I recently travailed to the arctic to infiltrate red HQ About 10 hours ago. currently I am in the main intelligence
room. I have been waiting for about 15 minutes now for the soldier guarding the intelligence. I have been waiting for him to have a world war II flash back so i can sneak up behind him and snap his neck. i will keep my journal log updated as i continue on my espionage of knowledge.
here is what I have learned so far. red is in on an experiment with Aperture science labs to kidnap subjects to use in there
experiments with portal technology. Red kidnapped a woman named Chell. Chell is Redmond Mann's great grand daughter. She escaped Aperture
science labs then later was dragged here to be forced to have an endless party...with no cake contradictory to what she was promised.
the fallowing was captured on my camera beard between 12:00 and 1:15 AM.
At 12:05 this happened
At the entrance where 3 scouts where guarding,i took care of them easily with some refractive light.
I'll save the eye bleeding and not show that photograph.
At 12:15 this happened
I continued along the way to the Pyro. I totally kicked his ass.
[img]http://uppix.net/5/b/1/44942248417588207cbd7424a7257.png[/img]
[img]http://uppix.net/b/8/3/3536450e51139028c91aefcb562af.png[/img]
At 12:25 this happened
As you know the heavy is a babbling idiot so taking him and the medic out was easy. i cloaked behind the medic, slipped a sandvich mask on him and the heavy eat him.
[img]http://uppix.net/c/8/6/f6024148c63bdfc48b20fcafdee2c.png[/img]
At 1:00 this happened
I meant up with the demolitions man and of course he was drunk as hell, so i convinced him he was a bad demo,and he was a camping noob, then tolled him he had nothing to live for, so he killed him self.
[img]http://uppix.net/4/2/e/6ba7c7fad1fa163e18215d97b70b6.png[/img]
At 1:15 this is happening
Now how do I approach the soldier?
[img]http://uppix.net/b/0/9/6c1ff0dd1d28751c8ef1b7b552564.png[/img]
Backstab him.
[QUOTE=Hellduck;23643996]Backstab him.[/QUOTE]
at the entrance of the gate there is a magnetic weapon stripper i only managed to save my cloak.
throw your watch at him
Surprise butseks
[QUOTE=Mexican;23644034]throw your watch at him[/QUOTE]
That. If a magnetic weapon stripper didn't get it then it'll be cheap plastic anyway.
[editline]07:17PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Soul-Chicken;23644059]Surprise butseks[/QUOTE]
I'm also getting subliminal messages to say spank his ass.
Another entertaining thread from phd_in_hats
[QUOTE=NanoSquid;23644135]Another entertaining thread from phd_in_hats[/QUOTE]
He is a p cool guy
[editline]0[/editline]
And about the soldier : offer him a cigarette
[QUOTE=Mexican;23644034]throw your watch at him[/QUOTE]
it hit him on the head he looked back and i grabbed it and ran back be fore he saw me
Disguise as demoman, and challenge him to an indoor rocket-jumping contest. Allow him to go first. ensure his starting position is under those electrical ceiling lights. job done.
[QUOTE=Soul-Chicken;23644059]Surprise butseks[/QUOTE]
im good...
[editline]06:22PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Meat;23644180]Disguise as demoman, and challenge him to an indoor rocket-jumping contest. Allow him to go first. ensure his starting position is under those electrical ceiling lights. job done.[/QUOTE]
he tolled me to go first, so i ran out the door as he stared at me in awe.
[editline]06:23PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Prism;23644168]He is a p cool guy
[editline]0[/editline]
And about the soldier : offer him a cigarette[/QUOTE]
as he started to say spy arou- i was gone.
-ninjaeditsnip-
play a game with him, use his grenades and pull the pin out at the same time.
The one that holds his grenade the longest without throwing it away wins.
Ofcourse the soldier refuses to lose and luckily you have a Dead Ringer.
[QUOTE=Hellduck;23644067]I'm also getting subliminal messages to say spank his ass.[/QUOTE]
Fucken do it.
Use your fanciful pocket watch (as opposed to that CHEAP SHIT) and call the soldier a stiff-boned, malnourished civilian. While he's gloating about his "kill", ram your fist down his throat and fondle his kidneys.
[QUOTE=Frying Dutchman;23644248]play a game with him, use his grenades and pull the pin out at the same time.
The one that holds his grenade the longest without throwing it away wins.
Ofcourse the soldier refuses to lose and luckily you have a Dead Ringer.[/QUOTE]
sadly i only brought a normal cloak and i had only have a small plastic spytec lighter and 3 disguise cigs
Jam your grenade in his head when you're playing the game with him.
Should keep him busy enough.
[QUOTE=Ray-The-Sun;23644282]Use your fanciful pocket watch (as opposed to that CHEAP SHIT) and call the soldier a stiff-boned, malnourished civilian. While he's gloating about his "kill", ram your fist down his throat and fondle his kidneys.[/QUOTE]
the soldier soldier has no kidneys.
Have a taunt contest with him. Tell him to use his Equalizer, while you disguise as the same Demoman and you use a bottle.
[editline]06:29PM[/editline]
After you start though, might wanna back away from him.
[QUOTE=phd_in_hats;23644341]the soldier soldier has no kidneys.[/QUOTE]
Gently caress his spleen instead.
[QUOTE=Frying Dutchman;23644334]Jam your grenade in his head when you're playing the game with him.
Should keep him busy enough.[/QUOTE]
i used one of my disuse cigs already, are you sure i should try that, i had only 3
[editline]06:30PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Keychain;23644354]Have a taunt contest with him. Tell him to use his Equalizer, while you disguise as the same Demoman and you use a bottle.
[editline]06:29PM[/editline]
After you start though, might wanna back away from him.[/QUOTE]
mister are you mad everyone know you cant taunt while disguised
[editline]06:32PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Ray-The-Sun;23644378]Gently caress his spleen instead.[/QUOTE]
i disguised as sniper and did this, then he started to touch my leg i ripped my hand out from him, and ran away
[editline]06:33PM[/editline]
erm i need to think out side the box.
Casually mention the presence of an all-you-can-eat soup/rib buffet outside, situated very close to a man giving out free "Guns'n'Haircuts" magazines. Then, when his back is turned,
HUTTAH! NECK SNAP!
the soldier said he can not leave his shift, he works for 'merica
I know it, use hats!
Provoke him for being poor and irish and tempt him with hats.
When he's not paying attention it's the perfect time to strike.
[QUOTE=phd_in_hats;23644385]mister are you mad everyone know you cant taunt while disguised
[/QUOTE]
Make him go first! If he tells you to go first, call him a dirty civilian if he doesn't go first.
i now have no disguise cigs left.
You didn't use hats.
I am dissapoint.
[QUOTE=Keychain;23644492]Make him go first! If he tells you to go first, call him a dirty civilian if he doesn't go first.[/QUOTE]
in a contest you both taunt at once.
[editline]06:38PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Frying Dutchman;23644532]You didn't use hats.
I am dissapoint.[/QUOTE]
i am all out cigs remember i used them all and if i provoke him he will kill me
run and punch his penis
Admit that you are a spy , and say that you want to surrender.
or surprise buttsex , that works too
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
