I'm not sure where to post this and I don't know where else to go because it's kind of a problem I feel like only I have. I've been driving for a few years and I can drive locally just fine where there are a car or two every mile and the speed limits go up to 30-45 just fine, no problem at all, even enjoy it. It's all 'back road' driving essentially and the roads are one-lane with stop signs. That sort of thing doesn't bother me.
But how do people drive in traffic? I can't do it. I like, panic and get nervous and make mistakes and I always seem to get into a near collusion because of just how overwhelming everything is. There is this road in town where they have a McDonalds and a Burger King and a bunch of other stores. It's like three fucking lanes and it occasionally turns into four fucking lanes for right or left turns. And it's BUSY at all hours of the day. So the traffic is fucking bumper to fucking bumper and everyone is still driving at 45 miles an hour on this road and switching lanes like it was the easiest thing in the world but I can't do it. I just don't understand how anyone can do it, and just keep calm, carry on conversation. How do people track 14 cars in their vision, watch the car immediately infront of them while worrying about the lane you have to be in and where you're going to get to your destination? Especially at night when every damn light blinds you, you can't see the lines on the road properly and even when you can cars often block any indication of "RIGHT ONLY LANE" and so on.
Highway is a little easier but only if I stay in the right lane the entire time and that doesn't always fly on busy On-Ramps and Off-Ramps in which case there is a LOT of traffic that I have to watch whilst I switch lanes so I just usually slow down and let everyone get ahead of me or something.
I find other drivers constantly pushing me to do things I'd never do because I would normally consider them dangerous. Like if I'm waiting to take a right at a stop and there are some cars coming I wouldn't race them to get into traffic but the minute I have a line of cars behind me I'm in a fucking rush because I don't want to inconvience them or something because I'm doing something wrong.
I don't understand how anyone can cope with the day to day possibility that while they're driving on insanely complicated road networks with four lanes and hundreds of cars that they'll fuck up and get into an accident which would literally send me into a violent panic attack if it happened to me. To get into an accident, have my car damaged, possibly hurt myself or someone else (EVEN KILL) and than have the other motorist SCREAMING at me because of it and not knowing at all what to do and just sitting in busy traffic as the car and I sit crippled until the Police come or something and than you have to explain to them how you FUCKED up because you didn't know what damn lane to switch into when there are hundreds of cars just choking and suffocating you at close to 50 miles an hour.
I've had to call out of work for the third time tonight because the road I normally take was closed because it flooded over and I don't know a way around that doesn't require me to get onto a fucking complicated Highway exit and on-ramp system or a four-lane fun house during rush hour.
Someone give me tips to cope with driving in traffic or on unfamiliar roads please. Any insight could help.
Personally, I find it useful to think ahead a bit. Say I need to turn left in a mile, I'll try to shift one lane every block or two. If you use your turn signal well in advance, people will likely give you a break pretty soon, even in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Just wait for a slightly slower car, or a slightly larger gap, and turn on your signal. You'll probably get in.
Relax a bit. Watching "fourteen cars" is a bit too much. I usually keep track of five at most. The car right in front of me and right behind me, maybe the two besides me if they/I might need to change lanes. Also, right turns at a stop you shouldn't be rushing for. Just wait for a gap and take it - the green will come soon enough.
It's a lot easier to navigate a busy highway if you know where you have to get off. For instance, if I get on a highway around exit 63 and get off around 82, I just avoid Exit Only lanes and just go with the flow until around 78.
I, too, have trouble driving on unfamiliar roads. Even if it's almost empty on a highway after 11 at night, I'll still get tense. It helps me to play some quiet, laid-back music and just tell myself that it's okay, I've got it under control. Once I get closer to my destination, I calm down a lot.
As far as upsetting others, just be a little slower and extra courteous. Give people a wave if they let you in or if you almost cut them off - let them know that you know what you did and are sorry, not an obnoxious asshole.
I realize some of this "chill out, man" stuff may sound a little trite, but trust me it's really helpful. I stress out in traffic too, but I can work my way through it by practicing and changing behavior. I hope something I said here can help!
Not sure what to say since you've been driving a long time already. I guess it's the same as learning initially, you'll be nervous as fuck, but once you've done it enough you'll be conditioned and capable with it. Try not to be so jittery, try not to worry about 14 cars at the same time, just pace yourself with the car in front and the general flow, and routinely glance in your mirrors. For changing lanes, check your wing mirror and then rear-view, indicate and pull over smoothly - if it's tight, you can indicate and sort of assume a holding position to move into the next lane, and whoever's there will more than likely ease off to let you in. Don't be overly worried about pissing anyone off, because there are a lot of drivers that do dodgy shit in city traffic. If you know your route to work, I'm sure you'd be fine after doing it some more. It's when you have to try navigating complicated roads to find a certain place you haven't been that's really bad.
It's definitely traffic I have a problem with. Because I think about that four-lane road I hate and if I take it at 3:45AM when I have to go to work I'd probably be able to do that. Three or four cars around me with plenty of room to take my time, slow down if I have to and plenty of space to change lanes.
But when I look at it at 7:45AM when I get out of work it's fucking shit-inducing because of how seemingly impossible it is for me to do. The fact that I may not be able to switch lanes and will get lost or I may become distracted and run a red light or go too slow or too fast or hit someone or not see something. The traffic is just so thick and there are so many lanes for no reason and I don't know exactly where things are as they're coming. I was coming from the Diner one night at 2AM or so and there was no one on the road thank god. But I was coming up on a red light and I was so preoccupied trying to figure out if I stayed in the left or right lane to keep going straight I completely ran it.
I like to take [i]my[/i] route to work. It's a bit longer and out of the way I think but it only involves me taking a right and getting in the left lane and just going that way all the way home.
It doesn't help all my friends are complete misunderstanding assfucks about it. Like there is a Gas Station I always go too called Quickchek because of how easy it is to get in and out of. But I like soda so I'll buy a twelve pack there to bring home for a week and it's $5 so the entire time all my friends will fucking belittle me because I won't drive literally down the road to get it cheaper at Shop-Rite. Same thing happened next door at Wendy's and they wanted to go just down the road by a few hundred feet to a Wholesaler to walk around and instead of driving I left my car at Wendy's and we walked across three parking lots to get there instead and they fucking wanted to say something about that too. Or when I'm at a stop sign and there is a car coming a decent way down the road all I fucking hear is "You could have made that" and these things don't help at all.
I think I should see a Doctor but I think it'll be a waste of money and they'll just put me on medication which I won't do.
[QUOTE=CodeMonkey3;32248979]I think I should see a Doctor but I think it'll be a waste of money and they'll just put me on medication which I won't do.[/QUOTE]
Counselors/psychiatrists don't always put you on meds. Most times it's just a matter of talking it out.
[QUOTE=CodeMonkey3;32248979]It's definitely traffic I have a problem with. Because I think about that four-lane road I hate and if I take it at 3:45AM when I have to go to work I'd probably be able to do that. Three or four cars around me with plenty of room to take my time, slow down if I have to and plenty of space to change lanes.
But when I look at it at 7:45AM when I get out of work it's fucking shit-inducing because of how seemingly impossible it is for me to do. The fact that I may not be able to switch lanes and will get lost or I may become distracted and run a red light or go too slow or too fast or hit someone or not see something. The traffic is just so thick and there are so many lanes for no reason and I don't know exactly where things are as they're coming. I was coming from the Diner one night at 2AM or so and there was no one on the road thank god. But I was coming up on a red light and I was so preoccupied trying to figure out if I stayed in the left or right lane to keep going straight I completely ran it.
I like to take [i]my[/i] route to work. It's a bit longer and out of the way I think but it only involves me taking a right and getting in the left lane and just going that way all the way home.
It doesn't help all my friends are complete misunderstanding assfucks about it. Like there is a Gas Station I always go too called Quickchek because of how easy it is to get in and out of. But I like soda so I'll buy a twelve pack there to bring home for a week and it's $5 so the entire time all my friends will fucking belittle me because I won't drive literally down the road to get it cheaper at Shop-Rite. Same thing happened next door at Wendy's and they wanted to go just down the road by a few hundred feet to a Wholesaler to walk around and instead of driving I left my car at Wendy's and we walked across three parking lots to get there instead and they fucking wanted to say something about that too. Or when I'm at a stop sign and there is a car coming a decent way down the road all I fucking hear is "You could have made that" and these things don't help at all.
I think I should see a Doctor but I think it'll be a waste of money and they'll just put me on medication which I won't do.[/QUOTE]
take a driving course.
clearly you're not confident enough in your skills to not get nervous. you just need to make sure you're confident in them then go to lots of different environments to get more practice.
I know where you're coming from. I'm 18 and I still only have my permit, driving makes me nervous. I carpool with a friend to get to college.
I'm in the same situation, I don't like busy roads, but I can handle backroads and 1 way streets/divided highways just fine. It's a scary thing when you know that you are always in danger when on the road.
Just know that there are other people in the same boat as you. Take little baby steps to get to a desired comfort level, and keep practicing.
And about you friends, either ignore them, or tell them to deal with it, or not to hitch a ride with you at all. You're the driver, your feelings come first.
Also, gotta go fast.
Driving is going to be hell for me. I'm paranoid about making the slightest mistakes or breaking things in my day-to-day life, so attempting to navigate a busy road will really be a nightmare. I can understand what you're feeling.
Ive been driving for a while and i live in a big city so its always crowded around me.
First thing that comes to mind when i see your ost is that you dont think ahead well enough and that you try to keep track of all the cars around you.
1:You got to know how you are going to handle the situation before you get there.
2:Everybody only needs to look after a few cars (Where you are going and where you want to go)
If you are switching lanes it is only interesting to know whether the car in front of you isnt in the way, if there is space where you want to go and if there isnt somebody alreaddy going there from a third lane or behind you.
3:Be an asshole now and then, if the stream of cars wont let you in just make eye contact and put your car half in front of the stream of cars so they have to stop.
4:And if you find yourself thinking about whether you can skip in front of some moving traffic or not the answer is no. Once you think about it its to late.
tl;dr
I used to be a little freaked by it but as long as you stay between the lines and take it by the book, you'll be fine.
Because if you do all that and still end up in an accident then it must not have been your fault.
This is how you should drive.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yGDNKRGVC0[/media]
I don't often drive on backroads anymore but driving in traffic isn't much different.
When i was learning how to drive it was the same way.
But now, with a little more experience, you learn that there's only a few things you need to pay attention to in traffic.
Knowing what these things are and ignoring the useless shit is how you make sense of it.
Hope that helps!
OP, you are not alone, that sounds like hellish driving
45mph bumper to bumper? That sounds dangerous in general, what if someone has to slow down further up ahead?
[editline]13th September 2011[/editline]
that's 5 mph away from the minimum speed you should be going on a dual carriageway in this country, and you're supposed to leave a two-second gap between you and the car ahead there
I've been driving for about 3-4 years now.
I knew a few people who were like you. They were all newbies to driving. It's the beginner's perspective of what life on the road is really like.
I can drive in traffic with ease now, I automatically slow down where needed and I don't feel the need to "freak out" in tough situations. It's almost as if my subconscious side does all the work.
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