So i live in a house with 4 other guys from uni.
We've been together for around 2 years, it's a great place to live and we have a lot of nice stuff there.
However there has been a problem brewing for a long time now. Me and a good friend of mine live in this house, the other two are called M & O with the 3rd person being a randomer who just moved in.
O is obsessed with cleaning, and loves living in a house like that of a 40 year old. He is also extremely passive aggressive. When he has a problem with you he won't tell you, but instead will do something subversive or underhanded to get his way, but will deny anything if you talk to him.
Several times this has happened. Eg. we all decided on rent prices together, and settled it. About a day later O sends round an email to everyone saying that he is changing the rent prices, and just leaves it. We continue paying what we agreed on, which then starts to cause discrepancies and he then blames us for it.Nearly every such change he tries to do by email (even if we are in the next room), and then says that because we didn't answer we agreed to it. He also does other stuff, like switching the coffee table to a smaller one, since apparently he want's everyone to eat by the dining table, or putting dirty dishes on my desk (which he assumed were mine, and didn't even tell me about). Essentially he never voices any issues, he just tries to "hint" to people by doing strange things.
M on the other hand is obsessed with doing sport mostly, so he just stays in the gym half the time. He's a pretty nice guy, who shares a room with O. We've never had really any problems with him, and at most we may have talked about dishes once or twice, but nothing major.
Yesterday me and my mate come back home from being away for a week. We had already told M & O that when we got back we were going to have a big housemate meeting to sort out all the rent, cleaning, and other problems. They had agreed to do this, and we were happy that we could get all of it out in the open since tensions had been building. The other month we had asked O (who was putting up posters looking for a new flatmate) that we wanted to meet anyone that might live here (bad previous experience with crazy housemate). We told him to tell us when we could meet some of the candidates if any called. O initially agrees, but then 2 weeks later i get an email saying that he has found a new housemate, taken his deposit, and that he will be moving in in 2 weeks. His explanation for this was that he wanted to do it quickly. A simple phone call to ask us about it would have probably been OK, but instead he did it by himself, and left us to deal with it.
The first thing we noticed when we got back was that the TV (a really nice flat-screen, that we all pooled our money for equally to buy) was missing. We ask M where it is. He tells us "Me & O think that the TV is being used to much, so we have taken it away and locked it in the garage". When he is surprised that we are pissed off that he has taken our TV away, he goes on a massive rant. He starts accusing us of being addicted to TV, and that it is all we do (hilarious, as both of us have had full time jobs for the last few months). We tell him it is not his choice to take it away, since we all own it. He then goes mad again, and starts saying that guest are around too often. The implication being that instead of telling guests that we are busy that night, we should take away household appliances so they aren't tempted to come round and play games. The crux of it was though, that he thought that we should take the TV away for a few days to learn to live without using it. Ironically if he had asked me about it, i might even have agreed to try it, but instead he act's like a parent, and "takes it away".
You may be thinking "wow, this is petty", and it really is. Coming home to find that the TV is taken away, and the key to the garage has been "confiscated" is not what I expected. We tried reasoning with M after that (O was away until later), saying that if he didn't want people watching TV late (which he often does, but we let it slide) then we could make a new rule saying no TV between 10pm to 7am. He flat out refused to cooperate, and started to get more and more aggressive. At one point it ended up with him in my face shouting at me that we were parasites, and that they wanted to kick us out earlier. Incredibly, we had never heard of any of this up until now. If anything M isn't the cleanest guy either, but i have never held it against him but he implies that everything bad in the house is our fault. My suspicion is that O has put him up to it, since he doesn't "approve" of us eating subway on the coffee table, or leaving behind dishes occasionally. If he told me about it, i would make every effort to be accommodating and I have told him as much, but every time he will say "no, everything is fine".
M seems to also not be in such a good state, since whenever we try and reason and explain to him that he cannot take away an item that we all own, he will get angrier and angrier and get up in our faces like he was about to pummel one of us. He used to be a really reasonable guy, but recently he seems to get angry and act unreasonable. We are in a position where we are thinking of leaving the house, since it appears that all they want to do is get us to quietly sit all day in our rooms, and have the house dead silent all day. It is not how I want to live, espc. since during our time here at this house we have never once had a party.
So what I really want is some advice really, or perhaps a reality check as to whether i am overreacting to this. Personally i consider it offensive that they would confiscate an item that I jointly own, because they feel that they somehow have the right to do so. It's just wrong, and the fact that they waited until we left to do it shows how cowardly they are.
O has aspargus
[img]http://www.assuredproduce.co.uk/resources/000/140/470/asparagus_main.jpg[/img]
Get some help for the guy. Don't discuss it with him, just ask some professional to come over and talk to him. And if it goes wrong, don't stop.
To be honest I am worried about talking to M. He acts extremely aggressive if you question what he says, and will escalate it quickly to a shouting match. His arguments lack logic so it is hard to talk to him. Tbh i am worried that he will pummel me into the ground if he snaps.
Beat the shit out of him.
He's bigger than me.
What kind of grown man calls people parasites
People around here stopped using that as an insult in like 5th grade and even before then it was just nerds saying it
Ask for your and your friend's part of the money or DEMAND the TV back.
M has recently started taking steroids
I think you should invite N over so M and O have something to keep them apart for a bit.
:downsrim:
Ask him why he is acting strange recently.
M's on steroids
O is autistic.
[QUOTE=Kiwi Bird;25074748]M's on steroids[/QUOTE]
Not enough info about your friend to determine anything.
You're ordinary.
Are M and O female or something? Maybe in their 40s?
I think that it's not worth living with people like that. I think they had the suggestion of kicking you out in the back of their minds the whole time.
Or they're female.
Both are guys. Tomorrow O gets back and we will try and discuss it. I doubt much will get sorted, by the sounds of it O set this up so we would get pissed and leave. If we do though, it's going to be lanageddon 2010 at our house till we leave.
seeing as you and your friend also paid for the TV you should take it for the hell of it.
We can't get in the garage. The fuckers planned it so O left with one key fob, and left M a reprogrammed fob so that we would waste our time trying to use it. While we were away, they stalled talking to us so they could do this.
[QUOTE=Kris2456;25076204]We can't get in the garage. The fuckers planned it so O left with one key fob, and left M a reprogrammed fob so that we would waste our time trying to use it. While we were away, they stalled talking to us so they could do this.[/QUOTE]
Do they have a car? (so you can hide their keys)
Cellphone?
Something you can hide?
oh, once you go this path of revenge and "blackmailing" there's no turning back to the "let's talk this over" so make your choice
Well, I suppose you could try talking it over and telling them that you paid for it and that you deserve to be able to use it and at least be able to make a compromise.
If not, do what Red_Eyes says, they have no right to take your stuff away that you paid for so you may as well do it back to them.
And I wouldn't suggest living with people like that, they're just tantrum throwers who stampped their feet as a kid to get what they want.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
