• But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship (...)
    13 replies, posted
[url]http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/[/url] [release]I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think? I knew you would understand. You always do. We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here. It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me. No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego. Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us. Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that. Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi. Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us. Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be. [U]Best[/U] friends. Friends forever.[/release]
I told that to my friend-girl.
Not understanding the point in this
[QUOTE=Revanold;27437198]Not understanding the point in this[/QUOTE] it's an amazing article, that's what it is
Hey, you got a title! What for? /offtopic yeah it's a nice article
guy receiving the letter is a pussy
She sounds like a terrible bff.
[QUOTE=FreakySoup;27438461]Hey, you got a title! What for? /offtopic yeah it's a nice article[/QUOTE] He paid for it. Titles can be bought now.
Haha this has happened to me. Damnit...
[img]http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs401.snc3/24332_319791682330_319790492330_4025107_6437650_n.jpg[/img]
Hahaha :v: Funniest letter I have read in a while.
I was in this situation. But then I went out on a limb and pulled her aside one day to talk to her. It went along the lines of, "You're great, but you just want to be friends and I don't. I should probably try to forget about you, so I will; I'm not going to talk to you very much at all anymore. Bye." So far I feel pretty good but the only problem is that now, she hangs out with the douchiest guy in our entire fucking town instead of me.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE[/media]
Also brotip, I know from experience: When (s)he says "It would ruin our friendship" that doesn't mean she would date you but she's worried, it means she's just not romantically interested in you at all and it's easier for her to tell you that she cares too much than that she doesn't care.
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