Hello All Its Tyler Wearing Here To Extend Holiday Greetings From The Wearing Family To Yours Ok As You All Know I Have Been A Bit Of A HumBug For The Past Few Months But I Was Visited By Three Spirits Last Night Ok Story Time The First Ghost Was My Old Business Partner Jova Who Had Coded Most Of The Widely Successful Smash Hit Hack That You All Know And Love Hera He Had Died Seven Years Ago In The Infancy Of Hera Before It Became The Most Devestating Hack In Gayry Mod ThirTeen He Told Me That I Needed To Give Back To The Community Even Though They Have Done Jack Shit For Me But Thats Another Story AnyWay He Tried To Scare Me By Yelling In Agony But I Dont Believe In Ghosts So I Went Back To Sleep He Told Me That I Would Be Visited By Three More Spirits Once Again I Went Back To Bed Because Im Grown And Dont Believe That Shit The Clock Ticked Noon The Next Day Having Thought That I Slept Approximately Twenty Three Hours And Fourty Six Minutes I Was Shocked To Think That I Hadnt Made A Single Hera Sale That Day So I Hopped OnTo My Two Thousand And ThirTeen AlienWare LapTop And Saw That I Had Fourty Seven New Friends Requests On Steam Of People Looking To Purchase Hera Right As I Was About To Make The Last Sale And Rack In The Big Bucks My LapTop Shut Off Impossible I Thought Since This Was A Brand New LapTop On A Full Charge And The Battery Life Is Approximately Eleven Hours And ThirTeen Minutes So I Drove To Best Buy And Returned That Piece Of Shit I Came Back To My House Only To See A Ghastly Spirit At The Edge Of My Bed Tyler Wearing The Spirit Cried Out Thinking It Was Another Hera Customer I Offered To Sale Him The Deluxe Package For Fifty Seven United States Dollars Via PayPal But I Quicky Remembered That I Had Already Returned My Computer And Didnt Feel Like Starting Up One Of My Other Computers I Asked What He Wanted And He Said He Was The Ghost Of Christmas Past I Didnt Believe Him And Went Back To Bed Then I Was Looking Back On Christmas From When I Turned Twelve And Crashed My First Bugatti Veyron On Christmas Day I Had To Look Away From The Crash As I Have A Phobia Of Blood And Vomit At The Sight Of It In The Memory I Had Just Received A New Lambroghini From My Father And Threw A Fit Because It Wasnt Another Bugatti Veyron I Then Proceeded To Take A BaseBall Bat That My Bitch Of A Aunt Bought Me For Some Reason And Smash The Lambroghini Up I Could Not Bear The Sight AnyMore Because That Lambroghini Was So Ugly That I No Longer Wanted To Look At It I Then Ordered The Spirit To Take Me Back To My Mansion And Let Me Sleep In Peace Which It Did I Woke Up Approximately Two Mintues Later By Another Spirit Who Introduced HimSelf As The Spirit Of Christmas Present He Was A Tall Man Who Wore A Bath Robe For Some Reason He Took Me To The House Of A HeraBot Customer And I Saw Him Passed Out In Front Of The Computer Because He Starved HimSelf To Death Having To Much Fun Owning With Hera That He Forgot To Eat Saddened By The Loss Of A Customer I Could Have Sold The Deluxe Edition To At A Later Date I Ordered The Spirit To Take Me Back To My Mansion But He Refused And Lifted His Robe Up Like Some Pervert And Two MalNourished Kids Were Hanging OnTo His Legs He Told Me To Beware Them I Asked Whos They Were And He Responded That They Were Mine Which Is Very Possible Because I Have Had Sexual Relations With Approximately One Thousand And Two Hundred Sixty Seven Point Three Women WithIn The Past Nine Months He Said The Names Were Both Named Jacob I Said Wtf And Woke Up In My Mansion Tired Of This BullShit I Was Then Visited By A Third Ghost He Was My Old Marketing Partner Who Goes By The Name AssPirate But Many Of You Know Him By His FacePunch Studios Forums Name Wizard Of Ass He Told Me That If I Didnt Change My Ways I Would End Up Losing All Of My Customers And Have To File For BankRuptcy No I Cant Let That Happen So I Am Happy To Announce That There Will Be A Five Percent Price Drop In Hera Until December The Twenty Seventh I Will Also Be Offering Three Free Copies Of Hera To Three Lucky People As A Part Of The Big Hera Holiday Blow Out All You Have To Do To Qualify Is Have At Least Two Hundred And Fifty Posts Post That Tyler Wearing Is The Best Coder On FacePunch Studios Forums And Add Me On Steam At HyperText TransFer Protocol Colon Slash Slash Double U Double U Double U Dot SteamCommunity Dot Com Slash Profile Slash Seven Six Five Six Eleven Nine Eight Zero Four Zero Five Five Three Seven Six And SubScribe To Me On YouTube At HyperText Transfer Protcol Colon Slash Slash YouTube Dot Com Slash User Slash Snixzz Eight Slash You Must Then Send Me A Message On Steam Stating That You Have SubScribed To My Channel And Pick A Number Between One And EighTeen I Will Then Use A Number Generator To Choose Three Lucky Winners Good Luck To All And Merry Christmas
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Gimmick" - Gran PC))[/highlight]
I cried reading this.
My first instinct when I see something like this is to ctrl+f and type "little did he know" to see how many instances of it there are.
Then I discovered originality.
Fun fact: If you take the first letter of every sentence, it spells out "H"
I Have Received Numerous Private Messages And The Following People Have Won A Free Copy Of Hera Wizard Of Ass CapsAdmin And JetBoom The Contest Has Been Closed But The Sale Is Still Going On
im having a hard time reading all of this
really, its not too much asked to use atleast a LITTLE bit of punctuation
and not starting every word with a capital letter
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