News Flash! - Write a news headline using four words and a tagline with three

[Phobos001]

Write funny headlines using four words, and optionally follow them up with a tagline using only three words.

Examples (May or may not be funny):

[quote][b]PREGNANT BABY WINS OLYMPICS[/b] - Well balanced diet[/quote]

[quote][b]SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST[/b] - Hamsters steal knifes[/quote]

[quote][b]FRANCIUM WATER-PARK NOW OPEN[/b][/quote]

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE][B]PHOBOS001 MAKES CRAP THREAD[/B] - And it stinks[/QUOTE]

[MaximLaHaxim]

[quote][b]KANYE WEST FOUND ALIVE[/b] - Tragic, Horrible Occurance[/quote]

[A Sock Accnt]

[qote] (+bold) LOCAL MAN MISUSES BBCODE [/bold] {/quote}

[bitches]

[QUOTE=A Sock Accnt;50601772][qote] (+bold) LOCAL MAN MISUSES BBCODE [/bold] {/quote}[/QUOTE]

[quote][b]LOCAL MAN LEARNS BBCODE[/b] - A humiliating experience[/quote]

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE][B]FOOT HEADS ARMS BODY[/B] - Best real headline[/QUOTE]