Big thread of facepunchgiving recipes (Add to thread)
34 replies, posted
HEY BITCH! YEAH YOU! YOU MOTHERFUCKING HUNGRY? FOLLOW MY RECIPES MOTHERFUCKER! AND EARN YOUR SELF A FUCKING TASTY ASS MEAL.
Bacon Apple Pie,
Ingredients:
Apples.
Bacon.
Pie Dish.
Pie shell.
Instructions:
Cut that motherfucking apple, Place that cut apple in the pie dish. Put Pie shell ontop. Lay strips of bacon on top. Cook that motherfucker for a hour and 5 minutes. Needs moar bacon? Grip that motherfucking baconsalt and put it on that son of a bitch.
Crispy-ass Turkey Drumstick,
Ingredients:
Turkey drumsticks (use turkey to get drumsticks)
Batter (Any type you motherfucking want)
Deepfrier
Instructions:
Grip that motherfucker, Put it in the egg juice (not with the yolk, hold it in the your hands and let the juice go through the cracks) and dispose of the egg yolk. grip some buttermilk and pour it in the egg juice. spice it up with seasonings if you want. Put the drumstick in the buttermilk then in to the flour or batter. Fry in danish fryer or anyother fryer.
Poster submitted ideas:
[B]Autumn[/B]
[url]http://www.woolmouth.co.uk/recipes/Cookies/cookies.html[/url]
Description: He makes this kind of cookies.
[B]Lithifold[/B]
Description: What you need:
As many chicken breasts as there are people that you're feeding
A few rashers of bacon (probably two for each one)
2 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 tablespoon plain flour
A pint of milk (semi-skimmed is fine)
8oz grated hard cheese
Two of three potatoes
How to cook:
1# Peel the potatoes and cut them into fairly thin slices, spread them around so there's a thin base of a lasagne dish or similar ovenable dish (so you know how many potatoes to cook).
2# Par boil the potatoes for about 10 minutes
3# Whilst the potatoes are cooking melt the butter in a pan, once the butter is melted, stir in the powder, is should look a bit like a yellow dough
4# Add milk and stir till all the doughy lumps have disapated. Add cheese to your white sauce and wait for it to melt to create cheese sauce.
5# Drain the potatoes and tip the potato slices into the dish and spread them around in a similar fashion as step 1
6# Put the chicken breasts in top of the potatoes and pour the cheese sauce over the chicken and potatoes, making sure all of it is covered
7# Put the bacon rashers on top of the chicken
8# Cover the dish in tinfoil, stick it in the oven at 200°c/gas mark 7 for between 50 minutes to an hour, check its cooked by cutting a bit of the chicken open and making sure its all cooked through
9# Serve
===============================================================================
Add to the thread, if you want.
Have some pictures of the apple bacon pie.
[URL=http://www.cubeupload.com/img/70c8002987201900ec87508b7.jpg][IMG]http://www.cubeupload.com/files/thumbs/th.70c8002987201900ec87508b7.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
ENJOY YOUR MOTHERFUCKING TASTY-ASS THANKSGIVING!
looks disgusting, ill stick to microwave turkey dinners
[QUOTE=RoBaDoB;18579770]looks disgusting, ill stick to microwave turkey dinners[/QUOTE]
you sure :q:
if i make cookies, i make these:
[url]http://www.woolmouth.co.uk/recipes/Cookies/cookies.html[/url]
[QUOTE=Autumn;18579817]if i make cookies, i make these:
[url]http://www.woolmouth.co.uk/recipes/Cookies/cookies.html[/url][/QUOTE]
Looks nice.
MOTHA FUCKING QUICK ASS BROWNIES:
YOU WANNA GET THOSE MOTHA FUCKING BROWNIES IN YO MOTHAFUCKING MOUTH FASTER? WELL HERES HOW
INGREDIENTS:
Brownie Mix (and whatever this shit requires)
Glass or Plastic Cup
Ice Cream
Whipped Cream
HOW TO MAKE: Take that shit mix it together in a fucking BOWL. After its at a good baby shit like consitancy SCOOP SOME OF THAT SHIT OUT, And Toss that shit in the cup! Fill that motherfucker half way up! Put that shit in the microwave on high for ONE GOD DAMN MINUTE ONLY ONE! FUCK CANT YOU HEAR?
Take that shit out CAUTION IF ITS HOT YOUR A WHIMP. Put ice cream on that bitch to cool it off then add your whipped jizz cream on top. THERE YOU HAVE A 2 MIN BROWNIE SUNDAY SO STOP CRYING!
[img]http://www.cookingwithfriendsclub.com/images/uploads/brownie%20in%20a%20mug.jpg[/img]
To answer the thread topic
I prefer a quick left hook.
[QUOTE=Autumn;18579817]if i make cookies, i make these:
[url]http://www.woolmouth.co.uk/recipes/Cookies/cookies.html[/url][/QUOTE]
MMM Cookies, i prefer less chocolatey ones. Toffee or white chocolate ones are good
[editline]12:12PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=G12-A5;18579828]MOTHA FUCKING QUICK ASS BROWNIES:
YOU WANNA GET THOSE MOTHA FUCKING BROWNIES IN YO MOTHAFUCKING MOUTH FASTER? WELL HERES HOW
INGREDIENTS:
Brownie Mix (and whatever this shit requires)
Glass or Plastic Cup
Ice Cream
Whipped Cream
HOW TO MAKE: Take that shit mix it together in a fucking BOWL. After its at a good baby shit like consitancy SCOOP SOME OF THAT SHIT OUT, And Toss that shit in the cup! Fill that motherfucker half way up! Put that shit in the microwave on high for ONE GOD DAMN MINUTE ONLY ONE! FUCK CANT YOU HEAR?
Take that shit out CAUTION IF ITS HOT YOUR A WHIMP. Put ice cream on that bitch to cool it off then add your whipped jizz cream on top. THERE YOU HAVE A 2 MIN BROWNIE SUNDAY SO STOP CRYING!
[img]http://www.cookingwithfriendsclub.com/images/uploads/brownie%20in%20a%20mug.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
Sounds like cake in a mug, and what i heard about cake in a mug it taste's like shit.
[QUOTE=G12-A5;18579828]MOTHA FUCKING QUICK ASS BROWNIES:
YOU WANNA GET THOSE MOTHA FUCKING BROWNIES IN YO MOTHAFUCKING MOUTH FASTER? WELL HERES HOW
INGREDIENTS:
Brownie Mix (and whatever this shit requires)
Glass or Plastic Cup
Ice Cream
Whipped Cream
HOW TO MAKE: Take that shit mix it together in a fucking BOWL. After its at a good baby shit like consitancy SCOOP SOME OF THAT SHIT OUT, And Toss that shit in the cup! Fill that motherfucker half way up! Put that shit in the microwave on high for ONE GOD DAMN MINUTE ONLY ONE! FUCK CANT YOU HEAR?
Take that shit out CAUTION IF ITS HOT YOUR A WHIMP. Put ice cream on that bitch to cool it off then add your whipped jizz cream on top. THERE YOU HAVE A 2 MIN BROWNIE SUNDAY SO STOP CRYING!
[img]http://www.cookingwithfriendsclub.com/images/uploads/brownie%20in%20a%20mug.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
Failtroll.
[QUOTE=Rad666;18579838]Failtroll.[/QUOTE]
Except I do it all the time when I need my brownie fix.
Resurrection
4 glucose tablets, two shots of vodka, two energy drinks of your choice, put in blender, drink, either stay up for 48 hours+ or die doing it.
I came across this just by chance, I thought it up and thought it would taste AWESOME.
What you need:
As many chicken breasts as there are people that you're feeding
A few rashers of bacon (probably two for each one)
2 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 tablespoon plain flour
A pint of milk (semi-skimmed is fine)
8oz grated hard cheese
Two of three potatoes
How to cook:
1# Peel the potatoes and cut them into fairly thin slices, spread them around so there's a thin base of a lasagne dish or similar ovenable dish (so you know how many potatoes to cook).
2# Par boil the potatoes for about 10 minutes
3# Whilst the potatoes are cooking melt the butter in a pan, once the butter is melted, stir in the powder, is should look a bit like a yellow dough
4# Add milk and stir till all the doughy lumps have disapated. Add cheese to your white sauce and wait for it to melt to create cheese sauce.
5# Drain the potatoes and tip the potato slices into the dish and spread them around in a similar fashion as step 1
6# Put the chicken breasts in top of the potatoes and pour the cheese sauce over the chicken and potatoes, making sure all of it is covered
7# Put the bacon rashers on top of the chicken
8# Cover the dish in tinfoil, stick it in the oven at 200°c/gas mark 7 for between 50 minutes to an hour, check its cooked by cutting a bit of the chicken open and making sure its all cooked through
9# Serve
Bish bash bosh
Real good nosh
[IMG]http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i238/robbsin/Picture45.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Lithifold;18580077]I came across this just by chance, I thought it up and thought it would taste AWESOME.
What you need:
As many chicken breasts as there are people that you're feeding
A few rashers of bacon (probably two for each one)
2 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 tablespoon plain flour
A pint of milk (semi-skimmed is fine)
8oz grated hard cheese
Two of three potatoes
How to cook:
1# Peel the potatoes and cut them into fairly thin slices, spread them around so there's a thin base of a lasagne dish or similar ovenable dish (so you know how many potatoes to cook).
2# Par boil the potatoes for about 10 minutes
3# Whilst the potatoes are cooking melt the butter in a pan, once the butter is melted, stir in the powder, is should look a bit like a yellow dough
4# Add milk and stir till all the doughy lumps have disapated. Add cheese to your white sauce and wait for it to melt to create cheese sauce.
5# Drain the potatoes and tip the potato slices into the dish and spread them around in a similar fashion as step 1
6# Put the chicken breasts in top of the potatoes and pour the cheese sauce over the chicken and potatoes, making sure all of it is covered
7# Put the bacon rashers on top of the chicken
8# Cover the dish in tinfoil, stick it in the oven at 200°c/gas mark 7 for between 50 minutes to an hour, check its cooked by cutting a bit of the chicken open and making sure its all cooked through
9# Serve
Bish bash bosh
Real good nosh
[IMG]http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i238/robbsin/Picture45.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Sounds good.
I think [b]SOMEONE[/b] be JOCKIN' MY RECIPE MAKING STYLE.
[QUOTE=Scyze][IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/or1dnq.png[/IMG]
[b]Whaat the fuck is that?[/b]
It's what I call a [highlight]Lonely Thanksgiving Egg and Cheese Quesadilla[/highlight]!
It tastes real good if you make it right! And you like eggs, tortillas, and cheese! And some oil and a tad of salt. 'Cause shit, baby, that's all you need to make this lonely sentimentality pacifier--straight to your tummy! Oh, and a spatula. You'll need a spatula.
[b]OHGODOHGODI'MSOLONELYHOWDOIMAKETHIS[/b]
It's simple! Okay!
Here's what you do! Get a stove or hot plate or whatever heating thingy, and a skillet/pan/whatever. I used an iron skillet. It might stick during cooking if you don't have an iron skillet or something that doesn't stick.
Get yoself that pan on that burner and then put some oil in it, a moderate amount of oil, get it all in the pan (if the pan is the right size for your tortilla, yeah--you only need one tortilla, baby, yeah) and then throw that motherfucker right in (the tortilla, that is). Then rub it all in the oil and shit, make it feel nice and good, and then flip it and get oil on the other side too. Now here's what you do, man:
QUICKLY, TAKE THY EGG. Crack it upon yonder edge of frying pan and thusly empty contents of eggshell on top of quesadilla. Then gather yeself some salt and thereto sprinkle a moderated amount of salt on to the egg and its constituents. Now, take heart and wait with some patience for the egg to slowly cook on top of said tortilla until the whites do indeed turn pearly white and somewhat solid, though most like to chance it will be that the egg yolk and the white directly about said yolk shall not cook. 'Tis most important that thou didnst not wait too long before placing thy egg on to the top of thy tortilla elsewise thy bottom of thy tortilla will thy burn thy a little bit.
[b]NOW THE IMPORTANT PART PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE[/b]
You're gonna flip this bitch. You're gonna flip this bitch real hard. Okay, make sure your egg isn't super moving around--the whites around it should solidify so it's not gonna just slide off your tortilla. Now lift up your tortilla, egg and all, with your spatula--now flip it and splat. The yolk'll probably break, but that's okay. Now, if you're using the right stuff it WON'T stick to the bottom of the pan much at all--and if you DO it right. So, let it cook a little--and then pick it up and flip it again. The egg ought to have become a solid wall of eggy goodness. Now, take your cheese (I used mozzarella but you can use whatever you think will taste awesome, yo) and then sprinkle some of that shit right on there, and then fold the bitch over (the whole tortilla, egg cheese and all, that is), press that shit down, and then wait 'til the cheese melts a bit. It don't even gotta melt all the way! Flip it a bit to get an even cook too, then pull that bitch out and eat the motherfucker!
[b]ARE YOU LONELY? NO. FUCK NO. YOU'RE NOT. YOU HAVE SCYZE'S [highlight]LONELY THANKSGIVING EGG AND CHEESE QUESADILLA[/highlight] AND YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LONELY YOU'RE JUST EATING IT TO BE IRONIC, RIGHT? FUCK YEAH. YOU'RE A REAL MAN (OR WOMAN). FUCK LONELINESS. [highlight]HAPPY THANKSGIVING, BITCHES.[/highlight][/b]
[IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/or1dnq.png[/IMG][IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/nbaftc.png[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i46.tinypic.com/krbfd.png[/IMG][IMG]http://i46.tinypic.com/krbfd.png[/IMG][IMG]http://i46.tinypic.com/krbfd.png[/IMG][/quote]
Anyway, shit, there you go.
I rate you artistic again for the multiple sizes of the same picture, Regular Van Gogh!
[QUOTE=G12-A5;18581654]I rate you artistic again for the multiple sizes of the same picture, Regular Van Gogh![/QUOTE]
I rated you artistic for having the fine taste of an established and experienced food-art-art-food connoisseur, Phd. G12-A5!
[QUOTE=Scyze;18581709]I rated you artistic for having the fine taste of an established and experienced food-art-art-food connoisseur, Phd. G12-A5![/QUOTE]
i heart your recipe
Eggs
Ingredients:
Eggs
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=808946[/url]
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=832902[/url]
Threads of mine
Dip your biscuits into the gravy.
[QUOTE=Craptasket;18594537][url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=808946[/url]
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=832902[/url]
Threads of mine[/QUOTE]
looks nice.
Deepfried cake, i will explain the entire recipe if you want.
You guys are working too hard.
[b]TASTY SALMON IN 20 MINUTES[/b]
1. Get some tinfoil.
2. Get some salmon.
3. Put the salmon in the tinfoil.
4. Add Soy sauce lemon and pepper.
5. Put in oven Preheated to 400 and go watch a tv show for 20 minutes.
It's [i]orgasmic[/i].
food MAKES ME WANNA SWEAR FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER
[QUOTE=3com111;18594614]You guys are working too hard.
[b]TASTY SALMON IN 20 MINUTES[/b]
1. Get some tinfoil.
2. Get some salmon.
3. Put the salmon in the tinfoil.
4. Add Soy sauce lemon and pepper.
5. Put in oven Preheated to 400 and go watch a tv show for 20 minutes.
It's [i]orgasmic[/i].[/QUOTE]
I did this hours ago but a bit different
Quarter sliced lemons with lace of Norton's Natural Seasoning with butter. In a propane bar-b-q pit on the top rack on 300-400 for 30 min
[QUOTE=3com111;18594614]You guys are working too hard.
[b]TASTY SALMON IN 20 MINUTES[/b]
1. Get some tinfoil.
2. Get some salmon.
3. Put the salmon in the tinfoil.
4. Add Soy sauce lemon and pepper.
5. Put in oven Preheated to 400 and go watch a tv show for 20 minutes.
It's [i]orgasmic[/i].[/QUOTE]
[B]Heart attack on a dream[/B]
1.Apply ketchup on pizza crust.
2.Apply american cheese ontop of ketchup.
3.Place french fries & chicken nuggets on top.
4.cook or fry for a hour at 450 degrees, if your deepfrying it. chances are it be done much quicker. use a solution to keep fries & nuggets on.
[QUOTE=3com111;18594614]You guys are working too hard.
[b]TASTY SALMON IN 20 MINUTES[/b]
1. Get some tinfoil.
2. Get some salmon.
3. Put the salmon in the tinfoil.
4. Add Soy sauce lemon and pepper.
5. Put in oven Preheated to 400 and go watch a tv show for 20 minutes.
It's [i]orgasmic[/i].[/QUOTE]
Do this, but double wrap the salmon with the tinfoil. (Make sure it's sealed well and tight) Put in the dishwasher, let it run a cycle with the dishes, take out, enjoy.
[QUOTE=Asher Roth;18594653]food MAKES ME WANNA SWEAR FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER[/QUOTE]
Grab a snickers bar, unwrap, EAT. Motherfucker
Get 2 god damn slices of bread.
Eviscerate a mother fucking turkey.
Place the entire fucking thing on your fucking bread.
Smash an entire cranberry grove and smear it on your god damn turkey.
Place the other piece of bread on top of this unholy god damn creation.
Devour.
[QUOTE=Craptasket;18594696]Grab a snickers bar, unwrap, EAT. Motherfucker[/QUOTE]
HI RAD666 HERE WITH MOTHERFUCKING MAYS! BUY A CLONE! BUY A MOTHERFUCKING PIZZA! YEAH MOTHERFUCKER. WE'RE SLASHING PRICES SO GET OUT YOUR FUCKING CHECKBOOK AND COME DOWN TO RADS WAREHOUSE NEXT TO THE WHORE HOUSE ON FAMILY MATTERS AVE.
[url]www.Buyeverythingmotherfucker.com[/url]
[QUOTE=Craptasket;18594663]I did this hours ago but a bit different
Quarter sliced lemons with lace of Norton's Natural Seasoning with butter. In a propane bar-b-q pit on the top rack on 300-400 for 30 min[/QUOTE]
It's the Manly way to cook. Foil and fire.
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