You are GOD. You CREATED the KNOWN UNIVERSE, amongst OTHER THINGS. [you know the drill] - Garry's Mod

[i]Loading Average Joe: Disc One...[/I] You are [b]GOD[/b]. You are best known for [b]CREATING[/b] the [b]KNOWN UNIVERSE[/b], amongst [b]OTHER THINGS[/b]. You reside in a farther plane of the [b]UNKNOWN UNIVERSE[/b]. You're told that this plane is known by inhabitants of the [b]KNOWN UNIVERSE[/b] as [b]HEAVEN[/b]. You can't imagine why, it's [b]DREADFULLY BORING[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/wm_winterwarfare0000.jpg[/img] Despite your [b]OMNIPOTENCE[/b], you occasionally get [b]BORED[/b] and engage in [b]WACKY HIJINKS[/b]. Why, the last time you got [b]BORED[/b], you made [b]FROGS[/b] fall from the sky and presented a [b]PAIR OF ROCKS[/b] inscribed with [b]A TEN POINT CONSTITUTION FOR MORAL BEHAVIOR[/b] to a [b]BEARDED FELLOW[/b], and a bit after that you [b]FUCKED[/b] a [b]MARRIED WOMAN[/b]. But enough about that. The fact is that on this lovely purple day in the [b]UNKNOWN UNIVERSE[/b], you are, for the second time in 2000 years, [b]BORED[/b]. You produce your [B]CELESTIAL DATAPAD[/b] and decide to travel to your prized creation, [b]EARTH[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/wm_winterwarfare0001.jpg[/img] You warp to the [b]MILKY WAY[/b], resting place of [b]EARTH[/b]. It is truly magnificent. You haven't visited or even looked at it in a while, but from what you can remember, it is a lovely place full of [b]LUSH FORESTS[/b] and [b]EXOTIC CREATURES[/b]. There's none of that in the [b]UNKNOWN UNIVERSE[/b]. You'll only find that stuff on [b]EARTH[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/sb_new_worlds_20002.jpg[/img] As the saying goes, or so you're told, [b]ROME[/b] wasn't built in a [b]DAY[/b]. [b]EARTH[/B] took quite a few tries to get right. You've got a veritable [b]ASTROLOGICAL GRAVEYARD[/b] floating around the [b]UNIVERSE[/b]. You only worked for just a few hours on most of the other worlds, but you stayed up for [b]SIX DAYS[/b] straight when you made [b]EARTH[/b]. You're very proud of it, indeed. It's the [b]ENVY[/b] of all the other [b]UNKNOWN UNIVERSE INHABITANTS[/b], especially that sonufabitch [b]VISHNU[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/sb_new_worlds_20003.jpg[/img] You zoom in on [b]EARTH[/b] to see how time has treated it. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/sb_new_worlds_20004.jpg[/img] You've arrived in a [b]CITY[/b] of some sort. You're not quite sure how it got there. It's made of [b]IRON[/b] and [b]PROCESSED STONE[/b]. You don't remember [b]PROCESSING[/b] any [b]STONE[/B] the last time you visited. You decide to fly in to one of these [b]BUILDINGS[/b] to inspect the [b]LIFESTYLE[/b] of an [b]AVERAGE HUMAN[/b]. [b]AVERAGE HUMANS[/b], or so you're told, are vile creatures, hell bent on destroying [b]EARTH[/b] just to accrue [b]RESOURCES[/b] such as [B]PROCESSED STONE[/B] in order to make their lives easier. That [b]VERITABLY SICKENS[/b] you. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/gm_bigcity0005.jpg[/img] What have we here? A [b]team[/b] of [b]HEAVILY ARMED COMMANDOS[/b] breaching a [b]HEAVILY UNARMED SCIENTIFIC FACILITY[/b]? You're not sure how they got there. You don't remember [b]HEAVILY ARMING[/b] any [b]COMMANDOS[/b] last time you were here, much less allowing them to form [b]TEAMS[/b]. In any case, these [b]HUMANS[/b] are far from [b]AVERAGE[/b]. You decide to keep looking. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010000.jpg[/img] You find a [b]INEPT LABORATORY ASSITANT[/b] ready to [b]GIVE UP[/b] on whatever it is he is [b]WORKING ON[/B]. You decide to become him for the time being. You are now [B]CARL FAYESWORTH[/b]. You're an [b]AVERAGE HUMAN[/b] in the employ of [b]BELLSUMMER SCIENTIFIC[/B], a [b]TECHNOLOGY ADVANCEMENT RESEARCH CENTER[/b]. You had been trying to [b]PERFECT[/b] a [b]SCIENTIFIC DEVICE[/B] but because of your [b]UTTER MEDIOCRITY[/b], you've been failing entirely. In fact, you can't even remember what this [b]DEVICE[/b] is supposed to do. You decide to [b]PRAY[/b]; even though you consider yourself [b] ATHEIST[/b], you're on the [b]END[/b] of your [b]ROPE[/b]. You ask [b]GOD[/b], "[i]God, what the Hell is this thing even supposed to do?[/i]" [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010001.jpg[/img] [u]Well, what the Hell is that thing supposed to do?[/u]

Antimatter bomb. But there's an accident and it accidentally summons [B]DOG[/B], otherwise known as [B]ANTIGOD[/B].

The device can teleport you anywhere within 5 metres.

They're safety goggles, obviously. They protect your eyeballs from dangerous chemicals.

It's a big ball that kills [b]HEAVILY ARMED COMMANDOS[/b]

[QUOTE=archangel125;29363556]Antimatter bomb. But there's an accident and it accidentally summons [B]DOG[/B], otherwise known as [B]ANTIGOD[/B].[/QUOTE] You receive no [b]ANSWER[/b] from [b]GOD[/b]. Not even the slightest hint of [b]DIVINE INSPIRATION[/b]! You feel like a complete [b]SELLOUT[/b]. Not only did you toss away everything you ever un-believed in, but you didn't even get anything for it! [i]No Stairway? Denied![/i] [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010003.jpg[/img] Suddenly, you notice a [B]CLIPBOARD[/B] that previously escaped your admittedly lackluster [b]PERCEPTION[/b]. It is titled: [b]HANDHELD POSITRON-ELECTRON UNIFICATION MARTYRDOM ACCEPTANCE DEVICE MARK XIII[/b]. Of course, idiot! It's an anti-matter bomb! For a moment, it troubles you that [b]THEY[/b] handed this potentially city-leveling [b]DEVICE[/b] to someone as [b]INDEFATIGABLY BASELINE[/b] as yourself, and with nothing but some [b]USELESS GOGGLES[/b], [b]GOGGLES[/b] which you, in your [b]MADDENING INDISTINGUISHABLENESS[/b], forgot the purpose of! However, the [b]THOUGHT[/b] passes, and you set back to work. [B]MINUTES[/b] seem like [b]MINUTES[/b] as you swap the [b]POSITRON EMITTER[/b] into the [b]DEVICE[/b], replacing the [b]POP TART CRUMB[/b] you had sworn would do the trick. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010004.jpg[/img] [i]Eureka![/i] There's about a 27% chance that you've done [b]IT[/b]! You may have successfully [b]FABRICATED[/b] an [b]ANTIMATTER BOMB![/b] Unfortunately, your [b]FABRICATION[/b] skill is far to low for you to even know if you've [b]FABRICATED[/b] the [b]DEVICE[/b] correctly or not, so you decide to bask in the glow of your slightly improbable success. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010005.jpg[/img] Even lower then your [b]ABYSMAL FABRICATION[/b] skill is your [b]TOTALLY SUBTERRANEAN BALANCE[/b] skill! You [b]FUMBLE[/b] the probably somewhat possibly functioning [b]DEVICE[/b] flat on the tile floor! Sparks begin to fly and your [b]PANIC[/b] levels reach [b]EPIC PROPORTIONS[/b], as does your [B]CHRONICALLY HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE[/b]! [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010006.jpg[/img] Beams of [b]FREE ENERGY[/b] crackle forth from the [b]DEVICE[/b], sending you hurtling into a wall! Oh, your [b]LUMBAGO[/b]! One of your [B]ADRENAL SCHEMA[/b] activates! [b]RETROACTIVE EPIPHANY![/b] You realize that not only did you fail to [b]FABRICATE[/b] an [b]ANTIMATTER BOMB[/b], but that you in fact [b]FABRICATED[/b] a [b]LEVEL 99 NETHERWORLD MATRIX[/b]! You have no idea what that is, but this new knowledge does not help your worsening [b]MENTAL CONDITION[/b]! Something seems to be leaping forth from the [b]MATRIX[/b]! You are totally [b]SPOOKED[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010007.jpg[/img] The [b]SCIENTIFIC MAELSTROM[/b] settles. Before you is a [b]CREATURE[/b] which you have never even seen before, but that's not much a surprise considering your [B]EXCLUSIVELY DOMESTIC EXISTENCE[/b]. You rephrase this thought accordingly: Before you is a [b]CREATURE[/b] which you have never even seen before on [b]ANIMAL PLANET[/b]. What hath [b]SCIENCE[/b] wrought?! [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010008.jpg[/img] The [b]CREATURE[/b] you see is [b]DOG[/b]. It looks up at you [b]INNOCENTLY[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010009.jpg[/img] [u]What do you do?[/u]

Give it an odd stare for a few seconds to make sure it's not hostile...

Quickly! Punch down a tree and make a sword to defend yourself from this vile beast!

You get the odd impression that [B]GOD[/B] would find this creature absolutely terrifying. You pet the [B]DOG[/B]. You transform instantly into a [B]BLOCK MAN[/B]. (This might give you an opportunity to make a character skin for a minecraft humanoid to match the [B]INEPT LABORATORY ASSISTANT[/B])

Off topic: woooaaahhh what map is that in the first two pictures? On topic: find that dog some porkchops

Succumb to worsening psychological stability.

Put your goggles back on. and fucking deal with it.

rip off your [B]arm[/B] and give [B]dog[/B] your [B]bone[/B]

[QUOTE=DireAvenger;29371906]Succumb to worsening psychological stability.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=inebriaticxp;29369704]Off topic: woooaaahhh what map is that in the first two pictures? On topic: find that dog some porkchops[/QUOTE] Your [B]PANIC[/b] has reached its [b]INUNDATION POINT[/b]. You've just had a [b]MENTAL BREAKDOWN[/b]. You descend into the [b]DREAMSCAPE[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/escape_010010.jpg[/img] You are now [b]DREAM CARL[/b]. You have just returned to your [b]HOME TOWN[/B] from a lengthy [b]BUSINESS TRIP[/B] and you are awfully [b]TIRED[/B]. You long to get back [b]HOME[/B] and see your [b]WIFE[/b] and [b]SON[/b]. Your [b]DOG[/b], which you can't seem to recall the name of, is rather [b]HUNGRY[/b] and in desperate need of [b]PORKCHOPS[/B]. You know this [b]TOWN[/b] very well, and normally getting [b]HOME[/b] would not be a problem, but on this night you can't seem to remember the [b]WAY[/b]. You resolve to find your [b]DOG[/b] some [b]PORKCHOPS[/b] and get back to your [b]HOUSE[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0000.jpg[/img] You decide that you may need some [b]HELP[/b] accomplishing these [b]TASKS[/b], so you look around you. To your [b]LEFT[/b] is a [b]OPPRESSIVE POLICE OFFICER[/b] in a [b]SECURITY CHECKPOINT[/b], as well as three [b]SHADY CHARACTERS[/b] who are giving you a [b]LOOK[/b] you don't particularly care for. These [b]CHARACTERS[/b] are probably not from [b]AROUND HERE[/b]; you can tell by their... Well, you can't really tell at all. You just aren't getting a good [b]VIBE[/b] from them. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0001.jpg[/img] To your [b]RIGHT[/b] is a [B]ARMORED GENTLEMAN[/b] using the [b]PAY PHONE[/b] and a [b]GANG MEMBER[/b] of some sort examining the [b]TRAIN SCHEDULE[/b]. The [b]GENTLEMAN[/b] is rather noisy and has gotten [b]ALL HOT AND BOTHERED[/b] by whatever his [b]CONVERSATION[/b] entails. You are suspicious of the [b]GANG MEMBER[/b], and so is your [b]DOG[/b], the name of whom escapes you entirely. Also to your [b]RIGHT[/b] are some [b]MAGIC PILLARS[/b], one of which appears [B]OUT OF ORDER[/b]. You don't recall those being there when you boarded the [b]TRAIN[/b] to leave your [b]HOME TOWN[/b] when embarking on your [b]BUSINESS TRIP[/b], but that was an awful long time ago. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0002.jpg[/img] Directly ahead of you is a [b]DOOR[/b]. You don't get any sort of [b]VIBE[/b], [b]FEELING[/b], or [B]EXTRASENSORY PREMONITION[/b] when looking at it. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0003.jpg[/img] Your [b]DOG[/b] is really bothering you for some [b]PORKCHOPS[/b]. Goddammit, what is his [b]NAME[/b]? And where will you find him some [b]PORKCHOPS[/b]? And how are you going to get [b]HOME[/b]? [u]What do you do?[/u]

You decide to name your [B]DOG[/B] [B]PIXEL.[/B] You proceed to [B]INTERRUPT IN A LESS THAN POLITE MANNER[/B] the [B]ARMORED GENTLEMAN[/B]'s call by accidentally tripping over [B]PIXEL[/B] and falling on him.

You converse with the shady characters. They're wearing suits just like yours; they must be chill.

go throught the door and look for some machines, punch them to turn them into machine components and use your amazing building skills to teleport yourself and PIXEL to a forest where there are probaly pigs, then kill them for porkchops.

You name your dog [b]THE DOOR[/b] and decide to name the door [b]THE DOG[/b]. You open [b]THE DOG[/b] and walk through, there is a brown substance on the floor. This substance is sauce, but that's a boring name! You name the sauce [b]ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM[/b]. Oh no! The [b]ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM[/b] is leaking from [b]THE DOOR[/b]. So, you go hire some homeless man named [b]SAUCE[/b] to clean it up. [b]SAUCE[/b] said that there are some dogs like [b]THE DOOR[/b] down the road, so you go blow up France. The end.

[QUOTE=archangel125;29415634]You decide to name your [B]DOG[/B] [B]PIXEL.[/B] You proceed to [B]INTERRUPT IN A LESS THAN POLITE MANNER[/B] the [B]ARMORED GENTLEMAN[/B]'s call by accidentally tripping over [B]PIXEL[/B] and falling on him.[/QUOTE] You and your [b]DOG[/b], who you recall is called [B]PIXEL[/b], charge headlong toward the [b]ARMORED GENTLEMAN[/b]. He has been so [b]RUDE[/b], [b]HOOTING[/b] and [b]HOLLERING[/b] on the [b]TELEPHONE[/b] while everyone else is just trying to enjoy their day! It's time he repaid his [b]DEBT TO SOCIETY[/b]. The [b]OPPRESSIVE POLICE OFFICER[/b] attempts to accost you with a [b]CLIPBOARD[/b] of some sort to no avail, and the [b]SHADY CHARACTERS[/b] look on cautiously. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0005.jpg[/img] [b]PIXEL[/b] slides into place, and you run into him as though he wasn't even there, losing your [b]BALANCE[/b] entirely and [b]TRIPPING[/b]. You've engaged a [b]COMBAT TECHNIA: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID NEXT FALL: YOU SAW ME BECAUSE YOU HAD A NICE TRIP[/b]. You should probably rename that one, doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. Your abrupt serving of [b]SUBURBAN JUSTICE[/b] has totally caught the [b]GANG MEMBER[/b] by surprise. He raises his hand in a feeble attempt to stop you. [b]GANG MEMBER[/b] rolls on d4 for [b]DIPLOMACY[/b] check. Natural 1! Check failed! [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0008.jpg[/img] Seeing this [b]BRUTAL DISPLAY[/b] has agitated the [b]OPPRESSIVE POLICE OFFICER[/b]. He leaves his [b]SECURITY CHECKPOINT[/b] and begins to approach you, equipping his [b]ASSAULT RIFLE[/b] and [b]CLIPBOARD BUCKLER[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0009.jpg[/img] This is caught the attention of the [b]SHADY CHARACTERS[/b] who reach into their respective [b]INVENTORIES[/b] to ready their respective [b]ITEMS[/b]. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0010.jpg[/img] Erstwhile, you have successfully collided with the [b]ARMORED GENTLEMAN[/b]. You've [b]LAID HIM OUT[/b] entirely. [b]ARMORED GENTLEMAN[/b] is now unconscious! You sustain [b]RECOIL DAMAGE[/b] due to the [b]RECKLESS NATURE[/b] of your attack. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0011.jpg[/img] Battle royale ensues! The [b]GANG MEMBER[/b] equips [b]COLTON MODEL 1/4 ASSAULT CARBINE[/b] and engages [b]PIXEL[/b] in combat. The [b]OPPRESSIVE POLICE OFFICER[/b] is attempting to [b]DEFUSE THE SITUATION[/b]. [b]SHADY CHARACTERS 1[/b], [b]2[/B] and [b]3[/b] equip a [b]SIGFRIED SAWYER PISTOL[/b], a [b]MOUSLER PISTOL[/b], and a [b]LITTLE MACKIE MINI MACHINE PISTOL[/b], respectively. They are moving towards the [B]SCENE[/b] you've caused with no uncertainty. [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14694583/IntComic/insomnia0012.jpg[/img] Well, that didn't pan out. [u]What do you do?[/u]

Yell "is this a mexico showdown or something"

Pray for god to turn everybody into a duck.

Unmask the masked armored gentlemen! Then look back and soil your trousers, since you realize everyone is pointing guns at each other.

Have another mental break down, going down another dream level.

Run.

Tell everyone to "Calm the [highlight]fuck down[/highlight] and take the [b]chill pill[/b] so we can talk this out like nice and orderly [b]Heavily armored[/b] gentlemen in [b]a wierd world of unknown reality[/b]."

run trought the door and use the flaming-toilet-shaped portal to travel to another level of dream and madness.

God shows up and turns everyone into boxes.

[QUOTE=Matt PL;29430541]Yell "is this a mexico showdown or something"[/QUOTE] Mexican standoff :eng101:

make the suited man you knocked out into a puppet, distracting the guard, gangster, and the 3 others until "pixel" steals their wallets and guns?

[b]THEY[/b] drop their [b]WEAPONS[/b] and start a [b]BREAK DANCING CONTEST[/b].