• Is There a Correlation Between Ramen and Your Semen Consistency?
    57 replies, posted
Hello facepunch I do not have much time and I need a few questions answered. Lets start at the begining because who the fuck starts anywhere else. I have had nothing but ramen to eat for the last 3 weeks. I was masturbating to the usual rule 34 of oats n honey brand cereal dominating captain crunch when I just couldnt contain my beast within and blew my load. Albeit it was a little large and that was odd because I was only jacking off to cereal but everything was normal until it hit me. Then it hit me again. and again. My fucking jizz was rebounding off the floor and bouncing back up and exploding on the bottom side of my keyboard holder splattering me with bouncy cum. So here I was spraying spurt after spurting and feeling like the 5 dollar whore captain crunch box in front of me, oh how the captains eyes mocked me!! Once the torment finished I stood up to go wash off only to realize that I was covered in sperm...bouncy sperm. I could not resist the thought of bouncing along at 70 miles per fucking hour and making every average joe shit himself at my awesomeness. So I walked out back and took a running leap at my wall expecting to bounce over the fence into freedom. Well a bloody nose later I realized the semen had changed suddenly back to just normal semen. I knew that if the power of the bouncy semen could be harnessed, transportation would be born into a new era. So I have decided to conduct experiments to find the cause of the bouncey semen and how to prolong it. Obviously my first choice of examination would be my strange diet as things like pineapple affect semen, why not ramen? So my question to you facepunch... Can food affect semen properties other then taste? I hope to get some enlightening data from my fellow scientists who I am positive just like me are eager to find the results!! AND NOW I BRAVELY VENTURE FORTH INTO THE UNKNOWN TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE BOUNCING SEMEN! After consulting with a few first hand eye witnesses and reviewing the video tapes of this incident. I have recreated the first moments from the view point of what I had thought occured: 12 am. Here I am seen masturbating quite furiously to Captain crunch's pleading eyes as it was pounded mercilessly by oats n honey. [IMG]http://img375.imageshack.us/img375/6446/slide1yh.jpg[/IMG] Obviously with such erotic material at my disposal it was not long until I had reached a climax of titanian proportions. [IMG]http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/4870/slide2le.jpg[/IMG] Then the event that spawned this thread occured. In a mass of chaos and cum I went in as a boy but came out a man. I had a new meaning to life, to find the mystery of the rebounding skeet! [IMG]http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/8736/slide3ss.jpg[/IMG] Obviously further documentation on the events that ocurred later will be posted, but I must gather some more data! Continuation of the events that ocurred my fellow scientists. Covered in such an amazing material I knew I could nto resist some more experimentation to the limits of this new super skeet. [IMG]http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/8845/slide1lmh.jpg[/IMG] Obviously I would need an open enviroment for such testing to be unhindered so naturally I chose my backyard! So there I was on the cusp of a new age of transportation! [IMG]http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/2879/slide2i.jpg[/IMG] Only to be struck down by disaster. [IMG]http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/7894/slide3qa.jpg[/IMG] Like any scientist I calmly handled the pain and analyzed it in the cold calculating precision I am known for. [IMG]http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/6466/slide4o.jpg[/IMG] Obviously something had gone horribly wrong, but what!!! Further review will be needed. -edit- Nvm, my bad guys it wasnt bouncey semen it was just the table fan I laid upwards on the floor to keep my balls from getting sweaty while I jerked off.
Oh god someone archive this for future generations.
Did you really have to put those two in the same sentence? Now I can never think of Ramen the same way again.
hot
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/timschafer.jpg[/img]
Stop doing extacy.
I'm uh... I'm gonna go make some ramen.
Posting in a thread Im sure will be looked upon as gold by the future facepunchians.
Draw some pictures on paint next time.
Data charts will not be presented until I finish experimenting, luckily the new penthouse letters came in today so I will have plenty of data soon.
This demands further experimentation! :science:
...I love you
I feel a title for this man.
Well, I read this thread, and I was all like "COME HERE LITTLE BOYS TOUCH MY BOOBIES." and then dan was boobies.
Holy shit, what.
After consulting with a few first hand eye witnesses and reviewing the video tapes of this incident. I have recreated the first moments from the view point of what I had thought occured: 12 am. Here I am seen masturbating quite furiously to Captain crunch's pleading eyes as it was pounded mercilessly by oats n honey. [IMG]http://img375.imageshack.us/img375/6446/slide1yh.jpg[/IMG] Obviously with such erotic material at my disposal it was not long until I had reached a climax of titanian proportions. [IMG]http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/4870/slide2le.jpg[/IMG] Then the event that spawned this thread occured. In a mass of chaos and cum I went in as a boy but came out a man. I had a new meaning to life, to find the mystery of the rebounding skeet! [IMG]http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/8736/slide3ss.jpg[/IMG] Obviously further documentation on the events that ocurred later will be posted, but I must gather some more data!
Dude there is an elephant between your legs in the last picture.
:what:
[QUOTE=Franke_R!?;23232853]Dude there is an elephant between your legs in the last picture.[/QUOTE] Elephants come from Africa and India both of which have been scientifically disproved as myths. Therefore you are a dirty lier and should leave this god damn thread.
Posting in epic thread.
Thanks OP, now I shall use my semen to conduct life-changing experiments and I shall become SEMEN...MAN
Go my child for the benefeit of mankind!
You jack off to cereal?
A++ Thread would read again
:wtc: Posting in epic thread
[img]http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/i_dont_even_cat.jpg[/img]
I tried, no avail. However, my semen did shoot about a foot farther than normal. [editline]11:33PM[/editline] I predict this to become one of those epic copypastas.
I used to eat Ramen a lot, but all I got were kidney stones... Also, posting in epic thread.
Posting in epic thread.
so its safe to say i can make a thread about one of my weird sex related experiences....
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