part of the army training, the militias in the northern states are given generous subsidies to spend on nice houses, alcohol, and women. Some of it is accidentally spent on equipment for soldiers however, and in the case of California helps them to establish their first state militia on the same day as the first California post office. Most importantly, Rio Grande has seen lavish attention which has allowed it to acquire some artillery for themselves into the bargain. For what reasons the northern states are getting ready for war however, nobody really knows. -More immigrants come from Southern Europe (otherwise known as northernmost Africa) to California where they can receive free land in return for becoming Mexicans - a tough decision for many. Some of these immigrants have no interest in that however, and occasionally you can see them at work in the countryside helping to set up the new post offices now becoming widespread throughout Mexico. Most impressive of all is the team of engineers and the horde of beaners busy clearing vegetation and doing survey work for a "railway" to connect Veracruz and Mexico City. Corruption, lack of funding, and terrain difficulties (Mexicans sleeping in the way) impedes progress. https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -Rebellious nobles conspire to undermine Colombia, and so the government responds by blockading the rebels in Panama and then sends the bulk of their forces southwest to tackle the aristocrats. The British help (due to attacks on British citizens by rebels) Colombia to close off rebel supply lines and routes of escape. Predictably the rebels soon break under relentless assaults by the new and improved cavalry, either fleeing overseas or being captured by the government to be treated in a fair manner by being tortured to death. -Land seized from the now dead nobles is put to good use as the government encourages peasants to grow maize, coffee, sugarcane, and bananas for exports. Furthermore the government also opens a coalmine in La Gaujira (moving the coal overland with the lack of canals and railways is prohibitively expensive however) and begins buying textiles in bulk for army use. However with terrible infrastructure, storage facilities, and high transport costs they cannot quickly nor easily squander their vast natural wealth. -People begin questioning the government strongly on violating constitutional rights, to which it responds more or less with "Who cares?" and points out that the rebels are to blame for Bolivars body being stolen (which has since been sold to a private collector in England). Nonetheless there are many who protest the governments autocracy, but many are angrier at the fact that the national hero is kept in a glass case overseas. Many protest outside the British embassy. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/267342223736045568/425430295580246027/unknown.png Principality of Serbia - Joshuadim Capital: Belgrade -The impoverished and backwards nation of Serbia suffers greatly in their war against the Ottoman Empire, moreso because most of the world did not treat their conflict with the due weight it deserved and merely ignored Balkan savages killing one another. While militias are raised from around the country and peasant wives are turned to hammering out flintlocks, the main Serbian forces besiege Belgrade for much of the year. The Ottomans march westwards and in one battle a group of auxillary Bulgarians fighting for the Ottomans accidentally shoot themselves, escalating into a battle which results in 300 dead and 1800 wounded before they retreat.  -Russia enters the war on Serbias side, marching over the Danube. Although Russia dreams of taking Constantinople, their real and relatively minor goal is to keep their greatest ally Serbia safe from other bullies. In spite of the well-known fact that Russians are essentially negroes but born the wrong colour, they are still somehow more capable than the Ottomans and manage to break and rout them several times over in numerous battles in Wallachia. Eventually the Ottomans pull their forces back from Serbia to deal with the Russians, allowing prince Obrenovic to hold more speeches and to rally his countrymen to retake Belgrade. -At the end of a 293 day siege, the starving Turkish garrison report that they have gone and finished the supply of horses, cows, dogs, and then after being reduced to eating Serbian food they cowardly surrendered. It is declared a great victory and is a major blow for the Turks, despite the loss of 4000 Serbs and 300 men to disease and the complete destruction of the capital city of Belgrade and most of its inhabitants fleeing. The gypsies steal whats left, while the Jews more or less do the same, but in a more elaborate and clever way that denies culpability. https://i.imgur.com/2EY5hLR.png Russian Empire - Van Kaeo Capital: St Petersburg -With Serbia now at war, it makes sense that Russia would immediately get involved and invade the Ottoman Empire. After several battles in which many men die in heaps to win shitty land filled with Jews, the Russian army frees Wallachia and Moldavia from Turkish rule and crosses the Danube. Austria threatens war if Russia advances further, and soon the Ottomans, Russians, and Austrians begin hosting peace talks over the Serbian question. -British engineers finish survey works on the Moscow-St Petersburg railway and begin construction, making use of mistreated peasants in a time honoured Russian tradition. The Russian army also imports some foreign steam engines for the railway, and through these contacts comes to hear of Samuel Colts revolver. After a demonstration is made before army officials, the Russians immediately place orders for their officers. The new Nagant rifles are now also seeing action for the first time, but it could take years before most soldiers are equipped with them. The standard musket largely remains in use. -Russia continues colonizing the Pacific Northwest, the Tsar declaring "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for Russian children". Soldiers, ships, and supplies are sent (at great expense) to establish forts. Additionally the Tsar declares these lands part of the empire, infuriating both the United States and Britain (sending their own soldiers to enforce claims). Skirmishes with American settlers break out over competing claims, especially once the Russians discover gold in Alaska. Later the main Russian fort in Oregon suffers from a severe cholera outbreak before it is raided by natives who mysteriously have quality American guns. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250451821477232640/434398657719042089/unknown.png Sardinia-Piedmont - Pezgod1 Capital: Turin -Sardinia-Piedmont is a strange combination of two countries that have little in common, yet ruled by one king. Due to the fact Piedmont is in northern Italy, it is full of competent white people who spearhead the Italian industrial revolution. The king grants concessions to glassworks, potteries, printhouses, breweries, paper and textile mills, plus foundries too. The merchants of Italy have been greedy for centuries, especially those who were often the target of pogroms. -Turin (being the capital) receives the bulk of attention and royal patronage as it swells in size and wealth like an imflamed hemorrhoid. Fields are replaced by factories, and the soot stains everything. Some Turinese are even turned black by the smoke, and are beaten up for looking like southerners. Industrialism isn't the only cause of tension, since a growing nationalist movement seeks to unify Italy on the basis that most Italians only differ in their DNA makeup by 2% (about the same seperating humans and Chimpanzees). Nationalists were once suppressed, but now the bans on nationalist literature are being lifted. -As industry expands, the army and navy both reap the benefits as new caplock muskets and clipper ships make an appearance. A brand new clipper ship is pioneered to head an expedition to Niger to set up a trade post on the River Bonny and claim the land for Piedmont. Upon arrival, half the expedition dies from Malaria. The trade post also sinks into the mud and is attacked by naked black men with rocks. Despite being outnumbered and outgunned, the natives rout the Italians. A skeleton garrison clings on. It is rather embarrassing to Piedmont, especially after recent attempts to improve diplomatic ties with other Italian states.
Claiming USA! USA! USA!
Hope you don't mind if I continue to colonize Washington and Oregon.
https://i.imgur.com/5xFGgmM.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuZmLa6-yFs "I have seized the light, I have arrested its flight." - Louis Daguerre  Events of 1839: -Serbia successfully concludes their war with the Ottoman Empire as a big peace conference is held between the major powers of Europe. Muhammad Ali is forced to give up his claims on the Levant (it instead belongs to a future Israel), while Serbia returns to the status quo (absent the Ottoman garrison in Belgrade and genocide). Most significantly, Wallachia and Moldavia are combined to form the Duchy of Romania as a nominal Ottoman Vassal.  -Charles Goodyear vulcanises rubber, Michael Faraday publishes his experiments into electricity, and William Otis invents the steam-shovel. No mention however is made of African-Americans contribution in this period or before, due to a racist white conspiracy to undermine black acheivements.  -Peru, Bolivia, and Chile all engage in a three-way war with themselves and each other because Peru and Bolivia formed a confederation. This culminates in the battle of Yungay, where Peru loses to Peru. Both Peru and Peru are dissolved as political entities and merged to form Peru.  -Conflict boils over in Japan as different factions compete for power, resulting in Satsuma declaring open rebellion against the Shogunate. All foreign animation is banned, with large crates full of Family Guy disc sets being thrown into the sea. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -Military setbacks have given the Sultan pause for thought, wisely suspending his regular campaigning to focus on military reform. Core to this is forming proper cavalry units of lancers and dragoons, along with establishing cannon foundries. The tribal nature and poor discipline of the army leaves much to be desired, for the Caliphate is riddled with competing ethnic groups that mutually threaten one another with genocide. Occasionally attacks between different groups break out, and local chieftains often refuse to enforce Islamic law as they believe they have the right to more than four wives. -Egyptians come to Sokoto to help establish the first modern bureacracy, hopefully opening a pathway for later equality and diversity committees staffed exclusively by the Hausa. Having to pass exams and with frail constitutions (a consequence of not lifting), these pencil-necked nerds begin tinkering with taxes and administering national projects. Watchposts sprout up alongside highways (with regular patrols to keep the roads safe) while canals are dug for ease of transport. These men also begin the ardous process of land registration and reforming tenancy rights, not to mention granting licenses to build watermills. -The Sultan grows some balls and sends diplomats southwest to ask the chieftains there to swear fealty to his empire in return for not being invaded and getting free guns. Only Benin agrees, but as soon as the King of Benin receives arms and funds he invades a Warri weakened by conflict with the Italians and conquers it, followed in turn by Oyo, capturing many slaves and building a large harem of underage girls in accordance with the law. While still nominally a vassal, he not only exercises a great deal of power but embarrasingly he refuses to convert to Islam from Catholicism, citing that killing your enemies and raping their wives is no good if he can't eat pork or drink beer. Sokoto diplomats have better success in Morroco and Tunis, where they sign trade agreements and establish embassies. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -A British delegation arrives in China, where they are treated surprisingly well (although the Emperor still refuses to sign any treaties with them). They return home in failure, having aquired a taste for opium in the process somehow and becoming a national disgrace. The British government collapses in the Bedchamber crisis before they can send another expedition, and the Chinese Emperor grins mightily at having dealt with the foreign intrusions on his power. All he has to worry about now are the rising taxes and rents (yet declining revenues), peasants losing their lands, worsening banditry, Anti-Manchu race riots, Christianity, floods, and famine.  https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -The last of the rebels are driven to extinction by the army, with all of the challenges to central authority now crushed for good (although nothing has been done about the seperatists in the south). Confident in itself, the Brazillian government opens up more embassies (in which they serve coffee to entice investors) and begins importing textile machinery from Britain and setting up mills in Rio de Janeiro in which to put children rather than slaves, in accordance with progressive thinking. Outside of a few factories and coffee warehouses in the capital, little else happens. -The ambassador in London pays a visit to Charles Darwin after reading his "The Voyage of the Beagle", where he talks at autistic length about his ideas and gives the ambassador a copy of his essay on animal husbandry. Nobody quite understands him, but the ambassador sends off copies back home where they elicit much excitement. The ambassador encourages Darwin to continue despite his own reservations on the theory which he worries could accidentally validate racism and provide an ideological basis with which racist white people would conquer the world and subjugate peoples of colour. https://i.imgur.com/2EY5hLR.png Russian Empire - Van Kaeo Capital: St Petersburg -Capitalising on new weapon developments, the army secures production rights for the Colt Revolver and begins producing them in addition to Nagant rifles. It comes too soon to be of much help in the war with the Ottomans however, for it ends rather quickly with a hastily arranged peace conference. For the most part borders return to how they were (Russia was unwilling to subsidize Serbian insanity) minus the creation of Romania as a kind of buffer between Russia and Turkey. Unusually, Russia also raises a monument in Moscow for the fallen dead and sends reparations to Constantinople, much to the deep anger of many Russians (particularly Orthodox faithful) who accuse the government of being weak and demand stronger action against the eternal Turk. -Unusually, Russia grants the Duchy of Warsaw nominal independence and greatly annoy Prussia and Austria, for it begins to inspire Polish nationalists in both countries. This comes as part of a general movement now coming together throughout Russia as liberalising reforms are slowly passed. Local rural councils are established for the first time and talk of emancipation is in the air, although little comes of it so far. Many nobles are loathe to free their peasants and give up their ancient right to beat them senseless. But (as the argument goes), if they are freed, then they can work wherever they like (such as the growing iron and coal mines in European Russia, or the gold ones in Alaska, or even in factories where their limbs can be mangled by machines.) -Colonisation continues in Russian Alaska, where gold mining begins and peasants are imported to help exploit the land for its natural resources. Of course American and British prospectors are likewise attracted and skirmishes frequently break out. Soon the United States begins establishing forts further west, as do the British, and tensions worsen. Small wars break out between many of the tribes in proxy conflicts, and the USA issues land grants and proclamations over Oregon. Both America and Britain begin pressuring the Russian ambassadors over the issue. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250451821477232640/434398657719042089/unknown.png Sardinia-Piedmont - Pezgod1 Capital: Turin -The colony in Africa remains an embarrassment, but that doesn't stop the Kingdom from sending over more men and starting a programme of systematic "clearances". Troops and ships arrive in the now-named Port Alighieri where they build a better fort and begin supplying quinine to the soldiers (who begin slaughtering the locals en masse and burning down villages). This understandably draws them into conflict with the Warri, who send a large invasion force which is ultimately defeated after the capital is shelled by naval bombardment and soon Warri itself collapses after Benin invades. As Italy builds more ships, they also build a port in Africa for them. With a strong position the Italians become the most powerful African nation. -It becomes obvious that the King is mad. This year he begins proposing a whole manner of insane moves, such as nationwide circumcision (after passing, it causes great uproar and rioting) and signing an alliance with Prussia. Everything looks like its going badly until a ship bringing a steam train to Sardinia is supposedly attacked by Tunisian raiders and stolen. Instantly the Italians forget their petty issues of avoiding starvation and sulphur fumes to demand that an invasion of Tunisia and the scoundrels brought to justice. The free press does likewise, declaring that enlightened civilization must be brought to them lest they bring cultural enrichment to Italy. -With war fervour on the rise and imperial ambitions growing, quiet diplomats who take Saturdays as their day of rest begin signing treaties with other Italian states to promote cross-border rail travel and perhaps even a future customs union. It doesn't progress very far, especially with the pressure from both France and Austria to keep Italy divided (although this is easy enough considering that the Italians all hate one another). Despite political pressure, thin rails of iron begin weaving their way over the land and houses dating back to the Roman period are blown up to make room for them, in accordance with the old Roman tradition of destroying old burial mounds and religious sites to make room for their roads and bridges.
https://i.imgur.com/8HYTdVV.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIlKlUiVHec "We must face the fact that the purely free society will have a flourishing free market in children" - Murray Rothbard Events of 1840: -The first world anti-slavery convention is held in London with a goal to ending slavery in other countries. At the same time, Parliament attemps to pass a bill limiting working hours for children to 10 a day (it fails). -The United states holds the 1840 census, recording that 6000 negroes own slaves. Most of them vote Democrat. -Napoleons dead body is brought back to France with much fanfare, where he is buried in an elaborate ceremony. At the same time, his counterpart for South America (Simon Bolivar) is brought to London where his body is put on public display by Lord Beckenridge, to the delight of the London crowds and deep anguish of the South Americans. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -Through the port of Lagos, Sokoto imports western ideas and goods. A consulate is established for western powers (and the Damagaram sultanate), while (jewish) emissaries travel out from the port to buy printing presses from Sardinia and establish relations with them. One Sardinian merchant even helps establish a paper mill in Sokoto, and begins asking landowners to grow cotton, woad, sugar, and tobacco for him for export. -Sokoto introduces many new and unreasonable military reforms such as banning sex slaves from camps and requiring officers to stop taking bribes in the open where people can see them. Many quit in disgust (and to receive generous pensions), forcing Sokoto to hire peasants and train them to become new officers with western advisors helping out. Many levies are also being reorganised into standing militias with regular training.  -Some clerics are upset with the new quran copies made by printing press, for they look very ugly and lack gold leaf trimming. Bureacrats further annoy them by interrogating them for a "census". Questions include the number of livestock and wives you own. Some landless peasants escape to settle the west bank of the Niger, but the census clerks find them anyways. Soldiers make sure they answer the questions correctly. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -The Qing Emperor introduces a land-value tax in China after reading the complete works of Mencius, although he doesn't abolish other taxes. The overtaxed Chinese peasantry hardly rejoice, and with nothing to alleviate their problems many more of them continue to fall into debt and poverty. Some resort to robbery and unrest rises throughout the countryside. One hopeful lad fails the imperial exams so badly he seals himself away in his bedroom and makes a tulpa for company. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -Brazil begins demobilizing as the rebellions end, even as the Riograndese Republic formally declares independence. Unfortunately so do do the people of Juliana, who refuse Brazillian rule and seek to join the Riograndese in a confederation. The 14 year old Emperor finally ends the regency after he becomes "burnt out" on fortnite and resolves to rule Brazil instead. -After passing his latin exam with a solid B and being forbidden to buy Monster energy drinks, Pedro II starts a national survey asking what people want. It excludes slaves and other livestock, but most people desire "law and order", "lower taxes", "less corruption", and "land reform". The last is usually taken to mean that the landless and poor want free land. -In a historic first, a nationwide police force is established for all of Brazil. Directly run from Rio de Janeiro, it is also incredibly corrupt, underfunded, useless, and the public don't like the look of their uniforms. Finding the job of government difficult and stressful, Pedro II starts watching Pewdiepie videos and playing Minecraft instead. https://i.imgur.com/2EY5hLR.png Russian Empire - Van Kaeo Capital: St Petersburg -Mexico sells Russia much of northern California in return for gold and some frigates, leaving them a vast area of desolate land. Both the USA and Britain consider Russia to have gone too far and threaten war, citing violations of old boundary treaties and the fact Russia has sent over soldiers and built forts. France offers to mediate, but an undeclared war is already underway in Oregon as local militias fight and both Britain and the USA mobilise. -Russia continues sending settlers and soldiers to Oregon at great expense to push east more aggressively, with ambassadors in the concerned countries now angrily arguing with one another. The US congress in particular calls for war, an ironic development considering that several American statesmen are helping to draft a constitution for Russia based on the American one. The Tsar is already debating new reforms, and is even considering introducing a parliament. Regionalist movements start sending hopeful petitions asking for greater autonomy from the Tsar. -Closer to home, most peasants still plough the soil with wooden ploughs, drink vodka until they go blind, and typically have eight or so children before dying in their thirties. Further west the more enterprising Polish peasantry have long dug pits where they collect seep oil for fuel. The Tsar granted one entrepenuer a license to build a kerosene distillery this year in Poland, in order to take advantage of this useful resource.  https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -The Columbian Army manages to finally squash the last of the rebels, concluding with a major assault on Panama assisted by naval ships shelling onshore orphanages. To celebrate that the unity of the nation has been preserved, a grand parade is held in the capital, although many are upset that Bolivars corpse is on public display in London and attack the British embassy. -With conflict over, trade restrictions are lifted and the ports open. Tariff reductions have no effect, exports of cash crops continue as before. However the growing merchant marine fleet (backed by the Columbian navy) now proudly handles most exports (previously British and Spanish merchants handled them). Columbian shipyards are also seeing more orders as confidence improves. -New projects are also being carried out now that the government has money and time to waste on feelgood schemes. A department of infrastructure is established to improve roads, of which there are none, while the new education board now oversees the nonexistant education of Columbia. What little education exists is handled by the Catholic church (whose main priority is removing curses and exorcising demons.) https://i.imgur.com/mgFLZm0.png Japan – .Del Capital: Edo -With the Satsuma rebellion growing out of control and Simpsons fans being openly attacked in the streets, the Shogunate sends an army to crush the rebellion and inexplicably raises taxes just to drive home how much that they hate commoners. Different domains raise in rebellion, and the Shogunate forces are defeated and forced to make a brave and honorable retreat to Edo. -With Japan collapsing into civil war, it would follow that somebody would step in to take charge. This didn't happen, for as Satsuma marches on the capital the other clans rally and drive them back, and then disagree on what to do next. By the end of the year, different daimyos have formed coalitions to fight one another - the time of Sengoku Jidai has returned. -The Shogun quickly loses control over most of Japan, but not before realising just how badly he fucked up. He commits suicide to restore his honour, but discovers to his horror that suicide is a sin, and so he goes to hell. He is additionally tortured by having all six seasons of "Ed, Edd, n Eddy" beamed into his eyes for all eternity.
There still slots open for this? Tempted to play the Kingdom of Bavaria, if possible.
Sure, send in a turn by friday tia
Want to be friends with Rossiya?
Wouldn't hurt to have a big friend to combat the Prussian menace
Yeah fuck Prussia!
https://i.imgur.com/WdQsf1k.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tw-95-u0Bo "I'll go anywhere as long as it's forward" - David Livingstone Events of 1841: -Mexico invades Texas with their reformed army, smashing the Texan forces and capturing San Antonio. The government begs the USA for help, and William Henry Harrison is forced to scrap his elaborate speech in favour of a shorter one regarding the war. He refuses to help Texas and establishes the Second Bank of the United States and gives over Oregon to Russia, causing rioting in Washington DC. To quell unrest he declares war on Mexico. -The Federal Republic of Central America enters political crisis as different parts of the country threaten to break away and the central government becomes increasingly unpopular. Unless action is taken, the future of this nation is in grave doubt.  -HMS Erebus and HMS Terror sail around Antarctica looking for an entrance through the ice wall closing off the world from Supermans Antarctic lair and Hitlers Aryan perfection center (they are unaware that both are the same facility), instead finding and naming the Ross Ice shelf and Mount Terror.  https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -Military reforms continue to gather pace as soldiers are now encouraged to intermarry and to say "Salah" during drill. The new generation of officers have received a minimal level of training, enough that the Western Advisors are confident enough to let them use artillery pieces. New militias also act as policing forces throughout the country, although when there is (on average) one person to police 30,000 in an area the size of Wales the challenges are all too apparent. -A series of economic projects are announced to establish new quarries and mines for building stone and iron, while "enclosure" acts steal the ancestral common lands to give to people who could turn a profit by it. More mad policies see large numbers of slaves freed by conversion to Islam, and soon there are many landless and restless niggers throughout Sokoto. Some find work in the new mines and quarries or as agricultural labourers, but a great many more form gangs, rap, and become Democrat voters. -Contact with the outside world grows, especially after the British send an expedition up the Niger river and talk to the Caliph at one point before most of them die to malaria. Despite this, the Caliph is inspired to send envoys to Europe to study their methods of manufacture and acquire European architects to help redesign and rebuild Sokoto to become a modern city, with a goal to removal of all shitting streets by 1850 (a full three centuries before India). Although money is short and the regions are reluctant to carry on his reforms, the Caliph also begins keeping all his records in Ajami script. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -After having an extra long lie-in bed, the Emperor announces a bunch of weird new policies. He reduces taxes (excepting the land tax) and repeals restrictions on merchant numbers and new mine workings. He also bans sinecures, resulting in most of his extended family becoming unemployed and very angry with him. A murdered enuch is later discovered in the Forbidden Palace, his testicles missing. -Other new laws ban debt-slavery and forces landowners to pay taxes in kind if they can't make up the difference in money. Many commoners are quite pleased with the news (most of all the merchantile ones), although many of the nobility are unhappy (as are the ethnic minorities) with the government. The failed imperial examinee later converts to Christianity after reading Jordon Petersons magnum opus "Clean your penis". https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -The Riograndese Republic receives an emissary from Brazil, who tells them to stop their provocative behaviours. When it becomes apparent no action is taken, both them and Juliana create a united "Riograndese Confederation" and expel Brazillian troops in addition to raising their own forces. The 15-year old Emperor (who recently has taken to taking thirty minute showers and dying his hair black) announces that he stands with the United States against Russian aggression. He later receives a letter informing him they sorted out their differences without hearing of his input. -Empowered to action after watching a video of Jeremy Corbyn making a passionate case for nationalization, Pedro II orders all three of the cotton factories in Brazil nationalised and the industry regeared toward national interests (deeply upsetting foreign investors in the process). To convince foreign capital back, he cuts taxes (especially on luxury goods that the rich enjoy), to the great happiness of all Brazillians. It is in this context that he is crowned on July 18th, having been first forced to remove his leather choker and wristbands. -To one-up Britain, the Brazillian parliament passes a law mandating a maximum ten hour working day for state-owned work facilities and encourages other industries to do likewise (few do). After this, Brazil bans circumcision and deeply angers the tiny Jewish community there, who declare that their plans for global domination have been set back as a consequence and that it will become incredibly difficult to collect enough children for sacrifice to Moloch in Brazil if the Jewish community is restricted. https://i.imgur.com/2EY5hLR.png Russian Empire - Snobbery Capital: St Petersburg -The rather small country of Russia began a campaign of military expansion, invading Kokand, Khiva, and Bukhara (it doesn't turn out to be easy to subjugate three countries at once.) The army is also made busy putting down a tax rebellion in Georgia. Similar minor adventures take place in America before the Tsar signs a "final" treaty with the United States dividing up the northwest. While the public is outraged, the President is reluctant to go to war and is accused of Russian sympathies (and when forced he goes to war with Mexico), in spite of obtaining northern California. Many Americans living in Oregon refuse to recognise the Tsar and attack tax collectors. -A trickle of Russians continue to move to Oregon, hampered by the prohibitive cost and slowness of travel. Despite the high cost of defending and colonizing Alaska, the Tsar begins drawing up plans to "colonize Africa" and funds an expedition. When the Russian fleet sets sail, the British navy shadows them menacingly. Parliament soon votes to expel the Russian ambassador - claiming that he tried to poison Lord Beckenridge for refusing to sell him Simon Bolivars corpse (which he wished to stuff and mount in his study). -New reforms allowing local governors to act more independently are introduced, and landowners now also have the right to elect the governors rather than the Tsar directly appointing them. Whats more, the Tsar introduces a constitution for the Russian Empire for the very first time. It is praised widely by progressives, who sip wine and congratulate themselves while the serfs continue to toil in the fields or occasionally die of cholera. It's not all bad though, one Pole now sells kerosene in the empire on an exclusive Imperial monopoly (and is getting rich by it). The lack of kerosene lamps does hamper expansion however. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250451821477232640/434398657719042089/unknown.png Sardinia-Piedmont - Pezgod1 Capital: Turin -Sardinia declares war on Tunisia, sending down a fleet and shelling Tunis. The move completely catches everyone offguard, the Sardinian navy most of all. The navy then lands a military force and occupies the city of Tunis, taking care to blockade the whole country and ferry in reinforcements.  -Despite it being an obvious aggressive move and completely unprovoked, Sardinia goes on to send diplomats to France to keep them distracted while another team goes to Constantinople to convince the sultan to turn Tunisia into a Sardinian protectorate. Having recently lost numerous wars and in decline, the Sultan gives in and by the end of the year Tunisia is made a protectorate. The move impresses several Italian states, who begin to look to Sardinia as a major power. France however begins to redirect naval resources to the Mediterranean. -The Sardinian-Tunisian war (having come so quickly and having been finished so soon) proves to be a major bolster to the prestige of the Kingdom, which then goes on to boast about the success of Port Alighieri (a collection of wooden and stone slums filled with malaria victims) and parliament easily passes another bill earmarking more funds to naval expansion. Funds also help build a new fortified complex in Port Alighieri, hopefully good enough to allow a permament office and naval base to be stationed there. https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -The naval board begins ordering more frigates (quite a few of them actually), with enough firepower to reduce large coastal fortifications of the kind currently used by Venezuela or Ecuador, although the latter nation is far less capable of protecting itself. Being the shittest country in South America, Ecuador cannot convince immigrants to come and bolster the ranks of their weak army. -The infrastructure board begins investigating the possibility of building railways, with two proposals. One would see a railway built in Panama to help the overland route between the seas, and the other is building a line alongside the Magdelena River. With no plans at all in place for a rail line, they instead begin improving roads in both areas, although many of the workers in Panama die from malaria and other nasty diseases. Luckily Colombia has not legalised sodomy, and so none of the workers fear catching AIDS. -The farce of Bolivars corpse continues as the government begins negotiations with Britain to return his dead body. The country takes out a loan from Britain and buys the body with it, leaving Lord Beckenridge one of the richest men in England. The dessicated corpse is returned in a grand ceremony, especially after one girl who touched the corpse is cured of her polio. The local Catholic churches quickly petition the Vatican to canonize the man.
[quote=Niedzielnarz]Parliament soon votes to expel the Russian ambassador - claiming that he tried to poison Lord Beckenridge for refusing to sell him Simon Bolivars corpse (which he wished to stuff and mount in his study).[/quote] wat
https://i.imgur.com/0OZxMa3.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPM14CM8HUs "We will do what we can to minimise the suffering of the Afghan people as a result of the conflict." - Tony Blair Events of 1842: -The Mexican invasion of Texas continued this year with many great successes for the Mexican army. Years of reform and military expansion, an efficient postal service, and new weaponry has allowed it to meet Texas on a better footing. Houston is occupied and the Texan government flees in exile to the USA, who has sent naval forces to blockade Mexico while an overland army is trying to relieve Texas. In the west, Mexico suffers minor losses to Russia, who joins the war. -The first anesthetic is administered to a dental patient this year, who winces after the needle is put into the roof of his mouth and complains about how weird his mouth feels afterwards.  -Britain goes on several military adventures, managing to embarass Russia in west Africa and concurrently embarrassing itself by losing an entire army and a war in Afghanistan with the loss of many innocent lives. The enraged British parliament sends soldiers to Afghanistan again (they raze Kabul), something it would repeat with a similar degree of success and benevolence 160 years later. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -The Caliph calls for war after three years of uninterrupted peace - a record that has since to be beaten - and invades the varied petty kingdoms of the Igbo peoples. They resist bitterly but are unable to stop the better-armed and led Sokoto army. Major successes see the seizure of many fortified towns, for which the Caliph awards generous promotions and land to his soldiers. By the end of the year half of the area has been subjugated and a future ethnic conflict is already well underway. -More westerners come, bringing strange ideas and machines with them. Easily impressed, the Caliph orders houses of pigshit which stood for centuries to be torn down. In their place the westerns begin erecting new stone buildings for the government, including a university which is so far ahead of its time that both the student demographics and the courses on offer (islamic law) matches a typical 21st century London university. The Sokototese with an IQ over 110 (both of them) flock there. -Economic policy is unusually high on the Caliphs list of reforms, and he attempts to alleviate the gangs issue by employing people to dig canals and other water-engineering projects. Unfortunately the state is too weak and poor to enforce such control over such a vast area, and many individual emirs ignore central edicts. The market for crops expands as many landowners begin taking advantage of the new Port Alighieri to market to the outside world and import western luxuries. To improve profits Emirs begin treating slaves as capital goods, breeding them and preventing their conversion to islam. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -Shanghai and Tianjin are opened up to foreign trade for the first time, allowing more foreign merchants (and quiet missionaries) to enter the country. While the Emperor assures his subjects there is nothing to fear, authorities from the regions do report a spike of conversions to Christianity and the establishment of other "Illegal cults" which are beginning to organise alongside other civic organisations. Attacks on tax collectors and unpopular Manchu continues, especially in the south. -To try and quell the unrest, the Imperial palace finally opens up positions in the imperial government to ethnic minorities and the wealthy, something that the aristocracy and bureacrats find utterly appalling. They criticise the emperor by arguing that he would "put unqualified brown devils ahead of the qualified civilized", as they currently do in the modern United States. While it does open up new perspectives, it generates a great deal of internal opposition and the Emperor finds it harder to enforce his edicts. -With the recent murders and court intrigues, the Emperor starts an investigation into the enuch murder and begins an "anti-corruption campaign", which in Chinese politics is usually taken to mean removing the dumb and evil in favour of the smart and evil. However the very first move of the campaign was to arrest a high official with contacts. One thing led to another, and a small army in the Forbidden City tried to pull off a coup against the Emperor, but they are thwarted by the timely warning of Lord Beckenridge (who happened to be in the same gay bar as the plotters when he overheard them). The plotters have to flee before loyalist forces arrive. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -During a fit brought on by losing a PUBG match to some "cheating chinks", Emperor Pedro II receives news about the Riograndese Confederation and decides to invade the fledgling nation. Dressed like a secondrate Mettaton Ex, Pedro then gives a speech to parliament about how he has decided to make Brazil secular after he joined Reddit, becoming embarrassed at how backwards Brazil is. The Catholic church is upset with his decision, especially as now jews and atheists can establish synagogues and use convention centres respectively. -The Riograndese war starts off well to begin with, especially because explosive shells are starting to be used in warfare, and so the coastal towns have been blown up along with all their orphanages. To make his point to the seperatists clear, Pedro pens them an incoherent letter claiming he can wipe them out with utter precision using the aid of his secret network of spies. The Brazillian army marches in and gives battle, successfully securing the northern part of the country but suffering a major setback when a storm kills all of their horses. -Later this year, parliament introduced a land reform bill which Pedro signed without reading. When told that it would give unused land over to farmer cooperatives, he asks what a cooperative is and has to have it explained to him. Not only is more land being brought into cultivation, but a railway company is established as well this year. It buys three of the most advanced and beautiful locomotives from Britain, putting them on public display in Rio de Janeiro and charging a fee to see it, deriving a massive profit despite the engines having never been used.  https://i.imgur.com/2EY5hLR.png Russian Empire - Snobery Capital: St Petersburg -The Tsar realises that the Georgians (practically savages christened by the wrong name) are not worth the effort of ruling and decides to grant them independence. With more lands being given away, the rise of autonomy, and nationalism on the rise there are now peoples all throughout the empire who are busy agitating for more rights and freedoms. Petitions come in from everywhere, and students with their heads full of Hegelianism begin protesting en masse. The calls to end serfdom grow stronger, while nobility grow angry and deploy their land captains to crack down on the peasants. -Russia expels the British ambassador and ignores the British threats, sailing to West Africa and setting up a colony called "Kost" near Benin. However, many of the Russians are unused to the climate and die from malaria. Lord Beckenridge leads an expedition and captures the fort, sending the garrison back as prisoners to Brighton. A Russian resupply ship later arrives to find a disguised Beckenridge in blackface telling them the garrison went back home. When a frigate returns to force the British out, they discover Beckenridge absconded, having left the flagpole greased so that it cannot be climbed to remove the British flag. -With Mexico and America now at war, Russia decides to join on the American side to the great bemusement of Mexico. Russian forces capture parts of Northern California, then meet strong resistance further south when an Italian community organises a valiant defence at Yerba Buena and routs the Russian forces. The bad news reaches the Tsar, already stressed from having to deal with his lacklustre colony and severe budget shortfalls from the cost of colonizing and garrisoning the Pacific Northwest. The Russian government takes on debt due to the conflict there and in Bukhara, forcing it to shelve subsidies to the Polish kerosene industry. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250451821477232640/434398657719042089/unknown.png Sardinia-Piedmont - Pezgod1 Capital: Turin -As Sardinia grows stronger and more influential, the King begins a systematic outreach to the other Italian states in order to convince them of his superiority and prestige. He starts by ordering more ships and an expansion of the shipyards. With revolutionary groups on the rise throughout Italy likewise, Austria begins sending over more soldiers to hold down Lombardy. Relations continue to sour as it becomes clear that the Piedmontese are agitating nationalists, a charge denied in spite of the fact that many Facebook pages calling for Italian unification are run by admins from Piedmont. -Overseas the Sardinians enjoy considerable success in the Tunisian protectorate, introducing western schooling and forcing the country to open up to western trade and LGBT rights organisations. Not only is there now a substantial naval base, but soon factories will fill the city soon enough. Many of these factories were built by industrialists from Piedmont, who have recently started making tinned food for armies and navies. It will however take years before the Tunisians speak Italian, eat spaghetti, and become notoriously unreliable allies. -The Sardinian King becomes wildly overjoyed at the prospect of building an overseas empire, and soon Sardinia has not only annexed Walvis Bay (building a fort and naval base), but it has also managed to gain trade concessions in China and Johore (the latter after gunboat diplomacy). Madagascar meets with less success (the Queen refuses to allow the Sardinians trade access unless they can guarantee her from France and Britain) and formally designate Port Alighieri as the main administrative centre of their overseas empire, with the Sardinian dialect of Italian spreading along with the traders. While profitable, the colonies unfortunately suffer from an extremely high attrition due to tropical diseases. https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -The Colombian President gives a grand 12,000 word speech in front of Simon Bolivars monument, declaring he would reunify Gran Columbia and finish what Simon started. To great cheers his soldiers then march off into Ecuador and shoot anybody in the way. Holding the Cordillera mountain range, the army marches down the flatlands to surround and besiege Quito. Concurrently a naval invasion from the north supports Colombia. Against a better armed and experienced enemy, the weak Ecuadorian government is forced to abandon the capital. -After seizing the capital, the president gives yet another (longer) speech about how great Simon Bolivar was, before an old woman threw a roof tile at him and cracked the back of his neck, paralyzing him. She is turned into a folk hero by the Ecuadorians, who have fled into the southern countryside to hold out against the Colombians despite losing the capital. Venezuela declares war in support of Ecuador, but their invasion progresses slowly and they make only piecemeal gains in the east of Colombia before a counteroffensive throws them back. -The crippled Colombian president is taken around the country on parade with the hopes of inspiring recruitment drives for the nation. Despite being capable of nothing but drooling, the people find him mesmerizing (especially after he is tied to a horse and charges into battle, coming out unscatched) and take up arms. Some aspects of total war are evident even this early as patriotic ladies sew uniforms, make bandages, and transport them to the soldiers. Even the whores declare their patriotism, and give out their services to the soldiers for free.
https://i.imgur.com/cOYDRjs.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe-GrRQz8pk "I believe the time must come when many will question the manner of American emancipation of the negro slaves in 1863. " - Alexander II Events of 1843: -The American navy and army manages to win back control of Texas from Mexico despite heavy losses. Although there are calls to seize more land, President Harrison pushes for peace with Mexico and a return to the status quo ante, with the additional caveat of Texas voting on statehood. Texas does so, and becomes an American state. -The Japanese civil war escalates with the entry of France into the conflict, giving support to the Bakufu as it manages to build a professional and modern army up from nearly nothing. -The Nicuraguan confederation is formed as the Federal Republic of Central America splits into two parts, with conflict soon ending and the countries now facing a happy future of two centuries of irrelevance and poverty. https://i.imgur.com/YtlhCZg.png Sokoto Caliphate – Native Hunter Capital: Sokoto -With land and black people at a premium in Africa, the Caliph decides that invading the Kingdom of Dahomey is a worthwhile endeavor. In the space of a few short months the armies(with a little help from Benin) have sliced up or shot all the opposing soldiers and set fire to a few towns for good measure. However it is nowhere near enough, and so the Caliph expands the size of his army to about fifty thousand (many of whom do not exist) and begins building a lot of fortifications that would rival any neolithic rampart all throughout Nigeria. -With the success of the west more evident with every passing day, the caliph then creates a pale imitation of a parliament he calls a "House of Emirs" where every emir has the right to vote on stuff as long as they give up the right to raise soldiers. It is immediately flooded by the middling gentry who begin taking control of the budget and passing laws in favour of agricultural exploitation. The more powerful emirs refuse to join the house and begin fighting the Caliph over the new laws it keeps passing, demanding a right of veto. The army finds itself short of money for the first time, the house having voted against budget increases. -After several gunboats make a formal visit, the Caliph is all too happy to allow the British and French to establish embassies in Sokoto, where they will import western things in return for things of value produced by niggers. As the balance sheet is very lopsided, the Caliph begins allowing banks and factories to be established and Emirs are given more economic rights. The inevitable consequence is a sudden intrusion of western agents who bring money and jews with them. Unrest in the rural parts grows, and later this year many peasants become penniless after cotton prices crash suddenly. Some emirs begin using their new powers to tie peasants to their plantations. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/380547070802788362/424378544769073162/fleg.png Qing China – Ruskie Capital: Beijing -After the dreadful experience of nearly getting killed for having different beliefs, the Emperor sets up the "Ministry of the Internal" and fills it with his own appointees, who help him to clear out the bureacracy of people connected to the failed coup and replace it with less competent but more loyal men. He uses the excuse to gut the deep state, blaming the coup attempt on Hillary Clinton having deleted thirty wan of emails. Calling for an investigation, the Emperor sends an army after the plotters and discovers that they are all tied to powerful individuals, all in Manchuria! Esteemed comptroller Chinkenridge (who is dressed in shabby Manchurian clothing and has his fingers constantly pulling his eyelids to the sides) suggests it could be a French plot. -In a panic and to placate the angry Han, the Emperor marries off his heir to a Han girl (causing much disgust within the Manchu court) and begins hiring more ethnic Han to the bureacracy. Most notable is that many of them are required to have a basic working knowledge of maths and agriculture (essentially the gentry) and these ambitious climbers are only too happy to receive steady employment instead of having to write hacks for PUBG. The trade comissioners also begin letting Sardinian merchants access all major ports, on the condition that they pay the "Italian tax" to make up for it. The proceeds of the tax go towards ritually cleansing and purifying any earth that an Italian happens to set on. -The failed plotters in Manchuria become desperate, initially blaming the uneducated poor for not supporting them, and later Russia. They raise the banner of rebellion in Manchuria and begin gathering an army, hoping to march on Beijing to remove the Emperor lest he destroy Manchuria. Many of the Manchurians fear immigration from China will destroy their nation, and to prove it they point to the Willow Hedge (built to control trade and illegal immigrants) which has been in neglect for many years and has allowed the Han to bypass it. The Han themselves are still not too pleased for the country is still under the grip of bandit raids, village wars, harvest failure, and the rising influence of the cults. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/304711075478241280/424623538159353887/250px_Brazil.png Empire of Brazil – Firefox42 Capital: Rio de Janeiro -At the age of seventeen, Pedro II is married to a fat girl which he finds upsetting because her ass to boob ratio is "way off" and she isn't very pretty. After being convinced out of his room following a crying fit, he marries her and has some unsatisfying sex (this actually happened, look it up). The only good piece of news to cheer up the boy is that the Brazillian army managed to capture many Riograndese horses and were able to continue the push south, occupying much of the confederation and driving the rebels out into the wilderness. Their movement almost totally crushed, Brazil is finally experiencing a degree of near-complete political unity for the first time in its troubled history.  -The military losses, budget shortfall, and having a bad wife all combine poorly to cause numerous problems for the government, which opts to solve the problem by printing a lot of propaganda leaflets and boasting about the great successes Brazil has acheived and is currently on the way to acheiving. This includes the first railway line, a few miles of which opened this year in the Port of Maua (the groundbreaking was last year, the company using the funds from visitor fees to the engines to pay for the construction). It serves as a local novelty and secondarily also services the port. It manages to make even more money, and on weekends they allow the rich to take locomotives for joyrides. It may have greater potential yet. https://i.imgur.com/2EY5hLR.png Russian Empire - Snobery Capital: St Petersburg -The Tsars nephew comes to him and reveals that he has a lot of unpaid gambling debts, which inevitably has to be paid by the Russian government. Short of money, the Tsar decides to cancel his colonial expeditions to Africa and brings back his soldiers from America (much to the upset of the president). He still maintains the steady expansion into Central Asia, using cossacks to convince the Muslims there that they would be better off under their rule than that of the British. As for the rest of the army, he orders them to drill and for officers to receive educations, which of course all costs money. Most soldiers had to take part time jobs to earn enough money to pay for equipment and food, badly affecting military performance. -Another problem for Russia is that many of her soldiers are illiterate peasants, and these peasants resemble less a strong backbone of Russia, and rather more a primitive notochord. The Tsar finally announces the emancipation of the serfs, granting them freedom on the condition that the landowners take ownership of the land and the peasants have to pay off very large debts in compensation. Understandably not everybody is happy and there are several riots led by peasants who are angry at having to sell all they have to meet debt payments. The students then follow up by demanding the Tsar introduce a Duma and allow the press greater freedom, and formally ban Lord Beckenridge from entering Russia after he gave a speech in the British House of Commons where he read out a list of every noblewoman in Russia while making humping motions and comparing the sizes of their breasts and arses, to the great amusement of the MPs. -Copying Brazil and being far in advance of British industrial safety regulations, which decrees maximum working hours of ten a day and weekends free (with people free to work longer if they wish). This law is completely impossible to enforce outside of the cities, and even within them it is seldom enforced. The secret police in Russia have little interest in mediating industrial disputes, and the regular police does not exist at all. While the cities are growing, they still represent a fraction of the population and industrial development in Russia lags. The only major project on which these rules are enforces is the Moscow to St Petersburg Railway, which is currently halfway completed and has suffered the loss of only twelve hundred lives. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/250451821477232640/434398657719042089/unknown.png Sardinia-Piedmont - Pezgod1 Capital: Turin -Having bullied Tunis and many other places, Sardinia now sails to Oman with a goal to publically raping the Sultans wife in public before him. To acheive this the naval shells the ports of Oman and blockades their trade, managing to land a force on Zanzibar and seizing it in the name of the King. The Omani sultan (already deeply humiliated) is forced to cede Zanzibar to the Sardinians and grant them preferential trade and naval access. Having acheived more in a decade than Italy had acheived collectively after the Romans, King Charles declares he will found the Italian customs union and invites all interested parties to it. -The French and Austrians grow increasingly alarmed at these developments, now threatening to take action (especially Austria) due to the unrest it has brought about throughout Italy and the danger of a power inbalance. Already the liberal nationalists have come into favour in Piedmont and now agitate throughout Italy for a unified Italian nation. Voting reforms have given the franchise to most of the middle classes, while the customs union manages to get all of the Italian states save for Lombardy-Venetia (a holding of the Austrian Empire). After anti-Austrian uprisings in Lombardy, the Austrian army is sent in to crush the rebels. Many of them flee into Piedmont, with Austria now formally demanding their extradition. -With the threat of war looming, the King sends an ambassador to London asking for an alliance and receives an audience, where the British press and government offer their full support to the unification of Italy. The British are also keen to support their colonial ambitions to help thwart French ambitions and to gain use of Sardinian ports. Madagascar remains cautious to outsiders (fearing that the British will bring homosexuality to their country), but they agree to a trade treaty with Sardinia where a small consulate and trading outpost is established in return for guns that the Queen can use to shoot her rivals. https://i.imgur.com/S6sQK9U.png New Colombia – Crossu88 Capital: Bogota -With Ecuador now mostly under Colombian control, the armies march north to seize the mountain pass at San Cristobal and then advance along the northern plains aided by the navy. Unfortunately it is a tough campaign and many inevitably die from disease (Quinine is only so useful despite the government buying large stocks of it). The invasion of Maracaibo goes well to begin with, when quite suddenly the Venezuelans pull off a dastardly trick. Lord Beckenridge is seen leading a team of Venezuelans to the Pantheon of heroes, and using several barrels of gunpowder they blast a way in and steal the corpse once more (Beckenridge revealed in his later memoirs he did this so he could be the only man to have owned the body twice) to take to Caracas. It proves a massive psychological blow in spite of the major successes in the war so far, and Ecuador remains difficult to subjugate. -Despite the setbacks, Ecuador is annexed and the laws are superseded, requiring in turn a great deal of land reform. Many aristocrats critical of the new regime lose their lands to the commoners, who then begin planting opium poppies in the hopes of making some cash. Much of Colombia has started to grow poppies in increasing numbers ever since its introduction, and now there are people starting to casually use it (or sell it for export). While the church is hostile, the lack of law and the chaos of war does mean that quite a few people and farms have managed to slip through the cracks. The Colombian government now finds itself short of cash, something likely not helped by the expensive and extensive propaganda campaign. Leaflets and posters have been printed and put up all over Colombia to promote the cause of a unified Colombia, something undermined by Simon Bolivars corpse being reported as missing. -After a lengthy legal battle between the relatives of the incapable President and the court, it is deemed neccessary to have him die because he is braindead and so is already a living corpse and needs to be left to die. When he doesn't die, the court orders the doctors to smother him and then embalm him before it is revealed he is still alive, eventually drowning from his lungs filling with embalming fluid. His body is then put up on display and is quickly blessed by an archbishop in the hopes it will inspire the people to continue the war.
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