Michele Bachmanns Brain Attempts to Escape From Body.
49 replies, posted
[url]http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/20/us/politics/20bachmann.html?_r=1[/url]
[release] This week, a former staffer of Republican Presidential nominee hopeful Michele Bachmann revealed that the Minnesota Congresswoman occasionally suffers from stress headaches so severe that she's occasionally been incapacitated by them for days at a time. As a result, America's most well dressed homophobe takes a cocktail of pain medications to control her once-weekly attacks. Naturally, her opponents are seizing this opportunity to point out that having a President who becomes so stressed out that she is unable to function during moments of crisis might not bode too excellently for the future of the Republic.
Bachmann's firing back, claiming that her headaches are under control, a non-issue, and that she doesn't rely on dozens of pills in order to stay functional. She also blamed high heeled shoes for her migraines, which doesn't make sense on a couple of counts — first, because experts say that high-heeled shoes do not cause migraines (experts also say that homosexuality is not something that can be cured, but I digress), and second, because if your shoes are incapacitating you for days at a time, then why are you still wearing them? Wouldn't the simplest, most Tea Party Expressy common sense train salt of the earth solution to just wear flats sometimes?
[b]Headgate[/b] has gotten far enough out of hand that Bachmann's son, a medical resident at the University of Connecticut, has been asked to comment, and Bachmann herself issued the following statement,
"Let me be abundantly clear — my ability to function effectively has never been impeded by migraines and will not affect my ability to serve as commander in chief," Mrs. Bachmann, Republican of Minnesota, said in a statement. She described the headaches as "easily controlled with medication." [/release]
I love the title.
[QUOTE=Dr Magnusson;31247434]I love the title.[/QUOTE]
Thanks. Its awesome that she has headaches that literally knock her the fuck out.
I actually am thankful of this, karma really is a bitch. It proves she has something fucked up with her brain too.
Why does she take such a stressful position if its stress related though? That makes no sense. That seems extremely self-damaging and harmful to me.
[quote]"Let me be abundantly clear — my ability to function effectively has never been impeded by migraines and will not affect my ability to serve as commander in chief," Mrs. Bachmann, Republican of Minnesota, said in a statement. She described the headaches as "easily controlled with medication."[/quote]
Except how meds fuck with your thoughts, and effect how you function, very very much. If I was in her situation I would [B]NEVER[/B] allow myself a power position [B]EVER[/B] unless it was absolutely needed. I know for a fact that I would be in no condition to run anything. She however, doesn't.
I don't have a problem man! Get away from me and leave me alone!!
Whilst such afflictions are never good, it's good that such complications will prevent this madwoman from poisoning Asgard. Still, if she had a brain tumor, that'd be even worse for her, yet even better for the country.
I just noticed that they called it 'Headgate'
That's fucking hilarious.
The title is misleading.
It implies she has a brain in her head.
[QUOTE=Awesomecaek;31247490]The title is misleading.
It implies she has a brain.[/QUOTE]
Shit, you're right.
I feel like I'm reading a Glaber thread if he were to suddenly become liberal. But hey, this is FP.
When she starts to pause randomly and then continue as if nothing happened and the headaches get more severe is a sign when karma has just had the last laugh.
[QUOTE=Fort83;31247533]nice excuse Michele, high heeled shoes causing her headaches, what's next? Your baseball cap is causing your toes to hurt?[/QUOTE]
If it gives her head aches then
[highlight]WHY WEAR THEM SKANK FEET[/highlight]
I don't get high heeled shoes.
[QUOTE=J!NX;31247547]If it gives her head aches then
[highlight]WHY WEAR THEM SKANK FEET[/highlight]
I don't get high heeled shoes.[/QUOTE]
Something about making the ass look nice. This is the part where every sane person should point out she's a fucking politician, not a fashion model.
[QUOTE=dogmachines;31247579]Something about making the ass look nice. This is the part where every sane person should point out she's a fucking politician, not a fashion model.[/QUOTE]
It's the tea party. It's all like American Idol to them.
[QUOTE=dogmachines;31247579]Something about making the ass look nice. This is the part where every sane person should point out she's a fucking politician, not a fashion model.[/QUOTE]
I know I'm like, sorta gay and thus biased, but I don't see how feet = ass, what the hell are woman smoking these days?
I heard it makes it look bigger, but it doesn't even work when I try it!
Along the same topic of stupid things republican presidential nominees are saying,
Rick Santorum recently sent out an e-mail to his followers claiming that he was being persecuted by the evil "hate activists" Dan Savage and Bill Mahr.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I hope this kills her political career.
[b]EDIT[/b]
The gaybows do nothing.
Maybe the headache is God telling her to shut the fuck up and stop putting words in his mouth.
She doesn't have to worry about the migraines affecting her ability to act as commander in chief. It's like me saying my migraines won't affect my ability as a spaceman. I'm never going to be employed by NASA, so voila: no effect.
I hope she stubs her toe, she might get a stroke.
[QUOTE=Extroll;31249425]AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I hope this kills her[/QUOTE]
Fixed. :v:
So I guess we have to feel bad for her body, its being held hostage by that thing posing as her brain.
[editline]21st July 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=J!NX;31247595]I know I'm like, sorta gay and thus biased, but I don't see how feet = ass, what the hell are woman smoking these days?
I heard it makes it look bigger, but it doesn't even work when I try it![/QUOTE]As far as I'm aware, it fucks with your center of gravity and balance, basically making you twist and contort your spine like a kyposcoliosis victim so that you push your ass and breasts out further.
We should go to websites that support her and say that the headaches are God's way of punishing her for being dumb, their supporters are mostly religious so it might just work.
[QUOTE=J!NX;31247547]If it gives her head aches then
[highlight]WHY WEAR THEM SKANK FEET[/highlight]
I don't get high heeled shoes.[/QUOTE]
It forces the body to a position that women naturally take when courting males.
[QUOTE=MountainWatcher;31250423]It forces the body to a position that women naturally take when courting males.[/QUOTE]
Doggy?
[QUOTE=Nikota;31247444]Thanks. Its awesome that she has headaches that literally knock her the fuck out.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, imagine if she had one of those while she was driving!
She could DIE!
[QUOTE=MountainWatcher;31250423]It forces the body to a position that women naturally take when courting males.[/QUOTE]Yeah, I'm pretty sure "Bimbo Bitch" isn't the default courting position. Well, maybe around midnight near the corner store. But that's a special exemption.
[QUOTE=ironman17;31247470]Whilst such afflictions are never good, it's good that such complications will prevent this madwoman from poisoning Asgard. [/QUOTE]
Poison who?!
[QUOTE=Asgard;31250631]Poison who?![/QUOTE]
She's out to get you man!
[QUOTE=ironman17;31247470]Whilst such afflictions are never good, it's good that such complications will prevent this madwoman from poisoning Asgard. Still, if she had a brain tumor, that'd be even worse for her, yet even better for the country.[/QUOTE]
But we live in Midgard
[QUOTE=Nikota;31250479]Doggy?[/QUOTE] Tits out, ass out.
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