I'm not the best at typing
There was so much he was helping me and my brother with getting a new car for brother and teaching me how to drive and help me get a job
He just bought a house up in Oregon idk what's going to happen to it
This the last time my mom is going to see him
He seemed so fine this morning
We we're going to go to Oregon for Christmas
I don't know what to do
I'm wearing his watch right now
Hey man I'm sorry. I hope you can find some help, and comfort with your brother and mother. Losing a parent really sucks, so just take it a step at a time, even if it's an extremely small step forward. Your dad would be proud of you for even being able to get out of bed to brush your teeth.
You're panicking, but you need to stay offline and with your family today.
I'm extremely sorry for what happened, my condolences man. All those things tho are material possessions. It'll get sorted with time. Take time to be with your family, your brother and mother. Take care of each other that's the most important step first. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. I'm so sorry man.
Unfortunately, there's no easy way to cope with a loss. It's a little different for everyone.
It's going to hurt. Whatever you're feeling is real, and it isn't going to go away for a while. It'll come in waves, and eventually subside. The trick is to not run from it. Allow yourself to experience your emotions.
Give it a couple of days, then schedule to meet with a therapist or school counselor. It's their job to help you sort through what you're feeling.
Stay away from the internet for a while.
Message me if you want to call and talk to someone.
I'm sorry this has happened.
Your world will glue itself back together over time, even if it's blown into a million pieces right now. Don't worry about the future right now, you've got the rest of your life for that. Worry about the now, and be with your family. Just focus on getting through one day at a time.
Cry. Hug. Celebrate the wonderful man your father was and live on for him. He's never truly gone if you keep your memories of him with you. Memories fade when they aren't recalled, so think of the good times you shared with him to keep them warm and close to you.
sorry for your loss, man. there's no easy solution here but like others have said the main thing to know is that it definitely gets better with time, as hard as that probably is to believe right now. i'm not sure how similar our situations are given that I at least had about a 3 year heads up on it coming, but my dad also just died about a month ago. best advice I can give you from experience is to just not worry yet about all the stuff that will need to be sorted for now and focus on giving yourself some time to cope first (shit can wait and anyone should understand you needing time anyways), focus on being with your family, and when you're able, find yourself someone to talk (vent) to cause that'll help a LOT. the first few days after certainly suck but believe it or not it gets better little by little, so just hang in there.
Hey I've been through the same many years ago. PM me if you need someone to vent to.
Happened to me a little over four years ago, I was a mix of emotions for a while until a few months later before I started getting much more emotional. You never really get over it in the long run, always comes back.
Thank you everyone
Some of my family came down and are coming down from from Oregon and my mother came down with my older brother too
My dad's sisters are really torn up about this
And a lot family friends are too
My dad was supposed to go to a bank Christmas party today his boss doesn't know what happened yet they own him a lot for what he did for them idk how going to find another person like him
[editline]9th December 2017[/editline]
His birthday was next week too
My mother died a few years ago, and it took a toll on my mental and physical health. I have recovered a lot since then, so feel free to PM me if you feel you might need some direction.
My father died too when i was in middle school,because he suffered stroke.
He passed at midnight on that same day when he got stroke.
Its very heavy for me since we are pretty close.
Eventually,time healed my open wound.
This also serves me as reminder:
-Smokes are dangerous as hell
-Death could comes at anytime and anywhere
My dad passed away in 2015 from Prostate Cancer. Nothing worse then watching someone you love and respect shrivel into nothing in a hospital bed. The important thing is that you have a support unit of friends and family around you. Be there for them, as much as they're there for you. I know it feels like theres a 1000 foot wide hole in your chest right now, and in truth its never really going to go away. I still have it. But it heals over time.
Best thing you can do right now is, like others have mentioned, not worry about whats going to happen tomorrow, or next month or next year. Things can and will sort themselves out. Be there for your family, and be there for yourself as well. What happened is extremely traumatic and heartbreaking. You're going to feel powerless, cheated and at many times angry. These are all natural and normal things to feel when a loved one passes, especially as sudden. Be strong for your family, but at the same time dont bottle up your emotions and "tough it out". Feel your feelings, when you want to feel them.
I also lost my dad a couple of years ago, very sudden, one day I was with him and the next day I got a call from mom saying he was dead.
I think there are many ways to deal with this kind of thing. I don't believe my way of doing it was the best, but I bottled it up and didn't really talk about how I personally felt or thought, I've never been good with emotions of that kind so I just tried to be strong for the rest of my family and support them as best as I could
Been through something similar myself, it's hard, there's no sugarcoating it. The only advice I can offer is the same as everyone else here, spend as much time with your family. Both them and yourself will need the support.
I'm so sorry for your loss man.
Don't rush to make things normal again, because normality as you used to know it no longer exists. That sounds worse than it is, though. Just bear with it, and let the way you feel now -- how you are now -- come to you naturally, rather than throwing on a brave face.
It's okay to not be okay.
People here gave you good advice.
My dad died on October 3rd, 2011. Stroke. All I can say is that time heals all wounds. Remember the good memories. One of these days, however long it takes, you will be all right.
It's alright OP. Last year my father passed early in the year, and it's still affecting my whole family. Just today I went through some of the ornaments and some of them were his/my moms. I wear his watch every day I can just because it was something he always wore, and it does really help. So it's good that you have his to wear - it makes a world of difference.
I wish I had some sort of magic remedy to give you that'll make it all better, but I don't. All I can say is that you'll have good days, you'll have bad days, but just never forget what he actually did for you. As long as you do that and strive to honor his memory every day then you'll be doing him proud.
I need to get my dad's watch fitted
And see if I can fix his uncle's or great grandfather's Rolex
it took me like a whole year to get over my fathers death back in 2014. Same thing, sudden death, didnt know what to do.
If im being really honest, you never get over this stuff, you learn to live with the pain.
Give yourself time to think, to heal, and be ready for a lot of suffering, which is required in the whole procress.
I just now literally arrived from my cousins funeral. 24 years old, car accident. Two weeks from getting his diploma. This is my fifth funeral from close family. My grandparents on my mothers side, then my father, then my grandmother from my dads side and now my cousin on my dads side too. This las t funeral was the most heartbreaking of all them, but ironically, the one i had the most peace with.
I dont know if its time, pain, getting used to or peace, but the firsts hits are always the hardests. I remember my dads death and the first time getting dumped as the most pain i have felt ever. I wanted to die everyday for like 6 months. If you hold to the people who love you, your mother, your friends, anyone, as hard as you can, the black hole of depression starts little by little to fade away. IT feels like eternity, but i cannot say this enough: that shit passes, and its incredible when it happens, because it feels like it will never arrive, until it does.
Be strong man, love your family as hard as you can everyday, this will pass. Your father will only truly die the day its people stop remembering him and applying his doings. I truly hope you get through all this and learn as much as you must.
A big hug man.
[editline]11th December 2017[/editline]
i too use my fathers watch to this day.
I too am part of the Dead Father's Watch Club, happened when I was 16.
Toughest part is just being your own man and having to figure things out for yourself from this point onward. Stay strong, and make him proud!
Best of luck man, i know what its like to lose a father suddenly and without warning. As others have already stated its best to be with family in trying times such as this .
me and my twin brother were going through his stuff and i found this in it
[t]https://i.imgur.com/Ga064X3.jpg[/t]
[t]https://i.imgur.com/EZzjEe3.jpg[/t]
i going to miss him so much
[QUOTE=psychofox67;52963267]I'm not the best at typing
There was so much he was helping me and my brother with getting a new car for brother and teaching me how to drive and help me get a job
He just bought a house up in Oregon idk what's going to happen to it
This the last time my mom is going to see him
He seemed so fine this morning
We we're going to go to Oregon for Christmas
I don't know what to do
I'm wearing his watch right now[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry you lost your dad.
Don't be afraid to express yourself, ask questions, or just talk to people. If you need to use the forum you should do it if it helps. Make sure you take care of yourself and your family. Stay away from drugs or alcohol, these are not good coping mechanisms. Surround yourself with people who can help and support you.
Just whatever you do - take care of yourself. Don't allow your own health, relationships, and goals degrade. Remember your dad and honor him by doing the best you can everyday.
I'm really sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to have lost someone close. Just hang in there and spend as much time with your family as you can. The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself which will make it worse. Let me know whenever you feel the need to chat.
My dad would of turned 57 today
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