Weird/funny/stupid shit you did when you were a baby/kid
80 replies, posted
When I was in nursery, I drew on the class's whiteboard... with a permanent marker. Got shouted at for it.
When I was in 1st or 2nd grade I tried to run away from school during recess. I was running as fast as I could and guards were following me. I obviously got caught.
Swallowed a battery, apparently
One time as a baby i was being held by my dad and managed to shit myself with such ferocity my nappy overflowed onto his lap.
I swallowed a coin when I was 7.
When I was a toddler, I wandered off into traffic following a car.
Stuck a key in an outlet.
It was an [I]electrifying[/I] experience.
when i was a little baby i cried so loudly one night that a neighbor called the police because they thought i was being tortured
i wasnt
When I was 3 or 4, I used to dance for bologna at this one particular deli in the neighborhood. Mind you the staff were friends of my mother and grandmother. Most of them still work there and joke to me about how I used to do that when I go in there.
Also I guess the fact that I used to like bologna apparently when I find it unappetizing now a days.
When I was a wee nipper I was playing with a toy car that had "realistic" rubber tyres. For some reason beyond my understanding as an adult, I decided to pluck one off and shove it up my nose.
It took two nurses to hold me down and a third with a pair of fuck-off huge tweezers to get it out. Apparently, if it had gone up any further, I could have died.
Dumped a bucket of rainwater to my face. I was thinking I could gulp it all down, like the clown fireman did in the Dumbo film.
It was kindergarten outside in children's jumpsuits. One of the watchers came over soon after iirc but he/she must have been like "wtf" inside.
When I was a baby, my neighbor took care of me most of the time because my parents worked full time and my neighbor neglected to tell her husband, who rarely saw me due to his work, that I was prone to atonic seizures. One day, while he was holding me, I fell over limp from a seizure and he ended up going to the hospital from the anxiety.
When I was a wee lad I use to go up to black people when in the park and say "hi brown person!". I also refused to talk until I was about 3. All I did before that was make AAANNH grunts.
I once wrote my sister's name on a wall in crayon with a frowny-smiley next to it and tried to blame her.
[QUOTE=Propane Addict;49522858]When I was a baby, my neighbor took care of me most of the time because my parents worked full time and my neighbor neglected to tell her husband, who rarely saw me due to his work, that I was prone to atonic seizures. One day, while he was holding me, I fell over limp from a seizure and he ended up going to the hospital from the anxiety.[/QUOTE]
Jesus fucking Christ.
I had a habit of calling every woman who gave me food "mommy"
Mom was really getting worried until she realized I just loved food and if I [I]actually[/I] needed mom, she was the only mom that would do.
I also changed the caller ID language to french when english and spanish were the only available choices. They never figured out how to change it back so they ended up getting a new caller ID. Don't think I could walk yet at that point.
[QUOTE=Xieneus;49521862]Stuck a key in an outlet.
It was an [I]electrifying[/I] experience.[/QUOTE]
I did the same, although it was a pair of tweezers. Positively shocking.
Choked on a piece of potato and almost suffocated myself to death
I was in my high chair eating spaghetti. I stopped eating, stared at my dad and picked up the bowl, holding it precariously over the edge of the high chair. Dad said "Don't do it" and as I stared at him I slowly tipped the bowl upside down and the spaghetti all over the floor.
I threw up on my sisters boyfriend, and tripped over a dog.
Ate 7 whole tubes of glue
When I was younger, probably around the age of three to four, I fell into a pond. It's the only memory I have of my grandfather before he passed away because he pulled me out, so there's something. I also remember having to be rushed upstairs to the bathroom for a shower because I had done something to a candle and I got wax all over my clothes and my arms. There was this one time where I got battery acid in my eye, can't remember how that happened. When I was slightly older, around the age of eight to nine, I was almost hit by a car because I assumed that this vehicle saw me and stopped, allowing me to cross the road. But it didn't and I was a few inches away from being hit.
I don't know if that counts towards as weird/funny/stupid in the thread but when I look back and think about the stupid things that I've done, these are the first few things that come to my mind.
[QUOTE=Sonic Fan;49535906]When I was younger, probably around the age of three to four, I fell into a pond.[/QUOTE]
My sister pushed me into a pond and I couldn't swim, luckily my dad noticed and pulled me out.
I once ran face first into a glass door.
My parents told me not to smoke so I don't get cancer. One time I pointed out the car window to someone smoking and said, "That person is going to get cancer!"
This is kind of weird I suppose. When I was born the nurses and doctors apparently used to say that I had this look like I'd been here before. Anyway, one day my mother had me in a stroller at the mall and this old man in a hooded robe approached her and told her the same thing. Kinda weird I suppose. He said something about being in this world before and said that I had been around an important person (eg. I might have been one of Napoleon's captains or something). I don't believe in this but its a pretty cool story.
I took a bunch of markers and started drawing on the wall,
by the time mom got home the whole place was full of drawings and she had to paint it white again
I rolled up pieces of bread into balls, put them into a bowl, and ate them while pretending to be a cat.
I dubbed this activity "Kitty fun balls."
v:downs:v
[QUOTE=Zakuvo99;49535538]Ate 7 whole tubes of glue[/QUOTE]
How dead are you?
I said the phone is ringing 2 seconds before our house phone started ringing.
I wrapped what I remember being a shoelace around my dog (for steering) and rode it like a horse. It got sick of me and ran under a tap so I'd get thrown off.
I dropped a hammer on my toe and the nail came off. According to my parents, I didn't even cry.
Sometimes, I wonder if baby me was manlier than current me.
My parents brought me into town and back then I used to love Superman so when I was with my Mom in some shop,I saw some guy wearing a Superman shirt and iirc,my Mom heard me say "Mommy its Supermanngggg" but ignored me because she thought I was with my Dad,next thing they knew,I was gone and they frantically looked for me for around an hour until they found me with a security guard and the guy with the Superman shirt telling them that I was stalking him for a while before he realized I was following him :v:
Not me but an honorable mention goes to my cousin, who once took a rock and cared his name onto his mothers car hood.
When confronted screamed bloody murder and shouted that it wasn't him, despite the car clearly had 'BEN' scratched across it.
I sniffed modelling glue and turpentine, I used to make a lot of models of fighter jets and attack helicopters, I admit that I did get quite buzzed but it was unintentional, I just kinda liked the smell of it I guess.
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