sorry for this being the second death thread i've posted this year, but just recently (few hours ago at the time of posting) my grandfather, who serves as my legal guardian, had passed away. i don't seem that upset about it now, but things of this caliber tend to hit hard after 1 or 2 days.
can anyone recommend coping strategies for this kind of thing?
Just remember, while its okay to cry and feel remorse and sadness over someones passing. It is always better to think of a funeral as a happy time. They have gone to a great unknown. They have embarked on a new journey. All we can do is celebrate their former existence with us. Because from that point forward, its better to carry those memories.
I watched two of my grandparents die slow deaths due to cancer and debilitating strokes. You see your mortality when they're assisted in life by machines. Lugging oxygen tanks, popping pills.. no longer independent people as they are under 24/7/365 care. You look into their eyes and see the life is no longer there. I remember being still being in kindergarten, and me and my mother watching after my grandma. As she slowly faded out due to all the chemo and radiation. Listening to my grandfather while lugging his oxygen tank around claim his mortality by denying treatment when they said it would be a 20% success rate. Claiming what is life if you're essentially dead inside.
Death is never easy. But its the most sure thing you get out of life.
I've had so much death in my life it doesn't even phase me anymore. As thejjokerr said, it's the best to get it out as quick and as soon as possible then move on, or you'll become one of these people where an entire year goes by and they still sit there and go "I can't continue with life right now, it's too soon." The more it happens the quicker you'll do it. The last death I had was my father, a hellish three month endevure watching him waste away of AIDS. When he passed I was over it in 20 minutes.
The best way I've found to let it out was by music. Peter Steele might help you. The trick with these is while listening to them, think of your memories, it's going to painful (trust me, I've done it) but it should get everything out. Rage, sadness, everything. I think of it as painful therapy.
Type O Negative - Everything Dies: [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ3aiM8K6D0[/URL]
Type O Negative - Everyone I Love Is Dead: [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws5UUPUg7V0[/URL]
"If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on men, he would kill himself."
- Alexander Dumas (1802-1870)
I don't know OP, personally I never really could deal with my father's death.
I wouldn't speak about it. I felt shame over it. I avoided the subject, and avoided everything that could lead into the subject of talking about fathers, or smth related.
This continued for years, but now like 14 years after the fact, I'm not touched by it at all. I can't even imagine what life would be like with him still around, or if I would even want that.
[QUOTE=Paxton;50442907]I've had so much death in my life it doesn't even phase me anymore. As thejjokerr said, it's the best to get it out as quick and as soon as possible then move on, or you'll become one of these people where an entire year goes by and they still sit there and go "I can't continue with life right now, it's too soon." The more it happens the quicker you'll do it. The last death I had was my father, a hellish three month endevure watching him waste away of AIDS. When he passed I was over it in 20 minutes.
The best way I've found to let it out was by music. Peter Steele might help you. The trick with these is while listening to them, think of your memories, it's going to painful (trust me, I've done it) but it should get everything out. Rage, sadness, everything. I think of it as painful therapy.
Type O Negative - Everything Dies: [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ3aiM8K6D0[/URL]
Type O Negative - Everyone I Love Is Dead: [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws5UUPUg7V0[/URL]
"If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on men, he would kill himself."
- Alexander Dumas (1802-1870)[/QUOTE]
Edgy.
OP, honestly this stuff varies between people.I was quite lucky in that I never really knew my grandparents, so I wasn't hit so hard. It might help you to throw yourself into helping with the funeral, or maybe youd prefer not you.
I'd urge you to remember other people, though.
[QUOTE=Dr. Ethan Asia;50449053]Edgy.[/QUOTE]
No, I'm just a sucker for self torment and emotional torture... and honestly it's the only thing that helps me.
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