Bizarre, but memorable stuff you've said while "messed up"
52 replies, posted
No specific substance specifies, hell, it can even be something you had said while overtired. But just memorable stuff that you have said while in not-so-skillful state of mind that is funny/strange/memorable.
"(While playing battlegrounds and having a paladin cast shield throw at me) WTF??? I didn't know paladins could throw destructo-disks!"
"Yo John! I'm gonna stick you in peanut butter and light you on fire!"
"Kitty... Man, Imma' turn your fur into a hat and become king of the cats!"
"Man, I think a gnome lives on top of that mountain, and I think he rolls joints and sells them to fairies. I wonder how happy someone would be if they smoked with a gnome!"
"Man, I'm gonna fuck (will not say her name)'s butt 'til she hits the roof, then Imma' cum all over her face then I'm gonna be like [makes loud screeching noises], then I'm gonna stick my dick and her eye and tell her 'Oh, yeah!' then I'm gonna make her hotdogs."
"John, you look like a squirrel when you smile. Ya'll got like these chipmunk teeth and it look funny."
"I want a metal dick so I can fuck robot women."
"I think if pillows were food they'd be marshmallows."
The last 2 made me laugh.
"Dude, we should like, drive through a drive-through at Jack in the Box, but not order anything and just look at the dude in the window as we drive by"
Yep, I was as high as a fucking kite
"Fuck the bed. I'll sleep in the air."
Didn't turn out so well.
Said
"I'll fuck it"
when my parents said to take out the dog. Didn't end so well.
"Racists are people who can run really fast!"
Only thing I can remember is me and my brother discussing quantum physics while being drunk. :v:
This one time I was drunk, while walking to the train station (or rather, leaning on the shoulder of a less drunk friend) I was shouting at the "Fucking bastard seagulls, shitting everywhere and making a racket!"
We stopped off at McDonald's so I could get some chicken nuggets, I apparently asked the guy at the counter "Excuse me, my good sir, but would you be so kind as to point me in the direction of the nearest toilet facilities?". I have quite a British accent, and I live in Finland, adding to the oddness of that particular worker's late shift.
Then I was apparently talking some pretty depressing stuff, apologising for being a drunken burden etc.
[QUOTE=Sgt Doom;23224715]
Then I was apparently talking some pretty depressing stuff, apologising for being a drunken burden etc.[/QUOTE]
That is the worst characteristic of drunk friends. The insistently apologetic and easily offended drunk
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;23224769]That is the worst characteristic of drunk friends. The insistently apologetic and easily offended drunk[/QUOTE]
I just get goofy, friendly and horny as fuck when I'm drunk.
"I never noticed how blue this room is"
"ha, room is an interesting word"
"Room"
"can you hear it? That ginuine song is playing... In those jeeeans"
Going to the macdonalds with a drunk friend (the guy behind the counter was nice enough to play along and not go all serious):
'Hey fuckface, gimme some food'
'Sir, could you phrase that differently please?'
(over the top) 'Excuse me, dear sir fuckface, would you be so kind as to hand me some consumables after which I will pay you with currency, old chap?'
I held a full conversation with my cat.
I hadn't slept in two days and I was almost asleep, not quite awake, and definitely not in a stable state of mind.
My cat would like to run a communist dictatorship.
At least according to my subconscious.
Come here little boys touch my boobies.
[QUOTE=dutchah;23226916]Going to the macdonalds with a drunk friend (the guy behind the counter was nice enough to play along and not go all serious):
'Hey fuckface, gimme some food'
'Sir, could you phrase that differently please?'
(over the top) 'Excuse me, dear sir fuckface, would you be so kind as to hand me some consumables after which I will pay you with currency, old chap?'[/QUOTE]
That's hilarious. :v:
snip
'Don't keep your brain in a cage. Let it wander into the garden and create its own adventures and experiences.'
'Don't waste your trip! You're overseas! Go sightseeing! Explore!'
'What if Gloombas really do exist. What if our minds just don't let us see them.'
Potatoe
Everybody in the room was tired so we laughed for 5 mins
one night, apparently i sent my girlfriend a text saying "I've never seen so much glass before. This glass is so glassy. why does this hurt im drunk"
and i have absolutely no recollection of it.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;23224769]That is the worst characteristic of drunk friends. The insistently apologetic and easily offended drunk[/QUOTE]Nah, I wasn't easily offended while drunk, only started being apologetic when they had to literally carry my arse to the train station. Though, I can see how such would be annoying.
My first post in that open-source aerospace thread. I had a cold. My brain always goes to shit when I have one.
A couple of weeks ago I visited my old step-dad, he was really tan, and I said without thinking "Oh my god you look like a <n-word>!" Seconds later I realized that my sisters boyfriend was standing behind me and he's black. Lucky for me he's really nice and started laughing at me.
It was unintentional racism, don't ban me for this :ohdear:
[QUOTE=DragonFire91;23232858]A couple of weeks ago I visited my old step-dad, he was really tan, and I said without thinking "Oh my god you look like a <n-word>!" Seconds later I realized that my sisters boyfriend was standing behind me and he's black. Lucky for me he's really nice and started laughing at me.
It was unintentional racism, don't ban me for this :ohdear:[/QUOTE]
Who's stupid enough to say that kind of stuff without thinking. That would mean subconsciously that's your most natural choice of words? Work on that please.
[QUOTE=Aw_Hell;23233079]Who's stupid enough to say that kind of stuff without thinking. That would mean subconsciously that's your most natural choice of words? Work on that please.[/QUOTE]
Since then I haven't said anything like that, I think it helped me actually.
Oh shit, here's one. I can't believe I didn't post this one.
"Dude, we could totally solve world hunger if mud was made out of chocolate."
"Guys, guys, guys... we should totally go to mcdonalds with like 4 other people and walk through the drive through, and pretend we're in a car."
I've said something along those lines more than one time.
friend: nuke the whales
me: you're a whale!?
I was trying to say "I'll do anything to get my pants dry", they were wet from boating, but I accidentally said, "I'll do anything to get my pants wet!
A friend of mine sleep talks all the time and some pretty hilarious stuff comes from his mouth. Mostly random strings of words, but one night, when all my friends were together, he fell asleep early, then suddenly spouted "I-I am the winzor..." or something to that effect.
We had a good laugh.
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