• Judge orders husband to take abused wife to Red Lobster
    34 replies, posted
[quote] A judge in Florida has ordered a man accused of domestic violence to take his wife on a date for her birthday, including flowers, Red Lobster and bowling. Joseph Bray’s wife, Sonya, told Broward County Judge John “Jay” Hurley that she had gotten mad at her husband because he failed to wish her a happy birthday, [URL="http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/fl-flowers-food-bowling-20120207,0,947444.story"]according to the [I]Sun Sentinel[/I][/URL]. “Having an altercation in the kitchen, Joseph grabbed her arm, pushed her on the couch, put his hand around her neck, held up his fist to hit her, but didn’t actually hit her,” the police report said, according to Hurley. Bray’s wife said that although this wasn’t the first time she had to call the police, she loved her husband very much and didn’t want “nothing bad to happen to him.” “I want him to come home,” she added. “I’m going to order that when he comes home tonight — do you have a favorite restaurant?” the judge asked. “I like going bowling,” the wife replied. “I go to Red Lobster.” “I like Red Lobster,” Hurley agreed. “What we’re going to do is, he’s going to be out of jail by three o’clock today. And he’s going to stop by somewhere and he’s going to get some flowers — he’s going to get a card, he’s going to get flowers. And then he’s going to go home, pick up his wife, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they’re going to go bowling. Alright?” “Does he have to let her win?” someone in the court asked. “No,” the judge said. “But what you’re going to do tomorrow night — tomorrow afternoon, you’re going to sit down and figure out where you’re going to go to counseling, alright? So, flowers, birthday card, Red Lobster, bowling. You got your work cut out for you.” Shakesville blogger Melissa McEwan [URL="http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2012/02/you-are-shitting-me-you-have-to-be.html"]pointed out[/URL] that the wife should not have been asked if she feared further violence while her abuser was in the courtroom. “I desperately hope that Sonja Bray is safe,” McEwan wrote. “And I hope that Judge Ha Ha Chuckles is removed from the bench immediately. He literally facilitated what could very well be part of a pattern of escalating abuse: Violence, elaborate display of romance, violence. No one who thinks that sentence is appropriate, no one who [I]fails to recognize how it fits into a recognized abuse cycle[/I], has any fucking business presiding over domestic abuse cases.”[/quote] [url]http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/02/09/judge-orders-husband-to-take-abused-wife-to-red-lobster/[/url]
Domestic violence needs to start being taken seriously
Stupid, if the husband thinks he can get away with beating his wife just by giving her flowers and taking her out to dinner then it's only going to become a cycle.
[QUOTE=Asdroxia;34631201]Stupid, if the husband thinks he can get away with beating his wife just by giving her flowers and taking her out to dinner then it's only going to become a cycle.[/QUOTE] He didn't actually "beat" her. Judging from the article it seems like it was probably an argument that escalated into a small physical altercation. It's hardly the woman getting beaten black and blue. She also said that she still wants to be with him and didn't want anything bad to happen to him. This seems unorthodox, but fair. If he was put in jail for any period of time, they would still probably get back together right after he got out. At least the woman gets a nice dinner with a man she probably loves, and the man doesn't have to go to jail. [editline]10th February 2012[/editline] [quote]No one who thinks that sentence is appropriate, no one who fails to recognize how it fits into a recognized abuse cycle[/quote] The state won't be able to break that abuse cycle, it will happen regardless of him being put in jail and a restraining order filed or not. She will get back with him, he will get back with her. She is the one who needs to end the cycle herself. No one can do it for her.
Well, it seems like she didn't get it. But if the article had actually said that she was beat up, this would be fucking stupid. Now the only thing I'm waiting for is; Husband murders wife at Red Lobster.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;34631200]Domestic violence needs to start being taken seriously[/QUOTE] I know, I agree. They should go to Olive Garden instead. They have all you can eat soup, salad, and breadsticks!
Interesting decision here. Let's hope it actually works. [QUOTE=Zeke129;34631200]Domestic violence needs to start being taken seriously[/QUOTE] It is taken seriously. Thing is, there wasn't any actual violence. He never hit her. He came close, but he never threw a punch.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;34631200]Domestic violence needs to start being taken seriously[/QUOTE] You know before we get ahead of ourselves, she actually requested the sentence.
[QUOTE=TestECull;34631500]Interesting decision here. Let's hope it actually works. It is taken seriously. Thing is, there wasn't any actual violence. He never hit her. He came close, but he never threw a punch.[/QUOTE] i'm of the opinion that putting one's hand around another's neck counts as "violence"
if the marriage counseling is court ordered so he HAS to do it i don't see why this is so bad. she clearly wants to stay with him, so it would be better for everyone if he was just taught to be a better husband & man rather than thrown in jail
[QUOTE=notxmania;34631517]i'm of the opinion that putting one's hand around another's neck counts as "violence"[/QUOTE] It was definitely violence. In fact it was textbook domestic violence. The hard part is that the "aggressor" is very rarely completely in the wrong. In order for situations like this to escalate the way they do, generally both parties have to push the altercation from verbal to physical. I've never seen a domestic situation happen where one side single handedly escalated a situation to the point of violence. The guy was wrong for what he did, and I'm not saying the victim "asked for it" or anything, I'm saying that both these guys probably contributed to the situation. These people are probably wrong for each other. However, if they don't realize it, no amount of state intervention will change what is going on.
[QUOTE=TestECull;34631500]Interesting decision here. Let's hope it actually works. It is taken seriously. Thing is, there wasn't any actual violence. He never hit her. He came close, but he never threw a punch.[/QUOTE] I think holding somebody up in the air by their neck counts as violence Unless it's actually some deeply romantic gesture that I've missed out on
Why the fuck would anyone want to go to Red Lobster?
This judge shouldn't be a judge, all he is going to do his have it start all over again.
[quote]“No,” the judge said. “But what you’re going to do tomorrow night — tomorrow afternoon, you’re going to [b]sit down and figure out where you’re going to go to [u]counseling,[/u] alright?[/b] So, flowers, birthday card, Red Lobster, bowling. You got your work cut out for you.”[/quote]I have put, in bold, the crucial and important part of this order. This is a weird, but reasonable sentencing.
[QUOTE=JumpinJackFlash;34632197]I have put, in bold, the crucial and important part of this order. This is a weird, but reasonable sentencing.[/QUOTE] That is actually a pretty good idea It's in public so you know he isn't gonna hurt her with everyone watching, they get some nice food (though I've never been to Red Lobster so I wouldn't know) to calm their nerves, and they get to talk and figure out what to do in a calmer environment
[QUOTE=notxmania;34631517]i'm of the opinion that putting one's hand around another's neck counts as "violence"[/QUOTE] Damn I must be a violent person, both in bed and with my friends.
what the fuck lol he went through school, college, university and whatever fucking process it is to become a judge and he makes decisions like this? my faith in humanity remains on very thin ice
[QUOTE=JumpinJackFlash;34632197]I have put, in bold, the crucial and important part of this order. This is a weird, but reasonable sentencing.[/QUOTE] At first I was freaked out that a domestic violence case was solved by forcing the two on a date. Then I saw the counseling bit.
red lobster the court mandated key to any woman's heart
And then the judge ordered him to kiss her tenderly on the neck, caressing her every curve and making her feel like a real woman, followed by a night of hot, passionate sex. For jurisdiction purposes, the event will need to be video taped, to be reviewed at the judge's discretion.
awwwww that's so sweet
[QUOTE=Zeke129;34631200]Domestic violence needs to start being taken seriously[/QUOTE] This has been taken seriously, what more punishment should he receive? The judge has made an opportunity for them to become a loving couple as opposed to throwing him in jail for years and having them divorce.
[QUOTE=TestECull;34631500]Interesting decision here. Let's hope it actually works. It is taken seriously. Thing is, there wasn't any actual violence. He never hit her. He came close, but he never threw a punch.[/QUOTE] Intimidation is domestic violence.
i like judges who think outside of the box
[QUOTE=Bobie;34633131]what the fuck lol he went through school, college, university and whatever fucking process it is to become a judge and he makes decisions like this? my faith in humanity remains on very thin ice[/QUOTE] 1 person out of 6 billion
[QUOTE=CheeseMan;34631506]You know before we get ahead of ourselves, she actually requested the sentence.[/QUOTE] Victims of abusive relationships often protect their abuser, the state needs to start being more proactive Some states have mandatory arrests and no-drop policies for domestic violence (meaning charges won't be dropped even if the victim wants them to be) and it has actually helped in those states [editline]10th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=AngryChairR;34633475]This has been taken seriously, what more punishment should he receive? The judge has made an opportunity for them to become a loving couple as opposed to throwing him in jail for years and having them divorce.[/QUOTE] This wasn't the first time she had to call the police on her husband. Read the article. He is an abuser and if they stay together it's likely that she's going to be seriously injured by him.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;34638149]Victims of abusive relationships often protect their abuser, the state needs to start being more proactive Some states have mandatory arrests and no-drop policies for domestic violence (meaning charges won't be dropped even if the victim wants them to be) and it has actually helped in those states[/quote] Any proof that it has helped? My state has mandatory arrests and no-drop policies for domestic violence but I don't think it has really helped things around here. [quote]This wasn't the first time she had to call the police on her husband. Read the article. He is an abuser and if they stay together it's likely that she's going to be seriously injured by him.[/QUOTE] Yea, but the state can't prevent that. Actually, this is probably the most potentially effective course of action. Domestic Violence is a couple days to month or two in jail usually. It's a gross misdemeanor, you can't punish someone for any length of time with a domestic violence charge. [editline]10th February 2012[/editline] Even if he was put away for a lengthy term, she would still probably wait for him.
[QUOTE=yawmwen;34638258]Any proof that it has helped? My state has mandatory arrests and no-drop policies for domestic violence but I don't think it has really helped things around here. [/QUOTE] [url=http://www.feministlawprofessors.com/2012/02/love-hate-murder-commitment-devices-drop-dv-policies-reduction-men-murdered-intimates/]Here's a blog post that sums it up[/url]. While the rate of violence against women only decreases to a small degree, the rate of reporting domestic violence increases and interestingly, the rate of husbands being murdered by their partner decreases. [editline]10th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=yawmwen;34638258] Even if he was put away for a lengthy term, she would still probably wait for him.[/QUOTE] Abuse victims should be encouraged to seek psychological counselling.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;34638307][url=http://www.feministlawprofessors.com/2012/02/love-hate-murder-commitment-devices-drop-dv-policies-reduction-men-murdered-intimates/]Here's a blog post that sums it up[/url]. While the rate of violence against women only decreases to a small degree, the rate of reporting domestic violence increases and interestingly, the rate of husbands being murdered by their partner decreases.[/quote] I see. Well that is good. [quote]Abuse victims should be encouraged to seek psychological counselling.[/QUOTE] Yea, and supposedly that was part of the sentence.
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