Self-explanatory. For little to no effort, use >text!
>get kickass job at pub across the road from home
>"remember, don't give your friends free drinks"
>"remember, don't give your friends free drinks"
>"remember, don't give your friends free drinks"
>give friends free drinks
>get fired
[img]http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/well-fuck-your-shit.jpg[/img]
>Smash down nails with foot
>Nail goes through foot
>"Oh goddammit."
I mom fucked and she pregnant wth
[QUOTE=Meatmuppet;22286841]I mom fucked and she pregnant wth[/QUOTE]
hot
>Sharpen sharpen sharpen.
>Have a look at the edge to check progress.
>Sneeze.
>"What the he- Ooh, I'm bleeding."
>Scar on eyebrow.
>Find car cigarette lighter in used car.
>Smash finger down on the coil.
>Scar on thumb for rest of my life.
>Turn on desk-fan.
>Get erection.
>Get fresh air to little man.
>A bit too close.
Reaction:
>HOLY MOTHERFUCKER OF GOD!
Just glad it was on the setting "1", it did no real damage.
> Smash a cars roof flat with a forklift
> Get told it was a wrong car
> Get told it was going to be sold
> Feel like I should crawl into the deepest hole on earth and never climb out
I didn't get fired for that, people just kept bringing it up for the rest of the summer. :v:
Just to let you know im 17 and this all happend last night...
This is what a bottle of The Famous Grouse looks like:[IMG]http://www.thegreenwellystop.co.uk/whiskyshop/images/uploads/famousgrouse2.jpg[/IMG]
>Drank a bottle of Budweiser
>Decided to drink some whiskey
>Opened A brand new bottle of The Famous Grouse
>Had way too many shots (drank at least half the bottle)
>went out and got a lamb curry
>got back, sat infront of tv eating the curry and having another bottle of
Budweiser
>finished what WAS an unopened bottle of The Famous Grouse
>Scared my mum to death as she walks in to find me swimming in my sick.
>Almost died because of vomiting whilst sleeping (could of easily choked on vomit)
>Woke up next morning with a monster head ache and dryed up sick all over my face
Reaction: How the fuck am I still alive?
>Wake up
>Fall out of bed
>Realize your on top bunk
Reaction: Muzzled up scream as pain surges through me
> Glass fell on floor and shattered
> My mom cleaned the floor but warned my "don't walk around without something on your feet as usual"
> Fuck that
> Small piece of sharp glass on feet
> A simple "fuuuu" cannot describe my reaction
[QUOTE=Red_Eyes;22290449]> Glass fell on floor and shattered
> My mom cleaned the floor but warned my "don't walk around without something on your feet as usual"
> Fuck that
> Small piece of sharp glass on feet
> A simple "fuuuu" cannot describe my reaction[/QUOTE]
This. So many fucking times.
Also:
>Get into habit of drinking any unattended water on the counter.
>See water, drink water, repeat.
>Aha! Unattended water, I shall drink it.
>It's vinegar.
>:barf:
>in a trip, asked dad wtf is this yellow liquid in the bottle
>he says pineapple juice
>take a sip
>vomit and realize it is oil
>Smash an egg with your cock
>It was boiled
>Can't fap for a week
>Start playing WoW
>Get to level 80
>Guy tells you to type /played
>Realize you wasted 14 days of your life playing with a shit of character
Reaction: Fuck it, continue playing
>Notice how toaster oven gets red hot
>Grab oven mitt
>Touch red hot heating pipes with oven mitt
>Notice sizzling noise, keep touching
>See the glove go ablaze and throw it
>Call dad because im too scared to throw the glove into the sink
>Lose a 50$ stove
>Play with friends sword
>Challenge him to race back with swords
>Be told not to run
>run with sword
>Stab self in ankle
>permanent scar for rest of life
reaction
>dude just gimme a band-aid its not so- OH FUCK I CAN BARELY WALK
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