It's simple. Act like you're posting changes for a fictional Facepunch game as patch notes.
• Fixed "The OIFY" not unlocking when 4 mods were defeated in under 10 minutes.
• Fixed "Above the Above" Achievement not unlocking when all mods were defeated in Hard mode.
• Fixed crashing when changing the language from Spanish to Polish.
• Fixed crashing when changing the language from Spanish to English.
• Fixed crashing when changing the language from Spanish to Portuguese.
• Increased the multiplayer username character limit to 20 (was 5).
• Fixed the Post Count Charm not working when attempting to capture a Gold Member.
• Removed the performance warning when attempting to play on Windows 98 SE.
• Removed shader on Bruce Willis avatars.
• Added preload content for the "Dads Like Us!" DLC.
• Added preload content for the "Who is Greemen?" DLC.
• Added preload content for the "Hoff Takeover" DLC.
Your turn.
* Removed buggy Rust poster activity, moved to developer branch for regression testing and boy are they regressed
*postponed the release of newpunch again
• Improved the "Loss" detection system. Should be more precise with even more obscure references, ready to dispence justice.
• Improved the polycount on Postal's ass after numerous requests.
• Added new Dog emoticons.
• Fixed "Tyrannical Russian-Type Bullshit" achievement not unlocking after reporting certain users.
• Laid down framework for users to complain about at a later date.
• Fixed the "Bandwagon" achievement not unlocking unless the user successfully expressed their own opinions on the subject.
• Added unlockable post-weapons. These can only be obtained by earning the "20-Time Red Member" achievement.
• Changed sub-forum link GUI to stretch for wide screen monitors.
• Fixed progression issues with the "How Much Cream Is Inside [i]You[/i]?" chapter.
• Made the statues in Grip-Grab Grotto not look less suggestive.
• Capped the XP drop amount when defeating a Clockraptor to ×2 (was ×3.5).
• Reduced max volume of screaming when punching someone with a custom title.
• Increased chance of random "Newman" encounter by 5%
- Reduced base immunity of Tudd boss to bans. Added timed ability whereby two random users get banned instead of Tudd until he runs out of postable news in his attack phase.
[B]Update 2.00.34 Changelog[/B]
[B]Await a thrilling adventure in the tight story of.. Dads Like Us! Including:[/B]
• Added a brand new singleplayer mode campaign for all owners of Dads Liks Us! DLC. Explore infamous history, as you explore the darkest places of Facepunch and unravel deliquents to be banned in 7 new chapters.
• Featuring 10 exclusive unlockable emoticons and 5 avatars, earned in the singleplayer expirience.
• Added two new weapons: Forum Fragger and Wicked Playerbreaker.
• Added 6 new Single player Achievements.
[B]Also included in the update:[/B]
• Added a new subforum, the Drop Dead Thread(s).
• Adjusted numbers in the "Starpluck" event.
• Fixed progression issues with the "Toxxapocalypse" chapter.
• Fixed postal's Banning Spree ability triggering too often.
• Fixed crashing when changing the language from Spanish to Spanish.
• Fixed Toxxes. Now they have no escape clause unless you send it to our development team. Then we [I]may[/I] look into that.
• Fixed "Loss'd" Achievement not properly awarding itself after completing it's requirements.
• Removed the random "Newman" encounter. This will be reimplemented after fixing a bug which caused your character to be permanently deleted.
• Removed the statues in Grip-Grab Grotto.
• Updated localization files.
• "IMG_gold" will now allow pictures to be viewed by gold members only.
• Added an exclusive Golden Wok emote for 4.99$
• Improved the polycount on Postal's ass even more after more requests
• Sensationalist headlines should now be more accesible with new parameters that encourage users to avoid passive-aggressiveness and general indirect rudeness. Probably, anyway.
[B][I]Update 2.01.32 Changelog: [/I][/B]
• Altered RNG on the random dungeon-level encounter known as the "Badage Boys", as well as an accompanying warning to let players know when they are "back in town".
• Added in yet another polygon and LoD increase on Postal's Ass, due to widespread support from fans.
• Enhanced the "Tudd" boss' "Sensationalism Spree" ability, after many players noticed a significant lull in his usage of it recently.
• Added in a special attack for Postal available only in the "wickedplayer494" boss fight, which results in complete and utter annihilation upon use.
• Replaced the NPC "Stroheim"'s map avatar with a helicopter smacking into the ground rapidly.
• Added more ammo to the Dumb Box weapon during encounters with the Tudd boss...
• Delayed newpunch yet again.
- Removed in-game transactions. Gold membership is now granted automatically to players once they reach level 2,000 and have beaten world 5x12.
[B][U]Update 2.01.35[/U][/B]
• Had a long discussion regarding the legality of re-adding celebrity nudes and ultimately did not reach a conclusion. Delaying until further notice.
[B][U]Update 2.01.36[/U][/B]
• Fixed bug in ITNN causing first reply on new page to be uneditable
EDIT: Patch failed, ITNN is still broken
[B]Update 2.01.37[/B]
Renamed In the News Node to Sponsored Spambots.
Made Tudd a banword in a small number of zones.
Delayed the 'Newpunch' update by three months.
[U][B]Update 2.01.38[/B][/U]
[B]Fast Threads: [/B]Banned porn threads.
[U][B]Update 2.01.39[/B][/U]
[B]Fast Threads:[/B] Unbanned porn threads.
[U][B]Update 2.01.40[/B]
[/U]
[B]Fast Threads:[/B] Banned posting nudity in porn threads, allowed to link to external sources.
[B]Dark Seer:[/B] Vacuum cooldown increased by 1.
[B]Update 2.01.42[/B]
• Added secret ritual to call the Johnnymo1 summon.
• Moved the "LMAO" levels from the "Fast Threads" world to "GD".
• Removed Postal's "World Tour" ability.
• Added in secret Mr. Apple boss fight.
* Add a tutorial instructing the genre the players play.*
* Remove poster which have sexy female monster to replace it with abstract art*
* Change the color or black users to a more lighter black*
