My friend's parents won't let him have any freedom, and he doesn't know what to do.
38 replies, posted
Hello everyone. So there's this friend of mine who I've been talking to over Steam, and he has some problems with his parents. I wanted to help him, so I asked if I should post about it on the forums to see what you guys had in mind.
[quote=My friend]
Well, my parents do have problems with giving me a chance to do things on my own.
For instance, they won't let me go out and for example buy a soda if I wanted to.
In fact, they won't let me go to the city at all, not even if I am with friends or anything.
The main problem is that you could say I'm grounded until I'm 18, in some way.
Well, that is the first problem. The second problem is that my dad keeps taking my money and puts them in a safe. So, If I get any birthday money, they go to the safe. The money I got for my confirmation went to the safe. Even the money I earn through hard work he won't let me spend.
Only on very rare occasions he will let me spend my money.
Recently I've been begging him to let me get a new PC. After some arguing, he told me that I could use 730$ on a PC, not any more. Even though it is my own money.
He thinks that it's a waste of money, even though what I have now is a shitty, 4 year old craptop, which is pretty much useless.
Another thing is, I used to have a phone (Which he gave me for christmas by the way), but it broke like 2 years ago. I asked for a new one, but he just said "I bought you a phone, I won't get you another" or something along those lines.
The thing is, he doesn't really know how the general population works nowadays, he doesn't want to understand it either.
I didnt grow up in the same "world" as he did or so to speak, it seems that he thinks that's the case. The world has changed since then, but he doesn't care.
And after one problem, another comes up. Remember how I said he would let me buy a PC for under 730$?
Too bad he's changing his mind all the time. So now he won't let me buy a PC at all. If i ask him, I'll get grounded, but that doesn't really do anything because I'm technically grounded all the time.
So my question is, how can I get some sense into my parents heads?
Specifially, how do I convince my dad to let me have some more freedom?
It's almost like a prison, I can't even go outside.
My friend Warship said I could call some kind of helpline, but I know if
my dad found out, he would get really pissed, and take away my computer
for several months.
Please leave some suggestions about how I can get help. Thanks.[/quote]
Tl;dr: My parents won't let me have any freedom. They won't let me go out, and I may not spend any of my money. If I get any money, they will be locked away in a safe, and they tell me I have to wait until I am 18 to spend money, go out etc.
[b]EDIT: He is around 15 years old[/b]
How old is he?
15 I think it was
tell your "friend" that we know who he is and that we know about his dad, he's been posting about him in the computer illiterates thread since v2.
If he's 15+ he should contact a family councilor. And the money part is probably going to pay off.
no freedom right?
make his parents life living hell until they WANT him out, and out for a LONG time.
OR, he could pretend to be a really bad seed. he could leave tons of submissive porn open on his computer, have him wear a "pier pressure is the best!" t-shirt, leave 2 1/2 lines of sugar next to a razor blade on a piece of paper and do tons of other things that a kid submitting to pier pressure/submissiveness would do. make his parents WANT him to express some sort of freedom because it looks like its messing him up.
[QUOTE=GrabbinPills;30786025]tell your "friend" that we know who he is and that we know about his dad, he's been posting about him in the computer illiterates thread since v2.[/QUOTE]
He's not on facepunch...
he's grounded already, just tell him to refuse any chores or helping or anything until his parents will negotiate with hm
well for a start how old is he?
that makes all the difference.
[QUOTE=Warship;30786052]He's not on facepunch...[/QUOTE]
proof required.
[QUOTE=DJFender;30786032]And the money part is probably going to pay off.[/QUOTE]
Eh, I'm not so sure about that. If he has an actual job, he should be entitled to spend at least some of it. Having someone else make all financial decisions for you won't teach you anything about earning and spending money.
Besides, why does he put it in a safe? If I was the father, I'd at least put it in a savings account so some interest builds up.
Oh God those types of parent's are nightmares :gonk:
I take it your friend isn't the strongest type and is pretty submissive.
I think there are several things he could do. One would be to get his Dad to promise him something and write it down. And HOLD him to his [b]WORD.[/b] His Dad comes across as one of those Mega Old Worlde types, so he could try that. That might get through to him.
Question, how old is your friend?
[QUOTE=Mak123;30786079]well for a start how old is he?
that makes all the difference.[/QUOTE]
Bad reading. He's around 15
Kill parents.
It sounds like it's you you're talking about. But really, contact a family councilor, so your parents can get a professional's opinion on things.
nah just kidding tell him to break into the safe, steal all the money, then run away and live at a friends house.
broke my automerge :saddowns:
just call child services
thats horrible
[QUOTE=DJFender;30786122]It sounds like it's you you're talking about[/QUOTE]
Well it isn't, I don't even need a new computer, I just got a new one three weeks ago
You should probably add your friend's age to the OP so people stop asking.
[QUOTE=GhostG45;30786140]You should probably add your friend's age to the OP so people stop asking.[/QUOTE]
Yeah
What I'd do was as someone above said, when the parents leave, take my money out of the safe (break in with a crowbar or something) and take my laptop, some clothes and stuff and go stay at a friend's house. I've had to stay at a friend's place before and if his/her parents like you it's not bad at all.
Is "Your Friend" you?
[QUOTE=markpizza;30786138]just call child services
thats horrible[/QUOTE]
This. If nothing else works, use this.
Can you ask him WHY his parents wont let him outside? Is it over-protectiveness, or something?
[QUOTE=GrabbinPills;30786095]proof required.[/QUOTE]
Here's not his accounts: [url]www.facepunch.com/members/1[/url] [url]www.facepunch.com/members/2[/url] etc...
why is the thread title talking about "my friend" and the tl;dr talking about "me"
[QUOTE=BWO Josh;30786208]Is "Your Friend" you?[/QUOTE]
I'm pretty anonymous here on FP, so I don't see why I should post it as "my friend" if it was really me
[editline]29th June 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=raviool;30786254]why is the thread title talking about "my friend" and the tl;dr talking about "me"[/QUOTE]
It's a tl;dr for the quote
so all of this is because of a computer?
lol
[QUOTE=markpizza;30786138]just call child services
thats horrible[/QUOTE]
Not really? They're looking out for his best interests, they aren't abusing him.
My parents did this exact thing to me.
I'm surprised that people are acting like it's a horrible, horrible thing.
I once earned a large sum of money when I was 14 through some investment type stuff
I couldn't ever use that money until I was 18
I wasn't even allowed to spend any money that I earned by doing jobs in our neighborhood because I wasn't allowed to until I was 18
I guess it was just normal for me...
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