The Never Ending Dungeon V.5 - You slip on a banana peel and land face first on a landmine
677 replies, posted
[B]THE NEVER ENDING DUNGEON V5[/B]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/xeQJl.png[/img]
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[B]About the game:[/B]
The never ending dungeon is a forum game where you post silly or serious commands and try to fight an onslaught of enemies. The objective is to kill all enemies and to not die. The only way to "Win" is to have defeated the final enemy
in the thread version, in which case a new thread will be started. The final enemy only comes when its time to start a new thread soon.
Previous versions:
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/996407-The-never-ending-dungeon[/url] - Version 1
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1052004-The-Never-Ending-Dungeon-V2-Now-with-50-less-waiting-%28hopefully[/url] - Version 2
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1100733-The-Never-Ending-Dungeon-V3-Now-with-100-less-waiting[/url] - Version 3
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1119556-[/url] Version 4
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[B]Rules:[/B]
These are the rules, follow these or face consequences. [B]THE RULES IN THE OP ALWAYS APPLY, IF NEW RULES ARE ADDED THEY WILL APPEAR IN THE OP.[/B]
[B]General rules:[/B]
1. Be polite and respectful of other players. Don't be an asshat.
2. Point out anything that is missed in an update. If you don't let us know, then we can't fix it.
3. Page king must post battle music for that page.
4. Try to keep up to date with the thread.
5. Use common sense. Not everything is 100% literal.
6. POST ANY AND ALL BUFFS AND CUSTOM WEAPON STATS THAT WILL HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOUR ROLL/COMMAND. If you do not include these in your command, then they won't be counted. IE if you have a 2x damage buff and attack someone, but don't include that you have a 2x damage buff, then that buff will NOT be counted.
[B]Player specific:[/B]
1. Keep commands understandable and clear. If the Game-master can't understand what you are trying to do, or if your command cannot be done, then it will be rolled as a 0 with no effect.
2. You can only post [B]ONE COMMAND[/B]. The only exception is if you have a buff that allows two or more, or allies. IE This: "I kick Smas in the face then laugh at Magmacow358 for being unable to heal himself" Would not be valid. That is TWO actions at once.
3. You ARE NOT permitted to post an update unless you are a Game-master or a respected player, or unless it has been 48 hours since the last update and there has been no word on a new one coming.
[B]GM and respected player specific:[/B]
1. No random banning of players.
2. If a GM starts a shitstorm, it is grounds for demotion!
3. Keep the updates often and entertaining.
4. For every roll, post what happens. (Just posting a number doesn't do squat!)
5. All players join with 2,000HP to start off.
6. Keep Allies list alphabitized by FP user name. (i.e.- Titanium goes after Smas)
7. Teams with NPCs are called "(FP User Name) Team" and must also be alphabitized. (i.e.- Team "Titanium" comes after Smas.)
8. All commands must be rolled, and if the command is too complicated (to the extreme) to give a roll for, it may be skipped.
9. No cheating.
Of course, there must be consequences for breaking certain rules. Thus, here is the consequence scale!
Disciplinable Actions:
1) Causing a shitstorm.
2) Posting a thread update without GM consent if you are not a GM or Respected Player. (Unless a huge gap of time passes.)
3) Calling people out on stupid shit. (i.e.- "Look at this faggot! TROLOLOL!")
4) Shitposting.
If you do any of those actions, here's what happens:
Consequences (per Post(s)):
Level...
1: Verbal Warning.
2: Verbal Warning.
3: Next action is ignored in update.
4: Next 3 actions are ignored in updates.
5: Next 5 actions are ignored in updates.
6: Banned for 1 week.
7: Banned for 2 weeks.
8: Banned for 1 month.
9: Permabanned. (Ban can be appealed if argument is valid.)
10: Permabanned with an iron fist! (No appeals, no participation!)
Note: GMs determine consequence level.
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Current Game-masters:
Magmacow358
Titanium Knig7
Smas
Current Respected Players:
Firearms 136
John Egbert
Combiner8761
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[B]In-depth information:[/B]
[B]Commands[/B]
Commands are what players use to do shit. Attack, heal, commit suicide in hopes of becoming a god etc. As long as it isn't two commands combined into one, you can do anything and use anything.
Commands are classified into these 5 types:
1: Attacking - Attacking an enemy.
2: Healing - Healing yourself or someone else.
3: Boosting - Giving you or a team-mate a buff of some sort.
4: Weapons - Modifying and acquiring weapons with custom stats.
5: Other - Anything else.
Note that you do not have to say "I attack monster A" as any command that implies you are attacking something is an attack command. IE "I do a triple backflip off a skyscraper and jizz on monster A" Would count as an attack command.
As stated in the rules, you cannot post two commands in one. However this only implies if you are posting two commands that both of them would have an actual effect. For example, "I do a triple backflip off a skyscraper and jizz on monster A" is valid, as the triple backflip doesn't have any effect by assumption, its just additional information.
[B]Allies[/B]
Allies refer to other players that work for you, you can use them to post additional commands.
To get allies, you need to post a command summoning them. You can summon any ally you like, it doesn't matter. If the roll is successful, then you will have a new ally, allowing you to post an additional command.
The maximum amount of allies you can have is 5.
Allies also have health, and CAN die weather its from self-error or being attacked. If they die, you can revive them. (To revive other players and allies, just post a command where you revive them)
[B]Health[/B]
You start off with 2,000 hp by default. If you take damage, then you lose hp obviously. To heal yourself, just post a command where you heal yourself. (Or have an ally do it)
Your maximum health can be increased up to 5,000 by posting commands where you get a health buff or as an un-intended side effect of rolling a Crit.
If you lose all your health, you die. The only way to come back is if you roll a 10 or if someone else revives you.
[B]Weapons[/B]
While posting commands, you can use any sort of item regardless or not if you have it. For example, you could say that you pull out an RPG and shoot an enemy with it, even though you haven't already acquired the RPG. In other words, you can pull any item out of your ass at any time.
However, there are also weapons that you need to first acquire in a separate command. These weapons have statistics (Like TF2) that can alter how they work. These statistics are chosen by you, but they MUST BE BALANCED. If they are imbalanced, then they won't be accepted. An example of a stat weapon:
Ol' Painless:
> Old rusty hunting rifle, fires 44 rounds.
+ 1.5x damage
+ Stun's target on hit
- Cannot finish off enemies
- 1.5x backfire damage
Make sure to post your weapon stats in your command if you use that weapon.
[B]Rolls[/B]
Your roll determines weather or not your command was successful or you failed miserably.
Rolls are determined with a random number generator.
Possible rolls:
10- CRITICAL! This is the best possible roll. The result will be one where you are a glorified badass who saves galaxies and slaughters demons. This is the best possible outcome, your command is 100% successful, even sometimes with additional benefits.
9 - Success! Your command was very successful. It all went as planned with some minor positive side effects.
8- Success. Your command worked just as intended.
7- Success. Your command worked, but not as much as you had hoped.
6- Minor Success. Your command just barely worked, and the result was sloppy and not really what you had hoped.
5- Neutral. Nothing happens.
4- Minor Failure. Your command failed, but it didn't go too bad.
3- Failure. Your command failed and you got bruised up pretty badly.
2- Failure! Your command backfired terribly and you are left bloodied and beaten. Often comes with negative side effects.
1- CRITICAL FAILURE! Your command backfired in the worst way imaginable. Rolling a 1 often means death for the user unless they have a maxhp greater than 2,500. Generally does 2,000 damage to the player, but can have other terrible side effects. Like destroying the entire planet, or creating new enemies.
[B]Game-masters[/B]
A game master or GM is a user who posts updates, which tell how the player's command went. The game master also adds new enemies when they are needed in addition to creating enemy commands.
They choose what happens as a result of your roll and command. Sometimes they can be your friend, other times they see the perfect time to just fuck you over completely. (Though only if you get a bad roll)
[B]Players[/B]
Players are just regular users who post commands and enjoy the game. They can only post updates if its been 48 hours since the last and there is no word of one being worked on.
Players can also become enemies though their choice or through unfortunate events. Once defeated, they will be dead until revived back into the game as a regular player.
[B]Enemies[/B]
You fight these ugly motherhubbards. The gamemaster makes and rolls their commands. Who they attack is pretty random.
The Enemies can be anything, from cannon fodder to super-bosses accompanied by an entire army. Enemies may have special attributes. Their characters are chosen by the GM.
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Allies:
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Enemies:
Cook-cook: 6,000/6,000
Raider A: 2,000/2,000
Raider B: 2,000/2,000
Retard with a stick: 1,000/1,000 (Stick: Forces target to laugh at the petty attack. Stops them from moving next turn. Only does 50% damage.)
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Please let me know if i left something out or you have something to say.
Alright, glad that we are back up and running.
I guess it's time for the first command:
>Smas, rejoin the fight and wonder what the hell just happened.
[editline]1st February 2012[/editline]
Also, I think that after this wave of enemies, that we return and finish Firearm's wave list, so as to have that little thing tucked away.
The [I]White Spy (aka Dagger)[/I] makes a triumphant leap through yet another space-time rift into regions unknown! (We could make the argument that a portal materialized within the distant space station of Europa, which ended up dragging Dagger and comany inside the vortex.)
[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DaggerTNED1.jpg[/IMG]
[SUB]"MORE enemies to fight?? *Sigh* For some reason it all seems like deja vu... Again."[/SUB]
Once Dagger assesses the new environment that he is in, he attempts to draw out a wooden club... But, just as he is about to pummel an enemy, another individual comes crashing out of the same rift! ...And that particular individual happens to be no other than [I]Dawson the Riot Officer[/I]!
[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DawsontheRiotOfficer2.jpg[/IMG]
[SUB]*After coughing several times* "Welp, it's good to be back I guess... Hey wait a minute! Dagger! HEY! OVER HEEEEERE! [I]HEY!"[/I][/SUB]
[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DaggerTNED1.jpg[/IMG]
[SUB]"My goodness, if it isn't Dawson! By the whimsy of some deus ex machina watching over us we have been united once again! Please, get over here and lend me a hand!"[/SUB]
[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DawsontheRiotOfficer2.jpg[/IMG]
[SUB]"Sure thing, friend! Just give me a second to get up and I'll be there in no time flat!"[/SUB]
With Dawson the Riot Officer in somewhat good hands, he makes an attempt to join Dagger in the fight...
I put every single word in the OP's post and slap raider A with it.
My command: I fly a fighter jet to the battlefield and jump out before going back in time just before the thread was closed in order to get back my [B]Swagnum[/B] and my [B]Arm Blaster[/B] (For the sake of saving space i am not going to re-post their stats)
Ooh, I'm respected? Sweet! Also good OP, Magmacow. But can we have some info on the new setting, and what happened in between our adventures on Europa and our new battlefield wherever we are?
[b]John Egbert (Heir of Breath):[/b] Ow, that was a hard landing. John feels that they had left Europa too soon, I mean they had hardly gotten acquainted to the icy moon. Oh well, he thinks. "Wait...Where did everyone else get to?" John looks around and calls the names of his team. No one answers, so he decides to look for Jade, his ectobiological sister. Maybe she knows what happened, having space powers and stuff.
[b]Jade Harley (Witch of Space):[/b] "Johhhhnnnnn? Where are you?!" Jade calls. Nonexistent response. The best thing she can do is look around for John for now. Jade can imagine that John must be pretty confused right now, plus technically they're related so it's only morally right to search for him. Although, Dave is the one that is reproductively available, not to mention...Jade stops her thoughts. "Nonononono, I can't be thinking like that. I'm sure I'll find everyone, plus it's too early for that kind of commitment, right?" Jade uses her space magic to get an inkling of where John might be.
[b]Rose Lalonde (Seer of Light):[/b] Rose isn't surprised to know that their group had been separated on that crash landing, but there's no time to lose; she's got to find someone, and the first person she thinks of is Dave, her ectobiological brother. You two seem to make a good team: The brains (Lalonde) and the brawn (Strider).
[b]Dave Strider (Knight of Time):[/b] Fuck. Not another goddamn detour. Dave treks along the land searching for Rose. She's a seer after all, she probably knows what to do in this shitty situation.
i better Land somewhere, Hard
X6 - Land Somewhere soft
The fuck is with this dialogue in this thread.
Do I need to have dialogue?
[quote]
Burger: mmm so bored...
Right hand: Hey up there
Burger: What do you want
Right hand: how you doing ;)
Burger: I'm waiting to ambush Raider B, he aint doing shit right now so I'm bored.
Right hand: Mmmm. Sounds boring. Do you think we can have a bit more fun?
Burger: How? We can't do rock paper scissors because Left Hand isn't in the mood...
Right Hand: Im thinking of a different type of fun ;)
Burger: What do you mean?
Right hand: You know... Where I move up and down a lot on a certain body part..
Burger: RIGHT HAND YOU TWISTED PERSON! IT'S NO FAP FEBUARY!
Right hand: Oh come on babe... You know everyone lies about that... Come on just a quickie..
Burger: No!
Right hand: Please?
Burger: Ok FINE. Just a quickie.
Right hand: I love you babe
*unzip*
Burger: Be quick about it, I gotta be on full alE EEUHMMMMAhh
Right hand: Stop talking and let me work baby...
Burger: Be gentIIEEEAHH
Right hand: Oh baby you know I like it rough!
Burger: OH YES MORE YOU DIRTY WOMAN
Right hand: I can feel you inside me!
Raider B: WHAT IN THE JESUS DICK IS GOING ON HERE
[/quote]
Appear out of nowhere, in an attempt to scare the Retard.
Also, do I regain any items or attributes from previous threads, even though I haven't been active for a while?
I remember that I used to have super-intelligence, and a [b]Power Harvester Cannon™![/b] that basically allowed me to absorb powers.
I could rework the cannon to fit the new system though.
I grab a SPESS MARINE suit to wear.
I'll try brining my [B]necromancer[/B] through the portal which suddenly teleported us all to a earth which is not imploded to [B]aid me in battle[/B].
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;34507472]The fuck is with this dialogue in this thread.
Do I need to have dialogue?[/QUOTE]
No need for dialogue. Some of us just like to have it, while others (like me) find it unnecessary.
Hey, can you add me as a Gamemaster? I thought I was pretty good in the other thread.
Well, I made a different banner last night, but I accidentally deleted it in a move of stupidity, so here is the second, inferior verson in all its' JPEG glory.
-It is now in OP-
[QUOTE=Sherd Red;34435987]I rise from my grave with a bad ass vampire slaying whip because Zeus said so.[/QUOTE]
I will try to get an update done tomorrow
I start convincing myself that I am feeling lucky.
[QUOTE=Magmacow358;34518608]I will try to get an update done tomorrow[/QUOTE]
I can update if you want me too.
From far away, I send in a new Frankenstein-ish abomination. His name is Scald, and here's his description:
[release] A six foot tall abomination, made of patched together pieces of human body parts. It has a head having a face on either side, the mouths of which are lipless (More accurately, the lips are fused to the jaws) with inch long teeth seemingly built to sever flesh. The four lidless and independently movable eyes give it a near perfect range of vision. Attached at the elbow of either arm is a secondary forearm connected by and improvised ball and socket, allowing it to move relatively independently of the other forearm. Its total weight is nearly 300 lbs of pure muscle, allowing him to wield his "baby," a large caliber minigun firing .44 caliber ammunition, in one "arm," using both hands to stabilise it, while the second arm carried a massive ammunition barrel, holding a near endless stream of ammunition.[/release]
He enters the field by landing on raider a from airdrop, whilst firing his minigun point blank into the jaggoff's face.
Grotesque: Wait for airlift. (summon command)
[QUOTE=folcrum_flyer;34521644]From far away, I send in a new Frankenstein-ish abomination. His name is Scald, and here's his description:
[release] A six foot tall abomination, made of patched together pieces of human body parts. It has a head having a face on either side, the mouths of which are lipless (More accurately, the lips are fused to the jaws) with inch long teeth seemingly built to sever flesh. The four lidless eyes give it a near perfect range of vision. Attached at the elbow of either arm is a secondary forearm connected by and improvised ball and socket, allowing it to move relatively independently of the other forearm. Its total weight is nearly 300 lbs of pure muscle, allowing him to wield his "baby," a large caliber minigun firing .44 caliber ammunition, in one "arm," using both hands to stabilise it, while the second arm carried a massive ammunition barrel, holding a near endless stream of ammunition.[/release]
He enters the field by landing on raider a from airdrop, whilst firing his minigun point blank into the jaggoff's face.
Grotesque: Wait for airlift. (summon command)[/QUOTE]
I see that you have found the new thread. Welcome back!
[QUOTE=Burgervich;34521190]I can update if you want me too.[/QUOTE]
Sure, why not.
[QUOTE=Smas;34521703]I see that you have found the new thread. Welcome back![/QUOTE]
Indeed, and thank you, my good man! So, hey, why did the v4 thread shut down, anyways? Vain's Revenge? Actually, it really is too bad he went apeshit like that. He didn't have to many bad ideas, it's just that he wanted to "Normalize" the thread... Meh, too bad. Still makes a great inside joke.
So, whatever happened to the update?
[QUOTE=CSG172;34536829]So, whatever happened to the update?[/QUOTE]
No idea, burgervich said he would do it and i gave him permission.
[QUOTE=Magmacow358;34537280]No idea, burgervich said he would do it and i gave him permission.[/QUOTE]
I'm loaded to the teeth with anatomy work and other reads, but if you're aching bad enough for an update then maybe I could be at service...
...The only hold-up would be that I will not be able to write up something quick until around 4:30 p.m. tomorrow (Western Pacific Time; I have Saturday school from 9:00 a.m. to 3:55 p.m.). It's just how it rolls, unfortunately.
[QUOTE=Smas;34510373]No need for dialogue. Some of us just like to have it, while others (like me) find it unnecessary.[/QUOTE]
Yah. I only add dialogue (and the icons) to my commands because - the way I feel - it gives the characters a more three-dimensional appearance and interesting quality. Their personalities are not to be depicted as bland, cardboard cutouts but as any entity possessing some form of humanity.
[B]Commands[/B]
Smas: Smas, rejoin the fight and wonder what the hell just happened.
Roll: Welcome to the game.
Firearms 136: With Dawson the Riot Officer in somewhat good hands, he makes an attempt to join Dagger in the fight...
Roll: 4. Your double attack simply missed.
Magmacow358: I fly a fighter jet to the battlefield and jump out before going back in time just before the thread was closed in order to get back my Swagnum and my Arm Blaster
Roll: 7. You manage to go back in time, but you are only able to recover your Arm Blaster.
John Egbert: Allthatshitbyyou
Roll: I am afraid that I do not know if that is a command or not? Does it affect this game at all? Or is it just roleplay?
Cookie53: X6 - Land Somewhere soft
Roll: 3. You miscaculate and hit a rough spot of a road. You lose 200 HP!
Combiner8761: Appear out of nowhere, in an attempt to scare the Retard.
Roll: 7. You manage to scare him. He cannot do anything to you for 3 turns!
MrDestroyer: I grab a SPESS MARINE suit to wear.
Roll: 10! You grab the greatest of all the suits. You cannot take any HP damage until the suit is destroyed. The suit has 2000 health points.
DrasarSalman: I'll try brining my necromancer through the portal which suddenly teleported us all to a earth which is not imploded to aid me in battle.
Roll: 2. Damn it! Your necromancer comes back pissed off at you, hits you taking 50 HP and runs to the enemy's side.
Shred Red: I rise from my grave with a bad ass vampire slaying whip because Zeus said so.
Roll: 3. Your whip turns into dust once it is outside the grave. It is around 100000 years old or so, so what did you expect?
Bl1tzX: I start convincing myself that I am feeling lucky.
Roll: 8. You become lucky! If you get a bad roll, you cannot be hurt or get any Debuffs by it. (You can still miss your attacks)
Folcrum_Flyer: Grotesque: Wait for airlift. (summon command)
Roll: 9. Great! He comes down from the airlift with a Minigun of Zeus!
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[B]Players[/B]
Unnamed Group:
Smas: 1,000/1,000
Unnamed Group:
The White Spy: 1,000/1,000
Dawson: 1,000/1,000
Unnamed Group:
Magmacow358: 1,000/1,000 [B](Arm Blaster)[/B]
Unnamed Group:
John Egbert: 1,000/1,000
Jade Harley: 1,000/1,000
Rose Lalonde: 1,000/1,000
Unnamed Group:
Cookie53: 1,000/1,000
Unnamed Group:
Combiner8761: 1,000/1,000
Unnamed Group:
MrDestroyer: 1,000/1,000 [B](SPESS MARINE Suit 2000/2000)[/B]
Unnamed Group:
DrasarSalman: 950/1,000
Unnamed Group:
Bl1tzX: 1,000/1,000 [B](Lucky, bad rolls cannot hurt or give debuffs)[/B]
Unnamed Group:
folcrum_flyer: 1,000/1,000
Scald: 2,800/3,000 [B](Minigun of Zeus)[/B]
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[B]Enemy Commands:[/B]
Raider A: Slash Sclad with sword.
Roll: 9. Does 200 damage.
Necromancer: Summon skeletons!
Roll: 9. Summons two skeletons on the enemy's side.
Raider B: Shoot Bl1tzX with an arrow.
Roll: 5. It misses.
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[B]Allies:[/B]
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[B]Enemies: [/B]
Cook-cook: 6,000/6,000
Raider A: 2,000/2,000
Raider B: 2,000/2,000
Retard with a stick: 1,000/1,000 (Stick: Forces target to laugh at the petty attack. Stops them from moving next turn. Only does 50% damage.) [B](Cannot hurt Combiner for 3 Turns)[/B]
Necromancer: 1,000/1,000
Skeleton A: 500/500
Skeleton B: 500/500
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I better find equipment that i somehow made.
[b]Edit[/b]
which is a glove.
[QUOTE=Cookie53;34538725]I better find equipment that i somehow made.[/QUOTE]
I can't use that as a command if you don't tell me what is the equipment.
[B]Dagger (aka White Spy):[/B]
Dawson the Riot Officer tries to join Dagger once more with his trusty riot shield...
[Release] [B][highlight]Riot Shield[/highlight][/B]
[B]Description:[/B]
A lightweight protection device composed of durable polycarbonate. When used by the right hands, this trinket can be turned into a powerful weapon.
[B]Effects:[/B]
[B](1)[/B] For as long as this weapon is equipped, the user's defense against [I]physical damage[/I] (i.e. melee, bullet, explosive) is increased to [B]110%[/B].
___ [B](a)[/B] Elemental and magical damage is not buffered.
[B](2)[/B] With this weapon (along with many other shields), the user can distract a single target.
___ [B](a)[/B] Distraction lasts for only a single round.
___ [B](b)[/B] The dice-roll outcome of the [I]first attack[/I] that strikes a phased target will be increased by [B]+1[/B].
______ [B](i)[/B] Every other attack that follows up will not gain a dice-roll bonus.
___ [B](c)[/B] Can only be used on a particular target once - whether or not the maneuver succeeds.[/Release]
[QUOTE=Burgervich;34538204] Update [/QUOTE]
Hey, uh, burgervich, I appreciate the update, but it would be nice to put more effort and detail into it.
Most of the results where pretty bland and simple, and im sure you can do much better than that.
Also, we don't name our teams anymore it's just "(player name here)'s team" now. Its like that to prevent hassle in remembering the names.
Edit: Heres an example of a quality update, courtesy of Smas:
COMMANDS:
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Team Folc:
folc: Still in reverse-triage (Turns out a triage in is reverse order: Strongest first, weakest last.)
Roll: 0. You continue the move that is already in progress. From what Smas remembers, and with some clues to some of the effect stuff still left over, it appears to him that this turn is supposed to be the turn when you heal those below the 1000 HP mark. With that in mind, you continue your reverse-triage, in the hopes to catch those who have fallen prey to illness. However, due to the nature of your post being first, I shall have the full heal take effect at the end of the turn, to catch those who might fall prey to this round’s turn of events. (Heals all under 1000 at end of turn)
grotesque: Using the inherent knowledge of the dozen or so brains in your skull, perform life saving/returning surgery on Falcon, restoring most health, and giving a small (x1.25) damage boost, and a defence boost of the same amount, because of all the replaced parts being from Grotesque's own physically and genetically superior body.
Roll: 10 (CRITICAL THREAT!). Using your vast array of spare parts, you again attempt to perform lifesaving surgery on the dead-again Falcon. With no time to spare, you clear the kitchen and sanitize the counter, transforming it into your operating table. Folc, with nothing better to do at the moment, acts as the nurse for the operation, giving you scalpels and second opinions left and right, with the intent on saving Falcon’s life.
30 seconds later, Falcon is miraculously patched up and given a lollipop for good behavior, along with those neato bonuses as a get well soon present. (Falcon: Revived/Bonuses!)
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Team Magmacow:
Magmacow:
I decide to test out my new fire staff by firing a fiery arcane beam at the enderdragon. (1 arcane element, 4 fire.)
Roll: 3 (Failure). “Heh, time to test this thing out!” you state with underlying excitement. You make your way to the front of your party, and shout at the Enderdragon in a boastful manner, “You shall die today, you vile blocky beast!” Obviously, this does not float the Dragon’s boat, not one bit. So instead of letting you get a good shot at him with your new toy, he blows a strong thrust of wind in your direction. You are flung to the ground, causing you to receive massive butt injuries. (-500 HP: Magmacow)
Energy being: Rip Robin Walker Zombie in half and take his hats.
Roll: 2 (Failure!). Despite Robin Walker’s nature at only being a developer, he seems to be getting around to wiping Smas’ team. You arc your way over towards Team Smas, successfully avoiding any electrical shorts that may sap your health. Suddenly, the wild, crazed, headless body of Smas makes a quick spin on his feet, slicing you before you can even get a good look at the damned Hat Developer. (-1000 HP: Energy Being)
Magmacow?: Try to find some First aid kits for Mr.anderson's team.
Roll: 9 (Success!). From the nature of this ongoing battle, it is easy to see that some of these teams may need a bit of help in keeping their health in reasonable shape.
With a quick inventory search, you are able to find Health Kits for each member of Mr. Anderson’s team.
Health Kit:
May be used for one of the following if roll higher than 5:
*Heal 1000 HP to any singular player, including yourself.
*Fixing one status ailment (Bleeding, Intoxication, Burning, etc).
*Reviving one player to 500 HP
Flaming bone dragon: Headbutt the Enderguard.
Roll: 2 (Failure!): Somehow, in the midst of a massive team failure, you lose track as to where the Enderguard is. Suddenly, you feel a solid whack on your backside. Ouch! You turn around, and see that he has disappeared again. Augh! There he is, behind the bushes!
You spend about half an hour playing this game of Hide and Seek, and you get the slight fractures to show for it. (-1000: Flaming Bone Dragon)
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Team BlitzX:
Blitz (I shall now refer to you by this name, for the sake of sanity): Using the cliched magic of all things holy, I reincarnate xxFalconxx. The side effects being that he has risen as a Buddhist.
Roll: 10 (CRITICAL THREAT?). Seeing as Falcon has already been resurrected, you decide to just magically make him into a Buddhist anyways. And with a swing of your staff and some fancy magical words and utterings, Falcon suddenly has a profound interest in meditation and martial arts! (Falcon: Buddhist!)
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Team Smas:
Smas: Use your BOTTLED FAIRY, to GIVE YOU 500 HP (as is the item's description, whichever page that was).
Roll: 4-1=3 (Failure!). “I would give you my hat to cover your shame, but I see that you are clearly… headless!” laughs Robin Walker, seeing as Smas bumps into and falls over different house plants left up as decoration. (-700: Smas)
Warasuarus: Defeat Robin Walker using whatever means necessary.
Roll: 5 (Neutral). You just can’t fight without the aid of Smas, who seems to be incapacitated!
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Team Falcon:
Falcon: Oh well. If I do make it back onto the battlefield, I attempt to know "The Blazing palm Descending From Heaven" Martial artistry technique. It's Buddhist-compatible and can hurt your enemy like crazy, usually by blowing palm-shaped holes in them.
Roll: 5 (Neutral). Seeing as how you did come back to life, and you ARE suddenly interested in being Buddhist, you attempt to learn the ways of “The Blazing Palm Descending From Heaven”. However, the nature of your injuries and recovery has left you feeling a bit sore, so you decide to take a short timeout.
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Team Firearms:
Cortez: "Augh! What did I just do?" Clutching his crotch in pain, Cortez gains the strength to get up on his feet and move about. In an attempt to redeem himself he takes the time to locate medical supplies that may go towards boosting a squad member's max HP by 500. No more new-age remedial therapy for Cortez! This time he's going to make sure what he uncovers is safe - regardless of how long it may take him. Safety comes first!
Roll: 9 (Success!). In an attempt to right the wrongs of his doing, Cortez makes his way out through the station, eventually coming across the medical bay. After some quick searching, Cortez thinks he finds something of interest for someone on his team:
Nanobyte Injections!
* Provides a permanent boost of 500 HP to any player.
In the background, you see a kiosk describing how they work…
“Something to do with robot spiders in your blood stream repairing damage… interesting.”
(Nanobyte Injection: added!)
Homer: "Ow. Urge to kill, rising..." In an attempt to control his horrifying rage, Homer resorts to containing it ALLLLL inside. However, he can't hold onto it forever; there comes a time where all of his frusterations must be released upon some unfortunate soul!
Roll: 3 (Failure). In an attempt to control his anger, Homer accidently takes it out on the I-beam to his left, oblivious to the fact that it is made of metal. One smashed fist and a bent I-beam later, Homer learns a new definition of anger management. (-700: Homer)
Dawson the Riot Officer: "Nice going, Cortez. Now we're gonna have to pick out those glowing rocks - painstakingly, if you will - piece by piece! Oh my freakin' God does it hurt to move!!" Now that Dawson's joints are all achey, he has no choice but to hold off from fighting for a little bit. Biding his time wisely, Dawson makes another attempt to seek for supplies that may go towards boosting his crew's max HP by a small amount. In a nutshell, he's pretty much doing what Cortez already had in mind (including any necessary precautions, too).
Roll: 8 (Success!). You follow in Cortez’s footsteps, leading you both to the Medical Bay. You also take a tube of Nanobyte Injection fluid, ready to also improve one’s health. (Nanobyte Injection: added!)
Dagger: "...And I thought I was the crazy one! Cortez, we better get over this affliction soon!" Staggering in pain, Dagger takes a glimpse at the swords Dawson recently uncovered and comes up with a peculiar idea of sorts. Nabbing the boring-as-rice weapons, the spy plans to convert the swords into a special grip that can be applied over Dawson the Riot Officer's shield's handle bar. A successful installation will guarantee a 30% damage boost to all shield attacks. However, Dagger will take all the time in the world to carry out this procedure - he certainly doesn't want to aggrivate Dawson more than he already is!
Roll: 1 (CRITICAL MISS). You look over the many blades, trying to figure out which handle will be most useful for this do-it-yourself project.
The Enderguard sees an opportunity, taking a short break from beating up the Bone Dragon.
Suddenly, Dagger feels a slight tapping on his shoulder. Thinking that Dawson/Cortez/Homer has returned, he turns around to greet… a sword through the chest. You stagger back, reeling in the pain that the ruined vest couldn’t absorb. With that, you fall to the ground, bleeding. (Vest: Destroyed!)(Dagger: -1500)
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Team Anderson:
Me, Dreadnought, Terminator A,B,C and the apothecary: Chill for the round watching the battle play out.
Roll: 0. You, among your companions, realize that everyone else is getting their asses handed to them. It’s like they are all in the middle of an ass famine, crying out for free asses to tide them over, with the rich upper class, in this case the Minecraft Mobs and Robin Walker, providing the donations.
You decide that you should probably step it up, so that these horrid enemies can get out of the way for something new and fun to fight.
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FOLC: and with the turn being over, you are glad that you decided to wait for a bit longer. Just about everyone took some form of damage, so quite a few of them need to be healed. You make them all line up in a semi organized line, ready to receive their blessings of hope, faith, and healing. (Everyone below 1000: Restored!)
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Enemy Commands:
Robin Walker: Smash Smas with the Scout’s Bat.
Roll: 9. Seeing as Smas has managed to get his head back on through the works of God, you decide to kick his ass some more. You pull him out of the crowd, and go to town on his newly attached face, only stopping with Smas pleading that he’ll buy the most expensive hat in the Mann Co. store. (-1000 HP: Smas)
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