• For men who keep falling in love with female friends
    399 replies, posted
This goes out to all the men in the world who can't hang out with a girl for any extended period of time without falling in love. Not the big love, the showstopper, but the little, brightly burning loves that'll extinguish themselves given time and space--which won't happen quickly because your entire body is rebelling furiously against the idea of giving it the opportunity to sizzle (even though it's almost definitely the best decision you could make). This is for the men who meet a cool girl, one who's attractive and funny and smart and wonderful and amazing and who's got to be the most awesome girl in the world, and lose themselves to her. You'll come to your senses eventually, but for the moment, you are totally stoked that you've met an amazing girl who you don't have any feelings for! You're thinking, [i]"Wowzers! A pretty girl who has a lot in common with me that I'm not romantically interested in, making the inevitable heartbreak I would normally associate with such a fine young woman impossible! This is going to be great!"[/i] But you already know in your secret heart that it's only a matter of time, because you've been here a hundred times. I'd tell you not to be stupid, but it's not like you were [i]trying[/i] to set yourself up for disappointment. It's an honest mistake that you'll probably make a thousand times before you [i]finally[/i] learn to recognize the signs early, and choose to either opt out early or discover the cure for unrequited love. Yes, this is doomed to fail from the very beginning. Everything goes quite smoothly for the first couple of weeks, you hang out regularly and get along and laugh and are very pleased with everything going on. Sure, it all feels very familiar, but you're entirely convinced that [i]this[/i] time is different, that [i]this[/i] time you're totally absolutely [i]not[/i] going to mess it all up by falling in love. Things are looking good! You're especially convinced that you're doing very well being just a friend (and [i]only[/i] a friend) when you accidentally see her naked, but you both just laugh it off, even though you're a little embarrassed, because it was an honest mistake (and you're both just good friends). But that night you can't help but think about it. She [i]is[/i] very good looking, after all. But hey, it's fine to think that! It's not like you're actually interested in her [b]like that[/b]. Okay, so you've lost a little ground. Instead of thinking of her as your very good friend, you're now thinking of her as your very pretty friend. Your very good very pretty friend. It's okay though! She's good looking, it's not like that's [i]your[/i] fault! So you keep hanging out with her, only now instead of just watching the movie and making funny comments, big laughs all around, you're sneaking peaks at her, wondering what the harm would be in just putting your arm around her shoulders. Friends can cuddle. Friends cuddle all the time. It's totally platonic. You decide to give it a shot after a while, and wonder of wonders, she pulls in close to put her head on your shoulder! This time it totally [i]is[/i] her fault, you tell yourself. Because she feels so nice and warm there. It's lovely. It'd be okay if the movie never ended, probably, just because you like spending quality time with your good friend, who's [i]only a friend and nothing more[/i]. That's all. Honest. But that's bullshit of the purest ray serene, as Stephen King would say. You're in deep. You toss the idea of just talking to her about it around in your head for a week or so, and when you finally work up the nerve to breach the friendship and take it all or nothing into the relationship zone, you go to her house to see her head on somebody [i]else's[/i] shoulder. And more, she's practically sitting on his lap! It's not her you get angry at, though. It's him. Like an art snob evaluating a fine painting, you shun the idea that [i]anybody[/i] could appreciate this beautiful woman as much as you do. Who the fuck does he think he is! You sit there for a few hours, hoping for a break (like that maybe she'll realize this other guy is a big douchebag idiot and come to sit on [i]your[/i] lap). Eventually you realize that no break is coming, and that they seem to want to be alone. You mumble something about being tired and trudge home, head down and shoulders drooped like a sad Peanuts character.It could take months before you realize you only have two options: stick with her under the guise of a caring friend, suffering through heartache and woe and jealousy on the off-chance that she'll eventually realize that you're much kinder and better and handsomer than the other men she keeps spending time with; or accept the unfortunate truth that you have to do [i]something[/i] or nothing will ever change. Do you cut off all contact and wait for the flame to extinguish, hoping that you can go back to thinking she's just a good friend? Do you confess your burning love in the hopes that it'll woo her into being with you? Dunno, sport. You want to smack yourself for falling victim to this high school bullshit, but you can't really be blamed. Eventually the flame [i]will[/i] go out, and you'll be left feeling dumb for fucking up a perfectly good friendship with your hormone-driven hysteria. But it's okay, it happens to everybody. Chill out, stupid.
WOAH man
I stab the bitch and dispose of the corpse So far so good.
:golfclap: Well said and well written.
That was a good read.
You're probably the best thread-maker in GD.
Big Lovable American
i'm in a relationship with a girl that i've been friends with for a very long time this thread reeks of uncomfortable "nice guy" syndrome
I think I love you
shakespeare wrote romeo and juliet, not you
It's like you took my personality and problems and threw it into a paragraph, OP. Wow.
Fucking deep.
Fucking skyscraper of text. Good read, though. Might wanna make a tl;dr for those faggots that can't read on the internet.
You are my new internet hero Big Dumb American. [editline]7th November 2010[/editline] Do you write for a newspaper or a magazine or something? If not you really should, very few people can write that good.
[QUOTE=thisispain;25932831]i'm in a relationship with a girl that i've been friends with for a very long time this thread reeks of uncomfortable "nice guy" syndrome[/QUOTE] Me too, my friend, me too. It took a lot of work to see much of a passive-aggressive asshole I was being under the guise of "nice". Once I got that figured out, I made moves again and a relationship blossomed.
I've been down this road many times. It sucks.
What a dumbass. What do you do? You ask them the fuck out. It's that goddamn easy, holy shit, you kids make a big deal out of the smallest shit. Who cares if you've been friends for a long time? There's no rule saying you can't ask out friends. The worst possible thing anyone could ever do is the retarded "spill your guts" crap that all of you autistic idiots tend to do. When you ask someone out, you're inferring that you are interested and have feelings for them, you don't need to make shit awkward and pull that "Hurr I like you" crap out.
This happens to me a lot, and I know how to stop it. But one of my best friends is having a different effect on me. I'm attracted to her, but different than any way I've been attracted to someone. On a deeper level.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;25933059]What a dumbass. What do you do? You ask them the fuck out. It's that goddamn easy, holy shit, you kids make a big deal out of the smallest shit. Who cares if you've been friends for a long time? There's no rule saying you can't ask out friends. The worst possible thing anyone could ever do is the retarded "spill your guts" crap that all of you autistic idiots tend to do. When you ask someone out, you're inferring that you are interested and have feelings for them, you don't need to make shit awkward and pull that "Hurr I like you" crap out.[/QUOTE] ok multi-thousand-hour steam game player and 6000-poster maverickIB i see that you likely spend a lot of time with your penis in and/or around women good job telling us your secret thanks bro i appreciate [editline]8th November 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=Upgrade123;25933077]This happens to me a lot, and I know how to stop it. But one of my best friends is having a different effect on me. I'm attracted to her, but different than any way I've been attracted to someone. On a deeper level.[/QUOTE] yeah you want her vagina, BDA just went over this
You're a very talented writer, also, BDA. I know that doesn't seem like an impressive title, but there's a lot of shitty writing going around and yours shines.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;25933059]What a dumbass. What do you do? You ask them the fuck out. It's that goddamn easy, holy shit, you kids make a big deal out of the smallest shit. Who cares if you've been friends for a long time? There's no rule saying you can't ask out friends. The worst possible thing anyone could ever do is the retarded "spill your guts" crap that all of you autistic idiots tend to do. When you ask someone out, you're inferring that you are interested and have feelings for them, you don't need to make shit awkward and pull that "Hurr I like you" crap out.[/QUOTE] Haha saw this exact post coming. It's like 90% of threads in Love Advice.
It's because he has a super-sized superiority complex and wants to look alpha in front of FP
maybe, but he's absolutely right
This was a great topic to write on, also, because anyone who's social and male has probably experienced it. [editline]8th November 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=thisispain;25933161]maybe, but he's absolutely right[/QUOTE] I thought you were the repugnant Jewish farmboy who never got out? If that's the truth, you have no right sticking your cartilaginous appendage into others' business.
:golfclap:
same goes for girls falling in love with male friends. trust me males arent the only ones who get friend-zoned
[QUOTE=Xolo;25933162] I thought you were the repugnant Jewish farmboy who never got out?[/QUOTE] what? farmboy? where did you get farmboy from?
[QUOTE=thisispain;25933194]what? farmboy? where did you get farmboy from?[/QUOTE] Oh. So, you're just repugnant, Jewish, and never get out? Not that the median necessarily lessens your chance for social interaction, but the former and latter do.
Uhh... pretty much summed me up about a year ago.. and through my childhood..
[QUOTE=bree;25933189]same goes for girls falling in love with male friends. trust me males arent the only ones who get friend-zoned[/QUOTE] It's just that females aren't as susceptible because they don't have an over-abundance of testosterone surging through them for eight years or so telling them to club the nearest mating partner and make love with its orifices. [editline]8th November 2010[/editline] It's nothing more romantic than that, just chemicals.
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