The future is fucking now; I bet you can guess what you order from Shipadick.com
29 replies, posted
[img]http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Featimg_.jpg[/img]
[I]for that special cunt in your life; take the next step towards derision and buy em' a cardboard cock[/I]
[quote=dailydot]
If there’s someone in your life who is, for lack of a better term, a total dick, you’ve probably struggled with deciding how to confront them. You could talk to them in person. You could write a sharply worded email enumerating all your grievances against them. Or you could send them a package that lets them know, in no uncertain terms, exactly how you feel. And by package, we literally mean a package.
Enter Shipadick.com, which is exactly what it sounds like: a website that allows you to ship a two-and-a-half-foot cardboard erect penis to anyone in the world.
For $9.99, you can send a standard 29-inch dick; for $14.99, you can also add a customizable message or one from the site’s drop-down menu, filled with such Algonquin Round Table nuggets as “SLAP!”, “I love you,” “Mine bends where yours ends,”[B] “Congrats! You’ve got Herpes!”[/B] or just an elegant, concise “You’re a dick.” There are also holiday versions available, such as a heart with a dick going through it for Valentine’s Day, and a dick with a crown of thorns around the head for Easter this month.
Ship A Dick is the brainchild of Marshall and Chester, two longtime BFFs who met while working as valets at a Portland hotel. (The two run a laser-cutter engraving company together in the area and don’t want to reveal their last names for fear of alienating prospective clients.) Back in 2012, they were emailing back and forth in preparation for a trade convention in Marshall’s home state of California when the idea took root.
“Marshall’s older brother is sort of a dick, so he said, ‘Cut a giant dick out of cardboard just in case my brother shows up,” Chester recalled. [B]“So I read the email and pretty much instantly said, ‘Dude, we should probably make a website where people order giant cardboard dicks and mail them to each other.”
“We just want to make the world a better place,” Marshall added.[/B]
The dicks themselves are 29-inch erect cardboard monstrosities that are generally brown on one side and white on the other. With the exception of a one-balled “charity dick” version made to honor a friend of Chester’s who was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer, the dicks don’t reflect any of the anatomical variations usually found in dick nature. There are no veiny dicks, for example, or dicks that curve to the left or right.
For reasons better left unprinted, we sent one to our intrepid Daily Dot managing editor. It arrived just in time for his birthday on April Fools’ Day (no joke), and was addressed from one “Hugh Johnson.” (Cue Simpsons prank call.) He opened it at dinner, much to the apparent horror of the child sitting beside him. Needless to say, it was a worthwhile expenditure, if only for the resulting photo.
[img]http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/photo2.png[/img]
Since 2012, when Ship A Dick first launched, the website has been slowly growing, with Marshall and Chester fielding requests for at least five dicks a day; during holiday seasons like Valentine’s Day and Christmas, they’ll get up to 10 to 15 orders a day. Unsurprisingly, they often ship to New York City’s Financial District.
That raises the question: Exactly what kind of people are willing to spend $15.00 on a customizable cardboard dick (other than Daily Dot reporters emotionally scarring American youth)?
Marshall and Chester don’t know, but they’ve gotten some tantalizing hints in the form of the customized messages people ask them to put on their dicks.
[B]“One of my favorites was ‘Stop fucking blacking out, you dick,’ all in capitals,” Marshall said.
“My favorite simply said ‘I’m pregnant’ on it,” Chester added.[/B]
“Some girl—we’re assuming she was drunk—ordered 7 or 8 in one night,” noted Marshall. “It said ‘Hello Grandma, Satan loves you.’”[/quote]
I fucking love the guys who own the site; they treat all of it so hilariously
[url="http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/features/report/9544/this-company-will-send-you-a-giant-cardboard-penis/"]More hilarity from the creators in source[/url]
[quote=amazing]
“We’ve only gotten three complaints this year so far, from people offended enough to demand where the dicks came from, and they were all blank dicks,” said Marshall, noting that Ship A Dick has a strict policy of anonymity. [B]“In a way, the blank dick is more offensive because you don’t know what it means. You don’t know how to take it if it doesn't have some message.”[/B][/quote]
Don't you just want one of these delightful presents? There are so many possibilities for personalized FP dicksayings.
[img]http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/shipadick.jpg[/img]
[img]http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/shipadick2.jpg[/img]
Reminds me of the most hated act from my highschool life; some kid I knew ever since elementary school and his friends decided to go to town vandalizing the school. They drew swastikas, caricatures of hated school personnel as nazis, threw gallons of paint on the front gates of the school, and the biggest endeavor? They planned a 100 ft dick that they drew in the main courtyard in white part that could be seen from a helicopter. The school took personal vendettas against every one of the kids involved and they got absolutely screwed.
This is history in the making men, Remember this day when shipping dicks to dicks became a reality
[B][U]Dick Day Friday, April 18 2014[/U][/B]
[quote]That raises the question: Exactly what kind of people are willing to spend $15.00 on a customizable cardboard dick [/quote]
Well...I uhh, maybe me.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/9RE8gUC.jpg[/img]
I now have a list of people I have queued for delivery. Finally something I can happily waste money on
I'll never understand the obsession with drawing penises everywhere (this seems an extension of that)
[QUOTE=Trogdon;44580023]I'll never understand the obsession with drawing penises everywhere (this seems an extension of that)[/QUOTE]
Idk since it isn't explicit looking and it's literally just a cartoonish cock; I'd love to send this to the right cunt in my life
[QUOTE=Trogdon;44580023]I'll never understand the obsession with drawing penises everywhere (this seems an extension of that)[/QUOTE]
People have been obsessed with dicks for ages
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/15/Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica5.jpg/800px-Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica5.jpg[/t]
[QUOTE=Trogdon;44580023]I'll never understand the obsession with drawing penises everywhere (this seems an extension of that)[/QUOTE]
All living things have an in built desire to reproduce, often taking precedent over everything else, and humans aren't exempt from that. An obsession with the reproductive organ is just an expression of how important humans see their genitalia and sex.
[QUOTE=Ashes;44579654]This is history in the making men, Remember this day when shipping dicks to dicks became a reality
[B][U]Dick Day Friday, April 18 2014[/U][/B][/QUOTE]
D-Day 2
This sounds like a Grand Theft Auto 4/5 website
[QUOTE=Trogdon;44580023]I'll never understand the obsession with drawing penises everywhere (this seems an extension of that)[/QUOTE]
It's the human condition.
When the last bomb has fallen, and the dust finally settles, the only remaining monument to humanity will be a penis etched onto the wall of a bathroom stall.
[QUOTE=Helix Snake;44583737]This sounds like a Grand Theft Auto 4/5 website[/QUOTE]
I was thinking of PointClickShipABitch.com since they sounded similar.
[QUOTE]Plus, Chester said, there’s just something about the dick itself that just tickles the funny bone[r]. “They’re this weird, goofy part of the body that serves almost no purpose, unless you’re in the middle of sex or something,” he says. “They’re just this hilarious appendage.”[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Trogdon;44580023]I'll never understand the obsession with drawing penises everywhere (this seems an extension of that)[/QUOTE]
You haven't played Spore until you've mastered the art of making dick creatures.
[QUOTE=Cmx;44580112]People have been obsessed with dicks for ages
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/15/Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica5.jpg/800px-Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica5.jpg[/t][/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ed/0007MAN-Herma.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=sam6420;44579887]I have an african dick statue in my room.
God, I'm so excited.[/QUOTE]
pics?
Wonder how the creators would take it if someone sent them dicks from their own site...
[QUOTE=gooooooooooogle;44586944]pics?[/QUOTE]
So you're really asking someone for dick pix on the internet, huh?
Can someone explain men's obsession with dicks to me?
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;44587451]Can someone explain men's obsession with dicks to me?[/QUOTE]
See post #9.
[QUOTE=JohnnyOnFlame;44587459]See post #9.[/QUOTE]
A lot of living things eat stuff while they're still alive, doesn't mean humans do it (or should do it). I'd like to think humans would have more control over their impulses.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;44587551]A lot of living things eat stuff while they're still alive, doesn't mean humans do it (or should do it). I'd like to think humans would have more control over their impulses.[/QUOTE]
You can think it all you want but the main drive the majority of the time is procreation.
Shipping one to my brother as soon as I get paid this coming week. So pumped.
[QUOTE=Cmx;44580112]People have been obsessed with dicks for ages
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/15/Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica5.jpg/800px-Pompeya_er%C3%B3tica5.jpg[/t][/QUOTE]
Ahh, the day dicks became blunt weapons.
[QUOTE=Duck M.;44586777][T]http://31.media.tumblr.com/48ac254508a8a8e1ac60eeead540611a/tumblr_mh0ec8Cwz11r2eud8o1_500.jpg[/T][/QUOTE]
this has now become a thread on dickhistory in sculptures as well
[editline]19th April 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Propane Addict;44587840]Shipping one to my brother as soon as I get paid this coming week. So pumped.[/QUOTE]
Godspeed; tell us what you end up writing on it
[QUOTE=ZombieDawgs;44587643]You can think it all you want but the main drive the majority of the time is procreation.[/QUOTE]
So why dicks and not vaginas? It's like marking your territory, and pretty much exclusive to men.
[QUOTE=Trogdon;44589030]So why dicks and not vaginas? It's like marking your territory, and pretty much exclusive to men.[/QUOTE]
i'm sure they'll expand to send large cardboard vaginas, captioned with 'you're a cunt'
but you have to start somewhere, and penises are easy to carve out of cardboard.
[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;44579639]
Reminds me of the most hated act from my highschool life; some kid I knew ever since elementary school and his friends decided to go to town vandalizing the school. They drew swastikas, caricatures of hated school personnel as nazis, threw gallons of paint on the front gates of the school, and the biggest endeavor? [b]They planned a 100 ft dick that they drew in the main courtyard in white part that could be seen from a helicopter. The school took personal vendettas against every one of the kids involved and they got absolutely screwed.[/b][/QUOTE]
The older brother of someone I knew used weedkiller to burn a 20ft cock into the field of a nearby school, this picture is from 2 years after they did it, as it turned up on google maps.
[img]http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Education/Pix/pictures/2007/01/31/penisPAwide.jpg[/img]
[img]http://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/wpid-map2_450x308.jpg[/img]
I wonder if it's still there.
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