I am an admin on a gmod build server that has very little rules and is open, so of course there are fail trolls abusing that. now, you can just ban/kick them with something as bland as "rdm." or, you can give them a reason that causes everyone on the server to laugh over it, which really helps the mood. so im hoping this thread generates a good list of hilarious reasons, and perhaps bring some positivism to these somewhat negative forums
here are some of my own
if you are being kicked for general stupidity;
-Intelligence level: SARAH PALIN
-Your school misses you, go back
-Your intelligence suggests you are the missing link between humans and apes
-this is GMOD, not a grammar school
If you are being kicked for rdm:
- this aint cawa duty
-it isnt nice to shoot people
-Thank you for testing our guns, your assistance is no longer required
- you 360 no scoping shooting skillz are awesome! Here is my 360 no scoping banning skillz!
If you are being banned for screaming into mic/ voice spam
- go give birth somewhere else
- we dont care about your dogs squeaky toy
- go see a voice therapist
- go see the FBI, your voice would make a great weopon
post your own silly ban/kick reasons here. you can post from actual events, or just make one up
Aw man, this isn't a ban or a kick, but it's kinda related. We have a system on our server called !prompt, in which we send the user a message and they cannot move or interact until it's answered. It's designed to be purposely intrusive. Obviously, we get some pretty stupid shit from people who just want the box to go away but this was ridiculous:
[quote]
Response received from chaza194: Halo is a multi-billion dollar science fiction video game franchise created by Bungie and now managed by 343 Industries and owned by Microsoft Studios. The series centers on an interstellar war between humanity and a theocratic alliance of aliens known as the Covenant. The Covenant are led by their religious leaders, The Prophets, and worship an ancient civilization known as the Forerunners, who perished in combat with the parasitic Flood. Many of the games center on the experiences of Master Chief John-117, a cybernetically enhanced human super-soldier, and his artificial intelligence (AI) companion, Cortana. The term "Halo" refers to the Halo rings: large, habitable structures that were created by the Forerunners to destroy the Flood. They are similar to the Orbitals in Iain M Banks' Culture novels, and author Larry Niven's Ringworld concept.[1][2]The games in the series have been praised as being among the best first-person shooters on a video game console, and are considered the Xbox's "killer app".[3] This has led to the term "Halo killer" being used to describe console games that aspire, or are considered, to be better than Halo.[4] Fueled by the success of Halo: Combat Evolved, and immense marketing campaigns from publisher Microsoft, its sequels went on to break various sales records. Halo 3 sold more than US$170 million worth of copies in the first twenty-four hours of release, breaking the record set by Halo 2 three years prior.[5][6] Halo: Reach, in turn, broke the record set by Halo 3, selling US$200 million worth of copies on its first day of release.[7] Continuing the trend, Halo 4 broke Halo: Reach's record on its opening day by grossing US$220 million. The games have sold over 50 million copies worldwide, with the games alone grossing almost $3.4 billion.[8][9]Strong sales of the games led to the franchise's expansion to other media; there are multiple bestselling novels, graphic novels, and other licensed products. Halo Wars took the franchise into new video game genre territory, as it is a real-time strategy game, while the rest of the games in the series are first-person shooters. Beyond the original trilogy, Bungie developed the expansion Halo 3: ODST, and a prequel, Halo: Reach, their last project for the franchise. A high-definition remake of the first game entitled Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary was released on November 15, 2011, exactly ten years after the release of the original. A new installment in a second series of games, Halo 4, was released on November 6, 2012.[/quote]
Edit:
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/UkeNI2G.png[/IMG]
I'm admin on a TTT server and probably one of the funniest things that happened was a guy (that I permabanned) who mass rdm'd while screaming AFLAC over and over
[video=youtube;O-EZf56AfYc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-EZf56AfYc[/video]
"I fucking told you to stop using directional gravity"
"Annoying 3 year old Fuck" Is my personal favorite. Usually I just make them up as I go along and they usually involve something sexual and a food for some reason
My personal favorite ban reason was always (raisin).
asshole poncho
You have been banned. Reason: "."
"nople."
"Why do either of us play this shitty game?"
Giving stupid reasons is being an unprofessional badmin. As an admin, you are representative of the server as a whole, and you should take pains to maintain an objective, calm, and unbiased attitude. By giving offensive or nonsensical reasons, whether for humor or out of pique, you're letting your emotions get in the way of your admin duties. Any kick or ban message should be clear, brief, and specific.
[QUOTE=Decoy Ocelot;42634152]Giving stupid reasons is being an unprofessional badmin. As an admin, you are representative of the server as a whole, and you should take pains to maintain an objective, calm, and unbiased attitude. By giving offensive or nonsensical reasons, whether for humor or out of pique, you're letting your emotions get in the way of your admin duties. Any kick or ban message should be clear, brief, and specific.[/QUOTE]
RDMing slut.
[QUOTE=Decoy Ocelot;42634152]Giving stupid reasons is being an unprofessional badmin. As an admin, you are representative of the server as a whole, and you should take pains to maintain an objective, calm, and unbiased attitude. By giving offensive or nonsensical reasons, whether for humor or out of pique, you're letting your emotions get in the way of your admin duties. Any kick or ban message should be clear, brief, and specific.[/QUOTE]
'nople.' is a legit reason. trust me.
these are just a few i thought was funny, i have a lot more but these are good 4 now
big imgs be warned
[IMG]http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/846954195555233617/09856C6EFBD073780ABD56A0BF29AC9A8405D4CE/[/IMG]
[IMG]http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/882985779839319456/62B075E9DBC34CC90755563A20AEE6573BD20527/[/IMG]
I've had some pretty fun ones with my server;
"Stop making me look bad on my t rounds"
"I request you shove a large, serrated rake up your ass and get your ghosting buddy to pull it out nice and slow"
Bunch of other stupid shit like that.
[QUOTE=Decoy Ocelot;42634152]Giving stupid reasons is being an unprofessional badmin. As an admin, you are representative of the server as a whole, and you should take pains to maintain an objective, calm, and unbiased attitude. By giving offensive or nonsensical reasons, whether for humor or out of pique, you're letting your emotions get in the way of your admin duties. Any kick or ban message should be clear, brief, and specific.[/QUOTE]
Yes let's all become uptight assholes
jeez man its just a game why should i take pains for it
Bunch of players who thought it be fun to try and troll.
[url=http://sourcetribe.net/index.php?action=banlist][img]http://puu.sh/51Jb1.png[/img][/url]
"What happens when you piss in a volcano?"
It was kick because of RDM, but it was actually not RDM. Sometimes I'm just a very smart (and lucky) Innocent.
So, the story is actually very simple, and quite amusing, and it shows that the wits of a simple Innocent can outgun a pack of Traitorous scumbags trying to hunt you down even in the most daring situations:
The server was very populated, like +20 people, and the Traitors were particularly victorious that round.
There were a whopping 7 traitors left up against the sole remaining Innocent, me.
Before the traitors even realized with their Radars, I had already put my vicious plan into practice. I simply hid in a closed sewers area, and ran around the sewers, making it hard for the Traitors to track me down with the Radar.
The Traitors entered the sewers in packs of 1-2 trying to locate me, very suspiciously so to speak, but alas, I slaughtered them all, one by one.
(Also, my player model was a burned corpse, skull hat, and my weapon of choice was Mac10.)
All the traitors blamed me for RDM and kicked me, but it was probably the most victorious Innocent round I've ever taken. The best part was probably their fake bluffing attempts and live-checks. Yeah right, they really took me for a sheep.
"Smoke weed everyday 420 or GTFO!"
[QUOTE=thelurker1234;42670679]Yes let's all become uptight assholes
jeez man its just a game why should i take pains for it[/QUOTE]
There's a difference between being an uptight asshole and being an objective moderator.
Unless you moderate for a really terrible server, it's not your job to shit over everything and gloat about your phenomenal powers. It's not your job to be rude and offensive, because that reflects poorly on your server and its community. It's not your job to arbitrarily use your powers to kick and ban for frivolous reasons, because that's an abuse of your position. You are an admin in order to keep the peace. You are an admin so that you may use your powers to make the server a better place.
If this makes me an uptight asshole, then fine, whatever. If you're not committed to being a [I]good[/I] admin, and if you don't "take the pains" to do the job [I]right[/I], then maybe you shouldn't be an admin in the first place.
[QUOTE=Decoy Ocelot;42634152]Giving stupid reasons is being an unprofessional badmin. As an admin, you are representative of the server as a whole, and you should take pains to maintain an objective, calm, and unbiased attitude. By giving offensive or nonsensical reasons, whether for humor or out of pique, you're letting your emotions get in the way of your admin duties. Any kick or ban message should be clear, brief, and specific.[/QUOTE]
its a fucking gaming server not a multibillion dollar business
yes my favorite must be "no dont ddos us please :^("
[QUOTE=Death_God;42698837]its a fucking gaming server not a multibillion dollar business[/QUOTE]
If you have shit admins, you're going to have a harder time attracting a worthwhile community of players. If you can't form a community, then you're paying for an empty server.
[QUOTE=Decoy Ocelot;42711957]If you have shit admins, you're going to have a harder time attracting a worthwhile community of players. If you can't form a community, then you're paying for an empty server.[/QUOTE]
and if you got annoying pricks treating gaming servers like its earning revenue when its a god damn gaming server you get people like you and unenjoyable servers with uptight admins
[QUOTE=Death_God;42712313]and if you got annoying pricks treating gaming servers like its earning revenue when its a god damn gaming server you get people like you and unenjoyable servers with uptight admins[/QUOTE]
If anybody is acting uptight, it's you.
It's my habit to treat people politely and respectfully in real life, and when I admin for a server, I do the exact same thing - even when dealing with people I don't particularly like. I don't treat a server like a business or a company. I treat a server as a place to have fun. If someone joins up who doesn't want to play nice, then I regretfully jail/kick/temp/perm them. I do so, however, in a clear and polite manner. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt; they may decide to reform and become a decent player.
I fail to see how being a conscientious admin makes me some egocentric uptight asshole.
[QUOTE=Decoy Ocelot;42713574]
I fail to see how being a conscientious admin makes me some egocentric uptight asshole.[/QUOTE]
Because as you can see by the thread, the other assholes in this thread believe you have to be an ass to get rid of an ass. One day they'll grow up and finally understand what you mean.
[QUOTE=FrankPetrov;42713693]Because as you can see by the thread, the other assholes in this thread believe you have to be an ass to get rid of an ass. One day they'll grow up and finally understand what you mean.[/QUOTE]
sounds like someone has a superiority complex
[QUOTE=Death_God;42714927]sounds like someone has a superiority complex[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Death_God;42712313]and if you got annoying pricks treating gaming servers like its earning revenue when its a god damn gaming server you get people like you and unenjoyable servers with uptight admins[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=FrankPetrov;42713693]Because as you can see by the thread, the other assholes in this thread believe you have to be an ass to get rid of an ass. One day they'll grow up and finally understand what you mean.[/QUOTE]
wow double hypocrite
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