• Man sexually attracted to playground equipment banned from anywhere with a slide
    54 replies, posted
[QUOTE]A man with a fetish for children's playground equipment has been banned from going anywhere which has a slide. Christopher Johnson, aged 46, of St Osburg's Road in Stoke, was arrested after simulating a sex act with a slide at Stoke Green Park in Coventry, the Coventry Telegraph reports. It's his second slide-related offence. At Coventry Magistrates Court he admitted outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner and received a three-year Criminal Behaviour Order. The order bans him from attending any location, including parks, leisure centres, swimming baths, lidos or recreation grounds were there is a slide.[/QUOTE] [url]www.examiner.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-sexually-attracted-playground-equipment-10098272[/url]
What. The. Fuck.
Now THIS is a news story! Someone call CNN!
"In my defense, your honor, that slide was giving me bedroom eyes."
*imagines the police keeping an eye on him near a playground* Police: "JOHNSON QUICK HE'S GOING FOR THE.... slide?"
[QUOTE=PatrickT;48734028]*imagines the police keeping an eye on him near a playground* Police: "JOHNSON QUICK HE'S GOING FOR THE.... slide?"[/QUOTE] its in the UK so... "Bloody hell, Smith he's going for the fuck in' slide!"
I wonder if he prefers straight or swirly slides.
[quote]It's his second slide-related offence.[/quote] I can just imagine the journalist typing this, pausing for a good sigh at the fact that he's actually writing this and then continuing.
Well, what stops him from buying his own cheap toy playground shit to fap with in his bedroom? Doesn't have to be in fucking public.
[QUOTE=Feuver;48734062]Well, what stops him from buying his own cheap toy playground shit to fap with in his bedroom? Doesn't have to be in fucking public.[/QUOTE] That's like the fleshlight of slides, man. Gotta go for the [b]REAL DIRTY DEAL[/b]
so the news article appears to want to protect the identity of the slide [img]http://i3.examiner.co.uk/incoming/article10098305.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/slide.jpg[/img]
The world is so crazy now I'm surprised they didn't let this guy [B][U][I]slide[/I][/U][/B]
I have no words. :unimpressed:
[QUOTE=Eva-1337;48733995]"In my defense, your honor, that slide was giving me bedroom eyes."[/QUOTE] "She didn't have any rails, your honor. She was asking for it."
This is worse than the person on 4chan with the fetish for tile patterns.
A £60 victim surcharge? Does that go to touching up the slide's paint?
I just want to know how this dude could have sex with a slide. Or why he even pops a bone at the sight of a slide in the first place.
The media will never let this slide
they took away the only thing he loves in life!!!
[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;48734052]I can just imagine the journalist typing this, pausing for a good sigh at the fact that he's actually writing this and then continuing.[/QUOTE] Happens[I] all the time. [/I]
Well... I suppose it is better than diddling kids.
What about boat ramps? [IMG]https://travelsbyjones.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/pict0861.jpg?w=500[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Incoming.;48734796]What about boat ramps? [IMG]https://travelsbyjones.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/pict0861.jpg?w=500[/IMG][/QUOTE] jesus christ tag your nsfw
Man, the UK is getting weird these days.
I wonder if he went down on her
I just... I can't... How would.... Wut? :v:
It amazes me that people can get aroused just by anything.
holy shit guys the thread is filled already with puns just let them [I][B]slide[/B][/I]
So if he finds one of the big tubelike ones does he just slide it in?
[QUOTE=greasemunky;48735253]So if he finds one of the big tubelike ones does he just slide it in?[/QUOTE] Someone's already made that pun, dude. Careful, you're late once then all of a sudden you're being late all the time. It's a slippery slope.
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