Haven't had the best night tonight. Post any moment that hurt to the point of speechlessness, in an effort to show that we all go through days like this.
I would but she browses here.
You're not alone, man. It gets better. It just did for me tonight.
My mother had a brain aneurysm when I was 11. She was immediately rushed to the hospital and hours later the doctor told us that she would more than likely be okay, he told us she would be taken to emergency surgery and fine within a few weeks. He said the only downside would be she would have some kind of brain damage or something and we would have to teach how to do things normally again, like she would forget a lot of stuff or something, I don't really remember that part too well.
I was already terrified, and when I heard that she would be home soon that made everything a lot better, I had thought I was going to lose my mother. Unfortunately it didn't work out the way they expected and I did lose her. That was probably the most painful and heartbreaking moment in my life because I got things ready for her, and drew her photos and bought her a teddy bear or some other small gift in preparation for her to come home and suddenly she was never going to. One of the worst parts about it too was that she was asleep every time I went to see her, the only time she woke up for a few moments was when I wasn't there. I regret that to this day.
That part of my life made me who I am today, I'm a pessimist and I usually expect the worst out of situations that could have a positive or negative effect on me, although I've been trying to fix that for the last 3 or 4 years. I'm 18, 19 in August.
[QUOTE=woOt_5000;41405604]My mother had a brain aneurysm when I was 11. She was immediately rushed to the hospital and hours later the doctor told us that she would more than likely be okay, he told us she would be taken to emergency surgery and fine within a few weeks. He said the only downside would be she would have some kind of brain damage or something and we would have to teach how to do things normally again, like she would forget a lot of stuff or something, I don't really remember that part too well.
I was already terrified, and when I heard that she would be home soon that made everything a lot better, I had thought I was going to lose my mother. Unfortunately it didn't work out the way they expected and I did lose her. That was probably the most painful and heartbreaking moment in my life because I got things ready for her, and drew her photos and bought her a teddy bear or some other small gift in preparation for her to come home and suddenly she was never going to. One of the worst parts about it too was that she was asleep every time I went to see her, the only time she woke up for a few moments was when I wasn't there. I regret that to this day.
That part of my life made me who I am today, I'm a pessimist and I usually expect the worst out of situations that could have a positive or negative effect on me, although I've been trying to fix that for the last 3 or 4 years. I'm 18, 19 in August.[/QUOTE]
Shit, man. That's rough.
The worst I've got is finding out my Dad ran off to Canada because his wife got sick, and I haven't heard word from him or seen him since. And I mean not a damn thing; he called me once, a week after my 16th birthday, but that's it.
Losing my grandfather. When my dad was never there, he took the place as a father for me. He introduced me to sports, and Kung fu. He always took me where I wanted to go, and even walked to my school(which is a 5 min drive from my house) knowing he had a bad hip cause he was worried my mom wouldn't be on time to get me.
Recently, his schizo side showed up. He believed he saw and heard things, like one with a doctor saying he had cancer, so he acted as if he was dying. I had to drag him to his bed cause he also refused to walk. Then in the past years, they evaluated him and declared him mentally "dead"
Soon after that, he passed away. He was starting to show signs of being better, and we planned to go see a baseball game at the new Miami marlins ballpark. He never got to see his wish, nor could I get to spend time with him one more time..
When my computer stopped detecting my hard drives. I can't try out my new graphics card till I can fix it and have no idea why this is happening or how to fix it...
[editline]10th July 2013[/editline]
You can post your suggestions here...
[url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1288136[/url]
[editline]10th July 2013[/editline]
:suicide:
Putting down my 2nd dog due to horrible lumps of cancer forming over his entire body.
I used to work on an Alzheimer's/dementia ward.
One night when getting the sweetest, most angelic little lady you've ever met ready for bed, I found bruises on her arm shaped and spaced like fingerprints. How anyone could go into that line of work not understanding their actions and wind up hurting someone who still cruised around in her wheelchair, babbling out word salad in a soothing voice to anyone who would listen, checking on her "patients" as she presumably relived her days as a night nurse, and held hands with staff and other residents alike whenever they were sad... Well that just blew my mind, and to be honest brought me to tears.
Watching my most difficult resident die slowly over the course of two weeks was hard too. I'd spent long hours in that room with her, getting screamed at and cussed out on her bad days, and just having mirthful conversations about life many decades ago, or her horses or son, on her good days. I had seen her when she was the most spiteful old bat you'd ever met, and I'd held her hand and hugged her when she had flashes of reality and knew that her own mind and body were both being taken away from her and understood the tragedy of her own predicament. I would never know which side of her was the person she was before, the one who frustrated me and made my job difficult, or the one who made me laugh and made my job worth doing.
She was stubborn though. At first she got confused and screamed all the time, and there was nothing we could do but hold her hand and try to talk soothingly. Then she slowly passed away over the next two weeks or so.
Finally, my grandmother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. In a big way, that goddamned disease has already shaped who I am and how I see the world... It is a horrid disease, and to watch it go beyond killing someone and see it utterly destroy their entire life and shake a whole family to its core is beyond saddening, and beyond crazy-making, and incredibly humbling. If you're like me and you aren't religious, spend some time around people afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease. The confusion and denial and anger of the early stages, and the utterly consigned grief of the later ones... Watching someone relive the death of their spouse every single day like it was yesterday will teach you a lot about what it actually means to spend an eternity in Hell
I guess I'll tell my breakup again.
But I'll put you in the context.
I'm 25, socially awkward. Never had a girlfriend before. So of course I never really knew what love was, how it felt like.
At a birthday of my buddy, we go to a restaurant and the friend of the girlfriend of my friend (don't get lost) comes in. She was invited. I'm not giving her too much attention. Time goes on, till the next evening. By then she showed me lots of signs, like grabbing my hand, lying on me and by the end of the next evening, frenched me. God....it was awesome.
Then our relationship goes fast. Like real fast. I have sex for the first time in the following week. And in my head I prepare plans. But then, after 2 weeks of pure bliss....she ends the relationship, saying it is going too fast for her, that she isn't ready.
Can't argue with that, it was going really fast, but I liked it. Now several months later, I'm still single and still sad. I just hope it won't take me 25 more years to find someone else like her.
Due to my school problems my mom was SICK of depression,
she was crying out on the couch for days, and when I was to school
she was looking at the phone like it was a bomb that will go off any moment.
Back in the day I had severe anger issues. (solved)
I feel like a dick that I made my mums life so damn miserable,
but now I annoy her oftenly, deserved because GODDAMNIT I am
a lazy fuck, I'm too lazy to clean up the kitchen after I made myself some
noodles.
When I was eight, my mom died.
My father only said to me, "Son, there's really nothing to be said."
The day after I was told my stepdad died (he was a cool dude) I just broke down in school crying my eyes out in the middle of a class because it had only just sunk in how much I am going to miss doing things with him and seeing him and all that, the only way to distract my young mind was by taking weeks off school, scouts and everything, it just killed me inside, even at the funeral I just couldn't stop the tears flowing despite it being months after the death and still to this very day if I think too hard about my stepdad I cry so hard it hurts.
My condolences to all of you.
I thought I had something heartbreaking to tell you, but it's nothing compared to this. I hope everything gets better for you guys!
I was gonna post a sad story about a past girlfriend, but after reading these, I won't I tip my hat to all of you who keep an optimist view on life.
When I was 13 my dad had split from my mum a few years before and begin to start drinking heavily. He ended up in hospital many times. Eventually the doctor gave him 3 months to live if he didn't stop. I stayed with him and every weekend to try and care for him and stop him drinking. It didn't work.
It hurts because he knew it would kill him and continued on regardless of my help and care. He passed away 5 years ago now due to liver failure. I wish everyday to this day that I could go back and try harder than what I did helping him :(
[QUOTE=Polonium9;41408745]I was gonna post a sad story about a past girlfriend, but after reading these, I won't I tip my hat to all of you who keep an optimist view on life.[/QUOTE]
Can't really call me optimistic really. But hey, I don't feel like cutting myself yet, so there's that.
I have a heartbreaking moment every day when Gabe doesn't announce Half-Life 3.
When I realised I'd never become an anime
When I was twelve, my mother's fourteen-year-old cat was getting sick. His mouth was swelling up to the point where he couldn't close it and teeth were falling out. She took him to a vets in a little plastic cat box and she was saying "It's probably an infection that could be sorted out with antibiotics; I'll be back soon!"
When she came back she was crying her eyes out and carrying the cat box, but it was empty. He was put to sleep. Mouth cancer.
That cat was older than I was; it was like her child.
Wake up on Christmas morning and from the balcony see my dead, frozen cat 8 stories below.
seeing my father's mental health deteriorate from a perfectly kind and intelligent man to a man who thought he worked for the CIA; seeing the same man drink heavily and beat my mother, hearing them yelling all the time, and knowing that he was still the man who was my father was almost too much to bear when i was growing up.
that is, until we came home from my grandparents' house to find his body on the back deck.
i don't know why he killed himself and i won't ever know. all i know was the shock and heartbreak i felt when i saw him there.
When I was 12 my mother had a heart-attack. She was, I'm told, gone from the second her eyes rolled back. Blockage in the small veins around the heart. My sister and I scuttled off to the neighbor's to wait while my father tore off after the ambulance with our neighbor's wife, a close friend of my mother. It felt like ages passed while we sat in that living room. Hell, it felt like it took hours for the ambulance to show up. After some time, my father returned and asked to talk to us upstairs. On the way I thought of asking "What is it?" suggesting that I thought she survived. I quickly settled for "What was it?" with a very definitive, set-in-stone feeling. Turns out, my gut was right, she didn't make it. My sister cried, I didn't. I felt so bad about not crying that I tried to force myself to cry. Still haven't cried about it to this day, but I'll sit and weep about sad greentext stories from 4chan or sad dog stories to the point that I'm a blubbering mess. v:v:v
The part that really gets me about the whole thing, for a few years prior to her heart-attack, my mom had this crippling pains in her shoulder, they'd make her cry. This woman gave birth to 4 children, all without an epidural, and this pain made her cry. She said it was infinitely worse than childbirth. But she'd never go to the doctor, no, that wasn't anything. In fact, the day she died we'd gone out to pick up pizza for lunch. She made me come along because the pain was so bad. We were in the parking lot at the supermarket, you could see the fucking hospital across the street, it was that fucking close but she wouldn't go, no, not at all, not even for her son, not for her daughter, not for her husband. She'd power on.
The pain passed briefly, we picked up the pizza and drove home, everything was happy. We'd gotten a new tenant in the house we rented out who actually paid their rent on time, our house was getting improved, my sister and I were doing pretty damn good in school. We made plans to go to the mall in a day or so, to F.Y.E. so I could get a new CD or something. We ate, me and my sister were laying on the grass near the table.
My mom went limp, eyes rolled back. Dad yelled for me to call 911. I got the phone and brought it to him, I couldn't call 911, I don't know why. My dad said my mom was having a seizure or something, I knew it wasn't anything like that but I couldn't form the words. My dad had just gotten re-certified in CPR the week prior. At this point, my sister and I ran to the neighbor's and my knowledge of what happens fades. I walked back over with my dad later on in the day, after she'd died, and there was all this stuff from the paramedics laying about. I went inside while my dad did some things and sat in a chair. I played Lego Star Wars on the Gamecube a bit, to distract myself or something when I'd realized I hadn't cried. My sister had gotten mad at me earlier for not crying. I tried to force myself to cry, didn't work.
I'm sorry this is so damn long, every time I start in on this story I start to go through what was going on in my head then. I feel bad about the whole thing because I don't really feel "sad" when I think about it, I don't feel much of anything except mental heaviness, so whenever I tell the story it comes across as overly clinical. v:v:v
When my Grandad was in hospital for the last month or so before he passed, I kept putting off apologising for all the shit I put him through over the last few years and for not visiting him even once in that time (I did visit him in hospital though).
On the day that he passed I woke up with a gut feeling it would happen, and was too afraid to visit him in case it did happen. Pretty much every day since then I think about me being too much of a pussy to apologise and I hope there was no bad blood, because there is none on my part whatsoever.
That happened at the start of the year, but I had a dream the other night that I went to his house and it was just the foundations and some rubble. I spoke to him and he seemed polite but very distant, and my cousins were extremely rude and nasty to me. I felt this really intense emotion that I can't describe, but felt somewhat like extreme anger, sadness and guilt. I woke up feeling completely awful about myself and haven't really spoke or left the house since, it's a really surreal experience
Whenever I see other people cry or get depressed about some shit that I don't even know about
But inside
I can feel their pain
Christmas 2012. I got home at about 7:30pm. We had spent the entire day at my Grandmothers. My mother had to leave an hour early because she was feeling tired. I get home, feed our pets and bring my mother some of the leftovers we got to take home. She tells me "thank you Henry" in a eerie tone. I go in the other room to use the computer. 45 minutes later my stepfather is screaming "GUYS!!! SHE ISN'T BREATHING!! I THINK SHE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!!". We rush in, call 911 and follow their instructions to try and resuscitate her. An ambulance gets there after like 20 minutes. They have a hard time getting her on a stretcher and out. I'm in the other room with the doors closed with the dogs so they don't get in the way. 3 days later, I find out what I already knew: she had passed away that night. Single most heartbreaking thing that had ever happened to me.
My mother had suffered a pulmonary embolism and a stroke in previous years. The official Cause Of Death was plaque blocking the arteries, resulting in an aneurism. As fucked up a thing to say, but it was the best thing that could have happened to her as there was no possible way she could have gotten better and her life was the stuff of a bad made for TV movie with all the screwed up stuff that has happened to her.
oh boy, too many times, and i'm too sensitive to this stuff
getting mental breakdowns multiple times a month because of the shit
and i'm too much of a coward to do anything about it
depressed as shit
When Neil Armstrong died.
It may not seem like much but he was my hero an everything I am doing today and what in going to be doing for a career is all because of him.
My most heartbreaking moment was that my dog had to be put down.
It happened about 4 months ago, but i am still so sad. :'c
my dog was almost euthanized for a disease he did not have
I was so convinced he was going to die, and I cried and cried to the point where my chest hurt for a week
just the thought of him not being around is one of the few things that is debilitatingly sad to me
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