Girlfight - a short comic - Garry's Mod

[IMG]http://www.wduwant.com/prototype/uploads/d904f202310a.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.wduwant.com/prototype/uploads/1fdc7a8be3.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.wduwant.com/prototype/uploads/d03273ba3e88.jpg[/IMG] a little comic inspired by PUBG among other things. first part of what was going to be longer until i got bored with it. feel free to fuck my shit up fam.

Reminds me of 3d porn comics with those poses and texts

[QUOTE=San El;52461087]Reminds me of 3d porn comics with those poses and texts[/QUOTE] i mean you're not wrong, they are porn models damn do i actually feel ashamed of this?

[QUOTE=tharmas;52462498]i mean you're not wrong, they are porn models damn do i actually feel ashamed of this?[/QUOTE] It is kind of weird but wether you are ashamed or not is your decision :v: Reminds me of Ryu-Gi or whatever his name was

at least Ryu-Gi only dealt in elf rape and not death/killing fetish

[QUOTE=Joazzz;52465141]at least Ryu-Gi only dealt in elf rape and not death/killing fetish[/QUOTE] you know this actually wasn't meant to be a porn comic right? just a chance to play with some good models. damn can't a fella just make a comic about pretty girls shooting each other and not get called a pervert? smdh

[QUOTE=tharmas;52465194]you know this actually wasn't meant to be a porn comic right? just a chance to play with some good models. damn can't a fella just make a comic about pretty girls shooting each other and not get called a pervert? smdh[/QUOTE] It's the combination of everything, the overall low quality of the comic doesn't really help, it looks like something those weird ass FNAF or TF2 roleplayers on Deviantart would put out. [editline]g[/editline] I think most of the critism actually comes from the super edgy text combined with the non-existent lighting + the wonky posing. If you tell such an edgy story without making sure it looks good it just looks kind of unimpressive. Keep improving though, I bet you have lot of potential!

[QUOTE=Joazzz;52465141]at least Ryu-Gi only dealt in elf rape and not death/killing fetish[/QUOTE] no ryu-gi went deep into snuff shit too lol [editline]14th July 2017[/editline] to be perfectly frank-- the writing is superfluous and the lighting is flat as hell. you also didnt do anything interesting with the models. ive used these models before and theres so much dynamism in their normalmaps and their variety of bodygroups yet you used probably the most flat and boring outfits you couldve chosen. also overly exaggerated faceposing. i get that its a comic but thats no excuse to be sloppy and not light your photos with custom lighting. you could literally remake this with no dialogue and the entire point would come across perfectly fine. i wish i had an example of one of my dialogueless comics to hand but suffice to say you could have done this silent and it would have been better for it because there wouldn't be all this over the top text overly explaining the clearly visible actions going on. [B]show, don't tell.[/B] [editline]14th July 2017[/editline] to be fair though the fact theyre models with nudity doesnt really matter. ive usede male (and female) models with nudity capacity in sfw works before, its all about how you use them. this doesnt come across as snuff but its a little borderline in the whole "weird" stakes. as someone who does a lot of abstract and.. edgy? art, i could understand why you'd make something like this. but at the same time.. tread lightly...

[QUOTE=Pissfuck;52467535]-text-[/QUOTE] Ryu-Gi was one fucked up fella, didn't he get help and toned down the elf rape a lot? Link to your Deviantart, I'd like to have a look, if you have a Deviantart. Also, your name cracks me up :v:

i dont have a deviantart, but [url=https://my.mixtape.moe/kayyhh.jpg]this is something i made earlier today[/url] inspiration/basis: [url]https://my.mixtape.moe/yloysd.png[/url] also no, ryu-gi just learned to act normal. he keeps coming back and posting gross rape shit. [editline]14th July 2017[/editline] im probably not the best person to give a judgement of the portrayal of violence against women though, ive always held the view that violence is a unanimous and equivalent thing. i mean, blood is red regardless of gender.

Really? I didn't know Ryu still comes here, sounds like some nice Internet Drama :v: Eh, in all my time I've been part of this community, violence against women is defenitely not the worst thing I have ever seen. Rastifans cult following is weird yet extremely fascinating at the same time for example :v:

[QUOTE=Pissfuck;52467557]i dont have a deviantart, but [url=https://my.mixtape.moe/kayyhh.jpg]this is something i made earlier today[/url] inspiration/basis: [url]https://my.mixtape.moe/yloysd.png[/url] also no, ryu-gi just learned to act normal. he keeps coming back and posting gross rape shit. [editline]14th July 2017[/editline] im probably not the best person to give a judgement of the portrayal of violence against women though, ive always held the view that violence is a unanimous and equivalent thing. i mean, blood is red regardless of gender.[/QUOTE] is this drsalvador, again? [editline]14th July 2017[/editline] why do you keep making alts

aight lemme jump into this shit [QUOTE=Pissfuck;52467535]endless text[/QUOTE] the writing was toned down from draft one. obviously it needed work. i did in fact use custom lamps in lighting this. what i didn't do was take any of the shots through multiple passes. rookie mistake, i'll fix that up next time, along with stronger lighting and a better map where that lighting is more apparent. i felt without dialogue the comic would've suffered from a lack of direction. characters just sort of doing what they're doing without impetus. not to mention it's meant as the opening of a longer work, so the dialogue was tailored in that direction. i will, however, work on abstracting the text so it pairs or rather contrasts better with what's being depicted. as for the models themselves, this was just an effort to do some good action poses after a long time without doing any. it's only in retrospect that i realize it's kinda weird to use porn models to that effect. rest assured in more recent poses it's strictly metro males. and yes, my quality has already improved. other areas of improvement of course include the actual placement of text and figuring out a good arrangement of screenshots other than just the descending slideshow. overall let's just call this a sophomore effort.

Even though the critism you received was very harsh you kept your cool. Keep doing that and you are gonna git gud soon

[QUOTE=The Combine;52468089]Even though the critism you received was very harsh you kept your cool. Keep doing that and you are gonna git gud soon[/QUOTE] only been playing since release. at this rate in another 25 years i'll be as good as vioxtar!

[QUOTE=tharmas;52468094]only been playing since release. at this rate in another 25 years i'll be as good as vioxtar![/QUOTE] ... Don't give up dude, you should look up some tutorials. Vioxtars manifesto on how to achieve awesome lighting is too advanced, start with: Three-Point-Lighting Posing! Look up reference images for this, helped me a lot Camera Angles <-- Lots of stuff on the net, even wikipedia is helpful

[QUOTE=The Combine;52468101]... Don't give up dude, you should look up some tutorials. Vioxtars manifesto on how to achieve awesome lighting is too advanced, start with: Three-Point-Lighting Posing! Look up reference images for this, helped me a lot Camera Angles <-- Lots of stuff on the net, even wikipedia is helpful[/QUOTE] i do all that shit just need practice. thanks for the input regardless, i'm gonna stop replying now so i quit bumping my own board.