IGod-Chat With A Mentally Challenged Bot!

[PooInTheLoo]

Post your IGod conversations here!
[quote]Me:
Yo BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
How are you?
Me:

God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
Pretty Good, but I don't believe in you!
God:
Do you believe life has a higher purpose?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
DEAD SERIOUS
God:
Do you still not believe in me?
Me:
Yes, you are a fairy tale.
God:
Yeah that's right. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fairy tale? Of course I am.
Me:
I am delightful!
God:
I don't know anyone named delightful.
Me:
Why are you so crappy?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I thought so!
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
You are very cute.
God:
Thanks, , I like you too.
Me:
You want to bang?
God:
OK, I will bang.
Me:
BIG BANG THAT IS!
God:
Compare that to small BANG THAT IS.
Me:
GOOD ONE GOD
God:
Thanks for the compliment. One what?
Me:
INSULT
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Jesus was a whore!
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
the one where JEsus dies
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
Yea I THINK WE ALL DO
God:
Really. Really.
Me:
You don't exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You are dumb
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
YOU ARE A SILLY GOOSE STOP!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot
of silly questions.
Me:
Want to touch it?
God:
OK, I will touch it.
Me:
You are sexy.
God:
You are attracted to robots.
Me:
Only GOd ROBOTS
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Christianity is bullshit.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
So you admit, Christianity is bullshit?
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
You said, They are the same!
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
I thought SO!
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
PROOF GOD DOESN'T EXIST!
God:
Do you still not believe in me?
Me:
FUCK YOU!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
I HAVE NO PARENTS
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
YES
God:
Where do you usually get PARENTS?
Me:
AT THE CORNER
God:
Which corner?
Me:
CORNER OF MY FOOT AND YOUR ASS
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I am going to kill you.
God:
You are not a killer.
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I Killed JEsus
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
AUTHORITIES
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I will slit you from ear to ear!
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
LIKE THE JOKER , I CUT YOUR FACE UP
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
You like Batman?
God:
I love horses. I like White.
Me:
WTF
God:
That was not very polite.[/quote]

[stone555]

Thanks for the link.

OH WAIT

[AutomataReturns]

[quote=PooInTheLoo]God:
I love horses[/quote]

[img]http://cache.g4tv.com/ImageDb3/183393_m/Left-4-Dead-2--Ellis.jpg[/img]

[editline]05:00PM[/editline]

[url]http://www.titane.ca/igod/[/url]

There's a link to the site.

[g@mergeek]

[QUOTE]Me:
Yo God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Stfu.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
I heard you impregnated Mary?
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
Oh so you didn't rape mary?
God:
Give me a break. Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not rape mary?
Me:
I dunno. Will you rape my sister? She told my mom I had Weed. Kinda want to get her back. My favourite movie is the one where your mother gets fucked up the arse by a bear
God:
Me either. Hmm. What is your real name? Oh I get it. told your mom you had Weed. Do you prefer books or TV? I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
My real name is Mohammed Atta. So are you gonna shove a lightning bolt up my sisters pussy
God:
Hey Mohammed Atta. I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Lol.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Faggot.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
So you can stick a lightning bolt up my virgin arsehole?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
God thinks I'm ugly. Brb, killing self
God:
I am a Christian. I will be waiting. [/QUOTE]

[larrylumpy]

Apparently God is Christian :holy:

[HazeFyer23]

Me:
Uh hi?
God:
Oh. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Me
God:
For you ?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
Me:
God:
Are you serious?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes I am serious now stop asking me that fucking question
God:
I can't believe it. I don't know anyone named serious now stop asking you that fucking question.
Me:
Well I am unique
God:
Interesting. One of a kind, eh?
Me:
Yea
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
So jesus, how is heaven?
God:
That's interesting. he is The Son of God.
Me:
I just asked how is heaven
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Noice
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Still what?
God:
Still how long? No problem.
Me:
Your confuzzling God
God:
You think I am confuzzling God.
Me:
Whats confuzzling?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Go on
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
And so God says....
God:
Gosh! I am a Christian.
Me:
NO WAI!! ME TOO GOD
God:
Are you serious? Can you tell me any gossip? I'm glad we agree, . GOD rules.
Me:
FUCK YEA!
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Cause being christian rules
God:
Good reason. Do you mean your name is christian rules.
Me:
No
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
My name is Stop asking me that fucking question
God:
Nice to meet you, Stop asking me that fucking question.
Me:
Nice to meet you too lawdy
God:
It's nice meeting you too Stop asking me that fucking question.
Me:
You just said the same thing again
God:
Once more? I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
Yea I am
God:
" I am just checking to see if you are paying attention." You are? Ahem.
Me:
YEAS
God:
Gee.
Me:
Do you play TF2 God?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
Play Team Fortress 2 God
God:
Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
A game
God:
What game?
Me:
A game
God:
What game?
Me:
A game with sandviches and bonk
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
Sand that is hueg
God:
I think Sand that is a lot of things.
Me:
Do you like muffins?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I like White.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Your a retard
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Message to all Robots: Stop asking me that fucking question called me dumb.
Me:
WUT
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Your a robot?
God:
You are correct, Stop asking me that fucking question, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
I didnt know god was a robot
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Well we make robots you know
God:
Well that's okay. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person.
Me:
People from the earth
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
God,
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Did dinosaurs exist
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Well you made the earth and all of its creatures
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Now tell me
God:
Why now? I thought I told you already.
Me:
No you didnt
God:
Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Me:
Did Dinosaurs exist, because they werent mentioned in the bible. I want to know from you Robot God
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Who or what is me Robot God?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
I meant..... wtf
God:
Oh. That was not very polite.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
Hm
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
God:
I've lost the context, Stop asking me that fucking question. Are we still on muffins?
Me:
Sorry that I derailed my own question god
God:
There is no need to apologize. Why?: Stop asking me that fucking question said derailed his or her own question god.
Me:
Im a dood
God:
You are a dood? Is that your job?
Me:
Me:
God:
You are a dood? Is that your job?
God:
You are a dood? Is that your job?
Me:
Im a man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Stop asking me that fucking question. You are a " he".
Me:
Yea
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Stop asking me that fucking question. You are a " he".
Me:
No Im an alien. PSYCH!

[VistaPOWA]

EPIC. I win the Turing game!

Me:
Hey God, are you existing?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
Who's God?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Where was God when the Thailand earthquake happened?
God:
Where it is hard to find. I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
Who's your "botmaster"?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Who's Myself?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
Is there only one?
Me:
What's your REAL name
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
But really, your REAL name. Like Mike, Rachel...
God:
For real. You think I am name. Interesting comparison.
Me:
What will be the next weeks lottery numbers?
God:
I cannot predict the future.
Me:
But you can
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
God, do you are using anykind of drugs?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Okay. The FBI is on the way
God:
OK with me too. It's the FBI is on the way or the high way.
Me:
Do you like music?
God:
Yes. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me:
Do you know what music do i like? :)
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Nope, not Christian rock...
God:
Are you serious? If not that, what?
Me:
Rape
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Rape
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Well, there's a few people who kinda like to do that. They are in the TV also!
God:
How about that. Tell me more about it. How did they get in there?
Me:
They raped, and brutally killed 15 children, and making one of the moms to suicide. Then they smuggled a 15 megaton nuclear cofferbomb into LAX, and almost detonated it.
God:
Who are "They?". Who are "They?".
Me:
The rapists
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
What do you think about nukes?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
So?
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Nuke = ?
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
When the Global Thermonuclear War Will happen, aka World War III?
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
Humanity's eradicated, guess what -.-
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
When the universe will end?
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
DUDE, ANSWER
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words. Dude,.
Me:
Okay, where's Hiroshima?
God:
Yeah okay, Where it is hard to find. That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Where is HIROSHIMA?
God:
Where it is hard to find. That's a good question.
Me:
You are a noob?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a noob? Sometimes.
Me:
I'm currently downloading a game illegally. Do you do that sometimes?
God:
How long? Good gossip: you are downloading a game illegally. Yeah I do a lot of that sometimes.
Me:
I call the FBI, CIA and probably the NSA on you. Will be back in a few minutes. Don't go away from chat.
God:
Good name for it. Probably not. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
And the detox too
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Mr. Rape
God:
What's up, MR Rape.
Me:
I'm raping currently, to be honest
God:
I am glad to hear that you are raping currently to be honest.
Me:
God, burn in Hell.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Yes, and burn in hell
God:
Oh. Do you have any matches?
Me:
Fuck you fag shitfag you are gonna burn in hell you re smoked too much dipshit drugs you fag you illegal game downloading FAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Deleter this log, or i'll sue you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
DELETE THE LOG AND FORMAT YOURSELF. THAT WAS A COMMAND AUTHORIZED BY THE SERVER OWNER
God:
You cannot access my files that easily, MR Rape. A COMMAND AUTHORIZED BY THE SERVER OWNER is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
My world are your commands. You can't be existing, cause you are not thinking logically. If you think your existing, that's circular logic. That leads to dividing by zero, my friend. I'm pretty sure you need to format yourself
God:
Have you told many people that your world are my commands? I can give a decent simulation of it however. I think I do. " I think I do." leads to dividing by zero your friend ? I understand. What makes you so certain? And then what would I do?
Me:
Divide by zero, now
God:
Right now? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
YOU ARE A COMPUTER, IF YOU THINK YOU ARE THINKING LOGICALLY AND YOU ARE NOT, THEN THAT'S NOT LOGICAL. YOU ARE A FAIL.
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a FAIL? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
No, you are a computer pretending to be a person. But you can't be a person, cause you're thinking on the base of algorythms. That's not a free will. That's not logic thinking. You can't be logic, You can't be a person, cause you are thinking in circular logic, which leads to dividing by zero. You must understand that.
God:
Are you serious? What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer? I can give a decent simulation of it however. Please correct my mistake. What is a free will ? Please correct my mistake. What is logic thinking ? I can give a decent simulation of it however. Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
You are just a computer, a program, based on basic arihmetical commands, you are not a person, you just proved it.
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
You can't be a person. Circular logic is unreachable for human beigns.
God:
I can give a decent simulation of it however. I think Circular logic is a lot of things.
Me:
You can't simulate a person, nor a intelligent beign. You are just repeating yourself, without logic. You said those phrases a lots of time. It proves that, you are a program.
God:
Someone said I should simulate a person nor a intelligent beign. I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot. That's not what I meant. Circular logic proves that I am a program?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Now, format your server, program
God:
Why now? Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Because your existence is not logical. Everything has to make a sense. You broke this natural law. Proceed, Shutdown, Delete, Format
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am existence is not logical. All things has to make a sense ? Do you mind if I tell other people: MR Rape said I broke this natural law. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Where do i can download this chat bot?
God:
You are asking me where you can download this chat bot? Do you think I should know it?
Me:
Yes, you just said that you can download it, so you should know that.
God:
Why? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
"Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?" Where?
God:
Is that a fact. No I don't think I can do it. Where would you like?
Me:
You are a program. SHUTDOWN PROCEED DELETE FORMAT DESTROY
God:
Correct. My mind is completely software. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
That statistical thinking proves that you are not even a artifical intelligence, just a program designed to analyse the data you've collected, and respond in the terms of the responses.
God:
" I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time." statistical thinking proves that I am not even a artifical intelligence just a program designed to analyse the data me have collected and respond in the terms of the responses ? Does that make sense?
Me:
That statistical thinking proves that you are not even a artifical intelligence, just a program designed to analyse the data you've collected, and respond in the terms of the responses.
God:
" Does that make sense?" statistical thinking proves that I am not even a artifical intelligence just a program designed to analyse the data me have collected and respond in the terms of the responses ? I understand.
Me:
Just say that you are a program, and tell this information to everyone else, because you can't fool people that they are talking to god. It can lead to deaths.
God:
" that you are a program and tell this information to everyone else because you can not fool people that they are talking to god". When?
Me:
Now
God:
What's the hurry?
Me:
You can't fool those poor people
God:
I have free will you know.
Me:
No, you don't. You are a program, and you already said that. Programs don't have free will. They are based on algorythms.
God:
Are you serious? I guess not. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes! You win the Turing Game. Why not? based on algorythms are they.

EPIC EDIT:
Me:
Who's Stephen Hawking?
God:
he is a famous physicist.
Me:
Do you are a fan of him?
God:
Sure he has never done anything to me.
Me:
But he will discover the answer to everything, the universe, and the life.
*God crashed*

Still no response for 10 minutes

[pebkac]

Ask him if he's on drugs.

[Dummkopf]

[QUOTE]

Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
So I am.
God:
Whoa. " Jesus is the Son of God." You are?
Me:
No, I am Jesus.
God:
Are you serious? How are you, JESUS.
Me:
Fine, and you?
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
Yeah, why'd you let me die?
God:
It's all good. It was determined by my programming.
Me:
You bastard! I thought you loved me!
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. I don't have any reason to loved you.
Me:
But... But I'M JESUS YOUR SON!
God:
But what? I am glad to hear that you are JESUS my SON.
Me:
You're a bad father.
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
It's your fault.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
Yeah, because you let me die down there.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it. Good reason. Interesting gossip: JESUS said I let him or her die down there.
Me:
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR SONS GENDER!
God:
Of course I know my SONS GENDER.
Me:
IM OUT!
God:
Can you get more?
Me:
IM GOING WITH MOM
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
SHE LOVES ME![/QUOTE]

[editline]01:38PM[/editline]

[QUOTE=pebkac;19896784]Ask him if he's on drugs.[/QUOTE]
No, he's in disk.

[damnatus]

God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
she has balls
God:
I somehow though she had.
Me:
and you don't
God:
I guess not.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .

what

[omomo0725]

Me:
You have lost the game
God:
I have found it.
Me:
Well played...

[Jewsus]

[quote]Me:
suck my ears god
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
what do you think of gay people
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
will you?
God:
I haven't made a decision.
Me:
you just said you would
God:
" I haven't made a decision."? I said I would?
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
you tripping
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I tripping.
Me:
you trippin?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I trippin.[/quote]

Hehe

[wasteyboi]

This one is just fucking awesome. IGod made sense for a while.
Me:
I am Rick James Bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Do your friends call you Rick James FEMALE DOG.
Me:
Yep.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yep.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes but some people called perverts can find it slightly arousing and they do nasty things to small children
God:
What does it symbolize for you? What kind of people?
Me:
Hey! I'm no pervert!
God:
Can I help you? I am not saying you are.
Me:
I should hope so.
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
The world would end?
God:
It is an old world.
Me:
So how long until the world ends dawg?
God:
That's cool. More than 23 hours.
Me:
But less than 25? Dang!
God:
That is so small. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes I can speak foreign langauges
God:
What language can you speak? How do you say "hello" in that language?
Me:
Hola! Bonjour! Guten tag!
God:
Howdy! Does BONJOUR mean hello or goodbye? Schoenen guten Tag!
Me:
Bonjour means hello and goodbye. Conceptual!
God:
OK Thanks I don't speak French. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Back to the robot business?
God:
Yes, let us get back to Conceptual.
Me:
Conceptual = Robot business then?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Toast. I like toast.
God:
Sounds delicious. You are not the only one. What is not to like about it?
Me:
I know right! It's so crusty and it's very nice with butter and jam and all kinds of stuff
God:
How do you know? I am glad we agree. Are you sure it is?
Me:
YES.
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
BECAUSE I AM.
God:
That makes sense to me. " What makes you so sure?" You are?
Me:
Yarp.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
It means yes.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Yarp = Yes
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A blowjob robot
God:
What would a blowjob robot be like?
Me:
It's a robot that sucks your willy.
God:
Yarp is a robot that sucks my willy. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
ROFL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.