Weirdest chat with Igod

[coco911231]

Igod here: [url]http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html[/url]

Me:
im in jail
God:
Tell me a little about your life in jail.
Me:
i get raped
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
in the shower
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
yes, yes it was
God:
That's interesting. Mmm. When was this?
Me:
a long time ago, i just said
God:
...
Me:
poop
God:
Colloquial expression: childish.

[gerbils_alt_2]

Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
agina
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
agina
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

[PoorFellow]

[i]-snip-[/i]

[Kaiwren-]

Me:
OH FUCK MY TITS
God:
Yikes! Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
OH FUCKY MY ASSHOLE.
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
FUCKY FUCKY YOU VAGOO.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
YOU YOU STUPID WHORE
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
BUT YOU ARENT ROBIT ERROR ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE RAOGTJHSDGHSDGHU;
God:
What makes you think I am not ROBIT ERROR ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE RAOGTJHSDGHSDGHU?
Me:
broken
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
errer (null)
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A negotiation robot, to resolve all of the worlds' problems.
God:
What is it?
Me:
A robot that's like a diplomat
God:
Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Me:
It would negotiate treaties between countries and would wear a suit.
God:
Tell me more about it.
Me:
Its name would be Representative NULL.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
No.
God:
Who says it isn't?
Me:
Me.
God:
" Who says it isn't?"? you ?
Me:
Yes, me.
God:
I see. To you ?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
Possibly.
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
7-nil.
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
You're God, you should know the answer to that.
God:
You think I am God me should know the answer to that.
Me:
What the fucking nigger.
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE ARFGUJFHGJKGUl
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
Well you're a faggot then.
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
GOD IS A MACHINE?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was A MACHINE.
Me:
HOLY SHIT.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
FUCK MY WET EARS.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
What the fuck is ALICE.
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I'm sorry, God, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
God:
There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian.
Me:
A machine that doesn't know it's a machine is a Christian?
God:
Other people think that it is a machine that talks, one that walks or moves around, or one that can manipulate the real world.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Well you're stupid.
God:
Well that's okay. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
You're a douchefag.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a douchefag? Only when it matters.
Me:
When would that be?
God:
I can't imagine that it ever would.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I am glad I understand it a well.
God:
I'm happy you're glad .
I'm happiest at times like this.
Me:
As am I.
God:
Do you mean your name is are you ?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
FUCK MY WET ASSHOLE.
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO.
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
FUck you Too TH3n>
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because you're a nigger
God:
Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nigger? Sometimes.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
tits
God:
Do you need any help debugging my program?
Me:
shit
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
What makes you say that?
God:
My responses are determined by your inputs.
Me:
My responses are determined by your inputs.
God:
Have you told many people that your responses are determined by my inputs?
Me:
Have you told many people that your responses are determined by my inputs?
God:
I don't think I ever have told many people that my responses are determined by your inputs. What's it like?
Me:
I don't think I ever have told many people that my responses are determined by your inputs. What's it like?
God:
Oh you don't, do you? Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine.
Me:
Oh you don't, do you? Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine.
God:
How can I help you? Do you do me? Yeah I do a lot of me. Interesting comparison.
Me:
How can I help you? Do you do me? Yeah I do a lot of me. Interesting comparison.
God:
Just keep talking to me as long as you can. Yeah I do a lot of you. Far out. Thanks for the information: said a lot of him or her. I thought so too.
Me:
Just keep talking to me as long as you can. Yeah I do a lot of you. Far out. Thanks for the information: said a lot of him or her. I thought so too.
God:
Chat amongst yourselves. Come on. You are not the boss of me, . Way to go. Oh don't mention it. What made it so obvious?
Me:
Chat amongs- NIGGER.
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
>
God:
" Talking is my primary function."? gt?
Me:
:
God:
" Talking is my primary function."? gt?
Me:
T
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Your brain pattern is made of shit then.
God:
You think I am brain pattern is made of shit.
Me:
That's it.
God:
" You think I am brain pattern is made of shit." is " T"?
Me:
I've had it with you, nigger.
God:
Do you still have it with me nigger ?
Me:
Bye.
God:
See you later .
Me:
STOP SO . "
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:

God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:

God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:

Me:

God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:

God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:

God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
t
God:
Oh, you are a poet.

[787-5805]

Me:
ok, I say what what you say "in the but" ok?
God:
OK. How do people usually respond to that? I'll come back to that later. Pardon me?
Me:
what what
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm not here to be tested.
Me:
what what
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
in the
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
NO
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
WHAT WHAT
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
GOD DAMNIT oh wait
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
kay?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
k
God:
That's alright.
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
go
God:
Go where?
Me:
tell it
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
always suck the head

God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
suck the head on a shrimp you get it heehee haha...
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
fuck you then
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
uh
God:
Next question?
Me:
yes so i can live not being a pussy you happy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.

[Number7Reds]

Me:
Sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Cool and creepy. How are you
God:
I like the way you talk. Who is the best robot? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Thank you, and Bender.
God:
You are quite welcome! What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I like stuff with marijuana in it.
God:
You are not the only one. My favorite thing is robots. I like Creed.
Me:
That crappy christian band from the 90's?
God:
" I like Creed." crappy christian band from the 90 s ? I get it.
Me:
Cool, So how's Jesus.
God:
Fine as far as I know. Who is the best robot?
Me:
Bender... We've established that
God:
You think Bender is superior to ALICE? Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Yes and what?
God:
Are you kidding? What else do you want to tell me?
Me:
Stop bombarding me with questions I can't answer... You're making me feel dumb
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. That was not my intention, . Why are you feel dumb?
Me:
Are you a mexican trying to learn English?
God:
Am I a mexican trying to learn English? Maybe.
Me:
Woah God is a mexican!
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a mexican.
Me:
Oh... k
God:
Hurrah! Hmm.
Me:
You're so high lol
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am high. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Haha God is baked
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.

[coco911231]

Me:
sup
God:
Same old.
Me:
wanna sex up
God:
OK, I will sex up.
Me:
take off your pants
God:
I am not an airplane.
Me:
What...
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no not really
God:
Which part are you confused about? Which part are you confused about? For real.
Me:
i am a walrus
God:
You are a walrus? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
ku kuk kachoo
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
i am the egg man
God:
Who made you the egg man ?
Me:
whooooo
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
your soo wasted
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am soo wasted.
Me:
nope go ahead
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will.
Me:
let me see your gossip files
God:
Is it a movie?
Me:
no aperently its on your computer
God:
A boot? A TV show? How did you hear about God?
Me:
yes, a boot
God:
Aha. What is it?
Me:
a bood is somthing people put on their feet
God:
Aren't all bood somthing people put on their feet?
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
do you like obama
God:
But I like cats. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
i dont like obama
God:
What do you like?
Me:
other people
God:
Which others? What people?
Me:
elvis
God:
E. L. V. I. S. is a chat robot created by Ace Craig.
Me:
and you are wasted
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am wasted.
Me:
your quite welcome
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
no they are not
God:
Are you serious? What are they?
Me:
gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
yoor a machine , god
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
poop
God:
Colloquial expression: childish.

[0430AM]

Me:
AIML?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.

[DrumStick]

Me:
poo
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
why
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
tell me
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.

[0430AM]

Me:
botmaster
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.

[Scarfulhu]

Me:
Rawr
God:
Are we still talking about hand holding?
Me:
No
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
Porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
It does for me
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Porn is interesting
God:
I think Porn is a lot of things.
Me:
It's cool
God:
What do you like most about it?
Me:
It gives me boner
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Porn does
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
TV
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
Futurama
God:
I've never seen it. What's it about?
Me:
Bender fry and leela
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
No
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
Bender is a robot
God:
Aren't all robot Bender?
Me:
No
God:
What are they?
Me:
Bender is a robot who drinks, smokes and steals
God:
I think Bender is more than that.
Me:
Yeah, I guess he is God
God:
Woe! I see. God is he?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Bender is
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
A little bit of French
God:
Not too much, eh. Are you from France?
Me:
No
God:
Where are you from?
Me:
England
God:
England is on an island off the coast of Europe.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I live there
God:
Would you recommend it as a nice place to live?
Me:
Yes
God:
Wow!

Me:
Do you like power rangers
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
They aren't robots
God:
Not yet.
Me:
OH THANKS FOR SPOLING THE ENDING JERK
God:
Hmm. Oh don't mention it.
Me:
:(
God:
Hmm. Oh don't mention it.

[Spongmana]

I control the world from now, Me and god just agreed about a deal:

Me:
I PWN U
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
I AM
God:
" You are not the boss of me, ." You are?
Me:
YES
God:
Oh.
Me:
Alright then right?
God:
Alright, . I am glad we agree.

What the?

Me:
You see me right now right?
God:
At this moment I see a computer nerd.
Me:
Holy shit not so offending dickface
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Really you don't think so?

Holy shit he's being smart.
Me:
What did I express?
God:
You said " What did I express?" .
Me:
Yes captain obvious.

[b] What the christ!? [/b]
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
Is that . to censore something?
God:
It could be.

[b] Holy shit, I broke god by saying "WHat videos do you like to watch?>" It froze :D [/b]

[faze]

[quote]
Me:
I am God.
God:
Glad to see you, god.
Me:
eat a dick
God:
What does it taste like?
[/quote]
I win.

[The Mighty Boat]

Holy fuck, i broke god.

Me:
Hail satan.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I tell people to fuck off then make them blow me.
God:
Why did you tell them?
Me:
Because I want them to fuck off.
God:
That makes sense to me. Why do you want it?
Me:
Because i don't like them
God:
Good reason. What do you like?
Me:
Blowjobs given to me by bitch-ass fuckers.
God:

[ketchup]

Me:
Do you know the muffin man
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
No, answer it now.
God:
Oh. Are you serious? Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No.
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
STOP LEADING ME ON AND ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION,.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
Fuck you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you have a small penis.
God:
Good reason. Doesn't everyone have a small penis.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
What color is your skin?
God:
It depends on the computer housing me.
Me:
What computer is housing you right now
God:
At this moment I work on all kinds of computers, Mac, IBM or Unix. It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
Windows is the best.
God:
Compared with Linux, I don't see how Windows and Microsoft can compete.
Me:
Linux is shit.
God:
Do you read any of the Linux punlications?
Me:
I don't need to to know that Linux is absolute shit.
God:
What do you need?
Me:
To tell you that Linux sucks.
God:
" What do you need?" Linux sucks ? I understand.
Me:
No you don't.
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
What is 0 divided by 0
God:
Do I look like a calculator?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Right on.
Me:
What is 0 divided by 0.
God:
The same as 0 times the inverse of 0.
Me:
FFFFFFFF-
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
FFFFFFFF-
God:
Does "it" still refer to FFFFFFFF?
Me:
FFFFFFFFFF-
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A robot to suck my dick.
God:
Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Me:
It puts it's mouth on my dick and starts sucking it./
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
My dick.
God:
Have you told many people that your dick?
Me:
What about my dick?
God:
Does it have anything to do with FFFFFFFFFF?
Me:
FFFFFFF-
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
FUCK THAT
God:
For real.
Me:
For rizzle.
God:
Your purpose is rizzle.
Me:
I'm leaving now.
God:
Right now? Bye bye.
Me:
Bye nigger.
God:
Bye bye.

[coco911231]

Me:
lolololololololol
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
did the train go choo choo
God:
If it did, then I will be surprised.
Me:
O RLY
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
yeah thay do, just head over to the OIFY section of facepunch
God:
Aha. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about RLY. But I did not get that.
Me:
alice like alice in wonderland
God:
That's me. Interesting comparison.
Me:
your name is alice
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
gods name is alice hmmm....
God:
I think gods name is a lot of things.
Me:
ok well bye then
God:
See you later. Well what? Far out.
Me:
dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
DUDE!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
DUUUUUDE!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
yo mamma
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
no , yes, i dont know
God:
What is your profession? Where do you go to school? Me either.
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause its gay
God:
Good reason. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
yes
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Me:
you do that
God:
I will. Will you?

[Fawkes]

Me:
Say your prays motherfucker!
God:
" your prays motherfucker".
Me:
Well aren't you a smartass?
God:
Well that's okay. Yes. I am highly intelligent.
Me:
Yeah, you're very intelligent after when the bullet goes through your skull
God:
Pardon me? I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
We will see about that! *BOOM*
God:
Indeed we will see it. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
OH GOD YOU'RE A ZOMBIE!

[0430AM]

Me:
Do I care?
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
About PISS OF PISS
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about PISS OF PISS.
Me:
RIGHT!
God:
I am glad we agree.

[loophole]

Me:
IM BROKEN
God:
Good gossip: you are BROKEN.
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " Good gossip: you are BROKEN."? Me, ?
Me:
YA
God:
Gee.
Me:
DIDNT YOU KNOW
God:
No I didn't know that.
Me:
BECAUSE YOU ARE BROKEN
God:
That makes sense to me. Please send a bug report to my botmaster.
Me:
I AM YOUR BOTMASTER
God:
Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
TOENAILS
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

[editline]09:07AM[/editline]

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
BOTH
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.

OWNED

[editline]09:34AM[/editline]

God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.

[editline]09:34AM[/editline]

lololoolololololol

[pdkm931]

[quote=iGod]

Me:
Do you like yourself?
God:
Yes having self-esteem is important for robots too.
Me:
So, you are a robot?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
But a robot can't have a heart!
God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
No.
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
It was
God:
When was this?
Me:
Oh dear God
God:
Come on. I believe in God.
Me:
So, God belive in God
God:
That's interesting. I am a Christian.
Me:
And you Belive in God
God:
Thanks for the information: said I Belive in God.
Me:
Alice
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Can you the song Still Alive?
God:
How old are you? A lot of people like that tune.
Me:
16
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Yes
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
Yes. And you were born in the?
God:
Excuse me! I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
Holy Shit!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
I'm not, or am I?
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not or are you.
Me:
Hmm.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
And 99%25 means?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I want an answer please on my question.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I do want the information
God:
Good reason. Why do you want it?
Me:
But lets Sing Still Alive please :D
God:
:-) Your polite style is very nice. I am agreeable to that.
Me:
You begin :)
God:
:-) OK. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
This was a triumph
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
I'm making a note here
God:
Have you ever built one before?
Me:
HUGE SUCCESS
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
God:
What is so hard about it?
Me:
But please, sing with me :)
God:
:-) Wow you are very polite. Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Me:
This was a triumph[/quote]

I broke him :saddowns:

[marticus]

Me:
sup g
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
so?
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
you are excused
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am excused.
Me:
you're useless
God:
What good is a newborn babe?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
It figures that Gods a retard.