I'm bored and feel like entertaining people while waiting to continue the Facepunch Council thread, so I've decided to make an AAR as the Fatherland for you guys.
Heeeeeere, we GO!
[B]Chapters:[/B]
[url=http://www.facepunch.com/showpost.php?p=16845095&postcount=1]Beginnings[/url]
[url=http://www.facepunch.com/showpost.php?p=16850279&postcount=16]Invasion of France[/url]
Wilkommen, gentlemen, hier is ze Fatherland! Take great note, men. For soon, all of zis continent vill be ours!
[img]http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/5524/startp.png[/img]
Zu give all of you a little recap of ze fools around us, I have drawn up a map of our soon-to-be conquests.
[img]http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/5954/factions.png[/img]
Zu get us started, ve vill of course be pouring much of our brilliant minds into ze field of Research! Ve Germans are known for our technical prowess, and ve vill use it to crush all zose who stand in our way!
[img]http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/5135/leadership.png[/img]
I haf taken ze liberty of mobilizing our troops! Zey currently sit idly on ze border with ze women to ze West. However, it looks as zough zey might be more powerful zen ve thought. Oh vell! Onwards!
[img]http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/2609/underestimate.png[/img]
Unfortunately, gentlemen, I am ze bearer of bad news. Our "Path to France" vill not be velcoming zeir German guests.
[img]http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/641/toobad.png[/img]
Looks like ve vill have to teach ze Dutch how to diplomacize with our Panzerdivisions!
[img]http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/6695/pathtofrance.png[/img]
It looks as zough our pathmaking skills have attracted your spaghetti-making friends in ze south! Zey join ze superior Axis faction!
[img]http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/4677/italyjoins.png[/img]
Now zat ve have a capable ally, LET ZE INVASION OF ZE SISSY-MEN COMMENCE!
[img]http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/115/battleplan.png[/img]
It is currently May, gentlemen. And, like every great general, I predict ve vill be sipping wine in Paris by July, and ze war vill be over by Christmas! Ze next time you see me, ve vill have already conquered half of France!
We need a subforum for this awesome shit.
[QUOTE=FlowXobDans;16845120]We need a subforum for this awesome shit.[/QUOTE]
The only question in my mind is whether it would be for HoI itself or for AAR's in general.
A "Let's Play" subforum like the one at SA would be good, for Let's Play runthroughs of any game.
Oh this looks epic.
We did have a subforum but no one used it.
You might be better off annexing Belgium before running through it. The army of Belgium is not negligible and they may try and flank you.
That subforum is diffrent than the SA one as that is just server's for games
Belgium has officially lost its right as a country and is now considered an autobahn towards France.
[QUOTE=jesseluver93;16846162]Belgium has officially lost its right as a country and is now considered an autobahn towards France.[/QUOTE]
Indeed, they seem to be just a minor roadblock on the way to Paris.
Can't get enough of these, keep writing.
the Czech to the east are talking shit about der furher.
Ugh, these always look so fun to do. Anyone know where I can just get a decent guide-line on how to run Russia or something at start?
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;16845509]The only question in my mind is whether it would be for HoI itself or for AAR's in general.[/QUOTE]
HoI itself that way we could form Alliances and play online and crush the sissy men
Someone should make a post and get people to sign it and send a link to one of the mods
[editline]05:40AM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Alvaldi;16849227]Ugh, these always look so fun to do. Anyone know where I can just get a decent guide-line on how to run Russia or something at start?[/QUOTE]
1. Build alot of tanks
2.Ally with germany
3.Get fucked by germany
4. ???
5. Post on facepunch with comedy and have everyone love you
With all of those infantry units, don't bog down into trench warfare!
[B]Chapter 2: Ze Invasion of France[/B]
Wilkommen back, gentlemen. I am afraid to say zat when I said ze next time you see me ve vill have conquered half of France, I was lying. Ve haf conquered ALL of ze French!
Ze troops in Belgium push into France and are very near to ze Sissy capital. Ve have got wind of reports zat zey are destroying zeir wine reserves before ve get to zem.
[img]http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8927/hoi3game200908211904471.png[/img]
It appears zat ze French have mustered zeir troops to defend ze capital.
[img]http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/8748/hoi3game200908211908269.png[/img]
No matter. Superior Deutsch engineering pushes our Panzerdivisions past zeir puny resistance straight into ze city and seizes ze ugly Eiffel Tower.
[img]http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/472/hoi3game200908211909014.png[/img]
Unfortunately ve have left our Belgian border open and ze idiotic Belgians have begun raping innocent German women. Ve vill get to zem ven ve have time.
[img]http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/4709/hoi3game200908211911079.png[/img]
Our pizza-spinning allies to ze south haf begun zeir attack on ze French. A toast to ein great victory!
[img]http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/7702/hoi3game200908211916418.png[/img]
Good news, everyone! Our forces haf broken zrough ze French lines und ve can begin our advance!
[img]http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/2693/hoi3game200908211926337.png[/img]
Und vis our victory comes a similar Italian one in ze south! Onward to victory!
[img]http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8363/hoi3game200908211927518.png[/img]
It looks like ze spaghetti-cooks haf taken territory in ze shape of a middle finger! Zat is right! Fuck you, Frenchies!
[img]http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/4824/hoi3game200908211950169.png[/img]
While ve went zu capture more important French cities, zey took back zeir pathetic capital. It vill be ours again soon.
[img]http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/2338/hoi3game200908211953591.png[/img]
An update on ze French invasion. Ve have taken much of zeir land, und ze Italians are doing a great job of zeir own.
[img]http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/1358/hoi3game200908211956099.png[/img]
Wunderbar! Our slant-eyed friends from ze Far East have joined our superior alliance!
[img]http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/6958/hoi3game200908211958167.png[/img]
Ve have finally found ein spare moment und ve are currently retaking ze Belgian-occupied lands.
[img]http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/3592/hoi3game200908212006000.png[/img]
In order zu neutralize ze Belgian resistance, ve have sent a couple divisions to take zeir pathetic capital.
[img]http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/4563/hoi3game200908212007204.png[/img]
Meanwhile, in ze south, ve have sent another army zu take an important sissy city.
[img]http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/2640/hoi3game200908212008547.png[/img]
Normally such a veak nation vould surrender zu our military might as soon as ve took zeir capital. However, it vould appear zat ze Belgian schweins do not intend to give up so easily. Ve must continue capturing zeir high-valued regions.
[img]http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/6067/hoi3game200908212013058.png[/img]
Once again, ve use ze Belgian homeland as a mere highvay to ze French capital. Fools.
[img]http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/6340/hoi3game200908212026015.png[/img]
At last! Ze pansy French show zeir true worth, und surrender to superior Deutschland military might!
[img]http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/6056/hoi3game200908212032360.png[/img]
It vould appear as zough ze pathetic tea-drinkers of ze North are attempting ein counter-offensive zu liberate zeir wine-loving allies. Ve vill crush zem at once!
[img]http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/8706/hoi3game200908212042060.png[/img]
Ve have officially taken every Belgian piece of land und slaughtered every last soldier, und zey still do not surrender! Zey are less cowardly zen ze French....
[img]http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/6753/hoi3game200908212101048.png[/img]
Zu give you ein general picture of ze situation in Europe, hier is a map of ze Fatherland!
[img]http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/2791/hoi3game200908212103116.png[/img]
Well, just started playing Estonia, and I made a mad dash into Latvia and conquered it:D
Working my way south now into Lithuania.
How do I eliminate revolt risk?
And good AAR, keep em coming:)
[QUOTE=Alvaldi;16850731]Well, just started playing Estonia, and I made a mad dash into Latvia and conquered it:D
Working my way south now into Lithuania.
How do I eliminate revolt risk?[/QUOTE]
I'd recommend just spreading some troops around to quell any rebellions.
It must be hard to write like this all the time.
Jesus man super stacks are bad, you get a huge penalty and leave much of your land open.
Spread those troops out sucka.
Mein Fuhrer! Perhaps you should reclaim the Sudetenland you've been ranting about for the past 3 years when the crumpet men are dealt with?
Leave holland independant :saddowns:
What the fuck. Why is Poland not yours? Why does Czech still exist? Have you completely ignored events? Also, I told you to Annex Belgium before you take France, that's why they managed to flank you in your country.
Isn't Games In Progress a good place for those AARs?
(What does AAR stand for anyway?)
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;16850279]
No matter. Superior Deutsch engineering pushes our Panzerdivisions past zeir puny resistance straight into ze city and seizes ze ugly Eiffel Tower.[/QUOTE]
The Eiffel Tower was design by a german. ;)
[QUOTE=Death Dragon;16857805]
(What does AAR stand for anyway?)
[/QUOTE]
After Action Reports
[QUOTE=Dan The Man;16857426]What the fuck. Why is Poland not yours? Why does Czech still exist? Have you completely ignored events? Also, I told you to Annex Belgium before you take France, that's why they managed to flank you in your country.[/QUOTE]
Because Poland is my 'Jew-Friends.' They're part of the Axis now. The Czechs still existed even in real history, and this is not real history. Yes, I have ignored events because this is not my attempt to recreate WWII, this is my own plan. Also, I don't care what the fuck you tell me, I took care of Belgium anyway, after I dealt with France.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;16863777]Because Poland is my 'Jew-Friends.' They're part of the Axis now. The Czechs still existed even in real history, and this is not real history. Yes, I have ignored events because this is not my attempt to recreate WWII, this is my own plan. Also, I don't care what the fuck you tell me, I took care of Belgium anyway, after I dealt with France.[/QUOTE]
The Czechs did not still exist in history. They were annexed, they came back afterwards as the Czech. republic.
Why did I get dumb ratings? They were fucking annexed. Fail history.
[QUOTE=Dan The Man;16863866]The Czechs did not still exist in history. They were annexed, they came back afterwards as the Czech. republic.[/QUOTE]
All that was annexed was the Sudetenland, which was about half of Czechoslovakia. They still existed afterward.
Its amazing to think if Belgium had allowed Germany in to get to France, the whole war would've been radically changed.
Occupy more soldiers in Belgium to lower their national unity
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