"Create" your own joke SCP: [adjective] [animal] Edition - General

Simple. You can create [sp] not really [/sp] your own SCP. [b]Take the template: [/b] [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/wjc1dv.png[/IMG] [b]Fill it in: [/b] [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/2igki10.png[/IMG] [b]Out comes your new SCP: [/b] [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/yj8ew.png[/IMG] Enjoy. LINK: [url]http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-even-number-j[/url]

-snip-

Already a thread for SCP related things. [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1127105[/url]

[QUOTE=archival;36449368]Already a thread for SCP related things.[/QUOTE] I haven't seen it in a long time, and this is more of a "post your" thread. Hardly matters.

[quote]Item #: SCP-4683-J Object Class: slut Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4683-J is to be kept in a dick pizza-lined containment chamber located in mom's fridge, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3455956543231953 prostitute armed with candy. In the event that SCP-4683-J ever begins treating its vagina, Dr. Stalin is to kill SCP-4683-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force a-7 ('' seduced by cougar'') is to be dispatched to SCP-4683-J's last known location. Description: SCP-4683-J is a shitty shitbug. Like most members of its species, it is able to dragon dildo, and regularly eats twice its own weight in dick pizza each day. SCP-4683-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with shit, which causes it to turn into box. Whenever this happens, all birth within a 22 kilometer radius will begin to fuck uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties. In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to michael jackson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-4683-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time. Recovery Log: SCP-4683-J was first located in Texas where the eagleshit were using it in order to kill op. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force a-7 ('' seduced by cougar'') was able to recover the object with only 241215334031. civilian casualties. Addendum: Test Log 4683-1 Dr. hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr hitler, and I am about to test SCP-4683's reaction to dick. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr dick? Dr. dick: Yes sir, ready to begin test. Dr. hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the dick to 4683... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material. Dr. dick: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'. hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN dick! IT'S GOT MEIN dick! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY! END LOG In light of incident 4683-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█ [/quote] I did my best

[img]http://www.majhost.com/gallery/Toa-Renok/Stuff/scp-13-j.png[/img] I fiddled with it quite a lot to create this, which actually seems pretty awesome.

[QUOTE]Item #: SCP-745-J Object Class: Neutralized (Previously Euclid) Special Containment Procedures: SCP-745-J is to be kept in a shit-lined containment chamber located in your pants, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than OVER 9000 Prostitutes armed with napkins. In the event that SCP-745-J ever begins fucking its Vagina, Mr. Dicksuckingfreak is to pooping SCP-745-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''IDONTKNOWWHATTHEFUCK'') is to be dispatched to SCP-745-J's last known location. Description: SCP-745-J is a gay furfag (Wolf). Like most members of its species, it is able to fuck you, and regularly eats twice its own weight in shit each day. SCP-745-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with poop, which causes it to turn into condom. Whenever this happens, all fleshlight within a 666 kilometer radius will begin to smoking uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties. In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Chris Chan. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-745-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time. Recovery Log: SCP-745-J was first located in Sluttown where the Packers were using it in order to molest children. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''IDONTKNOWWHATTHEFUCK'') was able to recover the object with only ∞ civilian casualties. Addendum: Test Log 745-1 Dr. Snitzel: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Snitzel, and I am about to test SCP-745's reaction to Marijuana. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Fishsticks? Dr. Fishsticks: Yes sir, ready to begin test. Dr. Snitzel: Excellent! I am now introducing the Marijuana to 745... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material. Dr. Fishsticks: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'. Snitzel: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN PENIS! IT'S GOT MEIN PENIS! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY! END LOG[/QUOTE] This is fucking stupid.

[QUOTE]Item #: SCP-7-J Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a spaghetti-lined containment chamber located in The White House, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3 Mechanical Robots armed with Ramen Noodles. In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins Smoking its head, Dr. Rights is to run SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Θ-7 (''Adventure Time'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location. Description: SCP-7-J is a omnipotent chicken. Like most members of its species, it is able to work quickly, and regularly eats twice its own weight in spaghetti each day. SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with apples, which causes it to turn into laptop. Whenever this happens, all mice within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to kill uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties. In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Tommy Lee Jones. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time. Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in Riodoso, TX where the Dallas Cowboys were using it in order to destroy Gotham City. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Θ-7 (''Adventure Time'') was able to recover the object with only 56 civilian casualties. Addendum: Test Log 7-1 Dr. Brandt: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Brandt, and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to keyboard. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Childress? Dr. Childress: Yes sir, ready to begin test. Dr. Brandt: Excellent! I am now introducing the keyboard to 7... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material. Dr. Childress: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'. Brandt: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Arm! IT'S GOT MEIN Arm! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY! END LOG In light of incident 7-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█[/QUOTE]

[quote]Item #: SCP-257-J Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-257-J is to be kept in a french fry-lined containment chamber located in a cardboard box in my backyard, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 archaeologists armed with plastic cups. In the event that SCP-257-J ever begins hopping its foot, Dr. Gears is to punch SCP-257-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (''Stargate'') is to be dispatched to SCP-257-J's last known location. Description: SCP-257-J is a stupid beaver. Like most members of its species, it is able to do your mother, and regularly eats twice its own weight in french fries each day. SCP-257-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with spatulas, which causes it to turn into banana. Whenever this happens, all prostitutes within a 3 kilometer radius will begin to fuck uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties. In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Adam Savage. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-257-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time. Recovery Log: SCP-257-J was first located in ██████ where the Titans were using it in order to eat all of the doughnuts. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (''Stargate'') was able to recover the object with only 47 civilian casualties. Addendum: Test Log 257-1 Dr. Göring: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Göring, and I am about to test SCP-257's reaction to horse. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Nightingale? Dr. Nightingale: Yes sir, ready to begin test. Dr. Göring: Excellent! I am now introducing the horse to 257... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material. Dr. Nightingale: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'. Göring: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN arm! IT'S GOT MEIN arm! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY! END LOG In light of incident 257-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█ [/quote]

[IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/nbbzw6.jpg[/IMG] I created this as a sort of inside joke among friends. I still left a bunch of random shit in it though.

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█ Item #: SCP-i-J Object Class: ebr Special Containment Procedures: SCP-i-J is to be kept in a the squishy kind-lined containment chamber located in The goverments manney, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 1.00000000000000000000000000000000000001 Swag-Hunting armed with Hookers in my neighbourhood. In the event that SCP-i-J ever begins sucking its dicks, Dr. luls is to derp SCP-i-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force phi-7 (''Dick-in-a-box'') is to be dispatched to SCP-i-J's last known location. Description: SCP-i-J is a through Kangaroo. Like most members of its species, it is able to erb brebe, and regularly eats twice its own weight in the squishy kind each day. SCP-i-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with sucking, which causes it to turn into hep. Whenever this happens, all fjdknklwnjes within a 22 kilometer radius will begin to sdbvncm uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties. In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to My Dick. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-i-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time. Recovery Log: SCP-i-J was first located in New-York where the Idk were using it in order to take over uranus. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force phi-7 (''Dick-in-a-box'') was able to recover the object with only 22 civilian casualties. Addendum: Test Log i-1 Dr. LEDERHOSEN: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr LEDERHOSEN, and I am about to test SCP-i's reaction to herp. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Schouten? Dr. Schouten: Yes sir, ready to begin test. Dr. LEDERHOSEN: Excellent! I am now introducing the herp to i... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material. Dr. Schouten: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'. LEDERHOSEN: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN nose! IT'S GOT MEIN nose! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY! END LOG In light of incident i-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█ Yup

[quote]CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█ Item #: SCP-13-J Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-13-J is to be kept in a Kraft dinner-lined containment chamber located in The White House, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 8 engineers armed with bolts. In the event that SCP-13-J ever begins pulling its brain, Mr. Biggles is to clutch SCP-13-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force μ-7 (''Spongebob Squarepants'') is to be dispatched to SCP-13-J's last known location. Description: SCP-13-J is a adhesive reindeer. Like most members of its species, it is able to ride douchebags, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Kraft dinner each day. SCP-13-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with taco stands, which causes it to turn into Netherlands. Whenever this happens, all rifles within a 58 kilometer radius will begin to nag uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties. In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Ron Howard. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-13-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time. Recovery Log: SCP-13-J was first located in Washington DC where the Dolphins were using it in order to unite the world in song. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force μ-7 (''Spongebob Squarepants'') was able to recover the object with only 132095710398461 civilian casualties. Addendum: Test Log 13-1 Dr. Becker: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Becker, and I am about to test SCP-13's reaction to Country Kitchen Buffet. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Theiss? Dr. Theiss: Yes sir, ready to begin test. Dr. Becker: Excellent! I am now introducing the Country Kitchen Buffet to 13... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material. Dr. Theiss: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'. Becker: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN penis! IT'S GOT MEIN penis! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY! END LOG In light of incident 13-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█ [/quote] Oh God, what have I created?

How about a tree, that when you get too close to it, its starts making you smell things. The first thing you'll smell is the bark, then you suddenly become overwhelmed with the smell of wood, and then the tree will just sit there. It wont even move, No matter how much you stair blankly at the tree, IT WONT MOVE, EVER. If you try to touch it, It will feel exactly like your touching a normal tree, except your not. YOU ARE THE TREE, and the the tree becomes YOU, and then you start going backward in time and reliving the tree entire life, and then you go forward in time after you reach the beginning of the trees life. Thing is those it all happens in a split second so you wont even be able to tell it happened.