Hi there, before I start ranting I'd like you to know a little about me first.
I am 17 years old, working my way to college and currently living with my parents and my two little brothers (10 and 13, both of them had their birthdays within a few weeks of each other.) My mom works for the Air force, and we've all have driven across the US a few times. I would say that she's very well rounded as a person. My dad is very tech-savvy, and tries to keep us all in the loop of things. Sounds nice, yeah?
I have two problems. First off, i don't know them both very well. For example i could tell you my mom's job, but not her favorite color. Don't get me wrong, I try to spend time with them, but that just leads to another problem. That's for another time though.
My second problem is that they just don't get along anymore. They'll fight at least twice a month, for a week at most. My dad has obvious trust issues and i don't know how to deal with it. This led to my mom becoming very defensive around him, which makes my dad get suspicious and you get the idea.
Tonight (as in a few hours ago) they started fighting again. Things got worse and this time my brothers and I were called. They fought a bit more blah blah your fault blah blah. Then we were all asked if it's okay if they split up ( I'm putting that VERY nicely compared to how they asked us.)
I just wanted it all to stop. i was tired and upset and i said i don't care even though i care about them both. I was being rash and honestly I don't think what i said would've mattered. They asked my littlest brother this. And it tore him up the most. They know it, we all know it. My dad is convinced that he has done nothing wrong. 9 times out of 10 he always says SOMETHING to push my mom over. Like, OK, I'm used to them fighting, and I get that some marriages don't work out. But who the FUCK asks a 10 year old about mommy and daddy leaving? It's just unfair. Sure, yes, he acts the part of a tough guy, that's cool. But if that's justification for that crock of shit it's just insane. My other brother also just turned 13, and BEING 13 isn't justification either. I don't know how things work out like this at all.
So they are going to split up. I think i know how to handle it, but I'm worried about my brothers. Whats the best way to go about this FP? I've never been in a situation this before and i don't need them scarred for life or something. Even if you can't help, thanks for taking the time to read my rant. I just need to let out some steam.
Speaking as someone who's parents got divorced when I was 14 (maybe 13 not sure right now) they'll be okay. Sure, it will suck and they'll probably go through a lot of stages, I know I did. Your siblings will probably blame themselves, hope/wish that their parents will get back together and be a happy family again, and might even have some depression or anxiety, but that's just my personal experience.
But it is for the better. I know you hear that all the time with these situations but its true, if your parents are miserable together then they should split apart. It'll make them, you, and your siblings probably miserable but that's for the short term, can you imagine if it would be for long term? As for your siblings just be there for them and be a supportive, strong, and loving figure. Even though your parents asked your siblings about it (which is incredibly childish I might add) reassure them that their answers did not make the final verdict on their marriage. It's between them, not your siblings.
If you have any counselors and stuff you can go to even if its just at your school that would be great too, maybe you and your siblings can go together and be a strong bro-unit. Hope this has helped a little, hang tough friend.
When my parents fought for six weeks straight i legitimately left my house to live with my Gf's parents. i was waiting to go to my college, and my mom went to the mental hospital, and my dad was being a large framed douchebag to both of us. (He even brought people out to watch me leave, thinking it would make me feel bad). A lot of people said i did the wrong thing leaving him and her to their own devices. i left, and i didn't come back until september, just to visit.
Those few months made me change the way i thought, and to this day i still wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweats because i've dreamnt of them fighting. My dad tore my mom's and my own door off the hinges, and i left. i live in campus apartments now, but i really have to say, it was the hardest thing i'd have gone through for a while.
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