Experiences with mentally handicapped children (a.k.a. Derp Kids Say The Darndest Things) - General

Have you ever had that one kid in your class who they kept there because the fifth floor was already packed with kids who had special needs? Post your stories about them. Whether they be funny, awesome, or simply indescribable. Keep in mind I didn't make this thread to be an asshole (however much it may seem like so), I'm just generally intrigued by the different characteristics of other children with these disorders. Some of the shit I've heard over the years is actually quite fascinating. Here's mine: so I have this kid in a few of my classes, and I don't know what the fuck his deal is. I wanna say he's autistic, but he's not quite there. He can draw quite well but he has the social skills of a moose. The other day I was in Photoshop class and I finished my work. So naturally I start playing a game of Heaven Tetris (a neat little game where every once in a while a giant fucking Tetris block comes and fills in every row for you), and he has this thing where he'll come over to anybody who is playing something. No matter what it is. He comes up and stands behind me, with a blank face, and asks me what I'm playing. Now I like to mess with him. Not in an assholish, bullyish way, but in a sort of playing dumb way. So I say "what?" in an obnoxious tone. He asks again. Cue an entire back-and-forth between me and him, with me calling him a racist, insinuating he called me a spic, my friend a cracker, and a bunch of other shit, and him trying to reply (and failing) that he isn't. I was curious at how long he would try to make his point before simply leaving. It went on nearly until the end of the period. Keep in mind that the entire time I'm playing the game sub-consciously. He keeps saying things in the most drone, slow tone ever like "fuck YOU" and "ahm not a RACIST". The entire time he is standing in the exact same spot in the exact same pose, every once in a while raising his hand to emphasize his sentences. So the period ends and I go "later, ____!" and in the background all I hear is "fuck YOU". I know there was a thread like this somewhere on facepunch, can't remember where it is though. There was this one story where this entire bus full of :downs:s kids made the exact same sound, while the bus driver was "loling his tits off".

Once I was born.

I have to go to a special needs class for my math (because I suck god awfully at math) and there's this full blown derp kid in there. I walked on him in the bathroom once, pants on the ground, shirt above his head Pissing [h2]PRESCHOOL STYLE[/h2] waving his dick around flinging piss around the bathroom. I can't make this shit up.

[QUOTE=Hardpoint Nomad;30170415]I have to go to a special needs class for my math (because I suck god awfully at math) and there's this full blown derp kid in there. I walked on him in the bathroom once, pants on the ground, shirt above his head Pissing [b]PRESCHOOL STYLE[/b] waving his dick around flinging piss around the bathroom. I can't make this shit up.[/QUOTE] hahah what the fuck

Not gunna lie special needs is horrible but some things get me.

oh god i often follow threads on 4chan like this with much anticipation, lets see if facepunch can do as well.

These 2 kids in my grade who have the "eww gurls are talking to us" 6 year old mentality.

I remember one year in about 4th grade we had to leave the school because some "Special Child" decided to paint the bathroom with shit. I don't even understand where all the shit came from.

This one kid at lunch will walk over and watch over our table for about 5 minutes then sits down when a spot becomes available, then does not move because "He has a right to that spot." [img]http://i.imgur.com/xi1GN.jpg[/img]

My friend told a kid with downs that the puddle filled with mud was chocolate milk. He drank from the puddle.

[QUOTE=vladnag;30170679]oh god i often follow threads on 4chan like this with much anticipation, lets see if facepunch can do as well.[/QUOTE] pretty much the exact reason i made this thread [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/yXqon.png[/IMG]

[QUOTE=KingKombat;30170868]pretty much the exact reason i made this thread [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/yXqon.png[/IMG][/QUOTE]This proves that this generation and all generations after it are going straight down the shitter.

There was this kid in my foods class who failed the course and never got along with anybody.The class consisted of reading off textbooks,filling out worksheets and actual cooking, so in general its pretty fucking easy. I'm not exactly sure what was his disability but he would never get along nor would he correctly do any work.

[QUOTE=Zocom;30171030]There was this kid in my foods class who failed the course and never got along with anybody.The class consisted of reading off textbooks,filling out worksheets and actual cooking, so in general its pretty fucking easy. I'm not exactly sure what was his disability but he would never get along nor would he correctly do any work.[/QUOTE] Yeah I know people like that. It kinda sucks for them and you at the same time.

There is this one retarded Russian kid who everyone hates and he is a dick. He was in my table for science class a couple years ago. He and the person sitting next to me were argueing about something, and one thing led to another, and the retarded kid flicked a booger at him. And it landed right in his eye. He has fucking damn super powers, patent and sell that homing technology to the military. Anyway it was extremely scary because if I was only a foot to my left or he missed a foot to his right, that could have been my eye. I have no idea how my table neighbor didn't kill him on the spot. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] Rate me winner, no one has a better story than me.

I have to ride a short-bus with retarded people on it because the school district, in all their wisdom, decided that kid with "low vision" (me) equates to retarded. I have in-ear earbuds with noise cancellation. Guess why? There's this FUCKING KID who is my age (17) yet has the most nasally, high-pitched voice I ever heard. Wears the same thing every day, and he just HAS to plop his tard ass next to me so my nostrils are dead by the time I get to school. It's horrible. This kid's in my honors history class too. The irony. :gonk:

[QUOTE=shatteredwindow;30171110]There is this one retarded Russian kid who everyone hates and he is a dick. He was in my table for science class a couple years ago. He and the person sitting next to me were argueing about something, and one thing led to another, and the retarded kid flicked a booger at him. And it landed right in his eye. He has fucking damn super powers, patent and sell that homing technology to the military. Anyway it was extremely scary because if I was only a foot to my left or he missed a foot to his right, that could have been my eye. I have no idea how my table neighbor didn't kill him on the spot. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] Rate me winner, no one has a better story than me.[/QUOTE] Also the same kid is in my gym class this semester. We were playing dodge ball, he was near the front of the boundary, he got out, so he took the ball he had in his hand and slammed it into the face of the girl sitting at the front of our out line.

[QUOTE=shatteredwindow;30171160]Also the same kid is in my gym class this semester. We were playing dodge ball, he was near the front of the boundary, he got out, so he took the ball he had in his hand and slammed it into the face of the girl sitting at the front of our out line.[/QUOTE] Ouch. There's this one fat-ass Jewish tard who has to take medicine or else he will go fucking apeshit and starting running and screaming. Last year I unfortunately had to share a van with him and other tards so yeah. He was going crazy one day and banging on the window and cursing in Hebrew. I felt the vehicle shake. That's scary shit.

Oh wait. I have another story. In 8th grade gym class, we had one of those massive, crazy strong super-retards. He would always wrestle people for some reason. He just like jumped on them and dragged them and stuff, nothing really dangerous but hilarious to watch. Well in the swimming unit he got particularly exited, particularly with me. He wrestled me almost everyday that unit. And he wrapped his legs around you and you tripped and couldn't move and stuff. And one day he was on me for like 5 minutes of me trying not to drown. He grabs my hair and whispers to me "What did you do with Johnny?" or maybe it was Jimmy. Some crazy shit. And he kept asking me stuff like that. And I'm yelling at the gym teacher, but he somehow managed to never see me the whole time. God fuck. I was tired by the time he finally got off me, I probably would have drowned if he stayed on more than a couple minutes longer. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] I have quite a lot of these stories. I'll try to remember some more. I have a ton of short stories that aren't worth mentioning though. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] I am a retard magnet.

Large Picture inbound! [img_thumb]http://files.sharenator.com/triforce3_4chan_Triforce_Prank-s2262x5000-44015.png[/img_thumb] [sp]sorry, fucking thumb's dont work.[/sp]

[QUOTE=shatteredwindow;30171241]Oh wait. I have another story. In 8th grade gym class, we had one of those massive, crazy strong super-retards. He would always wrestle people for some reason. He just like jumped on them and dragged them and stuff, nothing really dangerous but hilarious to watch. Well in the swimming unit he got particularly exited, particularly with me. He wrestled me almost everyday that unit. And he wrapped his legs around you and you tripped and couldn't move and stuff. And one day he was on me for like 5 minutes of me trying not to drown. He grabs my hair and whispers to me "What did you do with Johnny?" or maybe it was Jimmy. Some crazy shit. And he kept asking me stuff like that. And I'm yelling at the gym teacher, but he somehow managed to never see me the whole time. God fuck. I was tired by the time he finally got off me, I probably would have drowned if he stayed on more than a couple minutes longer. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] I have quite a lot of these stories. I'll try to remember some more. I have a ton of short stories that aren't worth mentioning though. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] I am a retard magnet.[/QUOTE] hahaha. aren't all downs kids like crazy strong for no goddamn reason [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=areolop;30171299][/QUOTE] doesn't apply to the topic to the above post

Another story. These two guys on the tard bus (as I will refer to the bus from now on) were fucking [b]blowing bubbles[/b] at me. They wouldn't stop. Need I say more?

[QUOTE=KingKombat;30171308]hahaha. aren't all downs kids like crazy strong for no goddamn reason [editline]31st May 2011[/editline][/QUOTE] He wasn't downs, just like 6'5" and black. doesn't apply to the topic to the above post

Remember at some end of the year party at my school some retarded shit wouldn't stop singing music that was playing. Goddamnit, "Don't Stop Me Now" was playing too and the shit wouldn't shut the fuck up.

[QUOTE=DesumThePanda;30171489]Remember at some end of the year party at my school some retarded shit wouldn't stop singing music that was playing. Goddamnit, "Don't Stop Me Now" was playing too and the shit wouldn't shut the fuck up.[/QUOTE] that sick bastard

There's a tard (I don't know sometimes. I don't know if he is really retarded or just a huge idiot) in my seventh period. One day he came up to me and started asking me shit about Call of Duty or some generic game, I don't remember. Anyways, so he's asking me all these questions and to every single one I replied with something completely unrelated. Every time he yelled incredibly loud. It was pretty funny.

This retarded kid went up to my face and scratched his dick and grabbed it to a position like if he was gonna piss on me.

Oh I know this other kid, high functioning autism, pretty cool most of the time though. At lunch he got up to get something, the table steals his drink. The person who actually did it blamed it on someone else, and so my friend starts choking this kid. The cop comes over and tries to pull him off, so my friend punches him. e got tackled and arrested. Then they find out he's a derp so nothing happens. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] Oh, there is this one dick kid who slapped me everyday in tech class. I'm a pacifist, also, I don't want to slap a dude back. But one day my friend girl slapped him really hard and he started crying. My teacher just laughed at him. Also same kid, last year, my friend pantsed him, underwear and everything. The kid sued him for sexual harassment and assault or something,and he was suspended. Then all the teachers had to give a speech about pantsing. But my mate just played videogames while he was suspended so whatever.

[QUOTE=Saza;30171680]There's a tard (I don't know sometimes. I don't know if he is really retarded or just a huge idiot) in my seventh period. One day he came up to me and started asking me shit about Call of Duty or some generic game, I don't remember. Anyways, so he's asking me all these questions and to every single one I replied with something completely unrelated. Every time he yelled incredibly loud. It was pretty funny.[/QUOTE] My class tard/idiot kinda does the same thing. Except it's weird. He'll ask what game i'm playing (EVERY GODDAMN TIME FUCK), and I'll respond with shouting some nonsensical shit. Then he laughs with the only baby face like he just farted. Oh and he has this habit of acting like the world is a cartoon. Like he'll do weird actions. I once started flailing my hands in front of him (just to see what he'll do) and he started doing that thing Joe Pesci does in Home Alone when, in place of cursing, does this weird twitchy vocal shouts (frikit frakit rubble snut etc.). It's annoying as shit. Oh and he also does this thing where, in place of a middle finger, he makes his hand a gun and pretends to shoot you. I still have no fucking idea where he thinks that'll be offensive whatsoever. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=shatteredwindow;30171766]Oh I know this other kid, high functioning autism, pretty cool most of the time though. At lunch he got up to get something, the table steals his drink. The person who actually did it blamed it on someone else, and so my friend starts choking this kid. The cop comes over and tries to pull him off, so my friend punches him. e got tackled and arrested. Then they find out he's a derp so nothing happens. [editline]31st May 2011[/editline] Oh, there is this one dick kid who slapped me everyday in tech class. I'm a pacifist, also, I don't want to slap a dude back. But one day my friend girl slapped him really hard and he started crying. My teacher just yelled at him. Also same kid, last year, my friend pantsed him, underwear and everything. The kid sued him for sexual harassment and assault or something,and he was suspended. Then all the teachers had to give a speech about pantsing. But my mate just played videogames while he was suspended so whatever.[/QUOTE] what the fuck dude i wish i had cool friend girls

[QUOTE=shatteredwindow;30171766]Oh, there is this one dick kid who slapped me everyday in tech class. I'm a pacifist, also, I don't want to slap a dude back. But one day my friend girl slapped him really hard and he started crying. My teacher just yelled at him.[/QUOTE] Oh wait I mean laughed at him. The teacher laughed at him.