I have been crying for two hours - General

First of all, this is not to whore attention, ratings or anything. I just need a place to vent out all these fucking feelings. I'm sorry, I just need help man. I am addicted to cannabis and cigarettes and all that sort of shit. I am lonely. My only real life "friends" are people I smoke cannabis with, but they lie to me, they pressure me and they steal from me. They aren't hug-able at all because they are all just a bunch of heartless idiots who are abusing my life. I have a massive gender dysphoria problem(wow Chrome's spell-checker is just horrible, doesn't even know what dysphoria is) and that just makes it hurt inside of me all the time. I am basically depressed most of the time. On top of that, I have paranoid schizophrenia, and that is just some horrible shit I can tell you. Since I moved out, everything has been horrible, I might be an adult but inside I am still a child that needs some love from her mother and father. I just want a hug from someone. I just want to hug someone for hours and just cry on their shoulders about how pathetic a waste of life I am(pathetic socially retarded clumsy unintentional attention-whore and junkie) and tell them how much I love them and how thankful I am for them to be alive. Out here there is no love, no care, nothing good. I cant even move home because my schizophrenia makes me a burden for my family. That, and my mom is psychotic and completely unable to be nearby as of now. I cant call my dad because he got tired of my moms shit and went to Jutland with my sister, to have a nice pause from being in the same house as someone who screams all the time and punishes everyone in insane manners. I moved away because of her. (God I hope my mom doesn't browse Facepunch, incredibly unlikely anyway) I just want a fucking hug. I don't know what to do at all. I am just lost. Life and the world feels hellish. Extremely hellish.

My fiance of 6 years left me for a guy at McDonalds. \:v:/

You dont have messages enabled or whatever so I'll just post this here Hey there pal, I'm really sorry that you are going through so much. I don't know you very well, but I'd like to say that you probably aren't as bad a person as you think you are. It's very hard to feel that way though when you are surrounded by people like that. Your home life sounds mega rough too. I can't be there to hug you, but I can at least hug you through text as lame as that is. ****HUGGGGG****** You can get through this, friend. If you ever want someone to talk to, I'm good at listening. If not though, I understand, I just wanted to try cheering you up a bit. Hang in there, friend

[QUOTE=wallagunk;45472985]My fiance of 6 years left me for a guy at McDonalds. \:v:/[/QUOTE] Hey man :C to op: I know exactly how you feel right now. My mom is incredibly insane and is living in some mental/goverment institution way down in Missouri. My real dad has left me when I was a child. I went through my life knowing nothing but abuse and sadness. You are not invalid, no matter how hard you think that. I'm living a few states away from home and it's the first time I've been on my own. You and me are both scared to death and I feel you bro I do. I've always had a dismal outlook on life but I know that you and me can make it somehow [editline]23rd July 2014[/editline] You can message me too if you want, I don't go on steam at all so here would be just fine

Incase you didn't know, FP has a thread for stuff like this [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1250748&goto=newpost[/url]

[QUOTE=HWECQI;45473060]You dont have messages enabled or whatever so I'll just post this here Hey there pal, I'm really sorry that you are going through so much. I don't know you very well, but I'd like to say that you probably aren't as bad a person as you think you are. It's very hard to feel that way though when you are surrounded by people like that. Your home life sounds mega rough too. I can't be there to hug you, but I can at least hug you through text as lame as that is. ****HUGGGGG****** You can get through this, friend. If you ever want someone to talk to, I'm good at listening. If not though, I understand, I just wanted to try cheering you up a bit. Hang in there, friend[/QUOTE] Thanks for all the lovely words and thoughts everyone. HWECQI: I'll add you on steam. fugde blood: I really hope we can do this, I feel for you too. Will send you a message later when I have eaten breakfast. isnipeu: I didn't know, sorry to the mods for posting in the wrong place.

Take your time buddy <333

[QUOTE=NeverGoWest;45473387]Thanks for all the lovely words and thoughts everyone. HWECQI: I'll add you on steam. fugde blood: I really hope we can do this, I feel for you too. Will send you a message later when I have eaten breakfast. isnipeu: I didn't know, sorry to the mods for posting in the wrong place.[/QUOTE] Sure bud! ill stay up a bit to accept your invite

Enjoy your [t]http://facepunch.com/fp/avatar_banned.png[/t] [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Gimmick/back-seat moderating and alt of permabanned user(s)" - NiandraLades))[/highlight]

What are you smoking? Some cannabis strains might make you more depressed if you are vulnerable. Don't smoke with those people, trust me, it is much better to smoke alone, let them go. They will just hurt you more. Maybe smoke less cannabis? I smoke cannabis too but your addiction is only in your head, it does not harm your body if you don't eat a desert after every meal, control yourself. And do some fitness while everything gets on track. When this is all over, you will be a happy and loving person, sports really help with inbody hormones which feel like drugs after every workout and you will have a reason to pass time and have a better body.

*hug* ily mate [editline]23rd July 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=mantits;45473642]Enjoy your [t]http://facepunch.com/fp/avatar_banned.png[/t][/QUOTE] Gimmick account? Fuck off.

I really hope you feel better soon. I would hug you if i could. [editline]23rd July 2014[/editline] You can add me in steam too. I am usually in a good mood and am a good listener.

[QUOTE=Zarfa;45473720]What are you smoking? Some cannabis strains might make you more depressed if you are vulnerable. Don't smoke with those people, trust me, it is much better to smoke alone, let them go. They will just hurt you more. Maybe smoke less cannabis? I smoke cannabis too but your addiction is only in your head, it does not harm your body if you don't eat a desert after every meal, control yourself. And do some fitness while everything gets on track. When this is all over, you will be a happy and loving person, sports really help with inbody hormones which feel like drugs after every workout and you will have a reason to pass time and have a better body.[/QUOTE] I think its just regular kashmir hash, it should not affect me like that. My dad called me earlier because I went crying on Facebook(again not to whore attention, just to vent out) and I admitted to him that I had started abusing drugs again. We talked about getting me out of that apartment so I don't have to deal with those assholes and so I can get relatively clean(he agreed that a monthly use was much better than daily use of cannabis) I sat down to play some Unturned on the FP server. It was great, I got attacked by a dude but I managed to one-shot him with my rifle :v: Then one of my other neighbors invited me for a beer, I hate beer so I only drank one can of it. But it was comfy and nice. We didn't talk much, she just sat there smoking cigarettes with me. Then I got tired and went back to my room and had a shower. Suddenly, my mood just took a U-turn, I don't even crave cannabis at all. This is very confusing for me because I have been craving that shit the last week where I couldn't get any. HWECQI: I am sorry, a bunch of stuff happened and I didn't come on Steam. Read above wall of text for reference. Hopefully we can talk when you get up again :) To everyone: Thanks for coming with support. I really like you guys here at Facepunch, always got something cool or funny to say, and in the hard times it just feels like we support each others. I am really happy that I posted this thread, the response really helped me and I look forward to chatting with you HWECQI.

I hope shit gets better for you man, I've had a pretty shitty childhood and teenage years with my terrible parents.

[QUOTE=Dub!;45473947] Gimmick account? Fuck off.[/QUOTE] top kek

Add me on steam dude. I'm usually ok to chat.

[QUOTE=Thechuz1337;45474167]Add me on steam dude. I'm usually ok to chat.[/QUOTE] Done.

OP, if it is really bad and it's become debilitating then you have to seek help. I'm not sure how it is in Denmark but it's fairly liberal from what I've heard, so if healthcare is subsidized then you've got to go for it. Remember, it's a therapist's job to help you, it's what they do for a living and what they're trained for. I would urge you to go, even once, just to check if you're in working order. It's good that you've spoken up though, even if it's just some place like Facepunch, too often I've seen someone with mental issues tear themselves apart from the inside because they've not spoken to anyone about it, and if you want to add me as well, then I'm open any time (and that goes for any other poor souls reading this)

Where in Denmark do you live? [editline]23rd July 2014[/editline] Also, you're welcome to add me on steam. I might not be the best at solving problems, but i don't mind listening

I know that feel of no friends, all of my friends are literally internet based since I never talk or do anything with the people that I know from highschool. One person I met during a L4D2 match turned out to live in my local area, so lately we've been doing stuff like going to army museums and having midsummer grilling. Which basically turns internet to the best place to meet new friends, for me at least v:v:v You can add me on Steam if you'd like to talk more, I'm more of a listener than a talker though.

I'll hug you man :')

[QUOTE=lekkimsm;45474240]Where in Denmark do you live? [editline]23rd July 2014[/editline] Also, you're welcome to add me on steam. I might not be the best at solving problems, but i don't mind listening[/QUOTE] Roskilde, and done.

have risk of rain? if not, PM me your steam the least I can do, since I don't know what it's like so I can't really "talk help".

[QUOTE=J!NX;45474687]have risk of rain? if not, PM me your steam the least I can do, since I don't know what it's like so I can't really "talk help".[/QUOTE] Added you on steam. For some reason none of you guys pop up on my friends list, I guess you either haven't accepted me yet.

[QUOTE=mantits;45473642]Enjoy your [t]http://facepunch.com/fp/avatar_banned.png[/t] [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Gimmick/back-seat moderating and alt of permabanned user(s)" - NiandraLades))[/highlight][/QUOTE] do you think this is funny NiandraLades [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("I do!" - Swebonny))[/highlight]

I relate, maybe only about 40-50%, but I can relate to that need to send out a cry for help as a result of drug use and feeling lonely in general. Shit picks up, yo. Hills to climb, and all that

What ever you do, don't think about killing yourself. I know, there is nothing to live for. But there are many things worth to die for. Don't waste your life at suicide. If you can, take a break. Take a break from your drugs. Take a break from your "frienemies". Take a break from bad people in general. Try to do something artistic. Getting bored is not good when you're depressed and doing something also distracts you from your bad feelings. Find someone to talk to. Someone you can tell your all stories. Someone who's listening to you and care about you. Also crying helps to heal psychical wounds. Just let everything out. You get a imaginary hug from me too. I wish i could come to give you a real hug.

[QUOTE=XP_Static;45474828]What ever you do, don't think about killing yourself. I know, there is nothing to live for. But there are many things to die for. If you can, take a break. Take a break from your drugs. Take a break from your "frienemies". Take a break from bad people in general. Try to do something artistic. Getting bored is not good when you're depressed and doing something also distracts you from your bad feelings. Find someone to talk to. Someone you can tell your all stories. Someone who's listening to you and care about you. Also crying helps to heal psychical wounds. Just let everything out. You get a imaginary hug from me too. I wish i could come to give you a real hug.[/QUOTE] Thanks man. All this response really helps me. I think it was partially why I suddenly got happy. Its weird. I am just happy, not depressed as normally. Just happy. I think I am going to try quit smoking tobacco today.

*hug* Wish I could hug you IRL, but meh, whatever. Will this do? :v:

[QUOTE=mantits;45474137]top kek[/QUOTE] toppest of bur