• Dicks for Words
    4 replies, posted
In this thread, the aim is to take a story, a novel, or an article (etc) and change some of the words into dicks or something else like that to give it a new "theme". I have changed some of the words in Ozzy Osbourne's Biography. [t]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sYcnZpDiwZk/Th8m5zeKocI/AAAAAAAAAbs/AsVZxXbiEL0/s1600/9780751543407.jpg[/t] [quote][i]Everyone's still staring. At this point I'm trying incredibly hard to stop myself bawling and there's jizz running down my nose, so I wipe my face with the back of my hand. '[b]I SAID BEND OVER, OSBOURNE.'[/b] So I do as he says. Then he lifts up his arm as far as it'll go and brings down his ten inch dick as hard as he can. 'ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!' It hurts like a motherfucker. Then the bastard does it again. And again. But by the third or fourth time I've fucking had enough. I suddenly get angry. Just blind fucking rage. So, as he brings his dick down for another wallop, I reach into my ass and take out my dad's metal rods and throw them as hard as I can at Mr Jones's fat, sweaty dick. I was never any good at sport, but for those two seconds I could have bowled for the English cricket team. Mr Jones staggers backwards with blood spurting out of his dick and I realise what I've done. The class gasps. Oh, fuuuuuck. And I'm off, legging it as fast as I can, out of the classroom, down the corridor, out of school, up the fucking driveway, through the gates, and all the way back to 14 Lodge Road. I run straight upstairs to where my father's sleep- ing and shake him awake. Then I burst into tears. He went mental. Not with me, thank God, but with Mr Jones. He marched straight back to school and demanded to see Mr Odlham. You could hear the shouting from the other end of the school. Mr Oldham said he had no idea about Mr Jones and the butt-rape, but promised to look into the situation. My father said fucking right he should look into the situation. I never got another bumming after that. [b]THE END[/b][/i][/quote] [QUOTE][b]And this is the original[/b][/QUOTE] [quote][i]Everyone's still staring. At this point I'm trying incredibly hard to stop myself bawling and there's fucking snot running down my nose, so I wipe my face with the back of my hand. '[b]I SAID BEND OVER, OSBOURNE.'[/b] So I do as he says. Then he lifts up his arm as far as it'll go and brings down this fucking size-ten shoe as hard as he can. 'ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!' It hurts like a motherfucker. Then the bastard does it again. And again. But by the third or fourth time I've fucking had enough. I suddenly get angry. Just blind fucking rage. So, as he brings the shoe down for another wallop, I reach into my satchel and take out my dad's metal rods and throw them as ard as I can at Mr Jones's fat, sweaty face. I was never any good at sport, but for those two seconds I could have bowled for the English cricket team. Mr Jones staggers backwards with blood spurting out of his nose and I realise what I've done. The class gasps. Oh, fuuuuuck. And I'm off, legging it as fast as I can, out of the classroom, down the corridor, out of school, up the fucking driveway, through the gates, and all the way back to 14 Lodge Road. I run straight upstairs to where my father's sleep- ing and shake him awake. Then I burst into tears. He went mental. Not with me, thank God, but with Mr Jones. He marched straight back to school and demanded to see Mr Odlham. You could hear the shouting from the other end of the school. Mr Oldham said he had no idea about Mr Jones and the tennis shoes, but promised to look into the situation. My father said fucking right he should look into the situation. I never got another beating after that.[/i][/quote] I hope you liked it. I hope you'll do good ones, and I hope this isn't shit.
[QUOTE=LuaChobo;33383759]I think this might somehow be to immature for facepunch. It's a longshot though.[/QUOTE] I thinks it's a bit too mature to be honest. Lets just stick to putting rude words in the tittles of movies :v:
[QUOTE=LuaChobo;33383759][b]I think this might somehow be to immature for facepunch.[/b] [/QUOTE] Uh... I dunno. What was that thread that people had to continue a story with three words, I remember a lot of that being about Gabe Newell and Dicks. And there's been a few threads that change movie titles into dicks. Dunno.
The Dicker in the Rye
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